Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[hendo]

I perform a celebratory dance upon my release.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Me and my rhino GF ride off into the sunset.

 

[Darth Caesar]

It's time to run for President!

 

[Verarde]

I ride my wildebeest into the sunset.

(OOC: hoplitejoe, are you thinking what I'm thinking?)

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I keep punching at the lock to get it to open and then run out of the prison.

 

[hoplitejoe]

(OOC: hoplitejoe, are you thinking what I'm thinking?)

OOC: Is it kinky? if so yes.

 

[Verarde]

OOC: Erm, no. I meant your in-game plan.

 

[hoplitejoe]

OOC: the same again.

 

[Boundless]

I hide in my cloak and scare the safari party with funny noises

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I give Attlee the secret sign of the Homosexual Law Reform Society in the insane hope that even if he won't admit to batting for the same team, he will still team up with me.

4: He misinterprets it as a threat.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): A swipe of his paw lets 16 hitpoints out of the closet and leaves nasty gashes that bleed at a rate of -6 hp/turn.

I tell the boss I am finished with the dishes.

20: Perfect. Have five bucks. While Skwink is busy with the political angle, take a few of the boys and round up some weapons.

I show people how I'll lower taxes and spending more and still make a profit surplus, in oder to win support.

7: Nope, they're not buying it.

I get the wound looked at.

3: You look at the wound. It's bleeding worse, up to -8 hp/turn.

I perform a celebratory dance upon my release.

19: Passersby think you're a busker, and you collect $12.23 in loose change.

Me and my rhino GF ride off into the sunset.

16:


Link to video.

You meet up with Verarde.

It's time to run for President!

1: Some goons show up to "persuade" you otherwise.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15: You manage to disarm one of the assassins, then shoot 'em all dead.

I ride my wildebeest into the sunset.

16:


Link to video.

You meet up with hoplitejoe.

I keep punching at the lock to get it to open and then run out of the prison.

15: It... breaks.

I hide in my cloak and scare the safari party with funny noises

1: One of the safari buses comes right at you, you being invisible and all.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (7): You avoid severe injury, but still get beat up for 10 damage.

Train and get stronger/faster/fitter.

16: You acclimatize yourself to the savanna, gaining a +1 bonus to endurance.

 

[Red_Spy]

I try to find a local gunshop with my men.

 

[hendo]

I use some of my money to buy that good luck trinket that I originally had my eyes on.

 

[landlubber]

I ask a woman to help me.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

For no good reason at all, I allow Attlee to lick my oozing blood. If it works, we might just become blood brothers. If it doesn't, I might just become his next lunch.

 

[Skwink]

I convince the Rebel Leader it'd be better to rebel against the Mexican Government.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I sneak out, raiding the armoury and stealing a few guns on my way out.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I do something kinky with my strength, the wildebeest, my rhino and Verarde.

 

[Verarde]

I, uh, help hoplitejoe.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I find who sent the goons

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I try to find a local gunshop with my men.

9: Nought thus far.

I use some of my money to buy that good luck trinket that I originally had my eyes on.

6: You pay $4.22 for a dud.

I ask a woman to help me.

14 (15): You randomly and fortuitously encounter a bushwoman, who stems the bleeding, although she can't set your legs.

For no good reason at all, I allow Attlee to lick my oozing blood. If it works, we might just become blood brothers. If it doesn't, I might just become his next lunch.

17: What are this?! Magic healing powers?! Not only does it stop the bleeding, you also recover 12 hitpoints.

I convince the Rebel Leader it'd be better to rebel against the Mexican Government.

12: Yes, yes, attack a country already in chaos...

I sneak out, raiding the armoury and stealing a few guns on my way out.

10: You sneak out, but the armoury is secured against intrusion.

I do something kinky with my strength, the wildebeest, my rhino and Verarde.

1 (2): None of you dare speak of what transpired ever again. You and Verarde specifically suffer a -2 penalty to social interactions.

I, uh, help hoplitejoe.

16: You help him avoid falling into shock after... well, you agreed never to speak of it again, and also recover the stamina lost in the act.

I find who sent the goons

7: No leads, and witnesses aren't talking.