Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Verarde]

I attempt to find a horse.

 

[mythmonster2]

Sneak around the tourists to catch them from behind.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Appreciating my newfound insanity, aliens befriend me (+3 chance to success of this roll) and offer me unlimited use of their flying saucer, which I immediately use to help Red_Spy get to where he needs to go.

 

[Abaddon]

Woops! Missed a turn!

I go to a Witch Doctor and have him imbue fantastical magic powers on my Gum-balled bear-greased Soviet ostrich medal.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Instead of going to DC, I found explosives and bring them underground with me.

 

[hendo]

I pick up a spoon lying around in my cell and tunnel my way out.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I find a Mad Scientist.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I curse at the gods for having three updates so close to each other.

 

[landlubber]

I try to get out of the savanna.

 

[mythmonster2]

OK, I'm going on vacation soon so I'll change my orders to: Meditate until I come back.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I try to find a way to Skwink.

1: You walk right into government forces.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7: You beat a hasty retreat, but are grazed by bullets for 14 damage.

I attempt to find a horse.

10: No horses 'round here.

Appreciating my newfound insanity, aliens befriend me (+3 chance to success of this roll) and offer me unlimited use of their flying saucer, which I immediately use to help Red_Spy get to where he needs to go.

4 (7): Not crazy enough.

I go to a Witch Doctor and have him imbue fantastical magic powers on my Gum-balled bear-greased Soviet ostrich medal.

17: He sneezes on it, imbuing with it the power to talk to animals for whomever holds it.

Instead of going to DC, I found explosives and bring them underground with me.

2: Raiding an army depot probably wasn't the best idea.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You're beaten for 8 damage and taken into custody.

I pick up a spoon lying around in my cell and tunnel my way out.

16: You dig a hole deep enough to hide you up to your head.

I find a Mad Scientist.

19: Oh look, it's Dr. Robotnik.

I curse at the gods for having three updates so close to each other.

7: ~24 hours or all orders in; whichever comes first.

I try to get out of the savanna.

1 (2): IT'S EVERYWHERE!! After exhausting yourself running in circles (-6 hitpoints), you break down at the thought of wandering lost 'til you die, losing a point of sanity.

OK, I'm going on vacation soon so I'll change my orders to: Meditate until I come back.

8: "OM!! OM!! OM!!"

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask for another job.

 

[hendo]

I hide until they check the cell and realise I'm not visible, then, lacking the intelligence to check inside the actual cell itself, they leave the door open and start searching the station for me, at which point I make my swift escape. And take the spoon with me, I may need it to eat ice cream, yoghurt or soup in the future.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I ride my Girlfriend about the savannah (on her back )

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I laugh maniacally, descending further into insanity, and insanely befriend a lion whom I believe to be the real life Neville Chamberlain.

 

[Verarde]

I attempt to find a zebra.

 

[landlubber]

I try to find a lady to comfort me.

 

[Skwink]

Sam and I return to Rebel HQ. (I'm probably not going to be able to fly to Hawaii in a few days for that last action)

 

[GenMarshall]

I learn archery from the tribesmen

 

[Abaddon]

I speak to the animals and become a famous and rich vet!