Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[MaDaro]

I wait for him to update on my action.

 

[hendo]

I use the teleporter to travel to CivGeneral's location, and help free him from the handcuffs.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I find an enchanter to remove my curse

 

[hoplitejoe]

I give a speech, with Mr T as a celebrity endorser.

 

[Red_Spy]

Continue back to Moscow to find out my new assignment.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Attlee makes the sound, logical argument that his saliva has proven to have curative powers, so he proceeds to attack the disease with his teeth, drooling saliva on top of the diseased areas as he does so.

3 (5): He inflicts 16 damage.

I go and talk (+3) to a local proprietor of a general store in order to buy some materials of any sort, spending maximum $150.

11 (14): You spend $92 on an electric razor, a microwave dinner, a half-dozen stainless steel spoons, and a portable radio with built-in GPS and flashlight.

I use my jet bomber to lead a Hispanic Revolt in the American South West.

13:Those Arizona Race Laws turned out to be a bad idea.

I use the teleporter to travel to CivGeneral's location, and help free him from the handcuffs.

9 (10): Portal's closed.

I find an enchanter to remove my curse

2 (4): You stumble upon a drunk sorcerer that only manages to make it worse. Now none of your own actions will heal.

I give a speech, with Mr T as a celebrity endorser.

15 (16): Ashamed to be the subject of such pity, the citizens of Herat and Farah rally to your cause.

Continue back to Moscow to find out my new assignment.

5: You suddenly realize you don't know where you are.

landlubber, CivGeneral, CivCube and MoreEpicThanYou suffer 35 damage for inactivity.

 

[Terrance888]

With America crushed by Mexico and Dhoomstriker epic failing, I make my bid to take control of BOTH countries.

Advantages: My Mafia, the Mexican-American Revolt, my Cold Fusion Reactor, my Stealth Fighter jet, and Swag.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Thank you, Terrance888, from the elected Leader of the Cartels and elected President of Mexico, for your continued support in pushing Mexico's aims.

My Engineering ability and ability to communicate with Aliens allows me to remind the Master how to reactivate the teleporter as all of us (including Attlee, the Lions, and anyone else on our side who is currently with me) head back to the safety of the Library (yay, Converted Vending Machine) while I promptly tend to the medical needs of myself and any of my allies requiring healing.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Me and Mr T hold a gig to raise support.

 

[Red_Spy]

Try to guess my location from my surroundings.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I sober the enchanter up.

 

[Verarde]

I study the ways of the TV pitchman in an attempt to gain further skills.

 

[Marcher Jovian]

I reserve a spot for myself in the next round.

 

[hendo]

If the teleporter still isn't working, I borrow a digital book on inter-library-loan that teaches me how to repair it and other such alien technology. Otherwise, I read a book about basic combat defensive strategies.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Guess I wasn't as free as I thought.

With America crushed by Mexico and Dhoomstriker epic failing, I make my bid to take control of BOTH countries.

9: Ooh, looks like they're fully mobilizing now.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13: You manage to evade the incoming air-to-air fire.

My Engineering ability and ability to communicate with Aliens allows me to remind the Master how to reactivate the teleporter as all of us (including Attlee, the Lions, and anyone else on our side who is currently with me) head back to the safety of the Library (yay, Converted Vending Machine) while I promptly tend to the medical needs of myself and any of my allies requiring healing.

4 (6): Something's short-circuited. Give him a moment to fix it.

Me and Mr T hold a gig to raise support.

11 (12): Desperate not to be pitied as fools, Afghans across the country contribute $517 to your campaign.

Try to guess my location from my surroundings.

11: Well, you're still in Russia.

I sober the enchanter up.

14 (16): You manage to detoxify him, gaining a companion in the process.

I study the ways of the TV pitchman in an attempt to gain further skills.

4: "[REDACTED] YOU, BALTIMORE!" Big Bill Hell leaps out of the TV and straight into your face for 13 damage.

I reserve a spot for myself in the next round.

19: You reserve a spot for yourself in the next round.

If the teleporter still isn't working, I borrow a digital book on inter-library-loan that teaches me how to repair it and other such alien technology. Otherwise, I read a book about basic combat defensive strategies.

9 (10): Damn and blast! Someone checked it out yesterday.

 

[Red_Spy]

Ask a local about my current location, if there are any.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I have him de-curse me.

 

[Verarde]

I flee from Big Bill Hell.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I buy the rest of Afghanistan.

 

[Terrance888]

I go on national TV and announce the code word to unlock Mexico's sleeper agents to help me take over America.