Should children be given more free time or not?

[bhsup]

I'll defer on your quibble primarily because, as I said, I am not a parent and have never really looked into this at all. It was just a gut instinct answer. Hell, as an uncle, I couldn't give two craps about what's best for the kiddos. I just want them to have a blast when I'm around That's what uncles are for. All the fun, none of the responsibility!

 

[warpus]

Who is to define what is good and what is not for the child? A childless state employee who got her bachelor degree in pseudoscientific branch of psychology but did not get wisdom and a husband?

The state engineers know what they're doing, comrade. Do not doubt them even if they are female and refuse to breed.

 

[Traitorfish]

I'll defer on your quibble primarily because, as I said, I am not a parent and have never really looked into this at all. It was just a gut instinct answer. Hell, as an uncle, I couldn't give two craps about what's best for the kiddos. I just want them to have a blast when I'm around That's what uncles are for. All the fun, none of the responsibility!

Being an uncle might actually be quite a good spot to speak from: close enough to observe parenting as a relationship between two people you're familiar with, but not actually engaged in it so you don't have any personal methods to defend, which allows you to speak more critically.

 

[dusters]

Time is money. Children should get small pocket money and a bit of free time. Just to understand the value of both.

 

[Narz]

Children should spend more times with their parents.

Why, parents & children often don't like each other? Children (beyond the age of 5 or 6) generally learn best from other children, usually older children.

"Free" time? If by free we mean time to sit texting and watching YouTube, no. If we mean freeing them from the classroom -- a dismal place to spend one's youth, bursting with energy yet being constrained to sit all day, surrounded by vicious chimp-politics in t-shirts and brand-name shoes -- to spend their time productively, then yes! By all means. Children should be free to explore, to learn, to grow authentically -- I've retained more from my Tom-Sawyer like summer adventures than any time spent in a school-warehouse. I personally think education should be handled by the parents, but these days parents are locked up in warehouses of their own, and have had so much of their life eaten up by automation that unless they are devoted to a craft or intellectual school, they know nothing of consequence. Most parents are incapable these days of even teaching children how to cook or maintain their homes -- that's what stores and repairmen are for.

Good post.

Since when was it mandated that you buy your kid electronics from a very young age?

It's not mandated but most parents seem to do it. It's much easier to stick a kid in front of a screen than interact with him/her.

I broadly agree, but I'd quibble the claim that it's a decision to be left simply to the parents, for the reason that parents are by definition amateurs. They know their children best insofar as they possess the greatest individual familiarity, but they don't necessarily know what to do with that information, so they should be willing able to rely on the advice of a professional with less individual familiarity but a stronger general understanding for children's behaviour might be better. We already take this as self-evident when it applies to developmentally abnormal children, because we understand that psychologists and other specialists understand these conditions in ways the parents do not. So I think it follows that the parents of developmentally normal children should be willing to defer to specialists (by which I suppose I mostly mean teachers), if not quite so heavily, who better understand children-in-general.

I agree about 50% with this. On one hand I agree parents are amateurs & their own so-called understanding of their children should be questioned. On the other hand, trusting so-called "professionals" is often even worse. Teachers, for my experience, often understand children very poorly as well, they are usually not "professionals" in any real sense, they simply have experience in babysitting large groups of kids & getting them to sit still & pay attention to the curriculum they are forced to teach. Often they judge children by archaic & often incorrect standards & their attention to detail of any one child's behavior is obviously going to be very limited (especially in large classrooms). Other experts, psychiatrists for instance are heavily influenced by both powerful lobbies the push for the medication of children and by the parents & teachers themselves who often care more to make the child fit into the square peg than understand him/her or changing their environment to better suit the child's growth. Perhaps parents should be mandated to attend parental support groups in their community. However, these groups should be free & also free of any advertisements, agenda or sponsors.

On topic. I do think children should get more free time. I did my most creative work on my own. My mother always used to comment on how much worse my art projects were than the art I created naturally on my own.

Children should be given more freedom to roam instead of being stuck indoors, often in front of a screen.

 

[Traitorfish]

I agree about 50% with this. On one hand I agree parents are amateurs & their own so-called understanding of their children should be questioned. On the other hand, trusting so-called "professionals" is often even worse. Teachers, for my experience, often understand children very poorly as well, they are usually not "professionals" in any real sense, they simply have experience in babysitting large groups of kids & getting them to sit still & pay attention to the curriculum they are forced to teach. Often they judge children by archaic & often incorrect standards & their attention to detail of any one child's behavior is obviously going to be very limited (especially in large classrooms). Other experts, psychiatrists for instance are heavily influenced by both powerful lobbies the push for the medication of children and by the parents & teachers themselves who often care more to make the child fit into the square peg than understand him/her or changing their environment to better suit the child's growth. Perhaps parents should be mandated to attend parental support groups in their community. However, these groups should be free & also free of any advertisements, agenda or sponsors.

That's a fair point.

 

[Tahuti]

Why, parents & children often don't like each other? Children (beyond the age of 5 or 6) generally learn best from other children, usually older children.

I am more talking about children aged 4 to 6.

 

[Narz]

I agree with you then!

 

[cybrxkhan]

Free time seemed to work well for my parents and grandparents. My father seems to look fondly back on all the silly things he did with his free time while growing up in Vietnam/Japan/America.

If it works for them, I'm sure it'll work for a whole many other kids.

 

[Commodore]

What do you think should children get more time outside of shool and should parent and other not force them do other activites or should they spend more time on forced activites?

Its not a simple poll but its about discusion about this issue.

Sorry if wrote some things wrong/made it hard to understand what Im asking for.
If somebody don't understand what I have written please post in this thread

Yes I do think children should be given more free time. As a parent I can tell you that I absolutely hate it when I see other parents forcing their kids into activities the child clearly does not want to take part in. We have our daughter in gymnastics and swim class because she wants to be there and if she ever wants to move on to something else and drop those activities we would be okay with that.

I also think adults need to take more free time as well, but for that to happen we would need to restructure society in such a way that having a full-time job is optional rather than a necessity.

 

[chrisg7]

The American education system is a mess. People will leave high school to go out and live their lives, BUT they still won't know how to buy a house, take a loan, and all of the actually important stuff! I remember a friend of mine said, "Yet another day has gone by and I still have not had to comprehend literature, calculate the volume of a prism, or identify the bones of a dissected frog, but I still don't know how to fill out my tax form". Now, this may not be a reason to give kids more free time out of schooling, but I think they could definitely make the time they do spend in school more effective.

 

[Borachio]

Which is harder: dissecting a frog (according to some biological procedure) or filling out a tax form?

I'd suggest that schools don't really need to teach filling out a tax form since such things tend to be largely self-explanatory, assuming a person can read.

Though actually keeping alert enough to retain the information necessary for filling out a tax form might be a good idea, I work on the principal that if the authorities know enough to dispute the information that I provide them with, then they don't really need to rely on me to provide them with the information in the first place.

It's like they expect me to lie flat on the ground, willingly, before they shoot me in the back of the head.

I guess schools should be teaching transferrable skills. And I think they mostly do.

 

[Oruc]

I broadly agree, but I'd quibble the claim that it's a decision to be left simply to the parents, for the reason that parents are by definition amateurs. They know their children best insofar as they possess the greatest individual familiarity, but they don't necessarily know what to do with that information, so they should be willing able to rely on the advice of a professional with less individual familiarity but a stronger general understanding for children's behaviour might be better. We already take this as self-evident when it applies to developmentally abnormal children, because we understand that psychologists and other specialists understand these conditions in ways the parents do not. So I think it follows that the parents of developmentally normal children should be willing to defer to specialists (by which I suppose I mostly mean teachers), if not quite so heavily, who better understand children-in-general.

They should turn to the grandparents for advice

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Which is harder: dissecting a frog (according to some biological procedure) or filling out a tax form?

I've done both, and while I don't usually have much trouble with a tax form (dealing with the paper-pushing morons at Revenue Canada is the hardest part of the procedure), that poor frog I had to dissect in the fall of 1977 has bothered my conscience to this day. It was an innocent animal, and there was no need for it to die just so I could get a mark in my Biology 10 course.

 

[cybrxkhan]

Which is harder: dissecting a frog (according to some biological procedure) or filling out a tax form?

I don't think it's whether it's harder or it's easier. It's just something that would be nice for kids to be exposed to, so they know they won't rely on mommy and daddy forever. And the class wouldn't just focus on filing out tax forms, but maybe discuss ways to responsibly handle ones budget, or different types of taxes, or something.

And yes, some people can be that stupid.



One little regret I do have is never taking this personal finance class in high school (LoR whatever it was called). It was supposedly a joke class but it would've been nice to be expose to important things I'd be dealing with in the future, and not blunder into it like an idiot.

 

[MilesGregarius]

...Children (beyond the age of 5 or 6) generally learn best from other children, usually older children.

...Children should be given more freedom to roam instead of being stuck indoors, often in front of a screen.

They should turn to the grandparents for advice

Agreed and agreed.

From what I've observed in developing societies - and from my recollections as a kid in a big extended family - child rearing really works best as a communal endeavor. In fact, especially for a couple's earlier children, it seems most of the upbringing is left to the grandparents and younger siblings of the parents as working age parents are too busy bringing home the bacon.

The idea that parents raise children in isolation - the dreaded "nuclear family" - is really only a product of the atomized nature of late industrial and post-industrial societies. How to remedy this disconnect now that we've got it, I ain't got the foggiest.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The idea that parents raise children in isolation - the dreaded "nuclear family" - is really only a product of the atomized nature of late industrial and post-industrial societies. How to remedy this disconnect now that we've got it, I ain't got the foggiest.

Yep. I lived with my parents in one section of the house and my grandparents (dad's parents) lived in the other section. This was an arrangement considered entirely normal by my dad's side of the family, as the farming community they lived in before coming to this area was also like that - three-generation households, or at the very least the grandparents lived very close by.

People have asked me if it felt weird to live with my grandparents, as though they were an alien species. The answer is no. It felt normal, and it's the nuclear family setup that baffles me since the grandparents are so often ignored or shut out.

 

[MilesGregarius]

People have asked me if it felt weird to live with my grandparents, as though they were an alien species. The answer is no. It felt normal, and it's the nuclear family setup that baffles me since the grandparents are so often ignored or shut out.

Or willingly cut themselves out of their grandchildren's lives because they'd rather get in another round on the links with their septuagenarian friends...

 

[cybrxkhan]

I grew up with grandparents. Though I wish I were more closer with some of my uncles/aunts/cousins/second cousins/whatever, I was still closer to them than a good number of Americans are. I guess that's something typical of a lot of immigrant groups, anyways.

I do find it a bit baffling that in mainstream American society it's considered weird at best if you live with your parents, and the stigma associated with it. It makes perfect sense to me: you save money, you know your "roommates", if you have kids yourself you have free babysitting service, your parents have someone to help them if theyre old, etc. Of course if you and/or your parents are terribe people and/or have a bad relationship I can see why it would be difficult, but otherwise ,why not, if it is possible? Nowadays the stigma is starting to wear off but I still find it a bit curious.


Most extreme example from my family I can think of is my second cousin, who grew up with his grandparents, parents, 3 (unmarried) aunts, one of his older cousins, and an uncle (along with his new wife, more recently). They also lived close to my cousin's other uncles and their families. My cousin turned out fine. His whole extended family also helped my family a lot when we were in situations that required a bunch of people, like moving to a new house or something, so that was nice.

Actually that is nothing compared to my dad who lived with ~15 relatives, but that was in Vietnam and Japan, so it doesn't really count.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I do find it a bit baffling that in mainstream American society it's considered weird at best if you live with your parents, and the stigma associated with it. It makes perfect sense to me: you save money, you know your "roommates", if you have kids yourself you have free babysitting service, your parents have someone to help them if theyre old, etc. Of course if you and/or your parents are terribe people and/or have a bad relationship I can see why it would be difficult, but otherwise ,why not, if it is possible? Nowadays the stigma is starting to wear off but I still find it a bit curious.

It wasn't until 2009 that I moved out of the family home I'd lived in for decades with my grandparents and dad (my mom has been out of the picture for a long time). My dad got sick and eventually ended up in a nursing home. I couldn't cope with the house and yard on my own, so after two frustrating years of trying, I had to accept the necessity of moving into an apartment. After 34 years in that house and 46 years of living in a three-generation family home, it was a very difficult adjustment.