Spanking children. What good does it do ?

[Brighteye]

Oh please. My point was that spanked children defend the practice because they don't like the idea of people going around saying that something awful happened to them when they were kids. If you don't have lasting psychological scars from being hit by your parents, the idea that you were "abused" as a child is a frightening and embarrassing one.

The fact that self-conscious spank-apologism perpetuates violence against children is what really disturbs me.

Are you being deliberately provocative?
Perhaps I should start claiming that people who weren't spanked are maladjusted and do not understand the world and values properly? That everything they say about spanking is a result of not having been raised properly?

If I did, I should perhaps just come clean and admit that that's claiming that everyone who disagrees with me is mentally challenged and incapable of enlightenment. Which you should do too.

What an argument! You disagree with me; I am right; therefore there is something wrong with you.

 

[Gogf]

Hold on a minute Gogf. I was an abused child, but the abuse wasnt from spanking. As I have stated I was even spanked in public school right up into Junior High. But I know what kinds of awful things can happen to kids. But I can vouch in my case for certain that spanking kept me from being some delinquent in school.

A parent doesnt have to hit you to abuse you. Not by a long shot.

No that's not what I mean. I respect your defense of spanking because you're a parent. But I think most of the people that defend it do so because they don't want people thinking that "something is wrong with them." I've seen too many people defend things that they actually hate when they took criticism of them as a personal assault for some reason.

 

[Zardnaar]

I got spanked as a child. I only ever got the leather belt once though. It teaches you discipline and the consequences of your actions.

 

[Gogf]

Are you being deliberately provocative?
Perhaps I should start claiming that people who weren't spanked are maladjusted and do not understand the world and values properly? That everything they say about spanking is a result of not having been raised properly?

If I did, I should perhaps just come clean and admit that that's claiming that everyone who disagrees with me is mentally challenged and incapable of enlightenment. Which you should do too.

What an argument! You disagree with me; I am right; therefore there is something wrong with you.

What a gigantic misrepresentation of my views.

 

[Gooblah]

Spanking a child isnt beating them into submission....its getting their attention with a swat on the butt. If you have spanked a kid to the point you have left marks on them you have hit them too hard.

I dunno about that, MobBoss. My mom called it spanking when I was on her lap, my rear in the air, and her palm smacking it. She already had my attention.... I like the definition though.

All I know is, I got "spanked" a few times and I turned out fine. Now, my parents hardly have to yell...they just give me the biggest guilt trip ever (and their concerns are justified, after all, they are my parents).

 

[Archbob]

Mark my words, a quick smack on the ass never hurt anyone.

 

[EweezE]

Mark my words, a quick smack on the ass never hurt anyone.

Unless you do it to your female boss. In which case you are slapped with a lawsuit and fired.

 

[Archbob]

This is about kids, not female bosses. I just challenge those to fights to the death.

 

[Arwon]

Stop trolling. You suck at it.

I do not troll sir! That was a humourjoke!

 

[Berzerker]

spanking drives the point home fast... If yer kid tries to make a habit of running out in the street or has a "fascination" with outlets and stoves etc parents dont have the luxury of explaining the danger until after they make sure the kid stops. You can reason with them the rest of the time.

 

[TopDog]

Pain is a superb teaching tool because that's what it's evolved to do in us!

End of thread. This is why controlled spanking works.

 

[Enkidu Warrior]

I wouldn't want my kid to do the right thing out of fear of violence.

 

[aneeshm]

Hitting a child is the only way to teach it that it is not the boss. Same goes for a dog and woman.

You can't hit a woman, and neither should you. If your personality doesn't have enough force to compel her to accept your authority, you have no business being in that relationship.

 

[Truronian]

When you become a parent you will realize you simply cannot watch your child 24/7. One of the reasons you need to teach them right from wrong.

It's not a case of watching them 24/7, but knowing what they're doing 24/7. Keeping an ear out and knowing which doors are open works perfectly fine, and I do speak from experience of looking after my 1 year old brother during my mother's recent pregnancy.

I also dispute that smacking a child too young to understand most speech will teach them right from wrong... how do they know why they're being smacked? For all they know it could be for failing to get all the way to the top of the crystal cabinet.

 

[Truronian]

End of thread. This is why controlled spanking works.

Excepts pain is meant to make us vary of what ever inflicts it, which in this case would be the parent.

 

[Brighteye]

What a gigantic misrepresentation of my views.

A reasonable interpretation of what you had said up until then.

Excepts pain is meant to make us vary of what ever inflicts it, which in this case would be the parent.

Except that's not how it ever works. Even a small child is not that stupid. Nor is a rat, or a mouse, or a ferret.

When mummy cat swats her kitten for biting her tail, kitten does not run away from mummy cat; it doesn't bite the tail any more.
When an animal is bitten by a snake, it doesn't avoid that area; it avoids that area and snakes, and often learns that the area is safe without snakes.

When a rat is given an electric shock, it is quite capable of associating this with actions of its own, and not only with the immediate source.

The most important thing for small children, or dumb animals, is that the punishment follows as soon as possible after the misbehaviour. As they learn to reason and are capable of delayed gratification then this becomes less vital.
In many situations spanking, or a smack, is an eminently suitable punishment, since withdrawal of treats or a good talking to are delayed punishments and time consuming, respectively.

 

[Rik Meleet]

At the bottom of each CFC page are links that are connected to the topic. They are generated automatically and might help with the topic. For this topic they might provide some reading for the interested ones.

 

[Truronian]

Except that's not how it ever works. Even a small child is not that stupid. Nor is a rat, or a mouse, or a ferret.

When mummy cat swats her kitten for biting her tail, kitten does not run away from mummy cat; it doesn't bite the tail any more.
When an animal is bitten by a snake, it doesn't avoid that area; it avoids that area and snakes, and often learns that the area is safe without snakes.

When a rat is given an electric shock, it is quite capable of associating this with actions of its own, and not only with the immediate source.

The most important thing for small children, or dumb animals, is that the punishment follows as soon as possible after the misbehaviour. As they learn to reason and are capable of delayed gratification then this becomes less vital.

I'm not disputing that it can (sometimes) work, I just don't see "that's what pain's for" as a reasonable excuse for it.

In many situations spanking, or a smack, is an eminently suitable punishment, since withdrawal of treats or a good talking to are delayed punishments and time consuming, respectively.

Assuming said child can understand speech, then it's fairly simple to explain how the lack of rocking horse is linked to the prior destruction of a garden gnome. If the child can't speak then he can't understand that what he is doing is wrong; in which case I see smacking as reprehensible when there are other ways to go about stopping the toddler.

 

[Angst]

You can harass your kids' minds in other ways than spanking...

..

 

[philippe]

I understand the viewpoints of the anti-spanking crowd, but being spanked myself, and also see it used on the smaller family members, I don't really oppose it, in fact i think it should be alright for an parent to do it, as long as you don't think as parent that it's some magical means. No, the tem "beat the poop out of them, and they'll grow up just fine" doesn't work. But it doesn't stop that spanking can give a powerfull mesage and can be used as a means to raise your children (among other things)

I think spanking happens more automatically at the very young age though, and that's when it's most effective.

A good example is this cousin i have:

When he spend the week at his father's palce he comes back as a spoiled brat, when he has spend the week with his mother and grandmother, he is behaving well.

The difference is that my sister in law and stephmother are way better at raising kids and yeah, it's "old-skool", especially when my father is involved. Nothing better to stop bad behaviour in it's tracks than the angry looks and behaviour of a buff guy like him with hands that have seen the test of time and metal. (although he will refrain from using them, the threat alone can be as powerfull, if not more then the spanking itself)

and I think many parents fail these days as parents due to a lack of personal responsibility, using tv as a means of "keeping them buzy" and refrain from using corporal punishment when it's needed.

But in the long run, it's up to the parents themselve, no-one is forcing you to raise your kids in one way or another, as long as ya love them of course.