TerraNES2: SilliNES Part 1: The Invisible Hand is In Your Pants

[videonfan]

OOC:Hope you don't mind If I took the liberty to name the Islands as well and the Continent expect from my neighbours

Spoiler :

Name: Quiltec
Colour: Purple
Location: Jamaica
Government: Tribal republic,in which tribal leaders are elected from the Council of Tribes every 8 years from one of it's members.If the leader dies before the elections take place,emergency elections are called.One can serve Quiltec without restrictions in his terms.
Current Leader: Elder Matahasut
Capital City: Atalhupa
Army: For a boy to be considered a man,he has to join the army,be it land or naval forces.
Navy: Not too big,but large enough to secure trade with the different nations that exist within the periphery of Quiltec.
Economy: Trade with the surrounding nations is the biggest source of income for Quiltec.There is ofcourse fishing and a really small part comes from agriculture.
Religion: There is a pantheon,with great importance being held by the Sea god.
Stability: Stable.

ORDERS:

1.Our nation is small and suffers from overpopulation.We must expand our diplomatic ties with the people in the north Island(Cuba) and create small colonies that will eventually expand with the help of the local population.

2.Invite tribes from the eastern island(Modern day Haiti and Dominical Republic) to join the Quiltec and become part of the federation.Promise them seats for their prominent tribal members in the Council of Tribes.

3.To the north of us lies a lucrative land for trading and adventures.Send ships to secure trade with the natives in those lands,hoping to spread the Quiltec culture and religion through trading.

4.Begin the construction on ships and the research on how these ships could further be improved to travel further into the Continent of Gods(America).

 

[videonfan]

Quiltec's Neighbours​

To trade efficiently,your neighbours have to love you.This is the main principle of Quiltecian diplomacy.Because of it's strategic position in the Caribbean,or "Caulhu" as the Quiltecians call it,Quiltec has always been a prime spot for trading between the native nations.

But this chapter is not about Quiltec.Instead,it's about Quiltec's neighbours.
To the north of it exists the island of Cuba,or "Ahalpua" as the natives call it.There is the tribe of Huph,which is a prime trading partner for the Quiltecians.Recently,trouble has brewed in the island of Ahalpua,as the Tulthsul have risen on the far north and are challenging Huph's primacy for the island.Whoever Quiltec decides to help will surely win this struggle.But is that nation willing to pay the sacrifice for gaining help from the cunning merchants to their south?

East of Quiltec lies North America,or "Continent of Gods",as the Quiltecians call it.Because of their inability to travel further than Caulhu,the Quiltec have come to believe that there exists the Continent of gods,which would give them great power and wealth if they ever came to discover it.Arriving on the Continent is a great point of discussion among the Council of Tribes.Some believe the meaning is spiritual and as such the sea can not be transversed with human means.Other more innovative Tribe Elders(Members of the Council of Tribes) believe that with the right technique and with the right materials and steering,the sea could perhaps be transversd and more trading partners be found.

East of Quiltec lies the land of "Monecia",where there used to exist a powerful kingdom.It's name is obviously taken from the legendary king Moneclu,who is said to have been the first to have transversed the seas and arrived in the island of Quiltec,where he established a colony.Whether this is simply a legend or the truth behind the poliitical situation in the Carribean,the Quiltec have used it try and convice the Pach and the Yulpu tribes to become parts of the Council of Tribes and to join Quiltec.Up to now such claims have been dismished by the two tribes,but nevertheless diplomatic relationships between the tribes and Quiltec has been established and trading has commenced.Whether Yulpu,Pachs or Quiltec would unite Monecia would be seen in the future.

((HORRIBLE MAP EDITING WARNING))

Spoiler :

((Are the names acceptable?))

 

[Terrance888]

Yes. Thanks.

 

[Seon]

The Otterman Letters

Ottdad,

Dearest Wife

It is with my greatest pleasure that I inform you that the grounds of the new academy has finally been finished. Those stuck-up bastards of Antioch will never make fun of us for being uneducated barbarians ever again. Respect me for I am a prestigious fellow indeed.

Your loving husband,

Erlinen the Most Magnificent Ottan

(Coming soon to a bedchamber near you)


Ottdad,

ERLINEN!

What the hell is wrong with just TALKING to me if you want to send a message? For the otter gods' sake, I know you enjoy your new imperial bureaucracy, but using the mailing service to send a note to my bedchamber from the same city is stretching it too far! This is not mentioning the fact that somebody neglected to put a stamp on it AND BY SOMEBODY I MEAN YOU so I had to pay the delivery fee as well.

And it had better be a bedchamber near mine because you, sir, are still grounded after your last visit when you nearly brained me with your foot. Think of my delicate constitution!

And while you were building finely mosaicd walls and golden pillars in some godforsaken school filled with whoresons, I had find a way to pull money out of nobles' asses to supplement our empty treasuries while our son was out on the Kuwait dealing with accursed outlander incursions. It'll make a man out of him, you said. Bah, our sons' wife is not able to BREED in such a foul climate of Kuwait and that is bad for our Royal Dynasty! I demand that you order him returned to the capital at once!




Ottdad,

Dearest Wife

My son stays exactly where he is right now. Do not think for a second that I do not know what you plan. I would like to inform you that despite my advaced years, I am still perfectly healthy and perfectly capable. He will inherit the throne in good time, but not now.

Your dearest, healthiest husband.

P.S. My son and the other nobles have been complaining of Kuwait situation. Please send maps of tribes near that location. I think it's time for the army to do a bit of trotting.


Ottad-PRIORITY ALPHA MAIL

ERLINEN!

Are you out of your mind?! Our treasuries are nearly empty! The nobles are more less content! There is absolutely nothing at all to be gained from killing pagans...welll...except for satisfaction I suppose, but nothing actually monetary! Sudden attacks of piety is a well-known occupational hazard for all Ottans! You cannot fall for it as your grandfather did!

P.S. Have you seen the new dancer in the palace halls? Shameless hussy, I can almost swear that you can see right through her clothes! Why, if somebody was not here to protect her, the courtiers would succeed in their own conquest! If only there was somebody in the capital to protect them!


Your Loving Wife.




Kuwait


Dearest Wife,


You may be wondering where I am. To be perfectly honest, so am I. The generals got lost on the way and now the seers are arguing about star positions to find out exactly where we are. My armies are heavily sunburnt and the desert seem endless. I am writing this knowing that eventually the letters will reach you and that I will find the barbarians.

Silly little place. The desert cannot be all that big. I bet that if we could divert some waters from Tigris we would eventually be able to make this land into fertile paradise in one or two generations. When I told this idea to my retinue, they simply chuckled nervously. Probably jealous that I thought of it first.

The weather is fine and I am enjoying the respectful company of my fellow men.

P.S. Please send more money. The army eats money like grain.





Kuwait.

Dear beloved.

We found the bastards today! Our horse archers tore apart them while they slept while the archers finished off the rest. Glorious day! Yet more remains in the desert sand and the work will not be complete until all who oppose me are dead. These fools will have proper respect towards the Otter Gods!

P.S. Please send more money.

Your Most Magnificent Ottan.

Kuwait.

Most magnificent wife.

The longer I stay away from you the more I miss your most magnificent qualities, of which letter writing is unfortunately not. Some would consider this a grievious fault of personality or a lack of compassion but I, who have lived with you for many years, know that this is false.

As such, I am sure you will welcome little Terly and his wet-nurse to court and make sure they are provided for. I happened to be busy razing a hamlet to spread the word of the Otter Gods some months back when a pretty wench caught my eye. One thing led to the other and she and her sister was pregnant even though I hardly touched her. Unfortunately the woman tried to steal some gold and I had to turn her over to the soldiers. I saved little Terly though! I think he'll have a great future in the presthood.

P.S. Please send more money.


Ottdad,

To the Most Magnificent Ottan,

This is a message written in your wife's stead by the Stewards of Ottdad. We regret to inform you that she is not reading your letters as her time is being preoccupied by, we quote, "funding the merciless bunch of whoresons as ever menaced the known world." We estimate that she will read the letters when Kuwait turns into a fertile grassland.

 

[Terrance888]

Sitcom titles,

Odd and Otter
Ottan than that
Ottdad and Ottmom
The Ott Couple
Otterwomen
Whoresons Inc.

 

[Gem Hound]

Now as far as I am aware we are currently at early Iron Age/late Bronze Age. Biremes existed by this time, as depicted by a mural at an Assyrian Kingdom. However, Phoenician had also invented trireme at this time as well.

As the late Roman Republic and Athens still heavily favored bireme composed navies about 600 years in the future, it can be argued that bireme trireme and monoremes all existed in some form of another at this time period. What is unlikely, however, is anyone having a large navy of biremes and triremes. Most likely they were pride of kings and nobleman, serving as symbols of great wealth and power to whoever owned them.

Edit: additional research have yielded that king of Samos devoted 40 triremes to the king of Persia for his invasion of Egypt arou d this time period. This means that a size able trireme navy is definitely plausible.

Seeing the types of states, I'm moving the timeline to the late Bronze Age/early Iron Age. So a out 1600-1200 BC. Everything remain valid.

I'm going off this start date. The first recorded use of triremes in combat were in 525 BC as you have mentioned. The first rumours began about 610 BC. Biremes became popular with the Phoenicians during the 800s - Biremes were then copied by the Greeks.

 

[Seon]

Oh, I thought this was around 600 BC based on early Iron Age / late Bronze Age XD

 

[Terrance888]

600 BC would be after the Bronze Age Collapse and thus in my not so expert opinion count as Early Iron Age. Ergo, while bronze is still used, Iron is becoming the primary metal as bronze gets more expensive (but not rare!).

Iron Age Proper would be when iron-working is "perfected" and is used in PREFERRENCE to bronze.

Late Iron Age is merely when advanced pre-classical societies exist, but aren't exactly "Classical" societies yet.

Classical era would be a period of sophistication, culture and written records. Military wise, instead of new metals, the key military developments would be new technologies (various catapults), techniques (advanced sapping strategies), and tactics (maniples, banner system).

After Classical would be Imperial, Dark, or merely "Postclassical" depending on development. i.e. dominance by a single classical power which develop unique imperial institutions, fall of classical states into a renewed state of heightened military rivalry with lowered cultural consideration-and possibly domination by barbaric neighbors, or a continuation of classical era states in a sort of equilibrium with the natural rise and fall of tides. These are not mutually exclusive and all three can occur. Even Postclassical->Dark->Imperial.

 

[Seon]

Otterman Orders

Form a military academy in Ottdad to pump out new generation of capable military commanders, emphasizing horsemenship, initiative, and strategic thinking.

Form the Imperial Bureaucracy in order to help administer a large Empire.

Tax the peasants to space.

They say that a good offense is the best offense. Therefore we invade Kuwait.

 

[Terrance888]

Taking that as invade FROM Kuwait.

 

[Ailedhoo]

The Black Dogs, under Warlord Fergus y Fuilltagh, will seek more glory!

Spoiler :

Stats

Government: Clan Despot; the Clan Warlord Fergus y Fuilltagh is the boss.

Capital: Laksey (Laxey).

Culture: Aase (basically if Manx had even more warrior aspects of the Norse but more in appearance and nature of the Celts... o and it developed to such before the Vikings came!)

Religion: pagan, with especial note for the general populace worshipping the sea god Manannán while the Clan inspire themselves around a ghost dog.

Reputation: fearsome but honourable.

Economy: limited due to isolative location and for "raider" reputation. We are going to need to raid to get additional goods and to try to gain tribute. The local economy is primly focused on food production and craftsmanship. We are connected to the Land Roar but we are going to need to increase our trade still more.

Military: decent enough for raiding. Axes are plenty among the warriors, although metal armour is limited to the odd armband for the elite warriors, leather clothing providing more the protection. Fearsome in moral and quick. Alas still trying to recoer lost forces that were lost against the Bloody Dragons.

Navy: decent enough for raiding, though more for speed transportation than direct sea battles. Will lose in a frontal battle: hence must rely on speed and avoidance.



Orders

The Black Dogs will ally with the High Pack: together we will make Scotland raiding ground! A fleet will set sail with raiders to help burn the ships of our rivals! Use the communication tactics developed during the fishing quest to help co-ordinate our forces! Once we done that we can launch a costal raiding gorge on the Scottish clans! 1,200 raiders will be assembled for this gorge, leaded by Warlord Fergus y Fuilltagh himself! May both our clans raid till the towns are dry of stuff to loot and take with the loot plenty of thralls. Glory to the raiders!


We must learn the way of the bow if we are to face the Red Dragon in the future. Order the development of an archery range near Rushan; this will then be commissioned by our hunters to train a professional group of archers to help not only defend but to raid.

We need to secure our trade network with the Land Roar Clan; commission the deployment of 250 warriors under command of battle lord Mariot ny Scaa. Her orders are to patrol the supply route between our trade post of Lerphoyll and the settlements of the Land Roar. This should protect trade from any Red Fox raids at the most and possible bandit bands at the least. It will also reinsure our commitment to trade with the Land Roar, even with the Winter times upon us.

We need to make full use of our sheep and hence while using them to help us in the Winter we must set to help us gain more goods and glory. Commission for a herd of 45 sheep, with a ewe provided, to be set to be traded with the Land Roar as a way to gain access to any food provisions they have access to that we do not. This in turn will encourage our future alliance to be conceived.

The communicative system used during the fishing session was of horn blowing to help give out tunes of communication and note; the different notes were of different communication.

 

[Terrance888]

Orders due in 24 hours!

 

[SmithRobloxian]

Country: Ostrian Republic.
Government: Republican.
Capital: Stadt des Palastes, where modern-day Hamburg is.
Economy: Weakening by the harsher war raids, civilians on the coast feel the need to either travel inland, or sail away from home.
Tech Development: Early Composite Bows. Bronze Working. Hunting. Large-Scale Agriculture. Animal Husbandry. Early Catapults. Horsemanship.
Culture: Now stable, but is expected to fall if the war ends up stopping for whatever reason, either by peace or total conquest.
Religion: The idea of Thur is becoming a major religion in the Republic, some fear that the government might make it the state religion if it continues to embrace the Republic's masses.
Army: (Check down at the commands)
Navy: A navy now exist, but is numbered in the single digit due to Stafian raids, so most of the naval defense is from mercenary ships.

Country: Ostrian Kingdom.
Government: Despotism
Capital: Neue Heimat, which is where London is.
Economy: Improving, minor trade goes through Neue Heimat, along with immigrants from the war between Stafia and the Republic.
Tech Development: Early Composite Bows. Bronze Working. Hunting. Large-Scale Agriculture. Animal Husbandry. Horsemanship.
Culture: Stable, without any major improvement
Religion: The freedom to worship any religion is still in place, and the Despot's family still believe in Thur.
Army: The recruited tribes members are stationed to defend their towns, while the Elite guards patrol the capital's slums
Navy: Still a few mercenary longboats. Still.

- The Ostrian Kingdom accepts the defensive alliance with the Blood Stone Clan, it is best to unite with the local clans in this new world.
- The Kingdom begins installing patrol routes through the ghettos to bring order between the refugees. The Despot knew that the damn 'public would end up starting a war for whatever reason.
- The Ostrian Republic starts a total industrial focus on ship-building, with some experimental ones with it's spine reinforced with bronze, along with fireproof ones with fur and ones with catapults on them.
- The Republic also start forming a special elite army called the Sea Marine. Powerful offensive soldiers covered in bronze armor, armed with a sharp blade and a large shield, these are the pride of the Republic.
- The Republic accept Overlordship of Southern Juteland, only requesting them to hold the line against the Stafian scum.
- The Third Truppe holds off the conquest due to formation of kingdoms like Berlion (Light Yellow) and Helland (Light Purple), for now, instead focusing on holding onto the new territory gained.
- The First Truppe continue pushing through Barbarian/Stafian Juteland, their capital must be around here somewhere!
- Both the Kingdom and the Republic are putting in force rationing to cope with the worsening weather, with the latter having tighter rationing.

(In terms of personality, the Berlioners are Nationalistic and Independent, while the Hellanders are Nationalistic and pushing against the Republic's boarders to control the Netherlands.

I also wish that if possible, you should put detail into the wars, it's a good read and it can help build a bit of fluff for said wars.)

 

[Terrance888]

Fluff is your job. I'm here to moderate, not tell stories.

Also, Netherlands is 4 countries. Jsuk.

 

[Tycho]

The Jutland Preparations​

The drills began at dawn, and they were brutal. The fresh faced soldiers that had been drafted into the Stafian army were young, twenty years old at the most senior level, and they were roused with the shouts and yells of the grizzled and old Raider-Kommanders and the sound of gongs and bells being rung. Slackards were dragged out of bed and into the mud with barely anything on and kicked and punched until they had been given a sufficient punishment and forced to run with the others for twice as long. Only after three hours of running and warmups were they allowed to sit down to gnaw hungrily on the food that they were fed from the farms of Stafia and the ones from places that had been raided already.

Following that came the training with weapons exercises. First was the shortsword blade called the tantor, with a ragged and rough edge to it and thin enough to slice through thick armor underneath the bronze plate. After that was the training with the longer blades called the torlen, straight edged and double sided, and then the glorified bastard sword known as the Kitel-Hander. Training would then divide amongst the people between the bow users and the hand to hand combat; archers practiced on live targets, typically criminal slaves armed with weapons and told to run and try to escape, hide, or kill the soldier that was coming after them with the bow and dagger. Hand to hand combat was as brutal, with the soldiers told to keep fighting unless they broke a bone or died. In this way, the weak were parsed out from the strong and were sent to an auxilliary corps for the dropouts, who would train with spears and the like.

The few that would be selected to be officers and ship captains had the pleasure to oversee their selected units work underneath them in constructing a longship; timber was felled by the groups of men, carried for five miles to be sawed and trimmed before being assembled over the course of several days. Failure carried a heavy weight of fifty lashes for a man that failed to follow the construction advice of his elders and the others around him, and the rest of the group would deliver the lashes themselves one by one to the man in question. Failure was one thing that would not be tolerated, along with a list of other things that included unorganization, no discipline, improper respect to senior officers, burning food, not sharpening weapons, maiming another soldier in anger, loitering, and most importantly slacking.

At this point, the soldiers would then be given their longship to preside over, tall and proud, split into units that further divided them. Atypical raiders carried the short tantor, the longer torlen, and the glorified bastard sword the Kitel-Hander as well as a small, one handed axe perfect for throwing or slamming into an opponent's throat, as well as daggers and a hide covered shield, often replaced in order to make sure fire arrows would not set them aflame. Bow users used the shortbow and the heavier sarlell bow which could hurl arrows two hundred yards at the least. Cruel and unusual arrows were used, ones with sharp prongs and some with the shaft covered in spikes or made of especially splintery wood so that way it would break into multiple pieces on entry. No mercy for outlanders.

At this point, raiders would be prepared to sail. The High King had ordained that the Jutland would be taken at any cost, and those that resisted in the supple and green south would meet the wrath of the wintery raiders, who cared only for their death and destruction underneath their boot.

 

[Tycho]

Honest question, I'm guessing I get no bonuses for fighting two nations controlled by one player?

 

[Terrance888]

You are fighting one nation, which has another nation at war with it. Both nations are controlled by one player.

So no.

 

[Tycho]

You are fighting one nation, which has another nation at war with it. Both nations are controlled by one player.

So no.

Ah, I thought the Kingdom and the Republic had allied against me for some reason and were two separate entities rather than one joint union.

 

[Terrance888]

The Republic kicked out the Kingdom, which is in exile on "Great Terra Longboat" aka Great Britain. The Kingdom is gathering allies and resources to retake Ostria.

Tycho, how do you respond to your diplomacy?

 

[Bair_the_Normal]

Yah-nah-rah-thah-red-in-luh-win.

Listening to you trying to say my names, I shed a tear of pride.

Orders:

Spoiler :

Stats:
Celestial Kingdom of Yanawratharyedynlwin: Bair_the_Abnormal_Words
Government: Ultimate Theocracy
Capital: Kyaunpyawngadaw Rangyigon Ngathaichau Yriyankrungyi Yrimnpyawray Ryawngdawmyawngey Yri Yanawratharyedynlwin
Size: Moar big.
Culture: Ultimate Under the Light of the High King
Economy: Meh [Based on lots of rice; and foreign goods]
Religion: Kyaunthang Ngawangtyao
Army: Strong central archer-based presence; occasionally some untrained Ngukng Pyantryi as well.
Navy: We have pretty niceboat now.

Send a Heavenly Official Envoy to Myentalapurinaw to say something along the lines of:

"Oh hey we kind of kicked you out of your home territory. Let's have peace yo. If you want to keep fighting, then by all means continue. Let's just take a break for now OK?"

Send a Heavenly Official Envoy to Malwayngamaeagni to say something along the lines of:

"Be quiet and eat your rice. If you petty idiots come across the border, we'll kill you, and kill what's remaining, and crush and burn what's remaining from that. And salt your cities and stuff like that."

Let's withdraw our archers, as well as a third of the Ngukng Pyantryi, back to the Malwayngamaeagni border. Our troops shall make no attempt to enter their territory, and will hold in the bordering jungle. The weakened monsoons should allow these troops to hold better, and with less disease and stuff.

We have more land along the Thai Chau, so let's make use of it. In the more southern portions of former Myentalapurinaw, we shall put the former Myentalapurinaw workers [now slaves] to work on rice farms in that area.