TerraNES2: SilliNES Part 1: The Invisible Hand is In Your Pants

From Myentalapurinaw

Breaking is what we shall do to your spine, you divine royal butt.


From Malwayngamaeagni

Don't forget the rice.
 
My orders:
Spoiler :

Kxqjza/SK
Government: Despotic Tribal Confederacy
Economy: Meh
Army: Medium strong
Navy: Good on rivers, not much else
Stat Formatting: Temporary

-Head east by boat and begin attacking a few tribes to the east, in Indiana/Kentucky. Use mostly raiding tactics but subjugate and conquer if/where possible.


Yah, they suck, but I'm still orienting myself here. Maybe I'll send better ones tomorrow. I'll also name tomorrow. Promise*
 
The Republic kicked out the Kingdom, which is in exile on "Great Terra Longboat" aka Great Britain. The Kingdom is gathering allies and resources to retake Ostria.

Tycho, how do you respond to your diplomacy?

Stafia would like to offer the Kingdom aid and equipment in these dark times for them in return for helping to recapture their land and restoring them to their rightful place, if they help Stafia in it's goals.
 
12 Hours until Orders are DUE!!!!!

EDITOOC: Am I serious or am I spamming? TBH, I would use the timer tool if I can figure out how to use it without checking it up EVERY FIGGIN TIME.
 
Barkindji Confederation Orders

Spoiler Current Stats :
Barkindji Confederation (Grandkhan)
Nation Type: Confederation of Tribal Villages united around a single city.
Government: Tribal Council (Council of Elders)
Capital: Widiwirri
Government Techs: confederation, rule of Authority,
Economy: Prosperous
Economic Techs: Large scale agriculture (Pencil yam, wattle seeds, macadamia, Warrigal Greens), urbanisation (Cities), pottery, hunting (Kangaroos, emu, small marsupials, small reptiles), gathering (Bush foods), metallurgy (Copper, Bronze), Fishing (Freshwater fish, yabbies*), Trade, Barter, Semi-domestication (Emu)
Culture: Thriving
Religion/Mythology: Dreamtime†
Cultural Techs: oral literature (Dreamtime stories), spiritualism, cave/wall painting, hero worship
Military: Moderate
Military Structure: Part time soldier levies
Military Techs: Spears (Bronze/Copper/Stone/Wood), spear-throwers, knives (Bronze/Stone), Clubs (Stone/Wood), war boomerangs, Tribal military tactics, Command
Navy: Moderate (River)
Naval Structure: Rafts manned by merchants and their mercenaries to protect against piracy as they trade with other cities along the river basin.
Naval Techs: River rafting, rudimentary sails


The time has come. Desiring the fertile lands of the River Basin, the Wergaia have invaded. All of the lower Ngurendi-Menindi who will come travel to the badly defined border between the Wergaia and the Barkindji, to fight against the invasion of the Barbarians.

Outnumbered, the Ngurendi-Menindi stand between civilisation and barbarism, between freedom and slavery, between their homes and the rapacious enemy.

This! Is! Antipodeia!

No changes to stats.
 
Greek Orders

Greece/Christos200
Stability: Stable
Government: Absolute Monarchy
Army: 100,000 Hoplites
Navy: 100 Tririmes

Have the soldiers to build a Great Wall to protect the border with the FYROMIANS and then a second Great Wall to defend Ionia.
 
Spoiler :
Name: Stahfla
Capital: Cold Harbor (in the crook between Norway/Sweden)
Government: Absolute Monarchy/Feudalism
Economy: Mostly Stagnant
Culture: Jingoistic
Religion: Paganist
Army: 11500 Raiders, 3500 militiamen
Navy: 10 longships

Seeking to take the Jutland and crush the resistance of the uncivilized kingdoms down there, the Stafian Kingdom accepts the overlordship of the Kingdom of the Red Dragon and recruits ten thousand additional raiders, three thousand archers, and another two thousand militiamen as well as building another seventy longships. A two pronged attack, one aimed at the shipyards of the Republic in order to break their backbone at sea, and another in doing a quick shock and awe attack upon the Juteland, marching with the Red Dragon soldiers in order to take the Jutland for Stafia.
 
Greek Orders

Greece/Christos200
Stability: Stable
Government: Absolute Monarchy
Army: 100,000 Hoplites
Navy: 100 Tririmes

Have the soldiers to build a Great Wall to protect the border with the FYROMIANS and then a second Great Wall to defend Ionia.

It would be far simpler to, you know, actually devise a plan to defeat the enemies.
 
I am thinking of my Modern nation, when tourists would come to see the Great Wall. :p
 
Oh great.

Have you ever heard of the Great Wall of Korea? It was built centuries ago by Koreans to defend against the Mongols and the Chinese, a good plan flawed by the same reason as the Chinese Great Wall, namely that it didn't freaking work. Have you ever heard of this wall?

I would bet no, because few people care about some fortification that's not gonna work unless you can see it from space.

I mean, if you want to turtle your nation and stop expanding, Great Walls are very expensive way of defending your nation. It would be a stupid waste of resources if you plan on expanding beyon the wall you just created.
 
ORDERS/STATS
Kansan Tuhat Saarta
Nation type: Tribal confederacy
Capital:Suuri Kaupunki Saurella (big island between Finland and Sweden)
Government techs: Levies, confederation, republic
Economy: Mediocre
Economic techs: small scale farming, large scale fishing, seaborne trade, land trade, mining, forestry, hunting, large scale animal husbandry.
Culture: varied, but same cultural grouping
Religion: common elements such as sacrifice of humans and animals, mysticism with forests, and shrines. some gods are also common to most of the tribes
Cultural Techs: alphabet (not commonly used), oral literature, mysticism
Military: medium
Military Structure: core standing army of high quality troops, well trained levies
Military Techs: Bronze axes, shield bosses, spears, arrowheads, and slicing swords; Bronze scale mail; fur armor; bronze reinforced fur helmets; shields; primitive composite bows and longbows; Motti tactics; shield wall
Navy: large
Navy Structure: core of high quality ships with good crews, large numbers of lesser levies
Navy Techs: sails, rams, longboats, galleasses, salted food, ports

Standing army: 3000 heavy infantry, 1000 archers
Levy army: From the islands and the coasts: 6000 heavy infantry, 10000 light infantry (i.e. shield and sword/axe/spear, but little to no armor), 6000 archers; From the mainland (forests and swamps): 8000 archers, 10000 skirmishers (javelineers, perhaps with shields and light armor), 4000 light infantry

Standing Navy:
30 Galleasses with rams
15 Longboats
Levy Navy:
15 Galleasses without rams
80 Longboats
35 sailing vessels

Orders:

Continue expanding trade and alphabet usage internally. Spread alphabet to trading partners when possible. Expand trade that already exists, and try to initiate trade with the Saamelaiset to the north.

Build a series of border fortresses in the forests along the northern border. Recruit 10,000 skirmishers, archers, and heavy infantry (with a ratio of 6:4 infantry to archers/skirmishers) from the levies to staff them. Offer land for livestock, tax immunity, and shelter/safety from barbarians. Try to encourage people to migrate to these forts, with the end goal being the forts serving as defenses and also trading posts. They should be built out of wood/trees with earth walls and trenches outside the walls.

Investigate the strangely metallic rocks sometimes found in the tin and copper mines; investigate whether it is indeed a metal.

Give a message to tribes to the East that they will be considered part of the Kansan Tuhat Saarta if they migrate to the existing lands of the confederation and are willing to send delegates and levies when called upon.

Continue sending naval flotillas to explore the lands to the west and establish contact and trade with peoples there.

NEARBY TRIBES

Saamelaiset
Ferocious, semi-nomadic, and almost barbaric, this is probably the most powerful group in the region other than the Kansan Tuhat Saarta. They are located in the northern section of Finland and the far north of Scandanavia.
Their economy is primitive and is based on trading furs and herding reindeer. They have a few towns in the south of their territory, in the taiga rather than the frozen tundra, which serve as trade centers.
In warfare, they use dog sleds like chariots and skirmishers and light infantry with fur armor and copper and bone weapons. However, they also possess a fearful and unique weapon - reindeer riders. After more than a thousand years of breeding reindeer for size as livestock, they have rather recently (within the last 100 years) begun to ride these beasts with primitive saddles and harnesses. The war reindeer are massive, standing higher than a man, and are surprisingly mobile. They are ridden by archers and sometimes spear-armed troops.
Thriving in the cold, the current climate trends may serve to make them only more powerful. However, they are somewhat splintered and are not united, merely in coexistence and sometimes in civil conflict. They also have a comparatively low population.

Ezeru Iemītniekiem
These are the tribes to the southeast of the Kansan Tuhat Saarta. They are located roughly where you first put the Kansan Tuhat Saarta but also in Livonia.
They are rather similar to the Eastern tribes of the Kansan Tuhat Saarta, but speak a different (but related) language and have slightly lower levels of technology. Their economy is based on light mining, hunting, and animal husbandry. As they are not nomadic, their trade centers are their villages.

Skógur Fólk
These are the tribes of Eastern Sweden, living along the coasts and in forests.
They resemble the Ezeru but are slightly more advanced. They also use a language completely different from those to the East and have a completely different religion.
There are also coastal tribes which resemble the people coming from the western part of the Kansan Tuhat Saarta - utilizing heavy infantry and shield walls, with a generally similar level of development. However, they use primarily longboats and galleys and have not come across salted meat for long journeys quite yet. Their economy is based around trade and fishing. They do some mining and farming as well.
 
If I was in a trade network with the Med I would take this opportunity to offer some of my warriors as mercenaries to the Greeks, taking advantage of the defence focus of the Greeks for our economic and military training benefit.

Alas the cold Irish sea is away from the usual hot Med. :(
 
The King's Palace, Neue Heimat, the Great Terra Longboat.

The Despot stares out from his balcony, looking over the formation of the city as it's citizens go about their daily business. As he was watching the trade from the sea come in, his eldest daughter knocks on the wall, joining him on the balcony.

Father, said the daughter, there has been another riot south of the river, the news of the Republic's victory didn't settle well with the Stafia-

I know, replied the Despot, as he turns to face the servant, the war between them and the shadow of the old kingdom do tend to cause much unhappiness. I want you to tell the chief guard to set up a outpost and a patrol route in those slums, I rather not have the traditions of the past bite back against us.

Yes, father... There is also more I have to tell you.

Oh?

The 'Ny Clagh Folley Clien' have offered a defensive alliance, to help secure our trade routes, and Stafia offered to help us in return for us joining the war against the Republic.

Consider the Clien's offer to be accepted, but Stafia, the Despot sighed, looking back at the city, if we help Stafia, we will end up with greater riots, ones which are strong enough to destroy what little we have, not including how they raided the old kingdom without remorse in the past... He turns back to his daughter. Tell them we will not join the war, for neither their or the Republic's side. We only act as a safe haven for those who lost their home to the Thur-forsaken war.

The daughter nods, if you will, father.

The daughter leaves, for she knows that until her father dies, she is his servant, and a servant she shall be...

(Also, the Kingdom wouldn't go back to the old lands, due to how they are banished from said lands. Plus, next turn, the daughter will become the new Despot, due to family traditions.)
 
Unable to updates. Parents took away electronics BEFORE curfew. Also, neglected to wake me up from my after-work nap until it was basically curfew. Got no homework done... homework that usually best done with internet access. Will spend all night trying to do internet-aided hw without computer internet/
 
China looks oh so lonely! :D

Culture Name: Oguro
Government: Loose association of kingdoms ruled by a random assortment of despots or elite councils
Stability: As stable as a rock tittering on the edge of a cliff can be (i.e. barely stable). Alliances and associations between each locality come and go as time sees fit.
Army: Presence of a warrior caste allows for small standing armies. Other forces include levied soldiers from the population and roaming mercenaries from neighboring regions. The average foot soldier wears cloth armor and is able to competently utilize a lengthy spear.
Navy: Only serves to protect trade. Lack of consistent infrastructure along the coast away from river mouths prevents significant naval fleets/campaign. Travelling out of sight of land is unheard of. Recent growth in river based fleets to protect ever increasing development along the natural arteries of transport.
Possessions or Territories: The hub of the Oguro peoples is nearby what would be Guangzhou. Settlements can be found on adjacent rivers, areas inland that are easily travelled, and coastline originating from this central hub.
Religion: Primitive Ancestor Worship. The Oguro believe in a strong association of a person’s soul with their physical appearance. Any sign of aging in later life is thought to represent an equivalent withering of person’s soul. To preserve the memory of any person in their prime, elders are commonly banished from society. Oguro kingdoms with access to the sea prefer to force elder to set sail away into the oceans, never to return.
Culture Color: Purple
 
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