#~~ The HEhe HAha Joke Thread ~~#

[diablodelmar]

I didn't really get all of those/didn't find them funny.

 

[BCLG100]

i got them all they just wernt hilarious

 

[madviking]

Q- How can you tell that someone is on the Russian Artic fleet?

Spoiler :

A- they glow in the dark

 

[cemsity]

who is the god of beginers?
A-n00b-is

how many ADD/ADhD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
hey, wanna ride a bike

AT YOUR OWN RISK the joke is in the spoiler

Spoiler :

So this gay couple is planning a romantic night, and they realise they have no condoms left so one goes to buy some but before he leaves he says to his partner "please don't whack off i want this to be a speacial romantic night," the other agrease. the guy who bought the condoms returns home, he sees semen all over the wal,l hanging off the chandaliers, ect. he gets realy angry at his partner saying you ruind are night, the other guy responds in his defence "i did not whack off, i farted."

 

[Own]

I don't get the spoiler one. How can you fart semen?

 

[Dreadnought]

Well, the semen got into the butt....and he farted. How did it get there? Connect the dots

 

[Own]

But I thought there was no butt sex before he got the condoms, oh never mind.

 

[Perfection]

Up in heaven, a bunch of scientists are playing tag, and it's Albert Einstein's turn to be "it". Once he gets done counting, he turns around and sees Isaac Newton just standing there, in the middle of a box he's drawn on the ground. So Einstein walks over and tags him, but Newton doesn't do anything. Einstein says, "Newton, what are you doing? I caught you." And Newton replies, "No you didn't. I'm Newton over a square meter. You caught Pascal."

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Up in heaven, a bunch of scientists are playing tag, and it's Albert Einstein's turn to be "it". Once he gets done counting, he turns around and sees Isaac Newton just standing there, in the middle of a box he's drawn on the ground. So Einstein walks over and tags him, but Newton doesn't do anything. Einstein says, "Newton, what are you doing? I caught you." And Newton replies, "No you didn't. I'm Newton over a square meter. You caught Pascal."

That is probably the funniest physics joke i ever heard.

 

[CivFan91]

 

[cemsity]

@ perfection
teh best physics joke evar

Hitler to SS officer: Kill every Jew in germany
SS officer: every Jew
hitler; Yes even if he has a 1/1000 part jew
ss officer pulls out his luger and shoots hitler

only if...

 

[WildWeazel]

Up in heaven, a bunch of scientists are playing tag, and it's Albert Einstein's turn to be "it". Once he gets done counting, he turns around and sees Isaac Newton just standing there, in the middle of a box he's drawn on the ground. So Einstein walks over and tags him, but Newton doesn't do anything. Einstein says, "Newton, what are you doing? I caught you." And Newton replies, "No you didn't. I'm Newton over a square meter. You caught Pascal."

That actually helped me on my physics final!

 

[History_Buff]

Up in heaven, a bunch of scientists are playing tag, and it's Albert Einstein's turn to be "it". Once he gets done counting, he turns around and sees Isaac Newton just standing there, in the middle of a box he's drawn on the ground. So Einstein walks over and tags him, but Newton doesn't do anything. Einstein says, "Newton, what are you doing? I caught you." And Newton replies, "No you didn't. I'm Newton over a square meter. You caught Pascal."

Quoted again for awesomeness.

 

[diablodelmar]

I don't get, someone explain?

I know only a little about physics by the way.

 

[Kal'thzar]

its to do with an equation in physics.

p=F/A

pressure equals force per unit area.

Force measured in Newtons, area in metres squared and pressure in...

Pascals.

 

[diablodelmar]

Ok I get it!

 

[Mise]

PHYSICS JOKES!!!!

- A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

- Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says 'I'll have what he's having.'

- Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

- What do you call chocolate over two pies? Chocolate-bar

-

Spoiler long one :

A physicist, a biologist and a chemist all go on a beach trip for the first time in their lives. When they get there, the biologist is in awe with all the aquatic animals and the algae and all the biodiversity around him, so he decides to go explore the ocean. As he’s never been to the beach before, he drowns upon getting into the water…

Meanwhile, the physicist has been observing the waves. Water moving back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth. He then decides that it’s time to do some fluid dynamics experiments with this very interesting new liquid, so he goes into the water. As he’s also never been to the beach before, he also drowns…

The chemist, who has been sitting on the sand nearby, has been observing what the biologist and the physicist were doing, and how they dissappeared into the water. He then takes out a notepad and writes down one single observation:

“Physicists and biologists are soluble in ocean water”

 

[Kal'thzar]

ok the long one was funny

The others just have a very high groan factor....

 

[plarq]

- Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says 'I'll have what he's having.'

What? The other can't have the same one because of Pauli Exclusive Principle?

 

[classical_hero]

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?" The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."