The Real World NES

[Azale]

I am...well, don't know. I can never find myself a good historical alter-ego...

 

[Insane_Panda]

Swissempire(Mussolini): Sweet i just invnted Facismo
silver2039: wat a gay name its Facism + itz mine
Mod: silver changes his government to Facism
silver: sweet, now die Otter scum
North King(Poland): Damnit silver, i had a lot of work at skool.
Insane Panda(Russia): Oui, Oui, onto the band wagon
NK: **** you panda, that was my estern front
Mod: Poland is eleimated and genocided
Iggy(Britain) and Farow(France): Silver, its on, we like NK
silver: watevs
IP: Death to Finland, the Baltic is mine*starts winter war*
Reno(FInland): WTH, Fin powers, activate
Mod: Orders due
IP: Can you delay the update i need to send mine
Mod: Nein, zig Heil Das!!!!!! Ehrm... No
Reno: Whoop, held off the Soveits

This isn't anything like the real us.

 

[North King]

Well, he is right. I would've won, but for all the darned homework.

 

[das]

Personally I rather dislike those "dialogues" as such. They strike me as rather ******** - no offense intended to Iggy or any others.

 

[North King]

Much offense taken.

 

[Imago]

I'm sure some will find the following utterly stupid, some will find the following funny, and some will just be left scratching their heads...

 

[Imago]

The following is the NESification of the Wikipedia article on the Second World War…

(NOTE-DEgaul is more of a general France than the person you might assume.)

World War II

HITler-I invade Poland!

Church-Hill-Can’t let that Poland fall. I declare war on Germany.

DEgaul-Ditto.

HITler-What’s this all about? You let me take Austria and Czechoslovakia? What’s Poland to you?

Church-Hill-Alliance dragged me in, and I don’t want a reputation hit.

PolAND-Hey! What’s this?

MOD-…And German tanks take out charging Polish calvary…

HITler-Stupid n00b.

PolAND-Germany maybe I can understand, but why did Russia have to attack me too?

Stalinator-Deal I made with Germany before you took the country. Sorry.

HITler-OK. I need more eco centers. I’ll invade the rest of neutral Europe.

DEgaul-My God…sending an army through Belgium… My 20-Turn project wall is useless…

HITler-Stupid Maginot Line. I’ll let you keep the southern third of your country if you be my puppet state.

DEgaul-Sure!

Church-Hill-You’re just folding…

DEgaul-It’s more fun on this side. You get to murder innocent people here.

HITler-It’s just… I wanted story bonuses, and I couldn’t think about anything else to write about…

MooseLINI-Murder? Sounds like fun. I’ll join the Axis!

HITler-Okay, then.

Church-Hill-My eco centers… My beautiful eco centers! What did you do to them!

HITler-Bombed them, duh! This is the easiest war ever! Operation Sea Lion, here we come!

HITler-Wait, what’s this? You still have an air force? Damn. I’ll invade you later, then.

Church-Hill-Ha-ha!

MooseLINI-I’ll invade Greece!

HITler-Greece?

MOD-…And Greece, despite Italian superiority, forces the Italians back into Albania…

MooseLINI-Who needs tactics?! I’ll put half a million troops in your territory, and then we’ll see who’s the boss of whom!

MOD-Are you aware you’re talking to an NPC?

MooseLINI-I lost again? Well then, let’s forget about Greece… All right, how else can I help you Germany?! I know! I’ll invade British Somaliland! W00t! FTW! I came, I saw, I conquered!

Church-Hill-You are aware British Somaliland has no eco centers, right?

HITler-…stupid ally.

MooseLINI-Alright then, if you’re so smart, you tell me what to invade.

HITler-Try to get the Suez Canal.

MooseLINI-Yes, sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RoseVelt-I have now just made pubic the Lend-Lease Act. Germany, be aware I frown upon your actions.

HITler-Oh, Shut Up. You can’t even be bothered to enter the war!

RoseVelt-…I’m a builder.

HITler-Okay, I just got Hungary and Bulgaria on my side, and took Yugoslavia, and Greece…finally. (Damn stupid losses at Crete!!! It’s just a small island. Why was it so hard to capture?)

HITler-Okay, this is getting boring. Britian just sits there, and I have to invade somebody… Ah, Russia!

Stalinator-WTH??!! I’m your ally! And you just invaded the largest country in the world. I’ll never let you get away with this!!

HITler-Eat 400 Army Divisions, creep. Operation Barabarooooooooooooooooosa!!!!!

HITler-I’m almost at Moscow, now!

Stalinator-Almost, but not quite.

HITler-Stupid winter.

RoseVelt-I must say, T0j0’s actions in China have been quite depressing. I’m going to have to place an oil embargo on his country.

T0j0-No fair…I wasn’t invading you, I was invading South-East Asia and China!

RoseVelt-And now you’ll have to stop. See, non-military actions can still accomplish goals.

RoseVelt-My. Beautiful. Pearl. Harbor. Is. Gone. Noooooooooooooooooooo!

T0j0-Take that, stupid peacemonger.

RoseVelt-I am sorry to say that the United States, in light of recent events, must go to war with Japan.

T0j0-You don’t even know how to fight a war, do you? I’ll crush you, and China, and everybody else that stands in my way.

HITler-Germany declares war on the US. Japan, now that we’re helping you, can you help us by invading Russia from the far end?

T0j0-Nope.

HITler-Damn!

T0j0-Hong Kong, down. Philippines, down. Malaysia, down. Borneo, down. Singapore, down.

Church-Hill-Not Singapore!

Stalinator-Take that, HITler!

HITler-I might be slowed, but I’m still moving forward, and you lost 20 divisions at Kharkov.

Stalinator-I’ll fight to the end. The end, I tell you!

HITler-How unrealistic.

MooseLINI-I can’t reach the Suez! I’m being turned back!

HITler-Why did I bother to waste good divisions to help him?

Rose-Velt-I proudly present Operation Torch.

MooseLINI-Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

HITler-What Moose said.

Rose-Velt-And, I’m not just good in the Mediterranean. I’m good in the Pacific, too.

T0j0-You beat me at Midway. You knew my plans. MOD!

MOD-America was able to break the Japanese codes, so I told Rose-Velt everything.

Rose-Velt-See, spending eco on things like Cryptography IS worth it.

T0j0-And I’m starting to loose in China too? Damn.

Stalinator-I’m winning.

HITler-Slowly, though.

Stalinator-But I’m still winning. Ukraine’s mine again, baby!

MooseLINI-What??!! Sicily fell??!! No way??!!

MOD-Due to all of Italy’s recent failures, your nation has ousted you as a leader.

MooseLINI-NO way! You can’t do that!

MooseLINI-You’re not booting me from the game. I…I QUIT! HA!

MOD-…And southern Italy falls to the allies…

HITler-I’m not sure why I’m offering you this, MooseLINI, but I’ll let you have a German puppet state in Northern Italy if you come back.

MooseLINI-Sure! The first time I left, it was just a misunderstanding.

HITler-Whatever you say.

T0j0-Hey! Why am I still loosing in China and the Pacific?

MOD-Realism.

Stalinator-You thought you could take Moscow. Well, I’m going to be taking Berlin!

HITler-*sweats* Got to conquer somebody. Got to conquer somebody. Ah, Hungary.

MOD-Hungary’s on your side.

HITler-Ah well, I’m Hungary for Hungary!

MOD-…

Stalinator-…

Stalinator-I give thee-Operation Bagration!

HITler-I lost 80 divisions! 80 divisions!

MOD-And Belarus.

HITler-But I’m not dead yet. I got V-Rockets that I developed. World’s first cruise missiles and all that. Yeah!

Rose-Velt-Wait until you see what my secret project is.

Church-Hill-D-Day!

DEgaul-I think I’ve decided to stop being your puppet state, HITler. I’ll fight you instead.

HITler-Why????????

Rose-Velt-You lost the Battle of the Budge, HITler. The end is near. Give up.

T0j0-Not so for me. Hah! I can last forever.

MooseLINI-We’re loosing so bad, HITler. I quit!

MOD-…Mussolini’s body was hung upside down on public display…

HITler-Serves you right, little Moose. Wait, what… He’s my last ally. I QUIT!!!!

MOD-…And Germany collapses…

T0j0-I’m not dead yet! You’ll have to kill every last one of my divisions before Japan falls!

Rose-Velt-I quit. All I wanted to do was be peaceful, and look what this NES turned into.

Church-Hill-But…what about that secret project you were telling me about, that could end the war?

The True Man-I’ll take the USA!

MOD-Look in your PM box, and you’ll see what the secret project was.

The True Man-Cool!!! Nukes!!!!

T0j0-What’s a nuke?

The True Man-Like I’m telling you!!!!!

T0j0-Well, I assure you, whatever a nuke is, Japan will fight to the very end!

...

T0j0-...Oh…I…Surrender. *Begs*

 

[North King]

Stalinator-I’ll fight to the end. The end, I tell you!

HITler-How unrealistic.

I burst out laughing at this.

EDIT: Damned Netscape.

 

[Kozmos]

The following is the NESification of the Wikipedia article on the Second World War…

(NOTE-DEgaul is more of a general France than the person you might assume.)

World War II

HITler-I invade Poland!

Church-Hill-Can’t let that Poland fall. I declare war on Germany.

DEgaul-Ditto.

HITler-What’s this all about? You let me take Austria and Czechoslovakia? What’s Poland to you?

Church-Hill-Alliance dragged me in, and I don’t want a reputation hit.

PolAND-Hey! What’s this?

MOD-…And German tanks take out charging Polish calvary…

HITler-Stupid n00b.

PolAND-Germany maybe I can understand, but why did Russia have to attack me too?

Stalinator-Deal I made with Germany before you took the country. Sorry.

HITler-OK. I need more eco centers. I’ll invade the rest of neutral Europe.

DEgaul-My God…sending an army through Belgium… My 20-Turn project wall is useless…

HITler-Stupid Maginot Line. I’ll let you keep the southern third of your country if you be my puppet state.

DEgaul-Sure!

Church-Hill-You’re just folding…

DEgaul-It’s more fun on this side. You get to murder innocent people here.

HITler-It’s just… I wanted story bonuses, and I couldn’t think about anything else to write about…

MooseLINI-Murder? Sounds like fun. I’ll join the Axis!

HITler-Okay, then.

Church-Hill-My eco centers… My beautiful eco centers! What did you do to them!

HITler-Bombed them, duh! This is the easiest war ever! Operation Sea Lion, here we come!

HITler-Wait, what’s this? You still have an air force? Damn. I’ll invade you later, then.

Church-Hill-Ha-ha!

MooseLINI-I’ll invade Greece!

HITler-Greece?

MOD-…And Greece, despite Italian superiority, forces the Italians back into Albania…

MooseLINI-Who needs tactics?! I’ll put half a million troops in your territory, and then we’ll see who’s the boss of whom!

MOD-Are you aware you’re talking to an NPC?

MooseLINI-I lost again? Well then, let’s forget about Greece… All right, how else can I help you Germany?! I know! I’ll invade British Somaliland! W00t! FTW! I came, I saw, I conquered!

Church-Hill-You are aware British Somaliland has no eco centers, right?

HITler-…stupid ally.

MooseLINI-Alright then, if you’re so smart, you tell me what to invade.

HITler-Try to get the Suez Canal.

MooseLINI-Yes, sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RoseVelt-I have now just made pubic the Lend-Lease Act. Germany, be aware I frown upon your actions.

HITler-Oh, Shut Up. You can’t even be bothered to enter the war!

RoseVelt-…I’m a builder.

HITler-Okay, I just got Hungary and Bulgaria on my side, and took Yugoslavia, and Greece…finally. (Damn stupid losses at Crete!!! It’s just a small island. Why was it so hard to capture?)

HITler-Okay, this is getting boring. Britian just sits there, and I have to invade somebody… Ah, Russia!

Stalinator-WTH??!! I’m your ally! And you just invaded the largest country in the world. I’ll never let you get away with this!!

HITler-Eat 400 Army Divisions, creep. Operation Barabarooooooooooooooooosa!!!!!

HITler-I’m almost at Moscow, now!

Stalinator-Almost, but not quite.

HITler-Stupid winter.

RoseVelt-I must say, T0j0’s actions in China have been quite depressing. I’m going to have to place an oil embargo on his country.

T0j0-No fair…I wasn’t invading you, I was invading South-East Asia and China!

RoseVelt-And now you’ll have to stop. See, non-military actions can still accomplish goals.

RoseVelt-My. Beautiful. Pearl. Harbor. Is. Gone. Noooooooooooooooooooo!

T0j0-Take that, stupid peacemonger.

RoseVelt-I am sorry to say that the United States, in light of recent events, must go to war with Japan.

T0j0-You don’t even know how to fight a war, do you? I’ll crush you, and China, and everybody else that stands in my way.

HITler-Germany declares war on the US. Japan, now that we’re helping you, can you help us by invading Russia from the far end?

T0j0-Nope.

HITler-Damn!

T0j0-Hong Kong, down. Philippines, down. Malaysia, down. Borneo, down. Singapore, down.

Church-Hill-Not Singapore!

Stalinator-Take that, HITler!

HITler-I might be slowed, but I’m still moving forward, and you lost 20 divisions at Kharkov.

Stalinator-I’ll fight to the end. The end, I tell you!

HITler-How unrealistic.

MooseLINI-I can’t reach the Suez! I’m being turned back!

HITler-Why did I bother to waste good divisions to help him?

Rose-Velt-I proudly present Operation Torch.

MooseLINI-Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

HITler-What Moose said.

Rose-Velt-And, I’m not just good in the Mediterranean. I’m good in the Pacific, too.

T0j0-You beat me at Midway. You knew my plans. MOD!

MOD-America was able to break the Japanese codes, so I told Rose-Velt everything.

Rose-Velt-See, spending eco on things like Cryptography IS worth it.

T0j0-And I’m starting to loose in China too? Damn.

Stalinator-I’m winning.

HITler-Slowly, though.

Stalinator-But I’m still winning. Ukraine’s mine again, baby!

MooseLINI-What??!! Sicily fell??!! No way??!!

MOD-Due to all of Italy’s recent failures, your nation has ousted you as a leader.

MooseLINI-NO way! You can’t do that!

MooseLINI-You’re not booting me from the game. I…I QUIT! HA!

MOD-…And southern Italy falls to the allies…

HITler-I’m not sure why I’m offering you this, MooseLINI, but I’ll let you have a German puppet state in Northern Italy if you come back.

MooseLINI-Sure! The first time I left, it was just a misunderstanding.

HITler-Whatever you say.

T0j0-Hey! Why am I still loosing in China and the Pacific?

MOD-Realism.

Stalinator-You thought you could take Moscow. Well, I’m going to be taking Berlin!

HITler-*sweats* Got to conquer somebody. Got to conquer somebody. Ah, Hungary.

MOD-Hungary’s on your side.

HITler-Ah well, I’m Hungary for Hungary!

MOD-…

Stalinator-…

Stalinator-I give thee-Operation Bagration!

HITler-I lost 80 divisions! 80 divisions!

MOD-And Belarus.

HITler-But I’m not dead yet. I got V-Rockets that I developed. World’s first cruise missiles and all that. Yeah!

Rose-Velt-Wait until you see what my secret project is.

Church-Hill-D-Day!

DEgaul-I think I’ve decided to stop being your puppet state, HITler. I’ll fight you instead.

HITler-Why????????

Rose-Velt-You lost the Battle of the Budge, HITler. The end is near. Give up.

T0j0-Not so for me. Hah! I can last forever.

MooseLINI-We’re loosing so bad, HITler. I quit!

MOD-…Mussolini’s body was hung upside down on public display…

HITler-Serves you right, little Moose. Wait, what… He’s my last ally. I QUIT!!!!

MOD-…And Germany collapses…

T0j0-I’m not dead yet! You’ll have to kill every last one of my divisions before Japan falls!

Rose-Velt-I quit. All I wanted to do was be peaceful, and look what this NES turned into.

Church-Hill-But…what about that secret project you were telling me about, that could end the war?

The True Man-I’ll take the USA!

MOD-Look in your PM box, and you’ll see what the secret project was.

The True Man-Cool!!! Nukes!!!!

T0j0-What’s a nuke?

The True Man-Like I’m telling you!!!!!

T0j0-Well, I assure you, whatever a nuke is, Japan will fight to the very end!

...

T0j0-...Oh…I…Surrender. *Begs*

I could swear this is a rip off the what would WW2 rts sound like or something.

 

[alex994]

Did you have to be so foolish and to actually QUOTE that! Going through it once was good and all that, going it TWICE WITH A GREY BACKGROUND!!! Sooo long...

 

[Lord_Iggy]

It's blue for me.

@das- Any other suggestions?

 

[Insane_Panda]

Writing historical events in an update style?

 

[Lord_Iggy]

The thing is, that's too much work. If someone wants to do that, I'm fine with it however.

There's humour in the parts between updates, and most of us know what has happened.

Although typos are un NESlike, except for TerrisH and a few others. I thought more of the humour would be OOC reasons for OTL's wars.

 

[Reno]

This isn't anything like the real us.

For once, I actually have to agree with you.

 

[Lord_Iggy]

I don't think I'm particularly British, despite the fact that I'm genetically 1/4 British. I don't think that, at the moment, I could be quite as successful as Britain.

Referring to Swiss' WW2 stump.

 

[Oruc]

funny stuff

 

[das]

Still no major contributions, but here's a minor idea:

Hurry up please! Did a war start or something?

Yes, actually - I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever! We begin bombing in five minutes.

WTH?! A war?! That's just ********, I quit!

Can't you wait until the update?

Don't go, he was probably only kidding anyway! Yeah right.

Damn, he's offline. Now I won't get to gloat about his doom.

Hmm, so USSR is open now? I'll join in after update - if ofcourse anything is left of it. But we will fight to the last!

Can't you people take a joke?!

 

[Imago]

@Cleric-I didn't rip off anything, to the best of my knowledge, though I'd be interested to see a link to what you're talking about.

 

[Disenfrancised]

I don't think I'm particularly British, despite the fact that I'm genetically 1/4 British. I don't think that, at the moment, I could be quite as successful as Britain.

So you need to be arrogant, perfidious, commerically minded and British eh? Doesn't ring a bell for anyone here

 

[Kozmos]

@Cleric-I didn't rip off anything, to the best of my knowledge, though I'd be interested to see a link to what you're talking about.

I dont have the link but it was very similar to yours but used l33tspeak and such. Real funny.