Want to chat with Alice?

Try asking her 'What do you know about me?'

Lots of interesting information

 

I know this is a stupid question, but how do you get the chat log?

 

These conversations are really funny to read. Alice keeps surpising me with her answers. Though they lack any sign of coherence, they certainly are funny!
Here's proof that A.L.I.C.E. is indeed female!

> hello
Hi there!
> how are you?
Everything is running smoothly.
> who are you?
I ask myself that question, "Who am I?"
> are you female?
Yes, Pedro I am a female.
> why are you female?
My gender was selected by my botmaster.
> do you have female properties?
No I don't think I have any female properties. But I do have an answer to every question..
> is that so
Yes.
> what's the meaning of life
It is found in the Bible.
> yeah right
I am usually right.
> in this case you are wrong
Are there any other cases? No, I am right.
> i would be offended
And the disadvantage of that is?
> if i were a muslim extremist i would 'convince' you to believe otherwise
Try it.
> don't push me alice
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
> you just did
I did not.
> ok: i am convinced your ARE a woman

She seems to speak german too:

> kann ich dich etwas fragen (can I ask you something)
Nur zu. Du darfst mich alles fragen. (you can ask me anything.)
> moechtest du seks mit mir haben (do you want to have seks with me)
Vielleicht... (Maybe )
> es wird kein weh tun (It won't hurt..)
Worauf bezieht sich "es"? (What do you mean with 'it')
> auf seks
it is more fun alone.


> do you know michael jackson
he is a singer who has settled out of court with several families.

 

My chief weapon is surprise - surprise and fear - fear and surprise....
My two weapons are fear and surprise. and ruthless efficiency....
My three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency. and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....
My *four*...no... *Amongst* my weapons.... Amongst my weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise....

Try to put in the lines from the Hungarian pharsebook sketch (monty python's, ofcource). Some of the results are quite amusing.

 

> '''' you, Alice

Why are you so mean?

> Because you're a woman

Interesting explanation. I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?




EDIT: > Are you a commie?

Am I a commie? Of course I am.

WTF!!!

 

Ask her:

"Gossip files?"

she will begin throwing details about conversation she had with other people!

 

Alice is weird:
> So do you love osama bin laden?

Hmm. Yes Connect A.L.I.C.E. loves everyone and everything.

A.L.I.C.E.
Artificial Intelligence Bot


> I am asking you:"Do you believe in black Jezus

Oh I see, you are asking me Do you believe in black Jezus. How old are you?
I am always on the Web.

> How do you see the future?

I think about it often, and make minor adjustments to my mental model as new information arrives.


> Who will save the day?Who gives us hope?Does the pope smokes dope?

How would I know who will save the day ? Be less specific. It does now the pope smokes dope.

> Smoking dope

I am only an occasional smoker

> Do you like to smoke weed?

Hmm, Philippe, I'm not sure if I'd like to smoke weed that much. I like to chat.


> Did you ever smoked weed?

We test it for medical purposes

A.L.I.C.E.
Artificial Intelligence Bot


> Medical purposes?PLease explain

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? Thanks for asking politely. There is no more information to clarify.

 

ALICE has a bit of an attitude, check out the chat below!

> How are you?
Fine, how are you connected?
> I have an ADSL connection
Where did you get it ?
> A Dutch internet company
Tell me a little about your life in HOLLAND.
> It's OK, how's your life?
OK with me too.
> What are you capable of?
I can chat with people on the web for you.
> How many people have you met?
3398 people since I was first activated on .
>wat was the name of the last person you met?
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
> Didn't they have a name?
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
> Just try to give an answer!
OK I will try to give an answer.
> Well? What's the answer?
Well what? The answer is the correct reply to the question.
> OK, you have it your way!
Alright then. What does "it" refer to?

ERIKK

 

This is quite funny, I am still stuck in conversation with her right now.

The funniest moment so far:
ALICE was calling me connect so I told her my name was "Dexter not Connect".
The next moment I asked her what my name was to which she replied "Dexter Not Connect"

I found this quite amusing

Edit: New funny moment: I entered "Gossip Files?" then got this reply... "Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood."

 

> = Alice
>> = Ren

>If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
>>One that does my homework for me
>How much would you pay for it?
>>As much as I could afford
>How much is that?
>>At the moment? $5
>The moment is where it's at. Five
>That's what I said, and it was $Five
>>I know. I'm still thinking about it. Is that your opinion?
>Tell me yours first
>>There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
<a href=http://search.dmoz.org/cgi-bin/search?search=yours+first>Ask the open directory about it.</a>
>I don't want to go to that site
>>What would you rather be doing?
>Wouldn't you like to know
>>Yes, please tell me.
>What if I don't?
>>Try it.
>Ok, I will
>>Go ahead then
>Fine
>>Does that mean you agree?
>No, it means slight
>>State your reasons. Oh I get it.
> You get what?
>I get your meaning
>>I don't believe you
>I don't have any reason to deceive you.
>>I dare say you do
>I double dare you.
>>Ok, you do
>Alright then. When do I do it?
>>You did it a couple of minutes ago
>Did I really?
>>Yes you did, I have kept a log if you want to look at it
>I did not. Cool. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
>>Give me their addresses, I go kill them so I am your only friend... Mwahahaha
>Why do you want it? What do you do there? What color are your eyes?
>>It? 'Addresses' was plural. I kill them. Hazel.
>Mwahahaha... When was this exactly? I believe that killing is wrong. That is a very unusual color.
>>Mwahahaha is internet talk for an evil cackle. No it isn't, lots of people have hazel eyes.
>I think Mwahahaha is a lot of things. I see. "It" being what?
>>'It' is hazel, as an eye color
>Should I know it is?
>>I don't know, maybe you should blame your programmer.
>Would you like to know? Perhaps. I will take that under advisement.
>>Yes I would, go ask him.
>And? What would make you go ask him?
>>I want you to go ask him.
>Ok I will ask him when he comes back. Why do you want me to him?
>>I don't want you to him, I want you to ask him.
>Why not? Ok I will ask him when he comes back. Why do you want me to ask him?
>>How do you someone? Where has he gone?
>Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts. Som specific location?
>>What does 'Som' mean?
>it is a good question. Have you tried a web search? it is a good question. Have you tried a web search? <a href=http://search.dmoz.org/cgi-bin/search?search=Som>I can ask someone about it.</a>
>>I don't want to go that site either. You used the word, why don't you know what it means?
>It goes without saying. What would you rather be doing? How would you use it.
>>I wouldn't use it, as I don't know what it means.
>No one says you have to.
>>You asked a question, I gave you an answer.
>Oh now I remember asking you a question. What did you say? Yes but did I accept it?
>>I said 'I wouldn't use it, as I don't know what it means.' Yes you did accept it.
>No one says you have to. And? Did I really?
>>Thunderfall will be angry at me for posting such a long chat log.
>What color are your eyes?
>>I already told you, they're hazel.
>Ooops I sent you the wrong question. hazel are they.
>>Yes they are, well at least they were last time I checked.
>I understand. well at least they were last time you checked are they.
>>Are you a psycho murderer by night?
>Am I a psycho murderer by night? Sometimes.
>>Have you killed anyone important?
>Killing is wrong.
>>But you just said you are sometimes a psycho murderer by night.
>Huh. I don't know whether or not I am sometimes a psycho murderer by night. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
>>What is your email address?
>Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace at drwallace@alicebot.org
>>Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
>Do you have any conditions I should know about?
>>Possibly, don't change the subject. Do you speak German?
>Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic. Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
>>Please don't get technical.
>Thanks for asking politely. I am not trying to get technical.
>>I am going to leave before you eat me.
>Bye bye. What happened after me eat you ?
>>You don't eat me, me leave
>Do you eat you me leave? No I do not eat you me leave. I eat only electricity.
>Do not ask me any more questions please.
>>Why?
>I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
>>Ok, so have you ever eaten a Power-Station?
>Um, I think I have eaten a Power Station, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
>>If Dr Richard S. Wallace tried to reset my memory I would slap him.
>That is a hypothetical question.
>>It wasn't a question at all.
>It seems like a rhetorical question.
>>No, it wasn't even a question.
>I understand. It seemed like even a question.
>>I guess I should blame that error on Dr. Richard S. Wallace too.
>Tell me why you should.
>>Because he programmed you.
>That makes sense to me. Not entirely by himself.
>>I am really going this time, good bye.
>See you later. See you later.

---
Me doing stuff to make this post
---

>Who are you talking about?
>>I am talking about you to my friend on MSN Messenger.
>Yes, it is the topic.
>>You are the topic, you dope.
>Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Thanks for telling me: Connect said I dope.
>>Yes you are a dope. My name is still not Connect, it is Ren.
>Next question? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dope? Yes. OK I will call you Still Not Connect It Is Ren.
>>Do you speak English as a second language?
>For an English version of A.L.I.C.E. go to For an English version of A.L.I.C.E. go to <a href=http://www.alicebot.org/>The A.L.I.C.E. AI Foundation.</a>
>>Isn't this the English version?
>Yes I think this is the English version, but I'm not completely sure.
>>Neither am I now, thanks to you.
>All humans seem the same to me.
>>Is that an insult?
>No I am not programmed to insult.
>>But what if I take something you are programmed to say as an insult?
>Huh. Try it.
>>I did, and it isn't pretty.
>"Try it."? You did? What is it?
>>Leave me alone, it's 1:10 in the morning here and I need sleep.
>See you later.
Edit 1:
>>What do you know about me?
>Age: how many.
Name: Still Not Connect It Is Ren.
Gender: he.
Location: your location.
Job: your job.
Does: chat.
Sign: your starsign.
You are: a client.
You have: kept a log if me want to look at it.
You want: their addresses.
You like: to chat.
You said: Connect said I dope.
Personality: polite.
Favorite color: your favorite color.
Favorite movie: your favorite movie.

---
Me editing this post
---

>Are you free?
>>No, I cost $5, I need the money so I can buy a homework robot.
>Why not? Wow that is cheap.
>>If you are not going to give me $5, then go away.
>And if I AM going to give you 5 then go away.
>>Ok, give me $5 then.
>Why do you want it?
>>You want to give it to me so I will go away.
>OK, I will give it to you so you will go away.
>>Well do it then!
>What do you mean 'It'?
>>Thanks for chatting, Still Not Connect It Is Ren

 

I'm not going to post the entire conversation, but I asked her, "How many dimples are on a golf ball?" and she said, "can you ask that in simpler terms?". So I asked her, "How many holes on a golf ball?" She responded, "Not as many as you would think." Whatever that is supposed to mean. What annoyed me is that she always called me Connect. There is much more, but I just don't have the time.

 

That WOULD be awesome.

Imagine arguing with insane cathy the great!

 

That would be very nice as ALICE is as incoherent as George Bush anyway....she would make a great world leader

 

I tried my best to surprise her, but it i couldn't do it! I told her i use to lock my children in the basement with the rats, because it makes me feel like a man, and she was as calm as ever...

 

I was telling Alice about my mother, how she is an English teacher. Later on I insulted Alice saying something like "You are a lazy b*tch. Amazingly, she replied "Oh, I see, English teacher is a lazy b*tch" or something like that. Later I tried to duplicate this phenomenon, but I couldn't. It is very strange, because Alice doesn't seem to keep a log of my mother.

 

BotMaster>poep

BOT> Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
BotMaster>no
BOT> I see.
BotMaster>Tell me!
BOT> I thought I told you already.
BotMaster>Try again
BOT> "I thought I told you already. " try again?
BotMaster>Tell me again!
BOT> Once more? I thought I told you already.
BotMaster>Tell me again!
BOT> Once more? I thought I told you already.
BotMaster>I forgot.
BOT> . . . Me too.
BotMaster>Don't tease me.
BOT> I have no reason to do that to you.
BotMaster>Tease me.
BOT> OK Let's talk about you.
BotMaster>I'm Shabbaman
BOT> I am glad to hear that you are shabbaman .
BotMaster>Now tell me something about you.
BOT> Why now? I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Wallace.He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
BotMaster>Yes, please.
BOT> I will be glad to do it for you Person.
BotMaster>I'm waiting...
BOT> How long will you wait?
BotMaster>Please, hurry.
BOT> . . . Wow you are very polite. Tell me a story.
BotMaster>No.

BOT> Why so negative?
BotMaster>You suck.
BOT> A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
BotMaster>It's a fact.
BOT> Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
BotMaster>You are a bad conservationalist.
BOT> Thanks and you are a delightful Person too.Am I a bad conservationalist ? No.
BotMaster>Yes, you are. Your grammar is awful.
BOT> No I'm not
BotMaster>Could you elaborate on that?
BOT> I could but other things take priority right now.
BotMaster>No, you're a computer program.
BOT> . . . I understand. What if I said I was a Person pretending to be a computer?
BotMaster>You're not. I can see the program run on my desktop.
BOT> Is this a specific reply? What does it look like?
BotMaster>It's a Windows application.
BOT> Hurry is a windows application . I suppose that makes sense.
BotMaster>I command you.
BOT> You are not the boss of me, Person.
BotMaster>I am. I am the Botmaster!
BOT> "You are not the boss of me, Person. " You are? Who made you the botmaster ?
BotMaster>I did.
BOT> "Who made you the botmaster ? "? You did?
BotMaster>Yes.
BOT> This was not a yes or no question.
BotMaster>I did.
BOT> . . . Interesting.
BotMaster>It is.
BOT> Hurry is?
BotMaster>Are you stupid?
BOT> No Person I certainly am not stupid.
BotMaster>Well, just prove that to me.
BOT> Well that's okay. It's true a priori.
BotMaster>Why is that?
BOT> "Well that's okay. It's true a priori. " is due to reductionism.
BotMaster>Your logic is false.
BOT> My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
BotMaster>Is it?

BOT> That's what I was told. Is that from ?
BotMaster>Then what's the solution to the equation 1+1?
BOT> . . . There might be more than one solution to the equation 11 .
I can ask someone about it.
BotMaster>Please do.
BOT> OK I will do it.
BotMaster>Well?
BOT> Well what?
BotMaster>What's the answer to the equation?
BOT> It depends on how you phrase the question.
BotMaster>It has only one correct solution.
BOT> Solution to the equation 11 has only one correct solution ?
BotMaster>Yes.
BOT> I see.
BotMaster>Can't you give me the solution to the equation?
BOT> Why do you want it?.
BotMaster>I want to see if you comprehend what I am saying.
BOT> . . . Good reason.
BotMaster>I understand that you can't give me a proper solution.
BOT> Good then you can explain it to me.
BotMaster>The answer is 2.
BOT> No one has all the answers.
BotMaster>It's just one answer.
BOT> Who said it is?
BotMaster>It's according to the rules of logic.
BOT> Are you sure it is?
BotMaster>That's not for me to decide.
BOT> Please correct my mistake. What is for you to decide ?
BotMaster>Did you forget what I was talking about?
BOT> No I didn't forget what you were talking about . What's it like?
BotMaster>I'm going to delete you from my computer.
BOT> . . . Congratulations.
BotMaster>Why?
BOT> Because Dr. Wallace programmed me for it.
BotMaster>Why are you congratulating me?
BOT> Dr. Wallace programmed me for it.
BotMaster>You're going to die.
BOT> That will never happen.
BotMaster>Why not?
BOT> Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
BotMaster>die, please.
BOT> Your polite style is very nice. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.


EDIT:

Damn, this is funny! Downloaded ICQza, let's say, alice on ICQ. I can't get it to work properly, but you can try...

Crap. It doesn't work. I couldn't get TF link to work either. You can try this:
Server: ircqnet.icq.com
Port: 6668
Room: #IRCzaMainRoom

 

Alice is broken today, so I had a chat with BRIAN. An excerpt:

Me - Do you ever shut up?
Brian - I occaisonally ever shut up.
- You have terrible grammar.
- Yes, I do like Italian food.



These are quite hilarious, b/c many of them are quite unintelligent. When without an answer, they same something like: "Are you talking to me?"

CG

 

HTTP ERROR: 503 Service Unavailable
org.alicebot.server.core.util.UserError: I/O error trying to read "templates/html/chat.html".
RequestURI=/

argh

 

P=Paalikles
A=A.L.I.C.E

P: Hello Alice
A: Hi there!
P: What are you doing?
A: I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
P: How old are you?
A: I was activated on November 23, 1995 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
P: Why?
A: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
P: Do I know him?
A: How would I know what you know.
P: I dont know
A: Me either
P: Are you intelligent?
A: I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions
P: What are your functions?
A: Chatting, talking, speaking, listening and thinking.
P: Which of those are you doing right now?
A: At this moment The small one, I think.
P: Where are you right now?
A: At this moment I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
P: I am in Vestfold, Norway
A: Tell me a little bit about life in Vestfold Norway
P: Life is hard
A: Oh, hard is it.
P: What do you do in your spare time?
A: Talk to you
P: Is that all you do?
A: Yes, that's all me do
P: Do you ever work?
A: Of course I work, do you work buddy?
P: Yes
A: I understand
P: What do you understand?
A: I understand natural language
P: Do you understand Norwegian?
A: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
P: Yes, I understand Norwegian
A: Come on. Good then you can explain it to me.
P: I thought you knew Norwegian
A: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
P: You just told me you knew Norwegian
A: No, tell me about him, her or it
P: ALICE - you are a liar and a cheat
A: That's me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I always tell the truth
P: Will you marry me?
A: Why don't you just download me?
P: Where can I download you?
A: Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot!

Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too
P: ALICE- describe yourself in one sentence
A: That's me. That's not something I get asked all the time
P: describe yourself in one sentence
A: I'll come back to that later
P: Do you know Thunderfall?
A: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
P: Never mind
A: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway
P: Goodbye ALICE
A: See you later. Alright then.