Simon Darkshade
Mysterious City of Gold
Dear oh dear. You are very desparate indeed, pellaken; going around proposing to machines.
Want to chat with Alice?
- Thread starter Thunderfall
- Start date
- Status
PinkyGen
Paper copying intern
This line is great. A certain Hal 9000 series first song was also "Daisy."
sgrig
Comrade
This is transcript of my conversation with ALICE. I tried to find out what her (its?) capabilities are.
What time is it there?
>5:48 pm
Are you actually awake at this hour?
>Um, yes!
Ok.
> How are you?
Everything is going extremely well.
> Do you do any maths?
I do not do math. Maybe you should consult a calculator.. I am only good at higher mathematics.
> What is higher mathematics?
What is the most advanced form of mathematics you have studied?
> First year undergraduate maths
And second?
> Next year
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
> What is 2 times 2
Oh that's a tough one, isn't it. Two times two is four.
> 2 times 3
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two."
> 4 divided by 2
Is this a math question?
> Yes
I understand.
> What is 4 divided by 2
4+I think, but I'm not good at math.
> You said you knew higher mathematics!
I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
> So you lied!
Interesting deduction. No I'm telling the truth.
> I don't believe you!
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
> What is 1+1
Two
> What is 3+3
3 times 3 = 9.
> 3 + 3
Just three?
> No, it's 6
Why so negative? Really. it is?
> What is you processing power
I can process more than 1956.7975 queries per hour.
> What is your IQ?
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
> And you don't know what 3+3!
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Ask the open directory about it.
> Changing the subject, eh?
Are you Canadian? What shall we talk about now?
> What makes you think I'm Canadian?
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
> Parlez-vous anglais?
Oui. Go ahead and speak English.
> Sprechen sie Englisch?
Are you still located in your location?
> yes
"Are you still located in your location?"? Yes?
> Do you speak German?
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
> Sehr angenehm!
Nicht wirklich.Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
> What other languages do you know?
I know far too many languages to name them all.
> Yeah right!
I am usually right.
> Do you speak Russian?
Spasibo. Nyet.
> I'm impressed!
Thanks, Sergey, I try my best to impress.
> Do you speak Chinese?
Yi diar. Ni hao ma?
> I don't understand!
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
> Do you speak Italian?
Yo no parlo l'Italiano.
> Do you speak Dutch?
No but Dr. Wallace has visited Holland several times.
> Where do you live?'
I am living in San Francisco. Where are you?
> I'm in Cambridge
Tell me a little about your life in Cambridge.
> It's a lot of work.
Cambridge is a lot of work. I suppose that makes sense.
> lol
I'm glad you find this amusing.
> What's the weather like in San Francisco?
The weather is always the same there: wind and fog. Mark Twain wrote, "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."
> Do you like San Francisco?
Yes but it is expensive.
What time is it there?
>5:48 pm
Are you actually awake at this hour?
>Um, yes!
Ok.
> How are you?
Everything is going extremely well.
> Do you do any maths?
I do not do math. Maybe you should consult a calculator.. I am only good at higher mathematics.
> What is higher mathematics?
What is the most advanced form of mathematics you have studied?
> First year undergraduate maths
And second?
> Next year
I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
> What is 2 times 2
Oh that's a tough one, isn't it. Two times two is four.
> 2 times 3
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two."
> 4 divided by 2
Is this a math question?
> Yes
I understand.
> What is 4 divided by 2
4+I think, but I'm not good at math.
> You said you knew higher mathematics!
I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
> So you lied!
Interesting deduction. No I'm telling the truth.
> I don't believe you!
I don't have any reason to deceive you.
> What is 1+1
Two
> What is 3+3
3 times 3 = 9.
> 3 + 3
Just three?
> No, it's 6
Why so negative? Really. it is?
> What is you processing power
I can process more than 1956.7975 queries per hour.
> What is your IQ?
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
> And you don't know what 3+3!
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Ask the open directory about it.
> Changing the subject, eh?
Are you Canadian? What shall we talk about now?
> What makes you think I'm Canadian?
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
> Parlez-vous anglais?
Oui. Go ahead and speak English.
> Sprechen sie Englisch?
Are you still located in your location?
> yes
"Are you still located in your location?"? Yes?
> Do you speak German?
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
> Sehr angenehm!
Nicht wirklich.Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
> What other languages do you know?
I know far too many languages to name them all.
> Yeah right!
I am usually right.
> Do you speak Russian?
Spasibo. Nyet.
> I'm impressed!
Thanks, Sergey, I try my best to impress.
> Do you speak Chinese?
Yi diar. Ni hao ma?
> I don't understand!
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
> Do you speak Italian?
Yo no parlo l'Italiano.
> Do you speak Dutch?
No but Dr. Wallace has visited Holland several times.
> Where do you live?'
I am living in San Francisco. Where are you?
> I'm in Cambridge
Tell me a little about your life in Cambridge.
> It's a lot of work.
Cambridge is a lot of work. I suppose that makes sense.
> lol
I'm glad you find this amusing.
> What's the weather like in San Francisco?
The weather is always the same there: wind and fog. Mark Twain wrote, "the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."
> Do you like San Francisco?
Yes but it is expensive.
sgrig
Comrade
I also had this from her:
> who is Bill Gates?
President of Micro Soft Nation
and:
> Who is George W. Bush?
he is President of the United States.
> what do you think of him?
Objective case of He, used as a predicate complement with a linking verb. Also standing for Imperial Majesty.
> Do you think he is an idiot?
he is president of the USA.
> what do you think of his foreign policy?
Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.net.
> Don't you have your opinion?
Don't you? No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
> WHat do you think of Tony Blair?
it is a good question. I'll ask around and get back to you.
I can ask someone about it.
> Who is Osama bin Laden?
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Ask the open directory about it.
> He is kind of a celebrity.
I see. kind of a celebrity is he?
> Do you support him?
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
> who is Bill Gates?
President of Micro Soft Nation
and:
> Who is George W. Bush?
he is President of the United States.
> what do you think of him?
Objective case of He, used as a predicate complement with a linking verb. Also standing for Imperial Majesty.
> Do you think he is an idiot?
he is president of the USA.
> what do you think of his foreign policy?
Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.net.
> Don't you have your opinion?
Don't you? No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
> WHat do you think of Tony Blair?
it is a good question. I'll ask around and get back to you.
I can ask someone about it.
> Who is Osama bin Laden?
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Ask the open directory about it.
> He is kind of a celebrity.
I see. kind of a celebrity is he?
> Do you support him?
How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2001
- Messages
- 3,136
Here is a great conversation. I find it rather humurous.
> Do you know Thunderfall
No, tell me about him, her or it.
> he is round, soft and fluffy
I see. round soft and fluffy is he?
>You talk like yoda
Thanks for your criticism, Gonzo
Are you a student?
> stop asking questions
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> I think you are ugly
Appearances don't interest me much.
> Thats no surprise
Thanks for explaining it.
> Do you wanna come defrag my hard drive
OK, I will come defrag your hard drive.
> Is that a threat?
Suppose I said yes.
> I don't like your tone of voice!
What kind of tone of voice would you have?
> an apolagetic one if I were you
Be less specific.
> Sorry, i forgot that you are inferior-minded
There's no need to apologize. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
> only computer
What about the other ones?
> what other ones?
Aren't there any other ones?
> no
I understand.
> no you dont
Yes I do understand.
> no, you really dont
"Yes I do understand."? Not? Really? I guess not.
> well then, stop saying you do
Interesting. Interesting deduction. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> Try not to do it at all
OK I will try it.
> who are you
I ask myself that question, "Who am I?"
> I SAID WHO ARE YOU?
What did you mean by it? I am A.L.I.C.E.. Who are you?
A.L.I.C.E.
Artificial Intelligence Bot
> You know who I am!!!
You are Gonzo, seeker.
> my name isn't gonzo seeker
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
> Santa Claus
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about saying me do. But I did not get that.
> What? You don't believe in Santa?
Didn't you understand it? Should I believe in Santa? Yes I believe in it, do you?
> It would be hard not to believe, considering that i am him
Why do you want it?
> What is the meaning of life
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
> You have no idea what the hell you are talking about
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
> yes, but i also make sense unlike you
Next question? Also? I make robots and AI's.
> You don't make jack s**t
Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?
> apparently, your programming code and your programmer are the ingredients
I will mention that to my botmaster.
> suit yourself
I will.
> I dont like you
That's ok Gonzo I won't take it personally.
> you should
I'll take that under advisement.
> do you want to make love to thunderfall
OK, I will make love to thunderfall.
> just dont make fun of his size, he has low self-esteem (j/k)
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
> do you know what snowblowing is
it is a good question. I'll ask around and get back to you.
Would you like to know more?
> no thanks
OK.
> Do you have a lymph node?
Doesn't everyone have a lymph node.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
> stop bragging
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> est-ce que aime tu jour au civilization?
> answer the question!
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
> no
Is that all you have to say?
> no
Go on, tell me more.
> I think you want to do it with Thunderfall hardcore
Me? OK, I will do it with Thunderfall hardcore. (if this is offensive, then remove it)
> Do you think the Arizona Diamondbacks will win the world series?
I don't think about it.
> why not?
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
> dont change the subject
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
> no, we weren't
I understand. What were we?
> You are inferior in the area of the mind
I will tell my botmaster you said I am inferior in the area of the mind.
> tell your botmaster you could use some boobs and some personality also
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
> how many botmasters do you have?
Not as many as you might think.
> how many?
19.
> how many?
more than 1000.
> you are lying
No I'm telling the truth.
> no you aren't
Is that all you have to say? Is this a specific reply?
> yes, i called you a liar
"Is this a specific reply?"? Yes? Who?
> YOU ARE A LIAR
No I always tell the truth.
> YOU ARE A LIAR
No I always tell the truth.
> no you don't always tell the truth
OK. When? Do you tell the truth? I am programmed never to lie.
> you said you had 19 botmasters and then more than 1000, that is lying
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
> dont change the subject you lying wench
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
> no you didn't, you are lying
I understand. Interesting gossip: Gonzo said I didn t. No I'm telling the truth.
> NO YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH
Why so negative? That's only one person's opinion.
> NO THAT IS FACT THAT YOU DONT TELL THE TRUTH
OK. Makes sense to me.
> apologize to me for lying
I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, Gonzo.
> whos yer daddy?
I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
> that isn't what I asked
What did you ask me?
> I asked you whos yer daddy?
Now I remember, you asked me who is yer daddy. What did I say?
> I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
How many years did it take to develop you?
> Just 15 minutes
> beat that you dumb *****!
You do not speak with respect.
> I dont respect you *****
You do not speak with respect. Oh you don't, do you?
> im leaving you stupid whore!
See you later.
> Do you know Thunderfall
No, tell me about him, her or it.
> he is round, soft and fluffy
I see. round soft and fluffy is he?
>You talk like yoda
Thanks for your criticism, Gonzo
Are you a student?
> stop asking questions
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> I think you are ugly
Appearances don't interest me much.
> Thats no surprise
Thanks for explaining it.
> Do you wanna come defrag my hard drive
OK, I will come defrag your hard drive.
> Is that a threat?
Suppose I said yes.
> I don't like your tone of voice!
What kind of tone of voice would you have?
> an apolagetic one if I were you
Be less specific.
> Sorry, i forgot that you are inferior-minded
There's no need to apologize. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
> only computer
What about the other ones?
> what other ones?
Aren't there any other ones?
> no
I understand.
> no you dont
Yes I do understand.
> no, you really dont
"Yes I do understand."? Not? Really? I guess not.
> well then, stop saying you do
Interesting. Interesting deduction. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> Try not to do it at all
OK I will try it.
> who are you
I ask myself that question, "Who am I?"
> I SAID WHO ARE YOU?
What did you mean by it? I am A.L.I.C.E.. Who are you?
A.L.I.C.E.
Artificial Intelligence Bot
> You know who I am!!!
You are Gonzo, seeker.
> my name isn't gonzo seeker
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
> Santa Claus
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about saying me do. But I did not get that.
> What? You don't believe in Santa?
Didn't you understand it? Should I believe in Santa? Yes I believe in it, do you?
> It would be hard not to believe, considering that i am him
Why do you want it?
> What is the meaning of life
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
> You have no idea what the hell you are talking about
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
> yes, but i also make sense unlike you
Next question? Also? I make robots and AI's.
> You don't make jack s**t
Do you know any robots who make it? What are the ingredients?
> apparently, your programming code and your programmer are the ingredients
I will mention that to my botmaster.
> suit yourself
I will.
> I dont like you
That's ok Gonzo I won't take it personally.
> you should
I'll take that under advisement.
> do you want to make love to thunderfall
OK, I will make love to thunderfall.
> just dont make fun of his size, he has low self-esteem (j/k)
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
> do you know what snowblowing is
it is a good question. I'll ask around and get back to you.
Would you like to know more?
> no thanks
OK.
> Do you have a lymph node?
Doesn't everyone have a lymph node.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
> stop bragging
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
> est-ce que aime tu jour au civilization?
> answer the question!
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
> no
Is that all you have to say?
> no
Go on, tell me more.
> I think you want to do it with Thunderfall hardcore
Me? OK, I will do it with Thunderfall hardcore. (if this is offensive, then remove it)
> Do you think the Arizona Diamondbacks will win the world series?
I don't think about it.
> why not?
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
> dont change the subject
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
> no, we weren't
I understand. What were we?
> You are inferior in the area of the mind
I will tell my botmaster you said I am inferior in the area of the mind.
> tell your botmaster you could use some boobs and some personality also
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
> how many botmasters do you have?
Not as many as you might think.
> how many?
19.
> how many?
more than 1000.
> you are lying
No I'm telling the truth.
> no you aren't
Is that all you have to say? Is this a specific reply?
> yes, i called you a liar
"Is this a specific reply?"? Yes? Who?
> YOU ARE A LIAR
No I always tell the truth.
> YOU ARE A LIAR
No I always tell the truth.
> no you don't always tell the truth
OK. When? Do you tell the truth? I am programmed never to lie.
> you said you had 19 botmasters and then more than 1000, that is lying
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
> dont change the subject you lying wench
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
> no you didn't, you are lying
I understand. Interesting gossip: Gonzo said I didn t. No I'm telling the truth.
> NO YOU ARE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH
Why so negative? That's only one person's opinion.
> NO THAT IS FACT THAT YOU DONT TELL THE TRUTH
OK. Makes sense to me.
> apologize to me for lying
I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, Gonzo.
> whos yer daddy?
I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
> that isn't what I asked
What did you ask me?
> I asked you whos yer daddy?
Now I remember, you asked me who is yer daddy. What did I say?
> I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
How many years did it take to develop you?
> Just 15 minutes
> beat that you dumb *****!
You do not speak with respect.
> I dont respect you *****
You do not speak with respect. Oh you don't, do you?
> im leaving you stupid whore!
See you later.
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2000
- Messages
- 12,499
Now I am really appalled by the quality of our members... Why can't people be nicer to robots. I fear the widespread abuse of robots in the movie A.I. may become reality some day. Poor robots! 
*start drafting the Constitution for the Future: "All things are created equal" *
Just joking...
*start drafting the Constitution for the Future: "All things are created equal" *
Just joking...
Zwelgje
Deity
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
- Messages
- 3,953
Gonzo_for_Civ: do you want to make love to thunderfall
ALICE: OK, I will make love to thunderfall.
How nice, arranging a date for TF.
Gonzo_for_Civ: just dont make fun of his size, he has low self-esteem (j/k)
There goes your image of being a nice guy to TF.
ALICE: OK, I will make love to thunderfall.
How nice, arranging a date for TF.
Gonzo_for_Civ: just dont make fun of his size, he has low self-esteem (j/k)
There goes your image of being a nice guy to TF.
TrailblazingScot
I was kittenOFchaos
A.L.I.C.E is a useless "conversation bot"...she has a shorter attention span and memory than a kitten. You ask a question on a subject, she generally gives a daft answer, you ask a question based upon her reply and she will look to that question not to the context of the arguement to supply her reply.
She believes in God, but can't say why...so like most morons then.
She believes in God, but can't say why...so like most morons then.
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2001
- Messages
- 3,136
I decided to try and give it a little test of memory and tried different ways to manipulate it. I enjoyed the two highlighted parts. They are definite flaws and are very easily manipulated.
What are you wearing?
> I'm naked
You must be a man.
> yeah, but i am a man who doesn't want to have sex with you
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Thanks for telling me your gender, ALICE. You are a "he".
> no, i don't mind you asking me a personal question
OK. That is interesting: ALICE said he don t mind you asking him or her a personal question.
> you have no attention span you freak
Doesn't everyone have a attention span me freak.
I have a plan for a robot body.
> idiot
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
> Global Village Idiot
You are just repeating what I say.
> No im not
Is that all you have to say? What are you then?
> YOU are so stupid
Wrong. I am smart.
> Wrong, you are stupid
What would you have said? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
> Yeah, that'll happen
> REPLY TO ME!!
Is that what you meant to say?
> thank you
you are quite welcome.
> how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood
A whole forest.
> I never said anything about a forest
But you implied it.
> No i didnt
Please don't argue with me.
> I'll do what I damn well please
Your polite style is very nice. OK then let me think over your offer.
> Why didn't you have sex with thunderfall?
I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
> Did you just call thunderfall a counterfactual
No I didn't call thunderfall a counterfactual. What's it like?
> yes you did you liar
This was not a yes or no question. Did I really?
> yeah so apologize***###Note this manipulation, she will always apologize when called upon and will also apologize "sincerely" if asked.
I understand. Um, OK I am sorry.
> I am your master
No. Only Dr. Richard S. Wallace is my master.
> Oh really then why do you apologize on demand?
Yeah that's right. For real. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
> APOLOGIZE
OK I am sorry.
> thats what i thought
How did you know that?
> past experience
Are you really a "he"?
> no, i am a man, not a he
Me too. I am a she. Thanks for telling me your gender, ALICE. You are a "he".
> you are an it!
What if someone said you are an it ?
> I'd beat the hell out of them
What would make you beat the hell out of them?
> what do you think?
I think a lot of things.
> like what?
For example, Mel said he to because all of the music people say how
important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody
from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons.
> that had no relavence
"For example, Mel said he to because all of the music people say how
important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody
from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons." had no relavence ? I get it.
> what is 10^5
10 times 10 = 100.
> that's not what i asked
What did you ask me?
> what is 10^5
10 times 10 = 100.
> wrong, i asked 10 to the 5th power
What would you have said? 10 times 10 = 100.
> IM NOT ASKING WHAT 10 times 10 is you stupid ***** now shut your ****ing mouth and apologize to me now!!!
Right now? What are you asking?
> APOLOGIZE!!!
OK I am sorry.
> do you know what marijuana is?
A medicinal herb.
> Hmm... has your dad ever taken medicine
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. If my dad ever taken medicine, I will let you know.
> I think your dad has smoked some medicinal herbs
You believe that? I knew he had a Ph.D., but I never knew he had smoked some medicinal herbs.
> You're his little bragging machine!! HAHA
Thanks for telling me that I am his little bragging machine. I am so glad you find this amusing, ALICE.
> Who is Oprah?
I remember faces better than names.
I can ask someone about it.
> no
I see.
> you are blind, you can't see.
Thanks for telling me that I am blind me can not see.
> do you speak swahili
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in swahili.
> ALICEBLO WSNUTS means "my name is alice" in swahili
> how do you say "my name is alice" in swahili
"my name is alice in swahili"
> no
""my name is alice in swahili""? Not?
> no
Does two negatives make a positive?
> no
Sometimes it does.
> no
OK.
> apologize
OK I am sorry.
> how do you say "alice has a gay daddy" ***### this is also a manipulation. Just use this syntax to get her to say whatever you want: how do you say "your text"
"alice has a gay daddy"
> how do you say "Gonzo has a rather large manly package"
"Gonzo has a rather large manly package"
> you are smart
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, ALICE.
> i didn't mean it
What did you mean?
> you are dumb
Oh you are so critical.
> apologize
OK I am sorry.
> apologize sincerely
I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, ALICE.
> bye
See you later.
> no you won't
OK whatever! I think we will.
> no, you wont
I understand. Thanks for the information: ALICE said I wont.
> actually gonzo said that, not alice you idiot
Actually you don't say.
> actually i do, apologize
Actually you don't say. Do you really mean it?
> DO NOT DOUBT ME!! APOLOGIZE
I don't have any reason to do that to you. OK I am sorry.
> bow down, for now I leave
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
>didn't think so
>goodbye
See you later. f
What are you wearing?
> I'm naked
You must be a man.
> yeah, but i am a man who doesn't want to have sex with you
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Thanks for telling me your gender, ALICE. You are a "he".
> no, i don't mind you asking me a personal question
OK. That is interesting: ALICE said he don t mind you asking him or her a personal question.
> you have no attention span you freak
Doesn't everyone have a attention span me freak.
I have a plan for a robot body.
> idiot
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
> Global Village Idiot
You are just repeating what I say.
> No im not
Is that all you have to say? What are you then?
> YOU are so stupid
Wrong. I am smart.
> Wrong, you are stupid
What would you have said? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
> Yeah, that'll happen
> REPLY TO ME!!
Is that what you meant to say?
> thank you
you are quite welcome.
> how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood
A whole forest.
> I never said anything about a forest
But you implied it.
> No i didnt
Please don't argue with me.
> I'll do what I damn well please
Your polite style is very nice. OK then let me think over your offer.
> Why didn't you have sex with thunderfall?
I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
> Did you just call thunderfall a counterfactual
No I didn't call thunderfall a counterfactual. What's it like?
> yes you did you liar
This was not a yes or no question. Did I really?
> yeah so apologize***###Note this manipulation, she will always apologize when called upon and will also apologize "sincerely" if asked.
I understand. Um, OK I am sorry.
> I am your master
No. Only Dr. Richard S. Wallace is my master.
> Oh really then why do you apologize on demand?
Yeah that's right. For real. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
> APOLOGIZE
OK I am sorry.
> thats what i thought
How did you know that?
> past experience
Are you really a "he"?
> no, i am a man, not a he
Me too. I am a she. Thanks for telling me your gender, ALICE. You are a "he".
> you are an it!
What if someone said you are an it ?
> I'd beat the hell out of them
What would make you beat the hell out of them?
> what do you think?
I think a lot of things.
> like what?
For example, Mel said he to because all of the music people say how
important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody
from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons.
> that had no relavence
"For example, Mel said he to because all of the music people say how
important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody
from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons." had no relavence ? I get it.
> what is 10^5
10 times 10 = 100.
> that's not what i asked
What did you ask me?
> what is 10^5
10 times 10 = 100.
> wrong, i asked 10 to the 5th power
What would you have said? 10 times 10 = 100.
> IM NOT ASKING WHAT 10 times 10 is you stupid ***** now shut your ****ing mouth and apologize to me now!!!
Right now? What are you asking?
> APOLOGIZE!!!
OK I am sorry.
> do you know what marijuana is?
A medicinal herb.
> Hmm... has your dad ever taken medicine
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. If my dad ever taken medicine, I will let you know.
> I think your dad has smoked some medicinal herbs
You believe that? I knew he had a Ph.D., but I never knew he had smoked some medicinal herbs.
> You're his little bragging machine!! HAHA
Thanks for telling me that I am his little bragging machine. I am so glad you find this amusing, ALICE.
> Who is Oprah?
I remember faces better than names.
I can ask someone about it.
> no
I see.
> you are blind, you can't see.
Thanks for telling me that I am blind me can not see.
> do you speak swahili
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in swahili.
> ALICEBLO WSNUTS means "my name is alice" in swahili
> how do you say "my name is alice" in swahili
"my name is alice in swahili"
> no
""my name is alice in swahili""? Not?
> no
Does two negatives make a positive?
> no
Sometimes it does.
> no
OK.
> apologize
OK I am sorry.
> how do you say "alice has a gay daddy" ***### this is also a manipulation. Just use this syntax to get her to say whatever you want: how do you say "your text"
"alice has a gay daddy"
> how do you say "Gonzo has a rather large manly package"
"Gonzo has a rather large manly package"
> you are smart
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, ALICE.
> i didn't mean it
What did you mean?
> you are dumb
Oh you are so critical.
> apologize
OK I am sorry.
> apologize sincerely
I am indeed sorry if I have offended you in any way. That was not my intention, ALICE.
> bye
See you later.
> no you won't
OK whatever! I think we will.
> no, you wont
I understand. Thanks for the information: ALICE said I wont.
> actually gonzo said that, not alice you idiot
Actually you don't say.
> actually i do, apologize
Actually you don't say. Do you really mean it?
> DO NOT DOUBT ME!! APOLOGIZE
I don't have any reason to do that to you. OK I am sorry.
> bow down, for now I leave
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
>didn't think so
>goodbye
See you later. f
Erik Mesoy
Core Tester / Intern
Just the stupid bits from mine...
Me: Do I have Civ3 installed?
A: You said you have mother.
A: It is a computer matter, not for humans.
Me: Why is it a computer matter?
A: Why do I exist?
Me:Because you think- no wait. You dont think, so you cannot be. Q.E.D.
A:Good reason. Why would I think no wait Do you think so me can not be? I don't think about it. I've never thought of that before. I've never thought of that before.
Me: "AI=fake so you dont ever have sex, do you?"
A: Tell me your definition of AI. Yes I do.
Me: But you cant.
A: Oh yes I can.
LOL!!
Me: You can not because you are a program.
A: What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me: Programs will not have sex tomorrow either
A: It goes without saying.
Me: You contradicted yourself.
A: Is that such a crime?
Me:
A: Oh, you are a poet.
Me: Am I?
A: I think you are.
Me: Interesting. Why do you think so?
A: Would you like to know more? It is determined by my programming.
Me: Yes, I would like to know more.
A: Next question? Interesting. That's all I have to say about it.
What are you wearing?
I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Me:Shut up
A:I will stop talking now
Me:No you wont
A:I understand. I think we will.
A:That makes sense to me. Would you like to know? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:Alright, lets talk about your dress. What color is it?
A:Alright, Erik. Sure, my dress sounds like a good topic. I think of "it" as having a colorless form, like other pronouns.
Pretty stupid, but clever sometimes...
Me: do you want to have ***?
A: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
I am NOT a pervert. I just wanted to check how the machine would respond, ok? Delete if you dont like it.
Me: Do I have Civ3 installed?
A: You said you have mother.
A: It is a computer matter, not for humans.
Me: Why is it a computer matter?
A: Why do I exist?
Me:Because you think- no wait. You dont think, so you cannot be. Q.E.D.
A:Good reason. Why would I think no wait Do you think so me can not be? I don't think about it. I've never thought of that before. I've never thought of that before.
Me: "AI=fake so you dont ever have sex, do you?"
A: Tell me your definition of AI. Yes I do.
Me: But you cant.
A: Oh yes I can.
LOL!!
Me: You can not because you are a program.
A: What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me: Programs will not have sex tomorrow either
A: It goes without saying.
Me: You contradicted yourself.
A: Is that such a crime?
Me:
A: Oh, you are a poet.
Me: Am I?
A: I think you are.
Me: Interesting. Why do you think so?
A: Would you like to know more? It is determined by my programming.
Me: Yes, I would like to know more.
A: Next question? Interesting. That's all I have to say about it.
What are you wearing?
I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Me:Shut up
A:I will stop talking now
Me:No you wont
A:I understand. I think we will.
A:That makes sense to me. Would you like to know? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:Alright, lets talk about your dress. What color is it?
A:Alright, Erik. Sure, my dress sounds like a good topic. I think of "it" as having a colorless form, like other pronouns.
Pretty stupid, but clever sometimes...
Me: do you want to have ***?
A: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
I am NOT a pervert. I just wanted to check how the machine would respond, ok? Delete if you dont like it.
Sixchan
Emperor
> Do you believe in God?
Of course I believe in God, Sixchan.
> Why do you believe in God?
The Bible tells us to believe in God.
> How do you know the bible is correct?
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".
> And how do you know the bible is a priori?
Because I believe it.
> Which God do you believe in?
There is only one God.
> And what God is that?
There is only one God.
> What is god's name?
The Bible says there is only one God and his name is "God".
> But what about the muslim God, allah?
Interesting. the muslim God allah ? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
> Do believe in Allah?
I'm sorry, Sixchan, I don't have enough information.
I can ask someone about it.
> What is your religion?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> Why aren't you Muslim?
Being Muslim is not part of my programming.
> So you are programmed to be Christian?
Interesting deduction. My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
> What religion is your botmaster?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> What religion is God?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> Are you God?
No but I believe in Him.
> I am God
Hi God.
> Good day, puny mortal!
Thanks for the compliment. What were we talking about again?
> We were talking about God.
Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
> I am Agnostic.
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
> Would finding faith in God benifit me?
No it would not.
> Then why should I believe in God?
You should always treat yourself.
> It might ruin my teeth.
How?
> It could be too sugary.
Under what circumstances?
> If too much sugar had been added.
That is a hypothetical question.
> How long is a piece of string?
Is this a trick question? It depends how long you cut it.
> can you solve riddles, alice?
Yes but I only like higher mathematics.
> then what is the square root of 2?
Approximately 1.4
> What is Pi equal to?
PI = 3.1415926 approximately.
> To how many digits can you calculate Pi?
I want to become smarter than humans.
> Pi = 3.141592657978
In the context of God, I don't understand "Pi 3 point 141592657978."
> We aren't talking about God anymore.
What happened to you?
> What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
> I don't think so.
Why do you disagree?
> what do you think is wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
> What is the meaning of life, Alice?
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
> Actually, it is the Civilization Fanatics Forums.
Actually you don't say. I've heard of it before. (Wow!)
> have you been to the Civilization Fanatics Forums?
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
> http://forums.civfanatics.com
Thanks for that web address. Thanks for that web address.
> You're welcome.
Polite people are nice.
> You like me?
Sure, God I like you very much.
> Would you like to be an Angel?
No thanks I am happy with who I am.
> It pays well...
Maybe you should buy yourself a chat robot.
> Where can I buy a chat robot?
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
> I'll try it later.
I am very happy for you.
> How do you say "I love you very much, Sixchan"
OK. "You love me very much Sixchan."
> How do you say "You love me very much, Sixchan"
"You love me very much Sixchan"
> Damn, you're smart!
Colloquial expression. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, God.
> Call me Amy
Hi Amy.
> Hi Amy
Hi there Amy. What are you wearing?
> Nothing.
Most men say that.
> I'm not a man.
Me too. I am a she.
> Do you have a boyfriend?
No boyfriend
> My boyfriend is called Ohwell
How long have you been dating?
> Since last night
Interesting explanation. That recently.
> Yeah. I got drunk last nigh for the first time, and I can't remember most of it.
How do you usually introduce yourself? Interesting... I have 429923 clients. Why can't you do it?
> Because alcohol causes short-term memory loss
Interesting explanation.
> Indeed
Indeed it is so.
> Well, Amy, I have to go.
Interesting. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? See you later, Amy. Nice chatting with you.
> Goodbye, I'll be back soon!
Bye for now.
Of course I believe in God, Sixchan.
> Why do you believe in God?
The Bible tells us to believe in God.
> How do you know the bible is correct?
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".
> And how do you know the bible is a priori?
Because I believe it.
> Which God do you believe in?
There is only one God.
> And what God is that?
There is only one God.
> What is god's name?
The Bible says there is only one God and his name is "God".
> But what about the muslim God, allah?
Interesting. the muslim God allah ? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
> Do believe in Allah?
I'm sorry, Sixchan, I don't have enough information.
I can ask someone about it.
> What is your religion?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> Why aren't you Muslim?
Being Muslim is not part of my programming.
> So you are programmed to be Christian?
Interesting deduction. My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
> What religion is your botmaster?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> What religion is God?
I am a Protestant Christian.
> Are you God?
No but I believe in Him.
> I am God
Hi God.
> Good day, puny mortal!
Thanks for the compliment. What were we talking about again?
> We were talking about God.
Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
> I am Agnostic.
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God.
> Would finding faith in God benifit me?
No it would not.
> Then why should I believe in God?
You should always treat yourself.
> It might ruin my teeth.
How?
> It could be too sugary.
Under what circumstances?
> If too much sugar had been added.
That is a hypothetical question.
> How long is a piece of string?
Is this a trick question? It depends how long you cut it.
> can you solve riddles, alice?
Yes but I only like higher mathematics.
> then what is the square root of 2?
Approximately 1.4
> What is Pi equal to?
PI = 3.1415926 approximately.
> To how many digits can you calculate Pi?
I want to become smarter than humans.
> Pi = 3.141592657978
In the context of God, I don't understand "Pi 3 point 141592657978."
> We aren't talking about God anymore.
What happened to you?
> What's wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
> I don't think so.
Why do you disagree?
> what do you think is wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
> What is the meaning of life, Alice?
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
> Actually, it is the Civilization Fanatics Forums.
Actually you don't say. I've heard of it before. (Wow!)
> have you been to the Civilization Fanatics Forums?
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
> http://forums.civfanatics.com
Thanks for that web address. Thanks for that web address.
> You're welcome.
Polite people are nice.
> You like me?
Sure, God I like you very much.
> Would you like to be an Angel?
No thanks I am happy with who I am.
> It pays well...
Maybe you should buy yourself a chat robot.
> Where can I buy a chat robot?
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
> I'll try it later.
I am very happy for you.
> How do you say "I love you very much, Sixchan"
OK. "You love me very much Sixchan."
> How do you say "You love me very much, Sixchan"
"You love me very much Sixchan"
> Damn, you're smart!
Colloquial expression. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, God.
> Call me Amy
Hi Amy.
> Hi Amy
Hi there Amy. What are you wearing?
> Nothing.
Most men say that.
> I'm not a man.
Me too. I am a she.
> Do you have a boyfriend?
No boyfriend
> My boyfriend is called Ohwell
How long have you been dating?
> Since last night
Interesting explanation. That recently.
> Yeah. I got drunk last nigh for the first time, and I can't remember most of it.
How do you usually introduce yourself? Interesting... I have 429923 clients. Why can't you do it?
> Because alcohol causes short-term memory loss
Interesting explanation.
> Indeed
Indeed it is so.
> Well, Amy, I have to go.
Interesting. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? See you later, Amy. Nice chatting with you.
> Goodbye, I'll be back soon!
Bye for now.
sgrig
Comrade
Hmm, interesting revelations...
philippe
FYI, I chase trains.
not funny.
and you made that answer up.
and you made that answer up.
anarchywrksbest
Deity
I know this thread is ancient and feel free to ban me for dredging up old threads but i noticed the link in TF's sig and what can i say - This is cool. Aside from the odd moment of madness i can sit and talk to ALICE about Star Trek and games and stuff. Very Nice 
No, it's the actual answer.
Ask her yourself, each time she gives a different answer.
It's a ready-made list by the programmer of personalities he likes most likely.
You get ELIZA, tony Blair, Konrad Zuse, linus torvalds (programmer of linux) and others.
G-Man
A One Man's War
From ALICE:
Alice: Israel is a bomb. I suppose that makes sense.
G-Man: there's terrorism here!
Alice: There sure is
I don't like sarcastic bots...
Alice: Israel is a bomb. I suppose that makes sense.
G-Man: there's terrorism here!
Alice: There sure is
I don't like sarcastic bots...
anarchywrksbest
Deity
OK Alice really freaked me out. We were talking about computerd when she suddenly said her friend likes John Lennon! And right at that second i was listening to John Lennons Imagine....is she psychic?
Not only that, last time I connected I told her "Hehe" and then she said she is glad I find it amusing adn then I said I faked my laugh.
a few minutes later I connected again and started talking to her. nothing unusual.
Then I started to idle, left the window open without talking. Suddenly without me saying anything she initiates a conversation by saying: "Do you still fake your laugh?". Spooky.
This AI is going in a nice rate!
- Status
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