What do you think of us Brits

[Joe Harker]

The only thing I really know about you is that you invented cricket and regularly get beaten by Pakistan.

We get beaten by everyone in any sport we have invented

 

[Xenocrates]

http://www.evilempirebook.com/

Has anyone read this book?

In The Evil Empire, Steven A. Grasse exposes the secret history of England’s global misdeeds. He asks what few have dared to ask: Having spent the better half of the millennium turning the world into their personal litter box, where do the English get off blaming everything on America?

After all, whose imperialistic shenanigans is Osama bin Laden really trying to avenge? Whose landgrabbing ways put the Palestinians and Israelis at each others throats? Who invented machine guns, wage slavery and concentration camps?

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

There are always outliers. There certainly aren't many pretty women round here.

Of course not, you're in Oxford. Non-Con scared them all away.

 

[Joe Harker]

If you were in town over the last couple of days you'd see what I mean. Cornmarket was flooded with short, fat women dressed in bells.
Presumably the bells were to warm people to look away, rather than burn their eyeballs.

It's stinks in cornmarket, smells really bad, although the cookie store is good

 

[Brighteye]

Yep, you probably can.
Sometimes. But do you really want to, with all those beauties on the streets to catch your eye instead?

 

[Phlegmak]

I just want to see what you all think of us Brits and what we are good and bad at.

If countries were people, I would consider Britain to be the US's brother.

The UK is good at:

1. Creating an empire.
2. Warfare
3. Killing a tremendous number of people
4. Michelle Marsh and Lucy Pinder
5. Soccer supposedly (I don't watch soccer).
6. Science (Darwin, Newton, and others)
7. Music (Handel, punk rock, and others)
8. Comedy television (Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous)
9. Extremely humorous parliamentary meetings (standing up, sitting down, and constant jeering)
10. Silly wigs for the judges and silly ceremonies. They're good comedy.

Bad at:
1. Food (So I've heard. I've never had British food.)
2. Keeping the aristocracy (the royals).
3. Rudeness (So I've heard and seen on TV.)
4. Journalists there are especially cruel to celebrities. I don't think celebrities are inherently special, but they're human beings. Journalists treat them like dirt.
5. Too many ceremonies. Ceremonies are money wasters and time wasters.
6. Joining the US in the Iraq war. While it's commendable that you stuck with the US as allies, the Iraq war was the wrong war for so many reasons. No one should have joined the US in the Iraq war.

 

[Truronian]

It's stinks in cornmarket, smells really bad, although the cookie store is good

Are you sure you're not thinking of the covered market? Cornmarket is the main street...

The covered market's great. Nothing like walking into a disemboweled deer to wake you up.

 

[Joe Harker]

Of course not, you're in Oxford. Non-Con scared them all away.

I find some socialist women attractive, mind you anyone remotly suggesting they like Cameron i find very hard to get along with, its the only predjuce I openingly show (i believe everyone is predjuce to a degree, good people just ignore it )

 

[Joe Harker]

Are you sure you're not thinking of the covered market? Cornmarket is the main street...

The covered market's great. Nothing like walking into a disemboweled deer to wake you up.

Yes sorry, i meant the the covered market

 

[Phlegmak]

http://www.evilempirebook.com/

After all, whose imperialistic shenanigans is Osama bin Laden really trying to avenge? Whose landgrabbing ways put the Palestinians and Israelis at each others throats? Who invented machine guns, wage slavery and concentration camps?

I think it's unfair to blame machine guns and wage slavery on the Britons, as they would have been invented by someone else given enough time. I also think it's unfair to say machines guns are a "bad thing" since it's just a natural progression of war technology. The US invented the gatling gun, didn't we? The machine gun is a progression of that.

When did the Britons invent concentration camps? Sometime during the occupation of India?

 

[Joe Harker]

If countries were people, I would consider Britain to be the US's brother.

The UK is good at:

1. Creating an empire.
2. Warfare
3. Killing a tremendous number of people
4. Michelle Marsh and Lucy Pinder
5. Soccer supposedly (I don't watch soccer).
6. Science (Darwin, Newton, and others)
7. Music (Handel, punk rock, and others)
8. Comedy television (Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous)
9. Extremely humorous parliamentary meetings (standing up, sitting down, and constant jeering)
10. Silly wigs for the judges and silly ceremonies. They're good comedy.

Bad at:
1. Food (So I've heard. I've never had British food.)
2. Keeping the aristocracy (the royals).
3. Rudeness (So I've heard and seen on TV.)
4. Journalists there are especially cruel to celebrities. I don't think celebrities are inherently special, but they're human beings. Journalists treat them like dirt.
5. Too many ceremonies. Ceremonies are money wasters and time wasters.
6. Joining the US in the Iraq war. While it's commendable that you stuck with the US as allies, the Iraq war was the wrong war for so many reasons. No one should have joined the US in the Iraq war.

Our food is lovely, nothing like having a greasy fish n chips in a stone cottage in devron. U forgot monty python, surly the greatest british comedy

 

[Brighteye]

You live in the Sheldonian? Cooooool

That's not the centre. Carfax is the centre, and I live very close to it. You know the two cardboard boxes on Bonn Square?

That's my home. A full two stories!

 

[Brighteye]

Are you sure you're not thinking of the covered market? Cornmarket is the main street...

The covered market's great. Nothing like walking into a disemboweled deer to wake you up.

They're all gone now. It's the end of the venison season. I had trouble finding any on Saturday.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

When did the Britons invent concentration camps? Sometime during the occupation of India?

During the 2nd Boer War (1899-1902)

 

[Joe Harker]

I think it's unfair to blame machine guns and wage slavery on the Britons, as they would have been invented by someone else given enough time.

When did the Britons invent concentration camps? Sometime during the occupation of India?

during the boers war I think although we weren't the first to exterimate a whole race, many examples in history of that

 

[Phlegmak]

Our food is lovely, nothing like having a greasy fish n chips in a stone cottage in devron. U forgot monty python, surly the greatest british comedy

I didn't forget them. I simply chose not to include them, since everyone includes them.

 

[CartesianFart]

Some assumptions in my neck-of-the-woods is that they percieve anyone who is a male that have a British accent to be somewhat being a fairy or effeminate.

 

[Truronian]

That's not the centre. Carfax is the centre, and I live very close to it. You know the two cardboard boxes on Bonn Square?

That's my home. A full two stories!

Handy for Primark, I imagine.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

It was the essential empire.

 

[Joe Harker]

By the way there have been many countries who have been good at killing people, not just us, in fact most countries have had a really good bloody war at some stage and please call soccer, football it really annoys me that it has had to change it name for american football.