What is the history behind one's CFC name?
Well, I was pondering what name to use when I was registering, when suddenly the room disappeared, and I found myself standing on a strange rocky outcrop on a towering mountain overlooking a blasted and desolate plain.
Before I could exclaim my surprise with a droll exclamation, or even light my pipe, I was battered by a roaring wind, and the sky turned black with terrible clouds that looked like huge bats.A ululating chorus of discordant otherworldly cries of anguish, foreboding, and eldritch power throbbed inexorably over the wind. I thought to myself "Now, this is something you don't see everyday."
A tiny point of light appeared, and rapidly grew to a circular gap in the clouds, from which flowed a pillar of brilliant light that shone like liquid fire. The screaming was drowned out by what seemed to be a massed choir, wordlessly emitting sounds of heavenly beauty that made the heart ache with longing (Upon reflection though, I realize that was just indigestion)
A voice that sounded like Charlatan Heston boomed out from the ether:
"Are you Simon Darkshode, the only man in existence who can unlock the inner mysteries of the deepest sanctums of creation and the universe?"
"No, I'm Simon Darkshade, Evil Dictator, Fascist and Dodgy Film Affecianado."
"Oh sh*t. I must have the wrong number. Terribly sorry, i was trying to reach the bloke who can program my VCR."
"Now worries, G. It happens to the best of us."
"Still up for tea on Thursday?"
"Certainly, My Lord. I'll be bringing the biscuits."
"I'm looking forward to that."
And before I knew it, I was back in my chair, looking at the flashing cursor on the computer screen, with nothing to show for my experience but some slightly mussed hair, and a lingering scent of brimstone.
So I decided "Bugger it. I'll just use my real name."
And so it was that Simon Darkshade was the name one used here.