What is the worst book you have ever read?

[Traitorfish]

Empire by Orson Scott Card

It's about an American civil war. Liberals vs Conservatives. All those caricatures of "liberals" and "conservatives" you see in the media were brought to life by Mr. Card, who did an amazing job of taking the most extreme and ridiculous portrayals of members of both camps and for some reason made them into actual characters in his story. So as a result you have these .. strawmen walking around, talking to each other. And you're expected to take this all at face value.

It's not supposed to be a funny book, it's supposed to be serious. So right off the bat, as you're reading this thing, you think to yourself "Something isn't right here"

It gets worse and worse the more you read. I won't include any spoilers in case anyone actually wants to read this drivel, but honestly, don't bother. Card is usually a very good author. The only explanation I have is that somebody paid him big bucks and said "here's my book outline, here are the characters I've invented, here is the plot, make all this into a novel and I will give you a load of cash"

That's very nearly what happened, as a matter of fact- the book was supposed to be a prequel tie-in thing to a video game called "Shadow Complex", it's just that the game was heavily delayed, released directly to Xbox Live Arcade and then sank without a trace, so all anyone remembers is that inexplicably awful novel.

(Apparently the game itself was actually pretty good, and sold well for an Arcade release, it's just that they aren't the sort of games that tend to have a lot of cultural staying power.)

 

[Valka D'Ur]

All cats are Satan, pretty much.

Seriously, this is not funny. Black cats have suffered a lot over the years because of the stupid prejudices and superstitions perpetrated by various religious groups. They tend to be among the very last to be adopted from shelters and are often victimized on Halloween and by abusers in general.

The person I got my Maddy from was worried that I wouldn't want her after all (he phoned the night before he was to bring her over; up to that point I hadn't even asked what her markings were). I asked if she was sick, and he said, "No. She's black."

I told him that I love black cats, and do not have any superstitious issues with such things. Maddy is a beautiful cat (looks very similar to the cat in my avatar), affectionate, usually well-mannered (she jumped up on a table this afternoon - but that was understandable considering that there was a pouch of catnip on it - a Christmas gift), and not vicious at all. She does get bad-tempered when a strange cat comes around, but that's normal cat behavior no matter what the markings or breed - like dogs, some cats are very territorial and don't take to strange cats.

 

[Kennigit]

i read a hefty chunk of naked lunch

 

[Akka]

For me, it was La Princesse de Clèves. It was a school assignment, so obviously I didn't came with the best mindset. But still, the robotic characters and the stupid plot made me annoyed enough to blast it in my essay - and it was a good idea, 'cause at least it gave me ideas and motivation and I got a very good score because of it
Several other school books that also belong to the top of the list (especially anything by Mauriac, this guy write about boredom or despair, and boy does he manage to share it well).

Among the non-obligatory read... I think the worst I can remember is The Female Man. Wasn't helped by the fact I was young, only started it because it was in the "science-fiction" collection I was devouring at the time (hence I expected a bona fide SF book, not a social commentary one) and lived in a vastly different society that made a lot of the points moot already. But oh my, what a bore and annoyance. At least, unlike the previous one, I wasn't forced to actually finish it, but my stubborness to not leave a task undone still made me trudge along far longer than would have been advisable.

I think the worst book I could read would be Atlas Shrugged, but I doubt I would even have the courage to start it ^^

 

[Terxpahseyton]

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind

 

[emzie]

The Twilight series. I physically threw the 4th book across the room in disgust.

 

[warpus]

Seriously, this is not funny. Black cats have suffered a lot over the years because of the stupid prejudices and superstitions perpetrated by various religious groups.

Sorry but after many years of interaction with them I am super skeptical of cats. I would definitely not want to perpetrate a kind of cat hate crime though, I had no idea that black cats were persecuted in that way still. If it helps it's not black cats in particular I'm suspicious of, but pretty much all cats in existence. A lot of them are cute, but when you're not looking they'll knock your stuff over just for fun

That's very nearly what happened, as a matter of fact- the book was supposed to be a prequel tie-in thing to a video game called "Shadow Complex", it's just that the game was heavily delayed, released directly to Xbox Live Arcade and then sank without a trace, so all anyone remembers is that inexplicably awful novel.

Ahh that adds a lot more context to the situation in which this book was written.. and explains a bit.. But still, before this I would always expect Card to be able to tell a compelling story with interesting characters no matter what the setting. I don't ever read fantasy (if you exclude LOTR) and I really liked some of Card's fantasy-like books. His series based on the Mormon Bible of all things is one of my all-time favourite series. I would have given a book in almost any genre a try if Card wrote it, so Empire was a bit of a surprise

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Should just be updated with modern language.
Had to read the book of Hiob during religion class, was awful. But probably anything written in such a style would be awful. A friend of mine read the Odysee, he said it was terrible. I read a modern adaption by a german assembly-line fantasy author, was actually pretty good.


From school: Effi Briest, was mandatory reading. The plot is not exactly interesting, but that's not the biggest problem. The author spends to much time describing tiny BS. I think the first 5 pages are describing the garden of the house in which the protagonist lives in. I have no idea why. Average reading speed for that horrible book was 20 pages/hour for me, normally I'm around 50.

In my free time: Tried to read a fantasy book from Stephen King (not the Dark tower, cannot remember), was written in such a boring way, that I couldn't deal with it for more than 10 pages.

What is this German adaption you speak of? Haven't heard of it. I didn't love Effi Briest (or Emilia Galotti for that matter) much back when I had to read them, still wouldn't call them bad.

i read a hefty chunk of naked lunch

..And you loved it?

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Sorry but after many years of interaction with them I am super skeptical of cats. I would definitely not want to perpetrate a kind of cat hate crime though, I had no idea that black cats were persecuted in that way still. If it helps it's not black cats in particular I'm suspicious of, but pretty much all cats in existence. A lot of them are cute, but when you're not looking they'll knock your stuff over just for fun

So be careful where you put your breakables. Dunno if you recall the posts I made a couple of years ago when I bought a china cabinet, but that's where I keep my most expensive breakables, like the ceramic bookend sets (wish I'd had this before my penguin bookend got broken ). But at least my Egyptian cat and Porch of the Maidens sets are intact and in no danger of being broken. Unfortunately, my giant d20 bowl is too big to put in there, so I need to make sure that if it does get knocked over it will land on carpet instead of tile.

 

[The_J]

What is this German adaption you speak of? Haven't heard of it.

Nothing anyone needs to have heard about .
If you want to take a look at it: Odysseus, by Wolfgang Hohlbein (that guy has written like a million books or so).

 

[Zkribbler]

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind

Funny, I liked Wizard's First Rule a lot. I quickly lost interest in the series when each now book seemed to be based on a different sexual fetish.

 

[PhroX]

Funny, I liked Wizard's First Rule a lot. I quickly lost interest in the series when each now book seemed to be based on a different sexual fetish.

Yeah, I quite enjoyed the first book of that series too. But god did it go downhill quickly. Not just with the fetishism, but with the utterly idiotic "philosophy" that the author inserted everywhere. I think I got to book 5 before I gave up, and even that was morbid curiosity after how bad the fourth one was. But even that wasn't the worst thing I've read.

No, that prize would go to Watch on the Rhine. John Ringo books usually fall into the entertainingly awful category for me, but this was something else (hopefully primarily due to his co-author). Not only was it tediously badly written, it presented the Waffen SS as misunderstood heroes. Yes, really.

 

[rah]

The ghost series by John Ringo probably takes the cake.
If you have a few minutes, read
http://hradzka.livejournal.com/194753.html

It's the most entertaining review that I've ever read. It's even funnier if you've actually read the books.

Ok, maybe it's more that a few minutes, but i was laughing so hard I lost track of the time. No John Ringo NO.

 

[warpus]

So be careful where you put your breakables. Dunno if you recall the posts I made a couple of years ago when I bought a china cabinet, but that's where I keep my most expensive breakables, like the ceramic bookend sets (wish I'd had this before my penguin bookend got broken ). But at least my Egyptian cat and Porch of the Maidens sets are intact and in no danger of being broken. Unfortunately, my giant d20 bowl is too big to put in there, so I need to make sure that if it does get knocked over it will land on carpet instead of tile.

Nah, I'm just going to stick to dogs. They bring you things instead of breaking your things.

 

[rah]

I've had cats (all have been black) and dogs.
This old joke sums it up for me.

From a dog's point of view. He feeds me, cleans up my poop, and gives me affection. He must be GOD.
From a cat's point of view. He feeds me, cleans up my poop, and gives me affection. I must be GOD.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

They bring you things instead of breaking your things.

No dog has ever brought me a dead mouse. The cats, on the other hand, have. They are obviously concerned that I get enough to eat.

 

[warpus]

See, that's what I mean. Cats don't bring you anything... and in the cases they do, it's a dead mouse. On the other hand you can train your dog to bring you your slippers or the newspaper.

Anyway, I can't see either of us changing our minds about which pet is superior.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

See, that's what I mean. Cats don't bring you anything... and in the cases they do, it's a dead mouse. On the other hand you can train your dog to bring you your slippers or the newspaper.

Anyway, I can't see either of us changing our minds about which pet is superior.

From the cat's point of view, it's an entirely practical gift. You can eat it, and by giving it to you instead of eating it themselves, cats who do this are expressing affection and concern for your well-being. And they do it without having to be trained.

As for the newspaper, I'm not allowed to have dogs here, and I can't even get the local newspaper delivery driver to bring me my paper properly (it's supposed to be left at my door, not in the lobby where it will either be stolen or trashed before I can get to it). And I don't need anyone to bring me my slippers because unless I'm asleep, they're always on my feet.

 

[warpus]

See, that's the thing. Cats only ever care about the world as it's seen from their point of view. Dogs on the other hand can be trained to try to appease to our own human point of view.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Women can be trained to cook for you so they're even better!