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What's the funniest thing in your schooling career?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by ShiplordAtvar, Jan 7, 2004.

  1. ShiplordAtvar

    ShiplordAtvar Texan by the grace of God

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    What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you or around you while you were in school? You don't have to be in school right now to answer. The humorous incident may be something of which you were a participant or to which you were a witness.

    Discuss.

    Yes, I will post mine later.
     
  2. The Chosen One

    The Chosen One Warlord

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    Eh, i saw the shop teacher get beat down.
    Uh, went to a party one day during lunch, that was really good :goodjob:
    I had a party one night in the press box on the football field.
    At baseball practice one cold day in december, temp was below freezing, i come to practice, and practiced in shorts and a tee-shirt :lol: The whole experience was fun
     
  3. Sims2789

    Sims2789 Fool me once...

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    i can think of many funny ones, but i'm not sure which is number 1.

    when i was on Student Council in 7th Grade, the Chairman resigned. we, of course, had no Vice Chairman, so we had a run-off. the guy i was running against lost on a technicality, so i was Chairman, by default. the technicality was that he was subbing in for his Representative who was to lazy to show up to the meetings. he would have easily won. my old school was K-8, the Middle School(6-8) part got 6 Reps(3 per classroom). while the 4-5 got 12(2 per classroom). the ages made two factions, plus one guy who was a 4-5 always supported me. so of course, we never got anything done.

    one time, a rather attractive girls pants(and panties) "fell" down. i think it was her best friend who pansted her, though.

    the girl who got pantsed put one of my friend's hands on her best friends chest. her frined, luckily, wasn't angry.

    what the Confederacy of Morons(the immature people. i also refer to them as "Immatures") does every day. like how they can't even play a game of anything.

    the time their was a fake air-raid. come on, in San Francisco! are you really that desperate for votes, Dubya? why would the terrorists attack the only city in the country that voted against both the Afgan War AND the 2nd Iraq War. we of course made wicked fun of it.
     
  4. Brewster

    Brewster stays crunchy in milk

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    Victoria, Canada
    The funniest thing I saw in school happened in a grade 9 chem class. Our regular teacher was sick for the week and had the ham-fisted rugby coach subbing for him.

    The day in question we were doing a lab on phosphorous and the teacher was to display the violent effects of mixing phosphorours and water. Reading the instructor's illegible notes, our sub (Mr. Samuels) was to cut a sliver of phosphorous and drop it into a pail of water. Instead he used the entire piece (the size of his thumb). When he tossed it into the pail of water a violent explosion ripped through the classroom and a gyser of purple-tinged water vapour shot out of the pail and hit the ceiling and spread out covering the entire ceiling of the classroom. There is a large purple stain on the roof to this day.

    The students were quite impressed and shouted for an encore. Mr Samuels was in a mild state of shock and looked like he may have crapped his pants. We got the rest of the class off while the room was being cleaned.
     
  5. lord_byron_nz

    lord_byron_nz Gimme some money

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    Aotearoa
    A few student/teacher dialouges:

    Mr. Patterson: OK Class, today we're doing log graphs
    Alan: I don't like log graphs
    Mr. Patterson: You don't have to like them Alan, just be good at them
    Alan: I'm not good at log graphs
    Mr Patterson: Alan, Out! Adam, you can leave too!
    Adam: Wh..Wh...?
    Mr. Patterson: You were breathing

    So the whole class got up and left :D

    Naturally these stories always sound really lame when told to a third party.
     
  6. polymath

    polymath Tleilaxu Mentat

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    I bunked off Latin once to play croquet with a friend..we were both on the school team (how milquetoast is that?) So, we were on the croquet pitch, and I hear a voice bellowing my name, and I look around, can't see anyone, carry on playing. Happens again, same result. Ten minutes later, happens again, again can't see anyone, I shrug and get on with the game.

    Turns out my Latin teacher had spotted me from the classroom window and was going purple with rage and frustration whilst I'm casually playing croquet on the lawn on a nice sunny day. Just the idea of it strikes me as funny, and the Latin class were splitting their sides too, particularly as I kept looking round in casual bemusement and then just carrying on with the game, to his steadily increasing ire.
     
  7. col

    col Old Fart Retired Moderator

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    Not so funny for the teacher though. :(
     
  8. Bozo Erectus

    Bozo Erectus Master Baker

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    The top two are the time I was running down the hall and accidentally knocked my 4th grade teacher to the floor, and she lay there flat on her back, her arms and legs waving in the air like a cockroach, and then when I was in freshman year in highschool and I set off a firecracker in art class.
     
  9. Drewcifer

    Drewcifer Agent of Karma

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    I did the same thing in 4th grade but the teacher was a bit larger. I bounced off. I was the one on my back looking like a cockroach. In eighth grade we learned the history of music in music class. When we got to the modern era our ex-hippie teacher was playing Jimi Hendrix' Purple Haze so loudly the principal had to come and make her turn it down (Led Zepplin's Dazed and Confused was right before that and at equal volume).
     
  10. Bozo Erectus

    Bozo Erectus Master Baker

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    Lucky for me, my 4th grade teacher was a little old lady:lol:
     
  11. bigfatron

    bigfatron Emperor

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    Two stand out for me:

    The water taps in our Chistry labs kind of swivelled so you could make them be sideways or even upside down and they still worked . So one time - with teh teacher's back turned - one kid turned a water tap upside down, shoots a jet of water right up to the lab ceiling (about ten feet), puts it back right way around. We're all trying to figure what he is going to do next, when he shouts "Look sir, a leak!" We all get kicked out of calls while they rip the ceiling and first floor lab floor out to find the non-existent leak....

    Top one has to be filching a locust (preserved in formaldehyde) out of the biology class before lunch. Come lunchtime we get jugs of custard (any brit knows what I mean) with pudding - the custard comes with a thick skin, so we lift off the skin, lay the locust in the custard and replace skin on top.

    Casually offer the 'spare' custard to the local fat b*tard table (always one table of greedy pigs in each school, right?), walk away and wait for the screams, shouts, vehement denials of the cooks, etc... very, very sweet!
     
  12. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    In grade 7, we were in a science lab in the school. I was sitting beside one kid, who isn't exactly the smartest person. So anyways, what he did, is he took some paperclips, chained them all together, and took two pencils, and used them as chopsticks on the end of the chain. He then placed the paper clip into an electrocal socket, and once he had both ends in allowing the electricity to flow, the entire things started sparking all over the place and went to a deep orange that metal goes to when it is extremely hot. The thing fell out and burnt itself into the lab bench. There is still an outline of a paperclip chain there. :lol:
     
  13. hawai_74

    hawai_74 mac über alles

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    one day a sudent got the key from the door, went out by the window and close door from outside. After that things were very bad for him
     
  14. ShiplordAtvar

    ShiplordAtvar Texan by the grace of God

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    One day in history class, we were having a group debate. This one kid in class that everybody hated was getting very angry, and at one point, threw a pen at the face of someone on the other team. He was sent to the principal's office immediately. The teacher said "anybody who laughs at John will lose their 50 bonus points for good conduct," looked around the room, and started laughing his ass off. We all joined in of course.

    Once I was in doing make up work for chemistry class during lunchtime, and (for whatever reason) was telling the teacher that so-and-so fellow student was a pot smoker, drug dealer, alcoholic, all sorts of nasty crap. Turns out the kid was in the room with me. He got up, looked at me, and walked briskly out of the room. I felt like crap. The teacher laughed at me.
     
  15. Laughing Gull

    Laughing Gull charts, graphs, databases

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    the funniest thing? I graduated over 10 years ago.

    in high school, 1993, being a notorious freak who hung out with the other freaks, head-bangers, punks, goths and skaters crowd, smoking weed at the bus stop in the morning and at the park at lunch every day....

    ...and shocking everyone I knew by making the principal's list with a 4.0 GPA with minimal effort.

    most people were in disbelief. how can a long hair stoner who wears Sepultura and Metallica T-shirts do that????


    it was great.
     
  16. carlosMM

    carlosMM Deity

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    we had a new teacher (well, new to our class) who had a ferodious rep. She was a tall, gaunt woman with the quickest toungue (literally and figuratively) I have ever heard. Famous quotes include:
    - In other courses one feels like one is addressing an amorphuous mass
    - All of you just bore me to death
    - You little scum can't even muster the guts to speak up to me!

    also, she was viciously anti-male. Must stem from her husband from the blackest, traditional Africa. I once asked her if she was like that at home, too, and she replied: Nah, at home I am quiet as a mouse. I'd have gotten kicked out otherwise long ago....

    As you can see she had a great sense of humor though ;) She was more respected than feared. Still, the first lesson was a memorable one.

    In the hall you could hear her heels go clickclickclickclick very fast - bad mood - uh-oh!
    BAM! she slammed the door shut.

    'So!I'vehaditalready! OnedayinthislunaticsasylumandIwanttoblowitallup!' I'll use spaces now, but she talks without :lol:

    'What???? Robert? Richie? What the **** are you doing here? Why did I flunk you last year, I was hoping I'd never see you again! OUT!!!! OUT!!!!! OUT prophylactically!!!!!!!!'

    'Hu? I didn't do a damn thing you idiot!' Rober gave back :lol:

    'That's what prophylactically means, you dumba**, it means you WILL do something! OUT!!!!!!!'

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    from that day on we loved her!
     
  17. Aphex_Twin

    Aphex_Twin Evergreen

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    The best gags are unintentional.

    Picture it, a hot, young latin teacher quite artistically reading a piece of Cicero when suddenly her 2 buzzom buttons pop out. She was not wearing a bra :satan:
     
  18. Sa~Craig

    Sa~Craig King

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    many things come to mind,

    1 when i was in year 8 this kid heat over the head with a mouse mat and i picked up the nearest chair and threw it at where he was and then chased him down the corridor.

    It wasn't funny at the time but it is now.

    2 when i was in year nine we found this basket of plastic fruit and vegetables the language faculty used as props for their lesson. then proceeded in throughing at one another and some kid through at me i ducked and it hit a teacher who had just walked in the door. (that was pretty funny)
     
  19. polymath

    polymath Tleilaxu Mentat

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    I just remembered another one.

    My very first maths lesson in Year 2. Some young guy, a sixth-former, wanders in before the start of the lesson and starts walking up and down the desks. This wasn't unusual, the young kids would always get 'examined' by the older kids and sometimes be given 'lessons in pain' etc., you know how it is.

    So he comes up to the desk in front of me, and I was cocky and didn't like to act weak, so I just looked at him and very loudly said
    "What the hell do you want?"

    He goes a bit purple and exhibits bug-eyed astonishment:
    "I'm your new maths teacher!!!!"

    :lol:
     
  20. carlosMM

    carlosMM Deity

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    poly, that reminds me of one of mine, when a sports teacher came into the hall shouting 'alright, cut it out now you fu*kers' (yes he used that word!!!) and sounded exactly like our class *******. I was looking the other way and shouted bay - well, you cna guess.

    He made me a head shorter, later I told him that I had not recognized his voice and all was well again - but did my callsmates have fun that day!!!!!!
     

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