Would you spank your child?

[Narz]

Children can be very provocative at times and losing your temper once and slapping them won't traumatize them if they are in a loving enviroment.

It shows you're weak if you lose your temper & hit them.

 

[MobBoss]

Well I'm spanked and I turned out a nervous wreck.

Yeah, but the reverse of Cleo's comment is true as well. You might be a nervous wreck regardless of being spanked.

Problem is that you need the same environment for both subject groups to draw a clear conclusion, which is practically impossible. Too many variables to make any sort of absolute judgement as far as I'm concerned.

Excellect point Ziggy.

It shows you're weak if you lose your temper & hit them.

People shouldnt hit their kids. Spanking shouldnt be seen as a parent losing their temper, nor just striking a child out of frustration. Thats not spanking.

 

[RedRalph]

A little slap on the arse or back of the legs now and then isn't the end of the world, however generally I get a certain tone in my voice which has very much the desired effect.

 

[Yeekim]

Problem is that you need the same environment for both subject groups to draw a clear conclusion, which is practically impossible. Too many variables to make any sort of absolute judgement as far as I'm concerned.

If the sample size is large enough that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Mise]

If the sample size is large enough that shouldn't be a problem.

It depends whether "likelihood to spank" is correlated with other parental or environmental attributes that will affect the child's upbringing. Maybe people who spank are poorer in general; since poverty is strongly correlated with educational attainment, any study would have to control for that.

Point being, it's not just about sample size, you also have to control for lots of things. Ziggy's implicit belief is that you have to control for so many things that you end up requiring identical environments; I don't think this is true at all - I think there are variables you'd need to control for but that these aren't insurmountable - but it's worth bearing in mind nonetheless.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I also used the words "clear conclusion" and "absolute"

 

[Shadylookin]

And here might be some more ammo for the discussion:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1981019,00.html

I don't know about that. Whenever I go to the walmart and someone smacks their kid for having a tantrum they just start bawling and squalling even more because they just got smacked.

 

[MobBoss]

Here is the crux of the issue as I see it.

Kids dont come with operators manuals, and it wouldnt do you any good if they did for the sole reason they are all different, and being different, different methods of parenting are going to vary greatly depending on the kid and the parents involved.

Spanking is simply one parenting tool of many, and its certainly not a 'single solution' to every problem a parent faces in raising kids. And it can be used correctly or incorrectly, just like any of the other parenting tools can be. It may be effective or not effective at all depending on the childs attitude as well.

You may have a kid that doesnt care if they get put into time out - in fact, I have seen kids that enjoy it. You may have kids that just look at you funny if you try to talk with them in a stern voice. Or you may have kids that get overly traumatized if you give them harsh looks and stern language.

Point being, parental correction can be abusive if done incorrectly or too harshly. Constantly yelling at your kid or punishing them in an unfair manner is going to hurt them just as much as spanking them unfairly will, and kids will simply resent you for it. Spanking, done correctly (i.e. not with abuse) is indeed an effective parenting tool and shouldnt simply be discounted out of hand just because someone considers it barbaric. It can be barbaric if it gets out of hand, but so can any form of abuse.

 

[Communisto]

good post mobboss

 

[I'm Cleo!]

Problem is that you need the same environment for both subject groups to draw a clear conclusion, which is practically impossible. Too many variables to make any sort of absolute judgement as far as I'm concerned.

"Absolute?" There are too many variables to make an absolute judgment about anything dealing with people. And epidemiologists know this, which is why epidemiology doesn't deal in absolutes. If you're looking for an absolute judgment, you're never going to find it; might as well stop attempting to understand how things work.

Cleo

 

[Lone Wolf]

If your kid regularly throws tantrums in shops, you're doing something wrong in the first place.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Yeah, but the reverse of Cleo's comment is true as well. You might be a nervous wreck regardless of being spanked.

I'm a nervous wreck from worrying when my mom is going to freak out and hit me again.

 

[MobBoss]

I'm a nervous wreck from worrying when my mom is going to freak out and hit me again.

Thats not spanking.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Then what is it?

 

[warpus]

Aimee, that's abuse

btw what the hell is a time out?

 

[Lone Wolf]

btw what the hell is a time out?

A practice in which if your kid does something wrong, you lock him up somewhere for a certain time. Personally, in majority of cases I consider it stupid.

 

[Mark1031]

However, not all kids respond to a punishment the same. Spanking wont work for some, time outs wont work for some. As a parent, you have to be flexible and be able to use what works.

This.

 

[azzaman333]

Aimee, that's abuse

btw what the hell is a time out?

Locking your kid up in a room for however long you want to forget about them.

 

[Elrohir]

btw what the hell is a time out?

It's where the kid has to go be by himself for awhile. Traditionally, it'd be something like standing in the corner with your nose against the wall for ten minutes or so, without anything to do, or being allowed to talk -- it relies on boredom to drive the point home. These days, a lot of parents seem to rely on more generic "Go to your room!" which doesn't work as well, given that most kids have laptops or tvs in their room. Whether or not it's effective depends on the kid, and the exact technique. (Lots of parents seem to have lost the "The point is to punish them" part of it and focused on the "I don't have to hear them for a little bit" part)

EDIT: I wrote out the long, more detailed answer, and Azza beat me to it with a much better response.

 

[RedRalph]

Then what is it?

Your Mam being unable to control her temper, by the sounds of it.

I think some people here are equating a spanking (which I would consider basically a light slap on the arse) with a savage beating.