A Very Condensed History of the Earth

[Midnight-Blue766]

Hello. I guess this is a result of a thought experiment that I had this morning: what if we took the history of Earth and superimposed it upon recorded history? I decided to take 4004 BC as my starting point, as that is the traditonal date of creation in the English-speaking world*. I based my timeline on Wikipedia's Timeline of Evolution, if you're curious.

*Yes, I am aware that the date in question only sprung up in the 17th century.

Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Precambrian Era
a. Hadeon Eon
b. Archean Eon
c. Proterozoic Eon

Chapter 2: Phanerozoic Eon
a. Paleozoic Era

 

[Midnight-Blue766]

Chapter 1: Precambrian Era: 4004 BC-1357 AD

Hadeon Eon

4004 BC: Formation of the Earth.
3916 BC: Possible formation of the moon.
3350 BC: Formation of the crust, atmosphere, oceans.
3873-2565 BC: Earliest forms of life appear.
3088 BC: Creation of much of the craters on the Moon.
3088-1258 BC: Early Bacteria and Archaea (i.e. Prokaryotes) evolve.

Archean Eon

2565 BC: Last Universal Ancestor lives. Bacteria and Archaea split. Early photosynthesis appears.
1912 BC: Blue-green Algae elvolve; free oxygen first appears in the atmosphere. Creation of iron-ore deposits.

Proterozoic Eon

ca. 735 BC: Single-celled eukaryotes appear.
ca. 442 AD: Sexual reproduction appears. Early multicellular organisms evolve.
899-1187 AD: Possible global glaciation occurs.
1252-1357 AD: Cambrian Explosion starts. Modern animal phyla appear.
1252-1305 AD: Formation of the Ozone Layer.

 

[Midnight-Blue766]

Chapter 2: Phanerozoic Eon: 1311-1682

Paleozoic Era
And thus we move into the Renaissance with this update. The colonization of land occurs.

1311: Diversification of chordates, anthropods (trilobites, crustaceans), etc.
1318: Early exploration of the land.
1324: Earliest terrestrial creatures evolve.
1344: Earliest Cephalopods evolve.*
1350: Burgess Shale forms.
1375: Earliest jawless fish appear.
1422: Early millipedes evolve, along with sea urchins and conodonts.
1443: Early terrestrial plants and fungi evolve.
1461: First ray-finned fishes, spiders, land scorpions evolve.
1474: First teethed fish, Natuiloids, Lycopods, Trimerophytophytae
1494: Early lichens and stoneworts. Small land arachnids, insects and ammonoids evolve.
1536: Carboniferous Period begins. Insects roam the land and will soon evolve wings, shark swim in the seas, and seeds- bearing plants flourish on land. Early terapods evolve.
1540: Crabs and ferns evolve.
1553: Large sharks, ratfish and hagfish evolve.
1566: Amphibians diversify.
1579: First egg-laying terrestrial mammals evolve.
1612: Early diapsid evolve.
1644: Early beetles evolve, seed plants and early evergreens diversify. More amphibians and Dimetrodons evolve.
1682: The Permian Triassic extinction event wipes out over 90% of marine life.

*Fun fact: 1344 is 666 years away from 2010. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

 

[Midnight-Blue766]

reserved2

 

[Midnight-Blue766]

reserved3

 

[Midnight-Blue766]

Whoops. I posted this in the wrong forum. Can a moderator please move this to the History section?

 

[SG-17]

For a second there I thought that you were a YEC. This is an interesting yet weird idea. Good luck with it.

 

[dirtyparrot]

I'll hazard a guess, but I'm thinking that man came around the year 2000.

 

[emzie]

Chapter 1: Precambrian Era: 4004 BC-1357 AD

Hadeon Eon

4004 BC: Formation of the Earth.
3916 BC: Possible formation of the moon.
3350 BC: Formation of the crust, atmosphere, oceans.
3873-2565 BC: Earliest forms of life appear.
3088 BC: Creation of much of the craters on the Moon.
3088-1258 BC: Early Bacteria and Archaea (i.e. Prokaryotes) evolve.

Archean Eon

2565 BC: Last Universal Ancestor lives. Bacteria and Archaea split. Early photosynthesis appears.
1912 BC: Blue-green Algae elvolve; free oxygen first appears in the atmosphere. Creation of iron-ore deposits.

Proterozoic Eon

ca. 735 BC: Single-celled eukaryotes appear.
ca. 442 AD: Sexual reproduction appears. Early multicellular organisms evolve.
899-1187 AD: Possible global glaciation occurs.
1252-1357 AD: Cambrian Explosion starts. Modern animal phyla appear.
1252-1305 AD: Formation of the Ozone Layer.

I laughed so hard when I read the first line that I had to lean over on my desk. Probably should have read the OP more carefully.

 

[Perfection]

ummm, why?

 

[emzie]

ummm, why?

Me? Or why was this thread made?

I laughed because I thought it was a well executed troll of YEC -- one I didn't see coming.

 

[warpus]

This is actually kinda neat, but why 4004 instead of 4000 BC?

 

[TheLastOne36]

I thought you were one of those relgious guys who thinks theearth formed a couple thousand years ago at first.

 

[Perfection]

Me? Or why was this thread made?

The latter.

I care not about your feeble laughter!

 

[Valka D'Ur]

This is actually kinda neat, but why 4004 instead of 4000 BC?

According to Wiki, Bishop James Ussher calculated that to be the date of Creation:

James Ussher (sometimes spelled Usher) (4 January 1581–21 March 1656) was Church of Ireland Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland between 1625–1656. He was a prolific scholar, who most famously published a chronology that purported to establish the time and date of the creation as the night preceding 23 October 4004 BC, according to the proleptic Julian calendar.

Source.

 

[Earthling]

Yeah, thread does not deliver. The only time I expect to see something Condensed in such a manner is delicious Campbell's soup.

Little bits of stuff in broth -hydrogen
Noodles-Helium
Rice-Lithium
Carrots-Beryllium
Beans-Boron
Potatoes-Carbon
...
Need I go on?

 

[JohnRM]

Human Era

Humans lived on the Earth for three million years relatively peacefully, with a relatively stable population, and sustainably. Then, about ten thousand or so years ago, we developed totalitarian agriculture, our population began to explode, and we began to destroy the planet.

 

[sophie]

Human Era

Humans lived on the Earth for three million years relatively peacefully, with a relatively stable population, and sustainably. Then, about ten thousand or so years ago, we developed totalitarian agriculture, our population began to explode, and we began to destroy the planet.

Are you an admirer of Rousseau, perchance?

 

[Perfection]

relatively peacefully

My ass!

 

[amadeus]

Human Era

Humans lived on the Earth for three million years relatively peacefully, with a relatively stable population, and sustainably. Then, about ten thousand or so years ago, we developed totalitarian agriculture, our population began to explode, and we began to destroy the planet.

Glad you're enjoying your planet-destroying computer and home there, John. What's with you lately? You're not a ex-math professor that found out his favorite trail was paved over, are you?