Alternate History Thread II...

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Strange, you seemed almost human to me... :p
 
JosefStalinator said:
Well I'm 1/4th human (Italian, German, Polish, English), so grant me 1/4 of my rights!
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Life... Liberty... Pursuit of Happiness...

I'll give you a choice: three quarters of any one of the three, or divide it up. :p
 
The humor is pretty good and the writing style is unique, though, the ending sort of prevents it (if carried to its conclusions) of being much use. The premise reminds me of a thought I had such that, if Hero of Alexandria had just pieced the parts together a bit different, and some plague conveniently happened to have struck down the majority of the Roman slaves... things could be very different.

The Armored Train idea reminds me of something I tried in CapNES2, but ran out of time for.
 
Bad enough a plague might've done the trick, actually - as for Hero's own actions, they are of little consequence. If all the prerequisites are there (and apparently, they were there) and there is an urgent need, chances are that steam power would've been utilized. Incidentally there had been a NES based on the premise...
 
As said - there already WAS a very interesting NES, if you're talking about Hero ofcourse. Very memorable quote: "I'm the god-damned Pope!" - Xen. Though the chances of a Papacy appearing in such a different world still seem unlikely to me.
 
Am presently working on my althist, its coming along very well and I hope to finish it before Prague. Panda, I suspect, will quite like the part I'm working on now...
 
Wasn't your first NES that shortlived Azale one, with Aztecs, Texans and triumphant Napoleon?
 
1600-1700.

Slowly, but surely, the world was becoming more intertied, and already events in Iberia could to a certain extent influence events in Japan. For now, it still was possible to view the histories of different, distant parts of the world separately, but only barely so. I will not make such an effort, and now write of the world as a whole, from Transoceania through Europe to Japan.

Let us start with Transoceania. Most of it hadn't been influenced by Europe, for the greater part of the 17th century. When it was, the influence was mostly indirect and thus spread slowly, but had enormous consequences, beating the stagnation and social stability out of the Transoceanic civilizations. Let us however view Transoceania as it was before any of this happened, before the world suddenly ran forward brutally mauling itself in the process as it tends to whenever it has to actually get somewhere.

The various Inuit, Cree, Anasazi and other barbaric peoples had barbariously continued to live barbarically as they always had, for the most part, but differences begun to appear along the Mississippi, as the classical struggle of the rising city-state civilization versus nomadic and seminomadic barbarians had started. Though the northern Mississippian cities, such as Cahokia, had long ago declined and were abandoned, in the south now a new revival started around the site that was termed "Moundville" later on. This city saw many great works of native Transoceanic architecture, an elaborate social hierarchy and military, political and economic hegemony over the Lower Mississippi (also called Gichiziibi by some), achieved by numerous campaigns and great battles, and so forth. Its a bit of a shame that it all was eventually destroyed within days.

In Mesica (OOC: Mesoamerica), the neo-Toltec Second Acolhuan Empire of Texcoco ascended. While its enemies were weak, divided or both (most notably, the Tarascan Empire was undergoing a civil war, while rebels threw it out of Mesica altogether, limiting the Tarascans to only Michoacan, though it wasn't too small), the Acolhuans had a strong new army, led, as of 1639, by their great king Ixtlilcoyotl I. Long story cut short, the heirs to the old Toltec civilization fared not much worse than the heirs to the Trojans across the Ocean and centuries ago - subduing with golden carats and lots of sticks called "spears" all of their enemies in multiple campaigns. Ixtlilcoyotl's empire encompassed all of Mesica from the Isthmus of Tehuantepec in the east to the Balsas and Cutzamala rivers that marked the border with the Tarascans. This was the first stable Mesican empire since the fall of the Aztecs. Unlike the Aztecs, the Acolhuans left no vassal states, though they didn't genocide most of their enemies neither, and allowed some of them to retain their own culture (and indeed, the Acolhuans were notoriously tolerant in regards of religion). Instead, they established a strong, unitary, buerocratic enlightened despotism. Very enlightened - as the Acolhuan kings traditionally patronized the tlamatini philosophers, and built many great temples and libraries (most notably renovating the Great Library of Texcoco built by the great Nezahualcoyotl in the 15th century), and themselves were with few exceptions notable poets. And finally, at the time in Texcoco flourished a primitive monotheistic religion, though only widespread amongst the aristocracy and the new priesthood; mostly a peaceful religion - also originating in the days of Nezahualcoyotl, but declined since then until now - it was in some aspects similar to early Christianity and had an egalitarian and, as already said, peaceful streak that didn't influence neither taxation nor foreign policies of the Acolhuans. It would change into something much more fun later on...

Despite the frequent Carib raids, the northern Mayan city-state of T'ho flourished, uniting all the northern Mayans around it during the reign of Siyah Yax K'uk Mo'. To combat the Caribs and safeguard the flourishing trade with the Arawaks (and through them, with Lower Mississippi and the Chibcha Empire), a great new fleet was assembled and used in a punitive raid against West Cubanacon (OTL Cuba). All the Carib settlements there were put to the sword and the torch, and then and there, the first Mayan oversea colony was established, a fort and a forward trade post. Others would come in time as more and more of West Cubanacon was secured, while the Caribs were crushed by the Mayans and their Arawak allies and eventually driven to extinction, whether dying in battle, starving on small, isolated islands or being worked to death by their enemies (though the mainland Caribs still lingered on, as did those in the far eastern islands (OTL Lesser Antilles) - but in this world, they are mostly considered a different people by the Mayans). The Arawaks themselves set up a primitive tribal kingdom in eastern Cubanacon eventually, in the very late 17th century, having come under Mayan influence and learned much from them. Trade in the Arawak Sea (OTL Carribean Sea) flourished further, as did the exchange of technology - what Chibchas learned from the Incans they transferred across the sea to the Mississippi, while the Mississippians themselves had much to teach the Chibchas about. Some diseases and goods were exchanged as well. And Mayans got the most of it all, ofcourse, having now succesfully become the new middlemen here.

The Chibcha Empire was quite stagnant during it all, despite being shaken up by occasional civil wars, Carib invasions and wars with the Incans (that were ultimately won, as parts of the northernmost Incan territories fell to the Chibchas). The Incans, meanwhile, despite all their occasional misfortunes were generally undergoing a renaissance. The last 16th century saw an inconclusive civil war beetween the north and the south, but in 1607 the forces of the southern emperor Huascar II captured Quito, the northern capital, and thus reunited the empire around Cuzco. Buerocracy was overhauled, and some of the more distant territories were abandoned. The Incan Empire settled down, and thus ofcourse begun to stagnate as well. In the very late 17th century, however, the ripple effects of a certain development will reach the Incans as well, shaking the stability of Tawantinsuyo badly.

On 1669 Anno Domini as they had termed it, strange, pale, red-haired people came from the east in their huge boats that have been sighted nearby before, evidently fishing. They came to a great island off the northeastern coast of North Transoceania (OTL Newfoundland, ofcourse), and established a settlement there, claiming it for themselves and for a man called Columba, apparently - the king of a faraway land (Columba/Columcille I of Ireland, ofcourse). They called the land that they have discovered Affalon, but this name would only stick for the island itself. When European explorers begun arriving in Transoceania in the 18th century and after the initial flurry of "[insertmonarch'snamehere]ias", a neutral, scientific, Latin term was proposed by the Pope and eventually accepted. You've guessed it, "Transoceania", as after all it was beyond an ocean.

But that was all in the future. The fishing settlement/trade outpost that eventually turned into Caer Murchaid was insignificant and minor, with a pretty small population. The Irish had repeated the feat of the Vikings in the 1650s and 1660s, having first retaken West Iceland from the Scotts (to whom they lost it in the previous round of the so-called "Cod Wars"). From there, their fishermen and whalers sailed further west, passing Greenland... and discovering, like the Vikings and the Basques before them, a new world beyond the ocean. They fished near it too, and killed some whales. And then, set up a settlement - after all, it was not too bad a land, and the fish were plentiful. King Columba I was, fortunately, very interested in all this, as he had heard about the Basque fishermen that used to sail far to the west before, and even that they had found a new land. So he ordered an expedition there, to make sure that the new settlement was obedient, provided with the necessary supply of attention and otherwise assisted, while the island they had found is explored. Interesting news returned, and there was much talk about these islands at the court. Some rumours begun reaching further as well...

But before much could be done, the English have invaded Ireland, Columba died fighting, the royal archives burned during the English assault on Dublin, and only one of Columba's children, Prince Murchaid, fled west with some retainers on a few ships he had confiscated in Cork (where he was staying when news came of the disaster at Dublin). As luck would have it, he reached Affalon, and hastily claimed the title of King of Ireland and Affalon there, naming the previously-nameless settlement into Caer Murchaid and declaring it his capital. The fishermen secretly grumbled, but on the other hand both they and even moreso their families felt a certain amount of pride over their, to be honest, village suddenly becoming the capital of the world's greatest kingdom (Irish pride ;) ). Initial fears of an English invasion proved groundless - those few of the English who actually believed in this "Affalon" nonsense dismissed it as being a poor, distant land they really didn't need.

So instead Murchaid sighed with relief and proceeded to slaughter some of those funny natives they've found. They were no fun though, sickly, weak and all that...

Towards 1700, Affalon encompassed all of its island and had a still small, but quickly-growing population. Several new, lesser setlements were established; early expeditions took place to the mainland; Murchaid II ruled supreme. Across the Ocean, while studying the royal archives, a courtier suddenly stumbled upon the mention of a westwards exodus of some of the Irish nobility during the Reconquest and the mention of a far-off western land... He couldn't quite pinpoint it, ofcourse, but remembering how bored King Robert II, he decided to tell him about this. Who knows, maybe he could actually stop ranting about how stupid and corrupt everybody was and instead try and organize some expedition or something...

But I am getting sidetracked. Back in Transoceania, time passed. Very slowly, as the Affalonian merchants ventured out, their goods spread across northern Transoceania, and along with them - technology. A few merchants were killed by some particularily hungry natives, who, however, failed to catch their horses, that happened to be of both genders; miracilously, a few of the horses actually survived and copulated, though noone had domesticated them just yet. Faster, but not the fastest - how extraordinary! - was the spread of rumours across Transoceania, rumours about these very strange pale-faced red-hairs. European diseases that spread just barely ahead of rumours, but destroyed communications in their wake (thus slowing the rumours down), causing great damage to commerce and encouraging social enthropy, and ruining civilizations.

Actually things could've been much worse. Only the Lower Mississippi and Arawak civilizations collapsed, and the former only partially due to diseases, which have weakened them and allowed the desperate nomads to overrun Moundville. Within Mesica, Tarascan Michoacan was shaken, and also attacked by barbarians, but it endured for now. In the Acolhuan Empire things, as promised, got interesting after several members of the royal family, including the king himself, fell to the plague. A civil war ensued, and the winner was the devious high priest (and uncle of the late king) Nezahualcoatl (a most fitting name, as any of you with a workable knowledge of the Nahuatl languages have probably noticed ;) ), who, as high priest, managed to make certain... doctrinal adjustments. While the various pretenders and separatists warred, the high priest and his supporters sat by quietly, and spread their faith amongst the desperate people, gaining much following and influence. The Acolhuan monotheism now evolved into something much more practical and thus - scary, especially when one remembers the conditions elsewhere. It had no human sacrifice, but did demand total obedience to the high priest, who was to become the king at the same time, turning the Acolhuan Empire into a theocracy. Furthermore, the usual monotheistic concept of fighting the heathens and imposing the faith was adapted as well. When the time was ripe, Nezahualcoatl ordered his followers to rise up everywhere, attacking all the pretenders (to all of whom he had separately promised his support beforehand, as they begun to seek it, realizing his great influence amongst the masses) at once, confusing them all and slaughtering them. Those who didn't fall to assassins were buried under the corpses of the inferiorly-trained, but numerous and ferocious fanatics unleashed. Nezahualcoatl didn't reintroduce human sacrifice, but he did make a lovely set of cups from the skulls of the fallen pretenders; they became an important state relic.

Several risings against the new theocracy were put down, rebels were enslaved and herded to build a great new temple to the Lifegiver at Texcoco, barbarian raids were defeated, things were on the move, although an invasion of Michoacan had barely failed.

The Mayans of central and southern Yucatan were beginning to rebuild their cities to a certain extent when the smallpox struck; after that, they never did rise back again. In the north, however, T'ho (quite fortunately, but the advanced hygene and medicine there also was a factor) survived and partially recovered, despite losing some of its outer territories both on Yucatan and on Cubanacon. In fact as of 1698 Mayans had already begun expanding again and set up a trade post in the lands of the Calusa (OTL South Florida) and another in the delta of the Mississippi (the nomads too had much to trade after all).

The Chibchas were shaken. Badly. The disease didn't really hit them all that bad, though their commerce was crippled; but it coincided with the largest Carib invasion, during which Hunza, the second-largest city, was lost to the Caribs, much of its population eaten (well, obviously most were simply slain, but many of the tastier specimens made a meal) and the city burned down. The present emperor himself was killed and consequentially was also eaten; even in death, though, he seems to have saved his empire, as he evidently also had smallpox (perhaps a reason for his suicidal charge at the enemy army with but a few bodyguards). Then again, maybe it was all a pretty legend - contact with smallpox was unavoidable for the Caribs anyway. Regardless, a smallpox epidemic wiped out the Caribs that tried to besiege Bacato; the few survivors were NOT eaten, as the Chibchas were civilized people and had them tortured to death instead (and then, ofcourse, made cups out of their skulls - though Nezahualcoatl's collection still was by far better, consisting of nobler specimens). But the situation was still quite bad, and the Chibcha Empire barely recovered, losing some ground to the Incans and having to fight a drawn-out war with the eastern Carib tribes after a few unsuccesful punitive expeditions exchanged for daring, partially-succesful raids. After that it became a matter of honour, but many resources were wasted for little gain, though several Carib tribes were eventually slaughtered, their ranks weakened by the very same smallpox.

Incans were shaken as well, but not too badly; after a civil war, they recovered, and used Chibcha weakness to regain lost ground (advancing to take OTL Cali and Neiva). However, as corruption is returning into the ranks of Incan buerocracy, the overstretchment once more begins to become a serious problem. But then, ahead of the Incans - and of the entire Transoceania - were far greater problems than anyone could have anticipated back in those days...

It would come from the Old World, and a great percentage of it - from Europe. The early 17th century in Europe was startlingly peaceful. Some peasant risings were put down by the Plantagenets; some feudal feuds in the Holy Roman Empire stopped and resolved by the Emperor; a few brushfire wars and short-lived (due to Imperial intervention) republican revolutions took place in Italy. The Ottomans proved to be quite exceptional; a joint Aragonese-Imperial Mediterranean Fleet (the Imperials built up a jolly good fleet in Venice, putting the renovated Arsenal to good use) defeated the Ottomans at Cythera, although the subsequent invasion of Crete was a failure. The Ottomans and their Tartar vassals (well, alright, subjects - Crimea was altogether subjugated as of 1610, the Crimean Khan becoming a figurehead) skirmished with the Russians, prompting an erection of powerful fortifications on the Russo-Crimean border that kept the raiders at bay, but also meant abandoning plans of invading Crimea for now (not that any of the recent invasions thereof had been very succesful). Russians now carried the war to the Caucasus, where they incited a Georgian rebellion in 1622 and successively defeated the Ottomans in the Battle at Tsebelda (a minor Ottoman fortress that was preventing Russians from reinforcing the rebels in Abkhazia) and at Ts'khinvali, though the Ottomans held on to the key Georgian cities of K'ut'aisi and Tiflis and eventually subdued the rebels. Russians had also consolidated control over Astrakhan and established trade ties with the Quqonids (a Turkic dynasty that united much of Central Asia and Persia, and there waged wars with the Ottomans), as well as an alliance, though the Ottomans held their ground for the most part, winning the Battle at Tabriz (but temporarily losing Ahvaz and with it - Luristan; it was retaken under Sultan Ismail I the Shipbuilder later on). The war went on indecisively, but no peace was signed, if only because the only ones who suffered from the war were some Tartars and Georgians, and who cares about them?

In 1630s, things got slightly more interesting - while the Scotts conquered Iceland and invaded Ireland with initial success (but eventually were defeated there in the disproportionally-famous (the fault of Irish and Affalonian poets and playwrights, ofcourse, most notably the 19th century author of the play "Remember Dundalk") Battle at Dundalk, and in the 1650s also pushed out of Iceland), a major rebellion in Poland was defeated and a series of brushfire Russian and Imperial wars against Kalmar Union took place. Aragon and Iberia clashed as well, the Iberians failing to retake Navarre and losing Euskardi, as well as paying reparations and marrying into the Aragonese royal family, which still dreamed of uniting Iberia one day.

The 1630s (and the period up to 1655; some however believe that it might as well be extended as far as 1680) also saw the resurgence of the Black Death (okay, so technically this was a different and ultimately much less damaging plague, but back then many called it the Black Death or the Second Black Death or the Daughter of Black Death or even the Return of the Black Death. You get the idea). The cause, as always, was overpopulation (OOC: in this world unrelieved by the colonization of America and religious violence back in Europe; the movement of some Irishmen westwards and a few local heresies don't really count). Long story cut short, the overpopulation problem was temporarily resolved; as for Europe, it recovered and to a certain extent benefited, as medicine underwent what was termed the "Great Leap Forward" which at least in part was inspired by these outbreaks. Hygene was improved, and so was architecture (in part because the plague wasn't the only hazard attacking Europe while it remained at peace (as if to stir it into returning to its natural state) - fires were also ridicilously frequent and have been blamed, for the most part, on the heretics, who, for the purpose of saving time, were occasionally just tied to a stake and left near a burning building). Also, though agriculture recovered over time, this had somewhat encouraged the industrial revolution that was beginning at the time (it was catalysed by Albrecht the Great's conquest of Venice; though the defenders tried to sabotage the various factories in the last moment, they weren't always succesful, in particular they had failed to cause any grave damage to the famous Arsenal; and with the help of Venetian collaborators, not only were the city's industries rebuilt, but they were also replicated elsewhere, most notably in Flanders and Bohemia; however, the Imperials had failed to keep as tight a lid on this technology as the Venetians, so by the end of the century the advanced new manufacturies/industries were present, to one extent or another, in all of Europe's great powers).

Of much importance for the middle of the 17th century in Europe is Kaiser Rudolph II.

Rudolph II, the grandson of Albrecht the Great, didn't "stand witness to great amounts of strife within his Empire" as sometimes claimed; or, at least, he was not a mere witness. He provoked that strife quite deliberately by spreading rumours of his centralization plans and making threatening gestures towards the electors. In 1647, some of them tried to rise up, but were immediately preempted and crushed, as were the other rebels within both Germany and Italy. Having greatly undermined the resistance to himself, Rudolph then used these revolts as an excuse to actually carry out him very genuine centralization plans, confiscating numerous strategic territories (most notably Venice, which tried to regain its independence, but failed) and tweaking the balance at Worms in the Kaiser's favour.

After dealing with the internal matters in this manner, Rudolph went on to the foreign affairs. Though formally, a war with the Ottomans was going on, neither side really did much apart from raiding each other's holdings in Hungary; Rudolph decided to negotiate and secured a truce with the Turks, to the disapproval of Tsar Basil/Vasiliy I in Kiev. Then he looked to the west at last. In the west, the Plantagenet Empire was clearly expiring. All the reforms, all the wars with the rebels were to no avail - the "La Manche Monarchy" as it was also called at times was simply too inefficient, especially now that it tried to appease both sides of the La Manche, resultingly failing to further the interests of either. Indeed, by tying England to France and France to England, it immobilized both and prevented them from fulfilling their great potentials. In many ways, what was keeping the Empire together were the Flanders. Neither French nor English and with ties to both, it was unique in the empire. It also strenghthened the ties of commerce that tied both down. And Flemish bankers were the chief financeers of the Plantagenets, aware that the survival of their empire was the guarantee of the continued success of their present commerce. Unfortunately, Flanders was always coveted by the Imperials; as of the 17th century, all they wanted was an excuse to grab it. An excuse came with a succession crisis, combined with a minor weaver revolt in Ghent in 1654. Incited by the German agents, the weaver guild rose up, and was supported by some of Germanophilic merchants who saw much more opportunity within the propserous Holy Roman Empire than within the less competition-filled, but much more unstable Plantagenet realms. Imperials supported the rising and refused to recognized King Richard IV. Imperials, under Baron von Munchhausen, advanced into Flanders, helped the Ghenters, and advanced to Picardy undeterred, taking city after city. Only in Picardy did the Plantagenets stand and fight (at St.-Quentin, to be exact), but they were immediately routed by the elite Imperial forces. Meanwhile, rebellions commenced in England, and Robert I Tudor of Wales, having abducted and married an English noblewoman, now gathered a force of mercenaries and western English lords and marched out, seeking the English throne itself. In France, Imperials won yet another battle, at Compiegne, threatening Paris itself. Richard IV died in battle, childless. The Imperials negotiated with the Parisian magnates and had them officially cede Flanders and Picardy to the Holy Roman Empire, while pretender Henry was announced King Henry IX of England and VI of France and promised to pay tribute to the Holy Roman Emperor.

This was a quick, victorious war. Or would have been one, if not for another, very serious rising of the electors in Germany. Rudolph had to divert forces to face that threat; but meanwhile, a Flemish rebellion started as well, while the French peasantry grew ever more hostile to the Imperials and Henry IX. Sensing that Henry IX might yet be overthrown, Rudolph II, despite his domestic troubles, suggested that Imperial troops be sent to reinforce the French garrisons (and keep a watch on them, ofcourse) in major cities, but it was too late. In 1656, just as Robert Tudor entered London on a white horse, a black horse delivered yet another cadet branch Plantagenet to the gates of the Bastille (which in this world gradually became the center of Plantagenet power - not too illustrious, but very safe... most of the times). Open gates of the Bastille, smirked Henry, Duke of Orleans. He entered and immediately saw the malicious-looking men with masks and daggers. He smirked again and nodded. A hour later, a combination of daring and subtlety (and treason within enemy rank) allowed the Duke of Orleans to smirk once again as he sat down in the throne having deposed Henry IX's dead body from it rather unceremoniously (but Henry IX didn't care, he had a slit throat and an astonished look on his face). Some other dead relatives and courtiers lie around in the room. Henry (the one who still lived, ofcourse) didn't have much time to sit around, there was more violence to do before his power could be secure.

The power of... no, not Henry X, but Francois I. The Duke of Orleans' unorthodox, controversial and very damn confusing (as until a few decades ago, almost as many people still reffered to him as "Henry X", as from the start many simply refused to recognize his new name, including the Pope) gesture of changing his name to Francois as he claimed the throne and issued the declaration of "la guerre de la patrie" against the Imperials was very strange, but then, what was one to expect from a brilliant madman (OOC: an overestimation - he was "merely" quite eccentric. Like Fisher. Actually, come to think of it, Francois I is extremelly similar to John Fisher, with some straks of Gustavus Adolphus and Cardinal Richelieu)? Anyway, Francois took power, called for the peasants to resist the Imperials and deny them food, ordered a general levy, extracted money for his war effort from a few magnates at sword-point, personally organized the defensive preparations at Paris, then suddenly left it for Orleans just before Imperials besieged Paris (their assault, by the way, was a complete failure despite a good fraction of the Parisian garrison consisting of local guildsmen levied to the fight; but then, one doesn't need much training to fire a musket from a wall) and once in Orleans did a revolution in military affairs by creating a modern army (to avoid wasting words, it is similar to the OTL New Model Army, or, closer still, to the army of Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden as used in the Thirty Years War - with the superior organization, emphasis on quality and combined arms doctrine). The Imperial army was good and modern; this, however, was much better and much more modern, if only because it wasn't really modern but, for the time, futuristic, while the Imperials were merely modern. Anyway, the Imperial siege of Paris was broken by the arrival of Francois' L'Armee Nouvelle, and Adolph von Munchhausen's Imperial army was completely broken as well in the ensuing Battle at Montreuil (this one was deservedly famous); though von Munchhausen at first tried to retain order even as his army retreated, and though indeed it seemed as if the trademark Imperial disciplinne had prevailed at first, French cannon-fire (Francois' artillery is worth of particular mention, being very mobile for its time - so Francois was able to drag it up to a good strategic height from where the Imperial columns were well-seen) forced the Imperials to try and spread out to stop being such an excellent target. This ofcourse resulted in disorganization, and allowed Francois' cavalry to charge into the midst of the Imperials and completely break them, slaughtering or capturing the overwhelming majority. Von Munchhausen himself was taken prisoner.
 
Well that was a disaster, wasn't it? The Holy Roman Empire was shaken. Europe was shaken. The electors, that were, since their defeat at Pfeddersheim, quite desperate, suddenly found a new hope and broke off negotiations. And soon after were attacked and utterly beaten by the Imperial forces, as thus far, only the French were capable of beating them. But the fact that ANYONE at all was capable of destroying an entire Imperial army had Rudolph II shell-shocked for hours after he received the confirmation of this defeat, and in a way - for years.

While the Holy Roman Empire was dealing with internal trouble and restoring its balance, Francois all of the sudden did not choose to retake Picardy, but instead, leaving some subordinates (most notably, Charles de la Pole, descendant of the famous Plantagenet general) to defend Paris, marched with his main forces southwards. He invaded Aquitaine, routed the Aragonese army secretly (or so it thought... it was after this occurance that Francois gained extra notoriety for his spy network he had set up back when he was Duke of Orleans, though really, they should've noticed it when he had captured the Bastille so damn easily) assembling to strike at the French rear while the French were supposed to be fighting the Imperials (the Battle at Montlucon, incidentally, was a classical morning camp assault. Yes, that's an official separate type of a battle, because its all about massacring everybody in sight while they still are sleepy. The trick is to attack just in time), and, in a model forced march, took city after city as he marched from Montlucon (where the Aragonese had set up camp) to Toulouse, easily routing the pathetic Aquitainian forces. Jean III fled for Saragossa immediately after news came of the Battle at Montlucon, adding to the confusion. Anyway, before any measures could be taken, the whole of Aquitaine surrendered before Francois' attack.

The Patrie, or French, or Plantagenet Succession War went on. In 1659, an Aragonese army was defeated at Narbonne, Languedoc was quickly added to the French kingdom, a rebellion in Navarre was cheered on, and the Aragonese were prevented from doing anything about it by a Transpyrenean invasion that saw Barcelona threatened, Aragonese forces being shifted to face the threat and then having to put on a good face as they saw no French forces left before them, while listening to a messanger telling of Saragossa being under siege for which it was completely unprepared. After a hour's hesitation, the Aragonese commander tried to defeat Francois. Result predictable, the hasty, badly-planned attack failed badly. So the Aragonese confessed their malevolent plans, turned Jean over to Francois, ceded Languedoc and Roussilon and granted independence to Navarre, which also took over the Basque territories of Aragon.

Francois then hurried home, where things weren't really going as well as he had pretended in the face of his soldiers and Aragonese envoys. After all, the Anglo-Welsh were invading, the nobility was rebelling and the Empire was Striking Back.

Robert Tudor's invasion wasn't really very serious, he only wanted to rule England which he had with so much difficulty conquered, but also wanted a few bargaining cards with which to force Francois' recognition of him as monarch. They bargained for long, but finally, Robert's wife was discovered to have been an adulteress and promptly beheaded, while Francois sent one of his daughters to England. Robert was recognized as king of England; so happy (and so, to be honest, illiterate) he was he didn't even notice that Francois neither recognized his descendants as such nor promised to withdraw his own claims (though if confronted, he no doubt would've recognized and withdrew everything there is to recognize and withdraw and then would've found some way around that anyway if he needed to). The nobility was easily divided and defeated or persuaded to go home quietly and die in a hunting accident soon after upon being discovered as a still-active conspirator despite all the promises made. The Imperials were easier - it wasn't too easy to utterly change a military system unless you were Francois I Plantagenete, and though the Imperials were now much more wary of him, they didn't make any significant changes to counter Francois' tactics. The Imperial army was moving towards Paris. As mentioned, it was wary of Francois, and he knew that wariness is often the same as fear. So he spread rumours through his spies and through the enemy spies as well, rumours that demoralized the Imperials and made them advance slowly, cautiously, carefully towards Paris while Francois avoided them and captured Rheims instead, then marched to take Arras and Amiens, and from there struck out with a small, but very mobile force and crushed into the Imperial lines at Paris from behind, while de la Pole sallied out of the city, and the Imperials were then routed... one of them firing one last shot before turning and running, not living long enough to turn around and realize that he just changed history and killed Satan himself, or at least what the Pope had by then claimed to be Satan's representative on Earth.

Now thankfully Francois left behind himself an army, a spy network and a few lieutenants - none of them were Francois I, but they all learned some basic ideas from him. And very fortunately he left plenty enough children, though alas his eldest son had died a while ago, while the PRESENT eldest one, Alexandre, was 11 years old. Francois' most trusted associates and lieutenants, most importantly his spymaster Philippe Leclerc, formed a Council of Regency and immediately ordered the training of new armies on the existing model, along with actual reorganization of France itself (Francois I had no time to put any modernizing, buerocratic reforms into place, and after the decimation of the nobility France was in a bit of a quandry in that regard, and only now was some buerocracy established; Leclerc made the novel solution of appointing spies as "supervisors-inspectors" that rooted out betrayal and corruption). Meanwhile, envoys were sent to Worms. There, Rudolph was uncertain. On one hand, though the Empire had many resources to spare, suffering defeat after defeat - and not just any defeat, but TOTAL defeat - was both discouraging and quite a drain, especially as the Empire's resources weren't really infinite, especially as far as elite troops went. On the other hand, the "Teufelfranz" was dead, and surely none of his subordinates were his equals; no matter how good the French army was, the Imperial one still could put up quite a fight, especially as it was finally being reformed along "Francoisian" lines. Finally, Rudolph decided to make the following offer - he would recognize Alexandre I the king of France, in exchange for the cession of Flanders. Picardy was returned - and so were the Ardennes, as a gesture of good will. The Council of Regency gave a collective sigh of relief and agreed. This peace deal was a face-saver for Rudolph II, as he both fought to prevent the ascension of Richard IV and to take over Flanders; Richard IV would never rise again at all, much less to the throne, as for Alexandre... he still wasn't Richard IV, which, supposedly, was all that mattered. No, really. He wasn't Francois I neither, he was just a harmless little boy. For now, anyway. And Flanders, Flanders he did get. At least some good came out of this war, in which both sides quite reasonably claimed victory. The Imperials however clearly lost more than they gained - sure, they gained the prosperous Flanders, but they lost a weak neighbour and also lost the security of their western border. Beyond it was an angry, rejunivated, strong France. Temporarily hindered by the regency, and no longer led by that scary genial madman, but still strong. Rudolph II felt the mother of all headaches as he thought about what will happen when France is recovered enough from all this.

Rudolph didn't get nor really deserve the title of "the Great". But he still did have some foresight, and knew the need to plan ahead, and try and stay a few steps ahead of your enemies. Something had to be done to stop France. A coalition had to be assembled. Oh, this one was easy...

Aragon - angry at the humiliating defeat and even more humiliating treaty, fearful of the French Mediterranean potential, even though France didn't have any serious ports at the present. Savoy (by now in personal union with Provence) - subject of the Holy Roman Empire, though one of the few still quite autonomous, and has reasons to fear French designs on its western lands. England - ruled by the Tudors, traditional allies of the Habsburgs, and claimed by the Plantagenets of France. There you go, nice coalition.

France's new monarch Alexandre I matured and was mentored by capable men, especially by the paranoid Leclerc. Alexandre I also became paranoid, which, in general, is a very good quality for any ruler, especially a ruler of a great power, because if you're a ruler of a great power, there most assuredly is a GREAT list of people out to get you. Alexandre I compiled just such a list to the death. On the top of it was the family of Habsburgs, ofcourse. He quite obviously saw through the evil plots of the Habsburgs, and befriended the Iberians and the Kalmarese. That clearly wasn't enough, but there weren't any other candidates apart from Russia and the Ottoman Empire, both of which, apart from their religious infidelities, were also enemies of France's allies. Russia in fact was an ally, though increasingly reluctant one, of the Holy Roman Empire.

Unfortunately, things weren't going too well. Iberia was only beginning to climb out of its crisis (more on that later) under Alfonso IX. The Kalmar Union still was unstable, though actually much better than in the previous centuries; much worse was the fact that it too was surrounded by enemies. And meanwhile, Aragon modernized its army, including Christianized Moors from Aragonese North Africa that formed fearsome light cavalry. Savoy-Provence underwent centralization and generally was being beefed up by the Holy Roman Empire. The situation clearly didn't favour Alexandre I, even as he struggled to further strenghthen his country, especially in the military sphere.

He didn't see the final clash happen, because it was delayed by other events. In the 1679-1680 a few more outbreaks of Black Death took place. In 1682-1686, a civil war in Russia was waged, and the winner, Ioann III, wasn't very keen on the European direction; in fact, he even signed peace on current borders (i.e. with the recognition of Russia's mediocre, but still strategic Caucasian gains) with the Ottoman Empire, and instead concentrated on subduing the Bashkirs and expanding across Siberia (towards 1700, Russian merchants and settlers (often defended by the famous gulai-gorods) reached across the Rifean (OTL Uralic) Mountains and arrived as far east as Yenisey). In the Holy Roman Empire, there was instability after Rudolph's death in 1696; using this, Ottomans tried to take Vienna, but were beaten back. Alexandre I himself died in 1697. The decisive clash between French and Imperial alliances has not yet come, though its probably unavoidable unless, like Russia, the other European powers were to find a new outlet for their resources... but then again, that might just make the long-expected general European war (the first one of a series, perhaps) even more violent and far-fledged.

Despite European fiascos, the Ottoman Empire did quite well in the 17th century, especially from the naval point ofview. In 1642, Sultan Ismail I came to power. A great naval enthusiast (unlike the previous Sultan's other children, a military commander who participated in the Ottoman naval wars with everybody else), he immediately was dubbed "the Shipbuilder" because he, um, built ships. Lots of ships. With the help of the Genoese (who by now had become, much like the Phanarioti Greeks, a special privileged Christian group within the Ottoman Empire, specialized as engineers and seamen) and spies (and particularily vengeful Venetians, who still refused to work with the Genoese themselves, but agreed to help the Ottomans), several great shipyards were built - none quite as good as the Arsenal, but still much better than what the Ottomans had before that. Though one of these "arsenals" was, at great expense, built in Aden, and another - at Basrah, most of them were within the safer, closer Mediterranean ports. That however wasn't much of a problem, as Ismail, at the expense of many slaves and much gunpowder, had ordered... no, not the Red Sea to stand aside, that would've been useless, he did something much better, he - or rather his Genoese engineers - blasted a whole new strait through the Sinai, and called it the Ottoman Strait (OTL Suez Canal, ofcourse). Through it, a huge, very modern Turkish armade patiently assembled by Ismail had passed in 1649. Incognito, Ismail travelled with his fleet, and announced his presence to the shock and dismay of all only when it was too late to turn back. He then took command and Muscat (which was occupied by a small Iberian garrison), and sailed towards Mogadishu. Then to Mombassa. Then to Zanzibar, then to Dar al-Salaam... and so forth with all the Swahili cities. The overstretched, corrupt, decadent Iberian empire was simply unable to resist, and Ismail cut through its territory as through the core of a rotten tree. The Ottoman troops, under naval cover bombardment, assaulted the city, they were supported by the local Swahilis, and all the Iberian soldiers and civilians alike were put to the sword, apart from a few specialists that were taken prisoner and later sent back to Constantinople to help the Genoese - or else.

After the southernmost Swahili city - Kilwa - was taken, the Ottoman fleet established a base on northern Madagascar and then sailed northwards, for India. Near southern India, in 1650, the Iberians finally tried to intercept them, gathering a large fleet taht was meant to surround and trap the Ottomans; but coordination was quite difficult, and so the Ottomans had crushed the several Iberian fleets separately in what came to be known as the Battle Week of February 1650. The Polygarate of Madurai, at Deccan's tip, was promised and granted some assistance against Vijayanagar, and in exchange allowed an Ottoman base to be established at Cape Kanyakumari (the very tip of India itself; OTL Cape Comorin). From there, most of the fleet moved on towards Diu, though a few ships were left to harass Iberian supply, communication and trade routes in the region.

Anyway, Diu was taken as well. And kept. The Sultanate of Gujarat was still a fellow Muslim power, but relations were detiriorating as of late. Gujarat was clearly spoiled by its success under Mohammed III and his son Muzaffar Shah II, who had crushed the Rajputs at Bhinmal and Jodhpur, captured Delhi and Multan and defeated a Quqonid invasion. In short, most of North India was safe in Gujarati hands by 1650 - very safe, as the Gujarati armies were strong and as their buerocracy was very widely-spread. Mild religious tolerance for the Hindus was adapted now that they constituted a large part of the population, but taxes for them were still high, and janissaries still were levied.

And besides, the Ottomans didn't just want to wreck the Iberian power; they also wanted to rule the Indian Ocean. In continuation of this, the Ottomans captured Soccotra and crushed another Iberian fleet in a fierce battle at Zanzibar.

This signalled the end of the Iberian power - east of Africa, anyway. As contact was lost with the Far East and as trade there collapsed under the blows of the Ottomans and the Malay pirates, the Iberians east of Kanyakumari suddenly found that arrogance is not really the best policy. They were hated by most of the people there; the most notable exception was Japan, but it was far away... and didn't care, though the Mikado only gladly employed desperate Iberians as specialists. Elsewhere, Iberian power crumbled, as it was no longer feared. The small garrisons and buerocratic-mercantile communities suddenly found out that they were surrounded by hostile natives. On Ceylon, popular uprisings overthrew the pro-Iberian rulers and threw the Iberians out altogether, many fleeing to Vijayanagara. In Sharanid Bengal, a crowd of disguised soldiers and discontent rebels slaughtered most of the Iberians in Chittagong, and all the others were imprisoned and forced to help Bengal strenghthen - only not for money, but for days of life. Malacca and Atjeh were quite interesting; the Iberians fortified there quite well, and didn't have many enemies, and so under the local governor they had gained de facto independence and defended against the natives, creating a very curious state, especially after the governor's son, Oliveira Ortigao, declared himself "King of the Malays" (said Malays knew him as the "White Rajah"). Intriguingly, by the end of the century, the state survived and even flourished as the Iberian elite knew better than to antagonize the local population, and instead learned to work with it and taking great interest in local culture. The White Rajah also defeated several Malay princes and annexed their lands. "White Malaya" became a regional power in its own right, especially as many Iberians fleeing from elsewhere flocked there. However, the Siamese threat grew in the north - often quite literally, as Ayutthaya, Indochina's hegemon power, conquered Lan Na, Laos and Khmeria, and thus remained challenged only by Dai Viet and Ava, the latter being in the state of chronic civil war.

Macao was confiscated by the Ming Chinese as late as in 1687, when things finally settled down from the wars of mid-17th century. It all begun with the peasant risings in 1620s, combined with the floods, corruption and neglect. Most Emperors of the 17th century were pathetic weaklings, dominated either by eunuchs, either by mystics, either by generals. Ming authority practically disintegrated all over China. This was a particularily bad time for it to disintegrate so, as Mongol raids intensified, and two rising powers begun casting their eyes on China and its vassals - the Later Jin Empire, created by Nurhachi in Manchuria, and the Japanese Empire, where under Mikado Go-Ogimachi absolute divine monarchy was imposed and the military was further strenghthened, in particular by the construction of a great shipyard in Nagasaki. From this shipyard, Shogun Oda Tsunenaga (the Shoguns, under the new direct imperial reign, were now merely primary military commanders) set out on 1624 to invade Korea; Go-Ogimachi seeked to benefit from the Ming weakness and more importantly to start building a great empire, so that the Japanese warriors could, instead of shredding each other to peaces, shred everybody else and leave the Home Islands in peace. Pusan was quickly taken and the Japanese marched out across the country, defeating the clumsy, poorly-organized Koreans in battle after battle. The Ming tried to send an army to stop this, but as fate would have it that army was one of the first victims to Nurhachi's invasion of China (and perhaps the cause - that Ming army moved through territory Nurhachi considered his); the Ming army was attacked, surprised and routed at Beipiao, Nurhachi declared himself the Emperor of China and his forces immediately crossed the border. Another Ming army, weakened by poor morale and corrupt leadership, was defated and Beijing was besieged; inconveniently, the Ming Emperor also died soon after, as did the powerful eunuch Wei when he tried to flee Beijing. Even more inconvenient was Nurhachi's death from old age soon after Beijing's fall. This slowed down things, allowing the Imperial court and the young Chongzhen Emperor to rebase in Nanjing, starting the Nan Ming Dynasty, while the Japanese subjugated Korea, crushing all resistance and eliminating a Korean fleet at Inchon.

Under the benevolent influence of General Yong Chonghuan and several advisors, the Chongzhen Emperor begun to reorganize the empire. The loss of beijing was perhaps a good thing for the Ming dynasty, as it gave it the necessary push that might've turned out to be fatal, but, as it happened, caused it to reform, reorganize and be revived. The rebels were defeated or, in most cases, agreed to lay down arms in exchange for the review of their grievances. Numerous corrupt buerocrats were displaced. Defenses were prepared in Central China, as the north was overran by the Later Jin dynasty, now headed by Hung Taiji. He had established himself well in the north and was already beginning to overrun the Center as well, but in 1637 several things went wrong. A peasant named Li Zicheng started a popular uprising against the Later Jin, distracting their forces and causing them much grief until his betrayal and execution in 1642. Yong Chonghuan defeated a Later Jin army in a general battle at Bengbu, preventing a siege of Nanjing. And finally, an opportunistic Japanese invasion of South Manchuria, though eventually defeated as well, proved quite distracting.

In the end, the Later Jin had to be content with Manchuria and North China for now - the Nan Ming dug in too well behind their "Inner Great Wall" by the time the Later Jin were ready to attack once more, while the Japanese succesfully held their ground in Korea when the Later Jin tried to capture it. However, one must note that the Nan Ming were not at all allied with the Japanese, and in the 1660s waged a naval war with them over Taiwan, which the Japanese won. Bitterness over this defeat and the general shift of their interests to the south and to the sea resulted in the Nan Ming building up a strong fleet, establishing trade ties with Siam and the White Rajah, and also invading Dai Viet, though this invasion was not more succesful than the most, the Vietnamese scythic warfare once more prevailing, with some Japanese assistance. Yet the Nan Ming were not about to give up after the first defeat... After all, the Later Jin didn't give up after the western Mongols eliminated an army of theirs in the Gansu Corridor, and eventually conquered the entirety of "Greater Mongolia", as well as Tibet.

So the East Asian situation, as of 1700, was most curious and had as much potential for all-out war as the European one. And at the sime time, it was much less linear, as there were no real alliances there, and yesterday's allies often found themselves enemies...

And as in Europe, the colonial age was drawing near. In some cases, it already has started. The Iberians now concentrated on expanding and strenghthening their presence in Africa (especially West), the Ottomans, meanwhile, dominated the Indian Ocean, but were not alone due to Indian events, wherein Vijayanagara collapsed, the Deccanese Sultanates were conquered by the Gujaratis, in central Deccan chaos raged as local princedoms squabbled and in the south, the Sinhalese Empire arose. After the collapse of Iberian authority on Ceylon, the Sinhalese overthrew both the Europeans and the Tamils. Under a great leader, Dutupanam I, Sinhala ascended, building a great fleet and conquering the southernmost India, defeating the small Ottoman garrison at Kanyakumari. Using deceit, the Sinhalese defeated another Ottoman fleet in 1694 (though ofcourse it wasn't the Great Fleet of Ismail; his successors spread it out across the Ottoman Empire instead of keeping it together, nor was there a real need to unite it until 1696, when, however, no naval attack came from the Imperials, them being too busy preparing for a war with France). The Sinhalese also begun building a colonial empire, clashing with the Bengal over the Andaman Islands. The White Malays warred in western Borneo and central Sumatra, while opposing them, the Javanese Sultanate of Mataram built up a successor state to Majapahit, expanding into southeastern Sumatra, southern Borneo and to the eastern islands as well. Mataram wasn't too strong, stable or advanced, but it was quite wealthy and had much potential. Finally, China, Dai Viet and Japan alike have been eyeing the primitive-inhabited "Luzonian Islands".

The Greater Colonial Age (as opposed to the Lesser, Iberian one) was only beginning, and none could predict back then to where it all will lead...

---

OOC: Will do links now, and if I find the time a map and a summary.
 
Amazing, so amazing. Das, you should be an author, your eloquence is unmatched, your intelligence astounding.

And I call Affalon, whomever does this(if it survives, I get the horrble feeling it won't, because the Irish always get conquered:( )
 
That's an awesome timeline. This one needs to be modded by you. NESII VII?
 
Arisgabháil!!!!!!!!!!

And Das, if you don't restart ITNES, you should mod this. This is simply on of the best timelines i've ever read. Its amazingly detailed, truly worthy of Dashood!
 
The Links for the Anticolumbian Althist:

15th Century:
End of the Hundred Years War
Catholic Renaissance and Turk Wars I
Turk Wars II: the Italic Campaign, Louisian War and the Aftermath

Early 16th Century (Old World):
War of Burgundian Succession
Turk Wars III, with an Interlude in the Middle
Turk Wars IV: The Empire Strikes Back, the Lesser Colonial Age and the Indian IT

16th Century (New World):
See Above

Late 16th Century (Old World):
Revenge for Barbarossa and the Return of the Tsar
Plantagenetischendammerung, Oda Nobunaga and more fun in India

17th Century:
Golden and Dark Ages of Transoceania, Peace, Plague and War in Europe
The Great Anticlimax, the Iberian Defeat in Asia and the Rise of Asian Colonialism

How ironic that the first post of the last installment of this althist should be number "1492". ;)
 
That was the last installment:( But.....i have nothing to live for now. :joke:

But, i know I might get lambasted for saying this, but you should update VI once or twice, then close it and open this as Nes2 VII, when you get back from Prague, city of chicks.
 
Technically Disenfrancised wanted to mod this.

Prague, city of chicks.
Click to expand...

That's a very original definition Chip, most people I know, myself included, consider it "Prague, the City of Defenestration, Beer and Necromancy".
 
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