*Bright Flash*
*Blinding Flash*
*Eyeball-Incinerating Flash*
"Ouch!"
Two penguins sitting in a decrepit, metal room looked up.
"Iggy?"
"Uh... yeah."
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I felt like dropping in."
"Without a teleport?"
"NESers can do that."
"Ahh... really? Wait. Can you bring in Penguinska now then? I'd love to get off this stupid world. I can't believe we rolled a start nowhere near icecaps!"
"You chose your crash site here Risk."
"SILENCE!!!"
"And I'm not allowed to summon Penguinskan forces to cause too major changes. The most I cann do is come here and record this."
"You're recording this?"
"Why not? So, how are things going anyway?"
"Hard to tell. I haven't seen the surface of the earth for a few centuries."
"WHAT!?!"
"Well, no screenies. Apparently we've expanded a lot in the south, or something like that."
For a few moments, there was an awkward pause.
"So..." began Iggy, "Things are OK then?"
"Yeah. Pretty much. How are things in the other dimensions doing?"
"Well, Tkip and Itzel Stexyl are presumably still falling into a ridiculously large gorge. The Ottomans got the crap beaten out of them..."
Risk winced.
"...then got taken over by an ally..."
Risk winced again.
"...then shattered apart in the BT..."
Risk convulsed.
"...and got taken over again..."
The penguin collapsed.
"...by none other than the Byzantines."
Risk suddenly leapt up.
"IGGY!!! YOU SUCK!!!"
"Not my fault. I had to go on vacation."
"It's still twice in a row. And the first time you got beaten by the FRENCH!"
"Persians."
"The guy had a musketeer."
"Thlayli? He's a good NESer. I just had the bad luck-"
"Of being on vacation! Competitive Speed Skating in the Calgary Oval is not as important as sending NES2 V orders for the Ottoman Empire."
"My parents would beg to differ Risk. Wait- how did you know where I'd gone?"
"Because you're writing my lines Iggy. I have to say what you type."
"Your LINES?"
Iggy and Risk both broke out into raucous laughter.
The silent penguin, who had been examining maps and charts in a dirty corner of the room lit with a dim incandescent bulb, spoke up.
"Guys, that's not funny. There are probably plenty of good jokes you could make with LINES the NES and the word 'lines', but that's not one of them.
"I wrote LINES." said Iggy, bursting into laughter.
"I wrote LINES II." responded Risk.
The second penguin, Navv, stared down at the two hysterical figures.
"Okay, the second one was kinda funny-"
"Because 'LINES II' is pronounced like... 'lines too!'"
"It's not as funny when you explain it Risk."
"But what if you didn't-"
"I got the joke Risk. Seriously, shouldn't you be doing something right now?"
"No actually. The next turn isn't for about another 12 years."
Iggy got up and looked out a flickering viewscreen to see two workers performing the motions of digging a hole, but with no apparent changes to the surrounding geography.
"So you have to wait all those years before you do anything?"
"Pretty much."
"Sounds boring."
"Well, I keep myself entertained by telling jokes."
"To yourself." cut in Navv.
"If necessary. I also write a webcomic."
"A webcomic? How do you do that here?"
"Well, the computers are almost all dead... so I carve them into clay then harden them with that kiln over there."
"That's the reactor Risk."
"Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to. They both dry out clay. Besides, I'm pretty sure it didn't get too badly damaged in the crash.."
"Heheh, yeah." said Iggy, edging towards the far edge of the room, "Anyway, how the heck is it a webcomic if it's not on the internet?"
"Once we've completed the Internet Wonder, it'll be on the internet."
"Wouldn't you be too busy working on spaceship parts and the Apollo Program to do that?"
"SILENCE! Stop hurting my twisted logic."
"Fine... anyway, I'd best get going. I'll drop by in a while maybe."
"Seeya."
Just before Iggy disappeared, a third penguin burst into the room.
"Wait! You didn't introduce m-"
And Iggy was gone.