Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[Ziggy Stardust]

Butchered.

 

[holy king]

cheap, so i have more money to spend on alcohol.

 

[Mise]

I like my women like I like my meals: picked up from a dodgy kebab shop after a night of heavy drinking.

(thanks hk for inspiring that one...)

 

[Zack]

In bed.

Seriously, no one said that one yet?

 

[Lord Baal]

I like my women like I like my meals: picked up from a dodgy kebab shop after a night of heavy drinking.

(thanks hk for inspiring that one...)

Sorry I've been gone guys. Father-in-law had to have emergency surgery. He's fine, before anyone asks. Benign tumour.

Mise wins with this. You're up!

 

[Mise]

Dunno we've done this before, but...

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems:

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

Dunno we've done this before, but...

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems:

This is too easy...


I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems: lets me go downtown 6 times a day.

 

[dwaxe]

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems: fits thousands.

 

[Fr8monkey]

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems: Being ridden by hundreds pf people a day for the price of one ticket.

 

[Zack]

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport systems: Big, black, and fast.

 

[Lord Baal]

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport system: inefficient, government-funded, broken-down and always late.

 

[LAnkou]

I like my women like I like my metropolitan transport system: opened to both sex...

 

[Mise]

I choose F8monkey for the imagery.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Thank you, Mise.

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and ___________________.

(fill in the blank; but you knew that...)

 

[aronnax]

Thank you, Mise.

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and ___________________.

(fill in the blank; but you knew that...)

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and it ran over my mother-in-law.

On second thought, I think I'll keep it.

 

[LAnkou]

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and some circus in town proposed me to join their clown team...

 

[Zulu Impi]

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and all the midgets pushing it were gone.

 

[mechaerik]

Thank you, Mise.

I need to get a new car. Today I tried to start it and ___________________.

(fill in the blank; but you knew that...)

this happened:


Link to video.

 

[Fr8monkey]

That's it!! You pulled the "Mythbusters" card, mechaerik... You win.

Spoiler :

That explosion is still my favorite.

 

[mechaerik]

First win!

Ok, here it is:

Your momma's like a sitcom: