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Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Narz, Aug 19, 2009.

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  1. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    Stamford Bridge
    Yo mama is like a flat Pepsi: Goes down easy on desperate nights only
     
  2. Atrebates

    Atrebates Prince

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    Jul 1, 2005
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    330
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    Berkshire UK
    Your momma is like a flat Pepsi: someones already been there so long ago that the package is nasty and insipid.
     
  3. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

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    Behind the man behind the throne
     
  4. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    Location:
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  5. Atrebates

    Atrebates Prince

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    Berkshire UK
    Yo mama is like New Years' Eve : Has some flashy bangs half-way through but you still wake up with a massive headache
     
  6. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

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    Yo mama is like New Years' Eve: Pretty fun after some heavy drinking, but after it's over, you find absolutely nothing has changed in your life, and it all feels like a fluke.
     
  7. admiral-bell

    admiral-bell Chronic Lurker

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    Yo mama is like New Years' Eve, she only comes once a year, but when she does there are fireworks.
     
  8. Fugitive Sisyphus

    Fugitive Sisyphus Escape Artist

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    Florida
    Yo mama is like New Years' Eve: Not worth experiencing without consuming lots of alcohol.
     
  9. warpus

    warpus In pork I trust

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    :lol:

    You win.
     
  10. admiral-bell

    admiral-bell Chronic Lurker

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    :king:
    Very well then.

    My life is like my house:
     
  11. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

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    It goes up in flames more often than I'd like.
     
  12. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

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    In the world of tomorrow!!
    My life is like my house: Owned by someone else! :(
     
  13. classical_hero

    classical_hero In whom I trust

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    My life is like my house, big on the outside, but full of trash on the inside
     
  14. admiral-bell

    admiral-bell Chronic Lurker

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    Your turn random nerd.
     
  15. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

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    I like my women like I like my resume.
     
  16. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    Little substance, with lots of padding, and done by my girlfriend.
     
  17. Zack

    Zack 99% hot gas

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    insert joke
    pleasing to the eye
     
  18. admiral-bell

    admiral-bell Chronic Lurker

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    Lauding my best qualities while not mentioning my failings.
     
  19. _random_

    _random_ Jewel Runner

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    :goodjob:
     
  20. Lord Baal

    Lord Baal Deity

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    Sweet, I won. Okay, now to think of something.

    I like my women like I like my artwork.
     
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