Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[warpus]

Yo mama is like a flat Pepsi: Goes down easy on desperate nights only

 

[Atrebates]

Your momma is like a flat Pepsi: someones already been there so long ago that the package is nasty and insipid.

 

[_random_]

Yo mama is like a flat Pepsi: Goes down easy on desperate nights only

 

[warpus]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve

 

[Atrebates]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve : Has some flashy bangs half-way through but you still wake up with a massive headache

 

[_random_]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve: Pretty fun after some heavy drinking, but after it's over, you find absolutely nothing has changed in your life, and it all feels like a fluke.

 

[admiral-bell]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve, she only comes once a year, but when she does there are fireworks.

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve: Not worth experiencing without consuming lots of alcohol.

 

[warpus]

Yo mama is like New Years' Eve, she only comes once a year, but when she does there are fireworks.

You win.

 

[admiral-bell]

You win.

Very well then.

My life is like my house:

 

[_random_]

It goes up in flames more often than I'd like.

 

[Fr8monkey]

My life is like my house: Owned by someone else!

 

[classical_hero]

My life is like my house, big on the outside, but full of trash on the inside

 

[admiral-bell]

It goes up in flames more often than I'd like.

Your turn random nerd.

 

[_random_]

I like my women like I like my resume.

 

[Lord Baal]

I like my women like I like my resume.

Little substance, with lots of padding, and done by my girlfriend.

 

[Zack]

I like my women like I like my resume.

pleasing to the eye

 

[admiral-bell]

Lauding my best qualities while not mentioning my failings.

 

[_random_]

Little substance, with lots of padding, and done by my girlfriend.

 

[Lord Baal]

Sweet, I won. Okay, now to think of something.

I like my women like I like my artwork.