Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

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Love is like Lightning: It strikes totally unexpected, and you wake up from the coma 1 month later totally covered in sores.
 
Not bad for the day my fiancee and I had a massive fight, huh?

Here's a topical one for all of you:

Life is like the Australian election....
 
Life is like the Australian election: You think people actually give a crap about you, but they don't.
 
Life is like the Australian election: no one cares what's going to happen, and those who do, don't know
 
Life is like the Australian election: You think people actually give a crap about you, but they don't.

Life is like the Australian election: ...

Screw it, I can't beat that.
 
Life is like the Australian election.... I have no idea what's happening.
 
Life is like the Australian election: in spite of everything, it still looks like the woman is going to lose.
 
I like my women like I like RPG walkthroughs: always available, and making you feel like you can do anything.

Hey, it's 7 o clock on a Saturday, best I can do...
 
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