Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[Japher]

USA: Kicking Arse Since 1774 (except for those years from 1955-1975)

 

[dwaxe]

USA: where tax cuts employ everyone, correct recessions, cause stable 20% yearly growth, pay for two wars, and spawn a magical golden pony that'll fly across America and give free candy to everyone.

 

[Yared]

The USA: Where some countries might ride horses, we ride obese children.

It's hard to go wrong with obese-American jokes. A little schadenfreude to spice up the day.

(HC's is good too)

 

[nonconformist]

The USA: Where?

 

[Fr8monkey]

The USA: where we pick online contest winners quickly...

 

[Yared]

Wait. How long was I supposed to wait?

 

[Zack]

24 hours.

 

[dwaxe]

You can pick submissions after 24 hours though, for previous winners have done so.

 

[KaiserElectric]

USA: Where 20% of us make the other 80% look bad.

 

[kill fire]

I'm somewhat confused at the moment.

 

[Zack]

Yared, it's been almost a week...

The deadline is supposed to be about 24 hours.

 

[Yared]

Well...

Kill Fire, go go go!

 

[Bobbtjoe]

Well, KillFire's not gonna do it, I will.

Life is like two camels in a tiny car...

 

[Zack]

Life is like two camels in a tiny car: uncomfortable and smelly.

 

[Lord Baal]

Life is like two camels in a tiny car: a lot of fun, but very, very confusing.

 

[KaiserElectric]

Life is like two camels in a tiny car: A really bad practical joke.

 

[Bobbtjoe]

Life is like two camels in a tiny car: A really bad practical joke.

We have a winner.

 

[Zack]

I'll go ahead and start the new one.

Eastern Europe is like Michael Vick:

 

[Yared]

Eastern Europe is like Michael Vick: If it got nuked, nobody would care.

 

[Lord Baal]

Eastern Europe is like Michael Vick: incarcerated for the public good.