I am an old, frail man. I have seen many years on this queer place we call earth, many joys, many sufferings, many deaths. But I am not one who has been a mere spectator. Much of the joy, much of the suffering, and too many of the deaths have bee because of me.
I thought I had put that behind me. I went to Austria, for a vacation, to take water at one of their spas. All I wanted was to live out the rest of my brief life in the least amount of pain possible. Alas, for one such as me, peace is only a dream, a few moments of blissful ignorance that shatters upon waking in the real world.
And so it was, that the world became mad again. Or perhaps it is war that is the worlds sanity, and peace only occurs during its rare periods of insanity. And Austrian soldiers barged into the spa and arrested me. Me! If I had the strength I would chuckle. What am I? I am a broken down war-horse, fit for nothing but to be retired to the pasture. And yet people remember me as I used to be, and they fear, or respect, what I once was, thinking that is what I still am. Emperor Josef, of course, was outraged at hearing how I had been arrested and ordered me released, putting me on a special train to Orşova where I crossed the Danube into my homeland.
And there, the people clamored for me to lead the defenses. Prince Alexander, of course, is real the commander-in-chief, but he is inexperienced, and they clamored for someone more experienced to take real control. Of course, who is more experienced than I? Experience, I have found, is a pleasant euphemism for old age.
And so they gave me command, despite the fact that instead of being on the field, where my troops are, I am stuck here, in a hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses, not aides and officers. Instead of walking the grounds, seeing the terrain, and planning my defenses, I sit here, with a map spread out on my lap, arbitrarily sending units here and there based on the rough scratches of a pencil. The concentration and deployment of troops, I have found, can be done remarkably fast and easy, on paper. But paper is only paper, and wars are fought, not on paper, but on vast battlefields, not with pencils, but with guns.
I am an old, frail man. I do not want this command, but yet I do my duty, as a soldier must. And with every stroke I draw on the map in front of me, I am condemning more and more soldiers, young men in the prime of their life, to die. This is the supreme irony of war, that the old and frail live while the young and strong die.