Do men/cats really want hugs?

[Snerk]

I like hugs. Even from humans. Cat hugs cannot be trumped though.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Okay, you got me. Remember when you said all that stuff and I flat-out told you that I don't believe you operate that way normally? Well, now you've proved it.

If you could find me that specific exchange I'd be interested to re-read it.

Edit: Although having said that, it has nothing to do with this thread so I'm not talking about it here.

 

[Ryika]

So a female friend of mine has just told me that a male friend of hers (not me obviously) asked her for a hug, and then proceeded to feel up her posterior. Needless to say he got told off and they are not currently speaking.

A very offensive tactic; morally questionable, but no doubt he has managed to be stuck in her head, and once things have settled down, he might actually benefit from it. Don't be surprised if they marry in a year or so.

@topic:
I think men when it comes to man-woman-hugs, men want to give hugs more than to receive hugs.

But this preferences for giving hugs over receiving hugs in the male population, has likely led to a situation where men who want to receive hugs are holding back on it because of how it might make them look, and more openness to allow guys who want to get a hug would be a good thing.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Cat hugs cannot be trumped though.

One of my cats went through a phase where she wouldn't eat unless I picked her up and hugged her after putting the food in the dish. After I put her down, she'd eat her food.

 

[Snerk]

One of my cats went through a phase where she wouldn't eat unless I picked her up and hugged her after putting the food in the dish. After I put her down, she'd eat her food.

Sounds like a win win!

If my cat and dog could describe me they would probably say "that thing that is always hugging us". Luckily they don't mind hugs at all!

 

[rah]

Much to our disappointment, neither one of our cats "appreciate" hugs. Ungrateful little brats. They do appreciate our undivided attention though, and Feeding, playing, scratching, sprawling all over us at night, cleaning up after then, buying them over expensive cat structures, etc. BUT A SIMPLE HUG, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Manfred Belheim]

A very offensive tactic; morally questionable, but no doubt he has managed to be stuck in her head, and once things have settled down, he might actually benefit from it. Don't be surprised if they marry in a year or so.

Stuck in her head? Not sure what you even mean.

@topic:
I think men when it comes to man-woman-hugs, men want to give hugs more than to receive hugs.

Yes probably true. In this case he was the one saying he wanted a hug, which made it seem weird to me. And clearly a ploy in hindsight anyway. The context was that they were sat in a public place and hadn't even been talking, it wasn't after a heart-to-heart or anything.

 

[Snerk]

Much to our disappointment, neither one of our cats "appreciate" hugs. Ungrateful little brats. They do appreciate our undivided attention though, and Feeding, playing, scratching, sprawling all over us at night, cleaning up after then, buying them over expensive cat structures, etc. BUT A SIMPLE HUG, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yeah that differs a lot from cat to cat. With some cats you may need to initiate a relentless hug regime at kitten levels to ensure at that least feline apathy towards the human hugs is established in the cat.

 

[Senethro]

A very offensive tactic; morally questionable, but no doubt he has managed to be stuck in her head, and once things have settled down, he might actually benefit from it. Don't be surprised if they marry in a year or so.

Jesus christ.

 

[rah]

Yeah that differs a lot from cat to cat. With some cats you may need to initiate a relentless hug regime at kitten levels to ensure at that least feline apathy towards the human hugs is established in the cat.

Since neither of our older cats liked them we have tried with our newest one since she was a kitten, with no appreciable effect (at least 8 months in). But she was a rescue so you never know if they suffered before. She doesn't meow, just an occasional tiny squeak.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I've never known a cat that liked to be picked up and hugged. The general response was locking out their front legs (possibly pushing against your face) to maintain maximal body distance. Usually liked to sit on your knee though.

 

[Ryika]

Stuck in her head? Not sure what you even mean.

Well, he did something that was completely unacceptable, and she now probably every now and then thinks about the thing he has done, and has an emotional reaction (anger) to it.
This gives familiarity to him, and once the offense is forgiven - assuming it will ever be - she will likely be more aware of his presence than she was before which then opens an avenue for a relationship.
One that would probably not a stable one, and likely not one that's good for her, so keep an eye out for that and be a supportive voice for reason, should she show signs of attraction towards him!

Yes probably true. In this case he was the one saying he wanted a hug, which made it seem weird to me. And clearly a ploy in hindsight anyway. The context was that they were sat in a public place and hadn't even been talking, it wasn't after a heart-to-heart or anything.

Yes, it seems weird. Spontaneous conversions are usually not a thing.

 

[Lexicus]

If you could find me that specific exchange I'd be interested to re-read it.

Edit: Although having said that, it has nothing to do with this thread so I'm not talking about it here.

So because I'm not presiding over a court of law, I should feel free to have incredibly lax standards for how I choose to make judgements about people? You mean... just like lynch mobs do? "Hey that guy said that guy did something bad, LYNCH HIM!" It's really sad that you think that's a reasonable way to behave. Those standards apply in a court of law because they're the absolute best moral standards to adopt in general, not because they're some weird abstract thing that can only apply in legal cases. You're free to ignore them in your own personal decision-making if you like, but that's not a badge I'd choose to wear proudly.

Presented without commentary.

I like hugs. Even from humans. Cat hugs cannot be trumped though.

My parents' kitten loves being hugged and gives lots of kisses

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Well, he did something that was completely unacceptable, and she now probably every now and then thinks about the thing he has done, and has an emotional reaction (anger) to it.
This gives familiarity to him, and once the offense is forgiven - assuming it will ever be - she will likely be more aware of his presence than she was before which then opens an avenue for a relationship.
One that would probably not a stable one, and likely not one that's good for her,

Well true I suppose. I mean I've been happily married for 17 years to the guy who mugged me...

so keep an eye out for that and be a supportive voice for reason, should she show signs of attraction towards him!

Erm, well... thanks for your concern (if that's what it is), but I don't think I'll be planning too much for that eventuality.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Since neither of our older cats liked them we have tried with our newest one since she was a kitten, with no appreciable effect (at least 8 months in). But she was a rescue so you never know if they suffered before. She doesn't meow, just an occasional tiny squeak.

Some rescue cats have experienced a lot of trauma. Sometimes all it takes is for their beloved human to die and after that they're shuffled around and nobody bothers to try to connect with them. The cat I mentioned earlier was a stray who had kittens under our back porch. It was when she was pregnant with her second litter that year that she decided to move in with us (after months of careful, patient, and painstaking effort on the part of my dad and me to get her to trust us). I don't know where she came from, and have no idea what she experienced before turning up in our yard. She was approximately a year old at that time, so who knows?

She liked hugs, but they had to be on her terms, and if the hug lasted even a second longer than she wanted, her purrs would turn to growls and then hisses.

It's really important to get kittens socialized to accept hugs and other kinds of physical affection (scratches, rubs, playing, and being spoken to). Even when we decided that certain kittens would be taken to the SPCA (Maggie had 7 kittens that year and we couldn't keep all of them!), we made sure to cuddle and pet them regularly so they would be used to it and accept it as a normal way to interact with humans. So many cats are abandoned or returned to pet stores and shelters because they're deemed "not affectionate" or "unfriendly". The problem may be that the cat just didn't get enough before and can't relate to it in the present, or they might associate it with being abused.

One of the best volunteer jobs I ever had was at a shelter for special-needs cats (those with medical issues, abandonment issues, or other problems). My job was simply to cuddle and pet and play with the cats who were considered adoptable, with the right kind of socialization.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

Presented without commentary.

Some commentary might be good, so that I could see exactly where you're imagining this inconsistency to be. But again, not in this thread tyvm (the thread in question isn't locked I don't believe).

 

[Snerk]

Thread title might need to be changed to "Do cats really want hugs?".

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Thread title might need to be changed to "Do cats really want hugs?".

A few of my cats were male.

 

[Lexicus]

A few of my cats were male.

While we're on the subject of cats, last time I flew to Los Angeles a woman of Chinese descent (probably in her late fifties, early sixties) sat next to me at the gate and started talking to me like we were old friends. I accepted this, and after a few minutes brought up my love of kitties, and it turned out she had a cat too. We both whipped out our phones and started going through kitty pictures, and she kept calling her cat her "handsome boy" which I thought was just the cutest thing ever.

 

[Synobun]

While we're on the subject of cats, last time I flew to Los Angeles a woman of Chinese descent (probably in her late fifties, early sixties) sat next to me at the gate and started talking to me like we were old friends. I accepted this, and after a few minutes brought up my love of kitties, and it turned out she had a cat too. We both whipped out our phones and started going through kitty pictures, and she kept calling her cat her "handsome boy" which I thought was just the cutest thing ever.

It's okay, Lexicus. You can be our handsome boy.