Do men/cats really want hugs?

[Manfred Belheim]

Starts with a story about sexual assault.

Yes. Starts by relating a story I was just told. Pretty much verbatim. HYPERMASCULINE!

Next up this... thing. It is very obviously victim blaming ^^but ^^thats ^^another ^^discussion ^^entirely

Okay. Let's have that discussion. Why is it? GO DODGERS!!! (Are they a team?)

Fellas is it gay to touch another man in any context ever ? Because I mean... you’re literally touching another man

Literally didn't say a thing about men hugging other men. Think you must have imagined that. DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO?!

(Edit: Okay, having re-read I see the confusion here so I'll give you this one. What I meant was, for her the phenomenon of women constantly hugging male friends is commonplace, whereas for me it isn't. Does that make it any better? I mean I know that the answer will already be "no", but hopefully it at least makes it... bad in a different way or something.

Having said that, I do think men are less likely to indulge, or want to indulge, in hugging other men than they are in hugging women. Or than women hugging women. But that's not what I was talking about.)

And then this punchline. I mean surely this is some sort of masterful satire about hypermasculinity right

Er... not sure what to say about that one as I'm not sure what your problem with it is. NO HOMO BRO DUDE BRO.

I do like a good hug.

But on a daily basis, mainly only from my very best friend.

As for cats, I find their little expressionless faces strangely off-putting.

Oh they have expressions, you're just not tuned in to them.

 

[sophie]

I like casual hugs and I do them decently regularly with people I'm close to. The only thing I don't like about casual hugs is that the line of familiarity between handshake/wave and casual hug is really blurry, and it's uncomfortable being in that area where you're unsure which side of the line you fall on.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I do like a good hug.

But on a daily basis, mainly only from my very best friend.

As for cats, I find their little expressionless faces strangely off-putting.

They're only expressionless if you don't know how to interpret them. You need to observe their eyes and whiskers, neither of which are expressionless. In addition, you can tell a lot about what's going through a cat's mind by watching their ears.

In my extensive experience of the cat we own and the kitten we rescued, hugs aren't really a form of affection cats understand or reciprocate. Bunting, soft blinks, nose taps, petting, kneading, but not hugs.

My cat disagrees with you. There are times when I'm sitting here tapping out my posts one-handed because my other hand is helping support my cat after she's crawled into my arms for a hug.

 

[Gori the Grey]

Can't speak for cats. I myself could use a hug right now, as a matter of fact. And I'm a man.

One of you will post one of those hug smilies. But it's not the same, I'm afraid.

 

[Hygro]

One of you will post one of those hug smilies. But it's not the same, I'm afraid.

 

[Gori the Grey]

This site is good for that. Thanks, Hygro. It's not the same. But it's nice all the same.

Oh, wait. What's that third smiley? Why are you hugging me and then backstabbing me. That's not as nice.

 

[Synobun]

This site is good for that. Thanks, Hygro. It's not the same. But it's nice all the same.

Oh, wait. What's that third smiley? Why are you hugging me and then backstabbing me. That's not as nice.

It's acupuncture. I hear it helps!

 

[GoodSarmatian]

In my extensive experience of the cat we own and the kitten we rescued, hugs aren't really a form of affection cats understand or reciprocate. Bunting, soft blinks, nose taps, petting, kneading, but not hugs.

It has been said before, but it really depends on the cat.

 

[Arwon]

I think that's true of just about everything. Our cat likes belly rubs, after all.

 

[Akka]

I like hugs, but they have a somewhat "intimate" feeling to me. I do not, and don't want to, hug strangers or casual acquaintances. I only hug (and only like them if) people I have a definite fondness for. And that's nearly only females (I might hug male friends to show support if they are distressed, though).

So yeah I like hugs, but not with anyone.
Or pets. It's okay to hug pets (if they are physically huggable).

(also, I don't understand the "giving" and "receiving" hugs. Aren't hugs mutual and as such there is no "giver" or "receiver" ?)

Oh I love this thread, only 3 pages in and it's got everything. Controversial post from Valessa. Dragged up old arguments. Random digs at straight men. Extensive aside about cats. The perfect distillation of CFCOT.

I admit, you made me chuckle with this.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

(also, I don't understand the "giving" and "receiving" hugs. Aren't hugs mutual and as such there is no "giver" or "receiver" ?)

I was a bit confused by that too, but I think in the context of someone saying "I need a hug", or of a hug to console/support someone, then the one needing the hug and the consoling is the "receiver", and the person doing the consoling is the "giver". That's how I'm reading it anyway.

 

[Live trash can]

I have never appreciated hugs

for as long as I can remember.

they're "empty"

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Well true I suppose. I mean I've been happily married for 17 years to the guy who mugged me...

now THIS is a story that got my interest piqued.

A very offensive tactic; morally questionable, but no doubt he has managed to be stuck in her head, and once things have settled down, he might actually benefit from it. Don't be surprised if they marry in a year or so.

you creep me the **** out sometimes especially that sweating smiley after the long explanation. something's going on here, I can feel it..

 

[GoodSarmatian]

Well, she' not wrong. Dirty psychological tricks like that work on some women (and men) whether they're intended or not. Pick up-artistry is entirely based on the identification and exploitation of these...let's call them bugs (this is still video game forum).

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I think she's definitely wrong to be confidently predicting that a relationship is likely to follow, rather than stating it as a distant possibility.

 

[yung.carl.jung]

Well, she' not wrong. Dirty psychological tricks like that work on some women (and men) whether they're intended or not. Pick up-artistry is entirely based on the identification and exploitation of these...let's call them bugs (this is still video game forum).

I agree, those kind of "maneuvers" work on precisely the people who cannot see through them. which, in turn, means that pick up artists only really get to date complete oblivious women, which doesn't bother me much

 

[Gori the Grey]

I think she's definitely wrong to be confidently predicting that a relationship is likely to follow, rather than stating it as a distant possibility.

I take the expression "don't be surprised" as indicating no more than a fairly minimal likelihood that something might happen rather than a confident prediction that it will.

The comment was, as has been pointed out, based on a (regrettable) "bug" in human psychology: the bug that if some one tugs at your jugs while giving a hug, you might later (ugh) come to wonder why you dug the repugnant thug.

 

[red_elk]

I agree, those kind of "maneuvers" work on precisely the people who cannot see through them. which, in turn, means that pick up artists only really get to date complete oblivious women, which doesn't bother me much

I'm pretty sure there are many women who perfectly understand this kind of trick and still fall for it.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I take the expression "don't be surprised" as indicating no more than a fairly minimal likelihood that something might happen rather than a confident prediction that it will.

The comment was, as has been pointed out, based on a (regrettable) "bug" in human psychology: the bug that if some one tugs at your jugs while giving a hug, you might later (ugh) come to wonder why you dug the repugnant thug.

Yes but the very fact that that was the entirety of the response to the anecdote in and of itself implies that this is seen as a likelihood.

 

[Akka]

The comment was, as has been pointed out, based on a (regrettable) "bug" in human psychology: the bug that if some one tugs at your jugs while giving a hug, you might later (ugh) come to wonder why you dug the repugnant thug.

I see what you did there

now THIS is a story that got my interest piqued.

Yeah, but he seems to play hard-to-get.
Yet, that has been either too much said, or too little.