Do you have a moustache or a beard ?

[classical_hero]

Those little pics of Stalin, the Vulcan and the other bloke are nothing in terms of evil.

Now, Fu Manchu, he had classy evil facial hair.

Now that is a true expression of evil as seen here.

 

[Whomp]

Moustache only. I could probably sprout a decent beard in a week, my five-o'clock shadow shows up by midafternoon.

Doood.....you're messing up my whole image of mustaches. Now I have to rethink my mustache stereotype and shift you from a "eskimo baby faced dude who says he needs to lose a couple "lbs" but what eskimo doesn't" to Yosemite Sam (the greatest animated 'stache ever btw).

Maybe that's the change the U.S. needs. A president with a 'stache just to get people thinking. Igloo Dude for president!

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Those little pics of Stalin, the Vulcan and the other bloke are nothing in terms of evil..

I don't have any pictures of you, that's why

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Maybe that's the change the U.S. needs. A president with a 'stache just to get people thinking. Igloo Dude for president!

We haven't had one since TR, who was also one of our manliest presidents. Of course, Chester Arthur and Grover Cleveland and them really had the 'stache working for them too.

 

[IglooDame]

Doood.....you're messing up my whole image of mustaches. Now I have to rethink my stereotype of an "eskimo baby faced dude who says he needs to lose a couple "lbs" but what eskimo doesn't" to Yosemite Sam (the greatest animated "stache ever btw).

Maybe that's the change the U.S. needs. A president with a 'stache just to get people thinking. Igloo Dude for president!

But first, "eskimo baby faced dude who says he needs to lose a couple "lbs" but what eskimo doesn't" is a stereotype?

 

[Whomp]

But first, "eskimo baby faced dude who says he needs to lose a couple "lbs" but what eskimo doesn't" is a stereotype?

Ever seen a skinny bearded eskimo? Too many klondike bars methinks.

Eran you have it! It went downhill after Teddy Roosevelt. Wilson started the negative 'stache trend.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Eran you have it! It went downhill after Teddy Roosevelt. Wilson started the negative 'stache trend.

Of course, you are right that WW started the cleanshaven look, but you also reminded me that Taft sported the facial hair. Of course, he weighed 400 pounds or something, so he doesn't count.

 

[IglooDame]

Of course, you are right that WW started the cleanshaven look, but you also reminded me that Taft sported the facial hair. Of course, he weighed 400 pounds or something, so he doesn't count.

And just for the record, when I say I need to lose a few pounds, I'm not being coy. I'm currently at about 230, 5'8", and am one of those people legitimately called "big-boned" (broad shoulders, big hands/feet, etc) so if I can get down to 210 or so I'll be happy.

Not that it's anyone's business, but what the hell.

 

[Rambuchan]

My facial hair grows like a mutherfunka.

This affords the luxury of experimenting some. I used to have a chin goatee (a la Spook above), an underlip goatee (a la Dizzy Gillespie) and a full on beard (allahu akbar). But never a moustache alone. That's just dodgy!

Nowadays, I meet too many people like that guy Whomp, who think those with facial hair have something to hide. So I put myself through the pain of having to shave almost daily, just to prove that I don't, for those punks (and the ladies of course!)

 

[IglooDame]

My facial hair grows like a mutherfunka.

This affords the luxury of experimenting some. I used to have a chin goatee (a la Spook above), an underlip goatee (a la Dizzy Gillespie) and a full on beard (allahu akbar). But never a moustache alone. That's just dodgy!

Nowadays, I meet too many people like that guy Whomp, who think those with facial hair have something to hide. So I put myself through the pain of having to shave almost daily, just to prove that I don't, for those punks (and the ladies of course!)

Dodginess is in the eye of the beholder.

And actually, Whomp is right, where I'm concerned - I have a .380 semiautomatic pistol that I keep concealed.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

And actually, Whomp is right, where I'm concerned - I have a .380 semiautomatic pistol that I keep concealed.

In your beard?

 

[Rambuchan]

Dodginess is in the eye of the beholder.

No, dodginess is invariably on the upper lip of the beholder.

 

[IglooDame]

In your beard?

Umm, in my pants, actually.

and @Ram: Is a stiff upper lip really that dodgy?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Umm, in my pants, actually.

So . . . is that a .380 in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

 

[Whomp]

and @Ram: Is a stiff upper lip really that dodgy?

I think it's dependent on mustache style. For instance, the walrus is less likely to be stiff upper dodgy whereas the Erroll Flynn stiff upper lip is a bit slim shady.

• The handlebar. An impressive, thick mustache that curves upward at both ends. Brings to mind Sherlock Holmes novels and Elliott Gould in M*A*S*H.
  
• The walrus. A shaggy 'stache that droops on both sides. David Crosby sports a walrus. John Wayne Gacy?
  
• The Fu-Manchu. A thinner, wiser mustache with both ends reaching to the chin. Some say Confucius had a Fu-Manchu....and Charlie Manson.
  
• The Zapata. A large, intimidating 'stache that extends down the side of the mouth. Hulk Hogan and Ted Nugent have been seen with Zapatas. Ted shoots stuff a lot.
  
• The Chaplin. A small, rectangular mustache, like the ones worn by Charlie Chaplin, Oliver Hardy and, unfortunately, Hitler.
  
• The Errol Flynn. A trim, pencil-thin 'stache. Scary dude Vincent Price sported a Flynn, and Bob Dylan recently adopted one.

 

[ComradeDavo]

I have a beard. Haven't shaved for a while now. My facial hair grows pretty quickly. I am indeed some kind of half man - half hair monster.

 

[Rambuchan]

Whomp: All those that you mention can be described by at least one of the following, taken from my "Guide to Metro-sexual Facial Hair Etiquette & Generally Being a Freakin' Hero":

Dated > Creepy > Suspect > 'Gay' > Sleazy > Bearing fascist overtones > Good for thigh tickling but precious else.

That last phrase refers to much the same view they take about stiff upper lips btw.

 

[El Justo]

I've think Americans with mustaches are like men who get dressed as clowns. Scary. I always sense that person with a mustache is hiding something. Beards just look really hot.

i agree. totally!

im currently sporting a reddish-blonde goatee (which is a missing option on the poll btw).

i hate to shave - and do so maybe only once a week. fortunately, my light colored facial hair doesn't have that scraggled look. however, by the end of the week, i'm a hairy mess. no worries though as my boss doesn't care nor do i!

 

[Ayatollah So]

Nah, I hate [shaving] too.

I use to have a moustache, my wife liked it. I kept it for about a year, and then shaved it off.

Me three, I hate shaving. But I hate having an itchy beard worse, and it never seems to stop itching if I grow one. Plus, now my facial hair and the hair on my chest is turning white, making me look even more the geezer than I really am.

 

[Turner]

Ever seen a skinny bearded eskimo? Too many klondike bars methinks.

That's a rather racist remark. How many eskimoes have you seen? In fact, I went to school with an Inuit who was rather skinny and had the goatee thing going on.