Does Santa Claus function in a different time-space continuum than us?

[aimeeandbeatles]

I think he does. Discuss.

 

[Cutlass]

Like all fictional characters, they are not of this world

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

SHHHHHH!!!

It's supposed to be a SECRET that Santa's only fictional.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

What?? You mean he isn't real???

heeheehee

 

[Ataxerxes]

Well, consider that he visits most children in the world in one night. Going down the chimney if one is available, breaking in another way if available. Assuming 5 minutes per house by a person in our universe (pretty quick for his weight, but he's experienced and efficient) it would take far too long even if he moved from house to house instantaneoulsy.

So therefore Santa Claus must occupy a different space/time continium than us. Another reason not to annoy him - we don't know the extent of his other powers.

 

[classical_hero]

Not much of an OP.

 

[Catharsis]

Like all fictional characters, they are not of this world

SHHHHHH!!!

It's supposed to be a SECRET that Santa's only fictional.

Look at these two, obviously bitter, evil elves. Did Santa fire you for being evil and making evil toys?

Well your cynical smear campaign won't work, just so long as there are good children like Aimee who believe, you tiny, withered green men.

CFC should introduce captchas to get rid of the evil elves.

 

[Cutlass]

Who says the toys are evil?

 

[Lillefix]

Not necessarily. As long as he works and travels with the speed of light it might work. This might also explain how he gets through thin chimneys. If you travel at the speed of light you become shorter in the direction you travel, so it might be that he vibrates close to light speed while he goes down the chimney and in that way becomes thinner. He may not need to bend time and space to do what he does.

 

[JollyRoger]

Santa is a shill for the coal industry. I'm sure they supply minions to help him out.

 

[Catharsis]

Who says the toys are evil?

Says the elfin psychopath behind 'Inappropriately-Snuggle-Me-Elmo' and 'Eugenics Barbie'. And the yo-yo that only went down, and weighed as much as a thousand suns. And was made of asbestos. So many ruined Christmases.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Who says the toys are evil?

Then explain to the little kids why they found vibrators in their stockings.

 

[Skwink]

No he doesn't. He lives in China. That's where all the toys are made after all.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

The north poll is not in China.

 

[Cutlass]

Says the elfin psychopath behind 'Inappropriately-Snuggle-Me-Elmo' and 'Eugenics Barbie'. And the yo-yo that only went down, and weighed as much as a thousand suns. And was made of asbestos. So many ruined Christmases.

Then explain to the little kids why they found vibrators in their stockings.

I hope you know that Santa only delivers things on your parent's approved list. It takes all of Santa's year to acquire the toys and prepare the naughty and nice list. He relies on the parents to prepare the gift lists.

 

[Narz]

I don't really like the idea of Santa.

My daughter's not even two & a half & already know it's BS.

 

[Skwink]

The north poll is not in China.

I know. I was making a little joke about how everything is made in China.

 

[Adamb0mb]

I don't really like the idea of Santa.

My daughter's not even two & a half & already know it's BS.

What about other magic beings - like the tooth fairy and the easter bunny?

 

[civ_king]

Santa Claus is actually the deeply pious Saint Nicholas of Myra, who God empowers Santa Claus to move incredibly fast, no one is sure exactly how fast he moves, but it is known that Santa Claus moves so fast that six hours for him is only 1 second for us

 

[emzie]

Amiee's posting has gotten better.