Dumb and Stupid Quotes Thread: Idiotic Source and Context are Key.

[Gori the Grey]

It's just punctuated incorrectly. I've fixed it:

"I'm no theologian: I suspect that Jesus would tell that God-fearing, red-blooded American sniper [Chris Kyle], 'Well done, thou good and faithful servant, for dispatching another Godless jihadist to the lake of fire.'"
—

 

[gay_Aleks]

Perhaps my brain is in a slowdown, but I think I'm missing the the joke. Maybe it's because only a person who isn't a theologian would say something so hateful? Or, perhaps, he's a no theologian because he suspects that Jesus would say something like that?

 

[Borachio]

That's not how I read it.

I read: "even though I'm no theologian I'm willing to guess that Jesus would approve this sniper's actions".

Which isn't a joke, and wasn't intended to be a joke.

 

[Gori the Grey]

^Tolni might mean my joke in proposing to repunctuate Starnes' comment. And my joke may have been oversubtle. The colon was to be understood as having the force "and as evidence of the validity of my first claim, I offer this second assertion."

I was trying to make the same point about Starnes as you: that indeed he is no theologian.

Tolni actually did get the joke:

Perhaps, he's no theologian because he suspects that Jesus would say something like that?

Yes, that's what I was driving at.

 

[Tahuti]

I'm no theologian, but I believe Jesus was a Bulgarian!

 

[gay_Aleks]

He'd die for 20 silvers. Hell, he'd die for 10.

 

[Cutlass]

That's not how I read it.

I read: "even though I'm no theologian I'm willing to guess that Jesus would approve this sniper's actions".

Which isn't a joke, and wasn't intended to be a joke.

It wasn't intended as a joke. But it was said by a joke.

 

[Kyriakos]

Varoufakis, the libertarian communist, is coming (to Germany) as if for a dog fight, his shirt not tucked into his trousers, an open collar. He is threatening, he is complaining, he wants victory - above all over Germany. Because of such a scholarly ruffian no one should feel they have to <humancentipedetrivia> their pants, otherwise we&#8217;re bound to lose.

Well, ok, in an online version such dumb stuff always can get posted. But nice touch that this was in the printed version of that national paper

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Euphoric.
"Boy, has this got things backward. Instead of making the case for another religion being a part of the American fabric, we should be stridently making the case that no religion should be associated with American culture, let alone American legal systems -- see the story on the Alabama Chief Justice ordering other judges not to violate Alabama (and Christian) beliefs about the definition of marriage. Is there really a need to bless the horses before a rodeo? When are we going to move past the legitimatizing of superstition, especially superstition that divides much more than it unites?"
-Number23, comment on "The Muslims of Early America", New York Times

Not euphoric.
"They [North Korea&#8217;s detractors] clap their hands and get loud over a satellite picture of our city with not much light, but the essence of society is not on flashy lights,"
-"Right In Front Of Our Eyes", Rodong Sinmun

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Serious business (bolding and italics as in original).
"If a game is in progress, do not interrupt it unless it is an emergency. You are affecting up to 10 people, not just your child."
-Ice Weasel X, Open Letter to Parents of League of Legends Players

 

[Oruc]

"I'm no theologian, but I suspect that Jesus would tell that God-fearing, red-blooded American sniper [Chris Kyle], 'Well done, thou good and faithful servant, for dispatching another Godless jihadist to the lake of fire.'"
—

Fox radio host Todd Starnes

He'd be too busy whipping money lenders half to death

 

[Hygro]

Serious business (bolding and italics as in original).
"If a game is in progress, do not interrupt it unless it is an emergency. You are affecting up to 10 people, not just your child."
-Ice Weasel X, Open Letter to Parents of League of Legends Players

belongs in great quotes imo

 

[Gori the Grey]

^Exactly: You are affecting 10 other children who are playing a game!!! Think about the ramifications of your actions.

 

[Borachio]

Some of those other "children" may not be children. Have we thought about this carefully enough, do you think?

Then there's the parents of those other children, and "children".

Gamers don't exist in a vacuum. Actions. Have. Consequences.

(This is probably why I consider myself morally bankrupt, btw.)

 

[Cutlass]

"Did they only come for lice and petloleum?"
&#8212;

Argentine president Cristina Kirchner, tweeting about investment meeting with China's president and business leaders

 

[Lillefix]

On a Chinese restaurant I was asked if I wanted "flied lice" with that. I just said yes. But I so wanted to say that I wanted some flied lice.

 

[Kyriakos]

"Waaaaaagh!"
Anonymous Ork battle-cry.

Also:

I've a fevah, and the only cure is moar Dakka

('dakka' is onomatopoetic neologism of the sound guns make when fired. Although an ork likely would answer that question in a more abrupt, dakka-style).

 

[Phrossack]

"Did they only come for lice and petloleum?"
—

Argentine president Cristina Kirchner, tweeting about investment meeting with China's president and business leaders

On a Chinese restaurant I was asked if I wanted "flied lice" with that. I just said yes. But I so wanted to say that I wanted some flied lice.

Curiously, Mandarin is full of L's.

 

[Borachio]

But that makes sense.

Are there many "r"s in Mandarin? Or is that Mandolin?

 

[Phrossack]

But that makes sense.

Are there many "r"s in Mandarin?

Oh, you're right. And yes, "r" exists. The currency is the renminbi, after all.