Ever been in the room when someone died?

[Kyriakos]

Since an uncle of mine died yesterday, i was thinking of this.

I was not present at the moment he passed away. Interestingly in Greek (possibly in other languages as well, although i don't think it exists in English) when someone dies it is said that he is "forgiven". This is supposed to mean that all his wrong-doings are brushed aside, so as to allow him to pass to the other side of the river.

This is the third close relative of mine who dies while i am still alive. The first was a grandfather, but he died when i was very young. Then his wife, my grandmother, died when i was in my late teens. And now this uncle. I was not present in any of their deaths, but it is said that the "better" one was that of the grandfather, since he died in his sleep, probably without any pain.

So the question to you is whether you have ever been present in the death of someone (hopefully without causing it ). I recall a couple of short stories by De Maupassant about this issue, how the dead seem to have assumed strange expressions, appear more distinguished or otherworldly. I also remember the description of Father Zosima's death, in The Brothers Karamazov. But i would be interested in stories outside of literature about this issue. So, do share if you have something of note to say, otherwise let it die in vain

 

[Commodore]

It wasn't really a room, but I was present when someone died on several occasions.

 

[muhtesem insan]

in 2007 when i was hospitalized for hypopotassaemia, The guy next bed died. It wasn't a pleasent memory.

 

[Miles Teg]

I have had to stand vigil at the death of several reverse mermaids.

 

[classical_hero]

I almost had the opportunity when my mother died. The night before she died it was rather that at night and the nurses offered me an opportunity to stay overnight, but I knew that I would not be able to sleep during the night if I was still there, so I refused the offer. So the next morning she died, so I was really close to doing so, but thankfully I was able to be the last family member to see her alive.

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

I was present when my grandfathers respirator was turned off. It was really freaky. He twitched and had muscle spasms not to mention his mechanical breathing. We missed his moment of death, he was declared dead when his pulse hit zero but no one was looking at the monitor.

 

[SeekTruthFromFacts]

I was present when my maternal grandmother's life support machine was turned off. My parents were away on holiday, so I had taken her to the hospital when she suddenly took a turn for the worse a few days before. I remember my mother said that my grandmother looked peaceful once she died, and I wasn't entirely convinced. I felt peace and questioning and.... I guess pathos? The sense that it really mattered that my grandmother had died, that something had been done which no-one there could undo. We're both Christians, so it was also mixed with a sense of confidence or gladness that she had stayed faithful to Jesus until the end, and was ready for her reward.

A few minutes later, we realized it was exactly seven years since my grandfather (her husband) had died. In all the confusion and worry, no-one had noticed until then. In my culture, there's an old tradition that a widow shouldn't re-marry until seven years have passed. It seemed a providential symbol of their faithfulness to one another.

 

[NovaKart]

My great-grandmother lived to be 99 and my grandmother said before she died sometimes she saw people in the room when no one else was there. This wasn't immediately before she died but some weeks beforehand. She would ask my grandmother who the people were and why they were there. Other times she saw lots of cats in the room. I guess she was just hallucinating but it would be pretty scary to be alone there when she said that.

 

[Kyriakos]

Good information

I particularly was interested in Novakart's story of his grandmother's narration. Religious people would have been inclined to see the invisible to others people as something divine, such as angels. Also they could be the dead which lay eyes on someone about to meet them

I offer my condolences to all.

 

[Tee Kay]

About a month ago, when my grandmother died.

Actually, I was standing just outside the room.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

My great-grandmother lived to be 99 and my grandmother said before she died sometimes she saw people in the room when no one else was there. This wasn't immediately before she died but some weeks beforehand. She would ask my grandmother who the people were and why they were there. Other times she saw lots of cats in the room. I guess she was just hallucinating but it would be pretty scary to be alone there when she said that.

Did your great-grandmother have Alzheimers? I ask because my grandmother had similar hallucinations (she was convinced her bedroom was full of strange children) and she had Alzheimers.

As for being in the same room at the time of death... one of my cats usually napped at my feet while I was on the computer. She was getting on in years (17.5 years old), and one night she started to twitch and whimper for a couple of minutes, and then died. I know that cats often prefer to be alone when they die, but I feel comforted to know that Lightning trusted me enough to stay with me when she knew her time had come. I held her body and cried awhile, then took her out to my dad's place. He held her for a few minutes, then we wrapped her up and put her in the deep freeze until we could bury her (this all happened late at night).

 

[GinandTonic]

Yeah. They sent my grandfather back to his home from the hospital so he could die. They could have kept him alive for a while if he had stayed in the hospital but clearly it was, probably past, his time. So, with our consent, as soon as there was no specific immediate reason to keep him in the hospital they let him return to a place with no crash carts and IC wards. Me and my mum sat with him until he stopped breathing.

The first time he had had his dignity back in a year or two.

I spent three weeks caring for my grandmother while she was dying. Took her into hospital the night before she died, called all her relatives and told them to get the first train in the morning. You know it's "get in the car now or get the first train" time when the nurses give them the biggest room. As everyone arrived I went out to get a cup of coffee and she died. Kind of sad to have missed the moment, but she had literally said her goodbies to me and told me she was ready.

If you ever have the chance to spend that time with a loved one right at the end it's so worth it. The bit of you that is crawling the walls not wanting to face mortality, to smell death, the part of you that worries about what your boss will think or of the money you will not earn is wrong.

 

[NovaKart]

Good information

I particularly was interested in Novakart's story of his grandmother's narration. Religious people would have been inclined to see the invisible to others people as something divine, such as angels. Also they could be the dead which lay eyes on someone about to meet them

I offer my condolences to all.

Did your great-grandmother have Alzheimers? I ask because my grandmother had similar hallucinations (she was convinced her bedroom was full of strange children) and she had Alzheimers.

As for being in the same room at the time of death... one of my cats usually napped at my feet while I was on the computer. She was getting on in years (17.5 years old), and one night she started to twitch and whimper for a couple of minutes, and then died. I know that cats often prefer to be alone when they die, but I feel comforted to know that Lightning trusted me enough to stay with me when she knew her time had come. I held her body and cried awhile, then took her out to my dad's place. He held her for a few minutes, then we wrapped her up and put her in the deep freeze until we could bury her (this all happened late at night).

My great-grandmother didn't have alzheimers and she was pretty sharp up until the last year she died. At that point she did have some strange behavior, she sometimes would make things up, like say she had visited someone when we knew she hadn't so her mind was going at that point but she was still mostly there.

My great-grandmother and grandmother were both very religious, well my grandmother is still alive and still is. She's one of the few people I know who is deeply religious but not politically so and not fanatical about it. My grandmother didn't think much about what my great-grandmother said she saw, I think it's likely just a hallucination but still very interesting.

It was pretty ironic after my great-grandmother died because my grandfather - her son in law - died about a month after. They had always hated each other so we all laughed about it at the funeral, that they died so close to each other.

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

I found it really freaky when the person stopped breathing. I am so used to seing a persons chest move that seing a person with a chest that didn't move made my mind play tricks on me. I thought I saw breathing all the time.

 

[Dreadnought]

I still have the clock that stopped at the exact moment of my great grandfather's death. A bit supernatural to be sure.

My dad runs an ED and sees people die all the time. He hasn't grown numb to it though.

 

[Glassfan]

Since an uncle of mine died yesterday, i was thinking of this.

I was not present at the moment he passed away. Interestingly in Greek (possibly in other languages as well, although i don't think it exists in English) when someone dies it is said that he is "forgiven". This is supposed to mean that all his wrong-doings are brushed aside, so as to allow him to pass to the other side of the river.

This is the third close relative of mine who dies while i am still alive.

Very sorry to hear that, please accept our sympathy.

 

[Colonel Mustard]

I was present when my grandfathers respirator was turned off. It was really freaky. He twitched and had muscle spasms not to mention his mechanical breathing. We missed his moment of death, he was declared dead when his pulse hit zero but no one was looking at the monitor.

The same happened when my sister died, it certainly wasn't like how it's shown on television with them passing gently away. My over-riding memory is of her 10 year old daughter saying "hasn't she got dead eyes."


I was also present when my mother died of cancer:

I found it really freaky when the person stopped breathing. I am so used to seing a persons chest move that seing a person with a chest that didn't move made my mind play tricks on me. I thought I saw breathing all the time.

^This.

(@ AL_DA_GREAT -sorry for quoting you twice)

 

[Verarde]

No, but I have attended my grandfather's funeral, and a wake. I was really young though, so I didn't understand the full circumstances.

 

[Ramius75]

My cat died in my arms....

 

[Synobun]

I particularly was interested in Novakart's story of his grandmother's narration. Religious people would have been inclined to see the invisible to others people as something divine, such as angels. Also they could be the dead which lay eyes on someone about to meet them

You also have to understand that if your body is getting constantly bombarded by things that are slowly dwindling your life and soul, it also damages your mentality after a while. Hallucinations are common in even non-religious people in their last little part of their life simply because their mind has been influenced by the physical ailments.

I am no stranger to death, and have been present during a few deaths in my short life. It is terrible, but I see no point to mourn. This is why I never attend wakes or funerals. I have no desire to watch a block of wood getting lowered into the ground, nor do I have the desire to watch a mass of black-clothed people crying and standing in misery. I would much rather just... move on in life than stand around crying.