ilduce349
(Financial, Philo)
at the the c-word isn't the p-word...
Glory to Greece: All Trade Leads to Athens
- Thread starter Dhoomstriker
- Start date
at the the c-word isn't the p-word...
Yoshiegg737
Jungo Jungo
Don't worry. If you so happen to find some gold down there, you can have 10 percent of the profits
Oh ok
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
Sub post
bad Yoshi
bad Yoshi
Mosher
Mushroom dad
Hey, great story! 
I would like to be the governor of the next non-governed city, if I could.
Color: RoyalBlue
I would like to be the governor of the next non-governed city, if I could.
Color: RoyalBlue
Optical
The Fall of the Eleventh
And I'll take the next city with Gold, Silver or Gems (as the Treasurer's HQ and so I can be a governor as well )
)
Dhoomstriker
Girlie Builder
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 13,474
Dealing with the Financial Crisis
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): My lord, are we still going to switch research to The Wheel?
Pericles: Tomorrow's Dawn, what luck have you had in bargaining with Mansa for this knowledge?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Unfortunately, Pericles, my good friend, I have sad news to report. While my envoys were not able to convince Mansa to share the secrets of The Wheel, they were able to make small observations of The Wheel's construction, which may help to speed up our domestic research by a marginal amount.
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): Thanks for the help! This information will indeed prove to be useful!
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): These envoys of yours sound like they are my kind of people. We should get some cross-training going on with your envoys and my... ummm... let me just call them "listeners."
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): I would like that very much.
Pericles: Alright, set research to The Wheel. It looks like we will have to do things the hard way.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Prime Minister, it has come to my attention that we are coming close to exceeding our military budget.
Pericles: Wait, who are you again?
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Your loyal Domestic Advisor, at your service. Our empire currently has a population of 6 citizens...
mayor (Governor of Sparta): Surely, there are far more people than that! I mean, there are more people than that in Sparta alone!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): It is a representative number. There are indeed more people than that, but we need some way to count the cattle, so to speak.
hoplitejoe (Miner): Hey, I object!
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Please treat the people with a bit more respect.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Fine. We'll stick with the term that I mentioned earlier: citizens. Anyway, as I was saying, hiring even one more unit will cost us in terms of Unit Costs until we can grow to a population of 9 citizens.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Hmmm, where did you learn all of that math?
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): I had your job in a different lifetime.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Nice! We should do lunch sometime!
Pericles: (Glares at Olaf.)
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Errr, out of my own pocket allowance of dung beetles, of course! Certainly, I would not dream of using the state's treasury! (Actually, yes, I would, but I suppose that I can be frugal in this time of need.)
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): I accept. We could make powerful allies, you and me. Prime Minister, we should also be careful to allow no more than 5 units outside of our Cultural Borders at a time, to avoid incurring Unit Supply costs.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): What about my armies?
Pericles: ilduce349 is right. For now, your mighty Warriors will have to pull double-duty. Still, I know that your capable veteran forces are more than up to the task!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): You sure are right about that! Why, it was only the other day that... (continues to regale the others with a war story, but no one is listening.)
vranasm (Religious Advisor): So, just to let me get things straight, are Missionaries counted in these unit counts of which you speak?
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Yes, all units are counted, including Arrow Hawk and any Work Boats that we send out exploring.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): That's all very interesting, but what has it got to do with me?
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Well, for starters, you will have to do your part in serving the people by keeping our empire's expenses as low as possible. Rather than building a Warrior which will only begin to cost us Gold per Turn, perhaps you can build a Work Boat for eastward exploration, but feel free to take your time in completing it.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): Maybe you can send that Work Boat to me, eventually, too! (Mansa might be more willing to take us over if I can convince him of how well I have prepared the City for his coming!)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): I heard that.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): What? What? I didn't say anything.
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Wait a minute...
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (His heart skips two beats.)
vranasm (Religious Advisor): I thought we just heard that building a Work Boat would run into the same problem, albeit a couple of turns later.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Whieh, they are talking about something else. It looks as if at least the others believed me. I really will have to watch out for that Red_Spy guy, though.)
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Exactly! I opt for building a Barracks, so that my troops will have a nice place to train (and to kick up their feet and hide from their girlfriends and wives when there are chores to be done).
mayor (Governor of Sparta): While we're at it, we might as well work the Oasis instead of the Corn in Sparta. We'll grow to Size 2 at the same time, while growing to Size 3 would just lead to Unhealthiness. So, I can contribute to the empire by first working the Oasis and then, at Size 2, both the Oasis and the Unnetted Clam.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Excellent! Any action that can help to fill the coffers will be of use!
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Mr. President, may I have a word?
Pericles: Nice to see you, Mosher! What concoctions have you prepared for me today? Some more of that strawberry-dung-beetle jam? Perhaps a new form of dung beetle wrap? I could always use another pair of dung beetle sandals...
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Mr. President, I have long been a faithful supplier of your dung beetle needs and accessories. However, today I would like to petition to become one of the City Governors in your empire.
Pericles: I would love to help you out, but all of the City Governor roles are currently filled. We are also facing an economic crisis, a fact of which you are likely well aware, seeing as how you are a merchant. Therefore, at the moment, we can scarcely afford to settle another City.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): True, but I could not help but notice that you have begun construction of a Settler in Athens. Perhaps the City that it is eventually used to create could be led by me?
Pericles: I don't see why not. However, don't expect the City to be founded for quite some time.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): No worries, sir, I can be a patient man.
The Corinth Affair
Narrator: A short while later, in Corinth...
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth) is walking along the City's paths (remember, we don't have The Wheel yet, for streets) when he hears a soft sobbing coming from around the back corner of his home.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Little girl, how may I be of service?
Corinthian Girl: Oh, Yoshi, it's you! (She seems to perk up a bit.) My little kitty cat wandered away to a dark and dangerous place and I can't save her! (The sobbing continues again, with renewed fury.)
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Little Corinthian, where did you last see this kitty of yours? Also, can you describe it for me, so that we may better look for it on your behalf?
Corinthian Girl: (Still sobbing but making a visible effort to look up at Yoshi) Oh, Yoshi, she wandered into a dark mineshaft! Here's a picture of her. You have to save her!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): hoplitejoe, would you mind getting over here?
hoplitejoe (Miner): (Appears immediately.) Hi, Yoshi, how can I help?
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Wow, that was fast!
hoplitejoe (Miner): I am one of the Action Men (G.I. Joes), after all.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Oh yeah, right. Say, would you mind helping out this little Corinthian citizen? It seems that she lost her kitty in a mineshaft.
hoplitejoe (Miner): There are multiple mineshafts. Little Corinthian, do you know which mineshaft it was?
Corinthian Girl: (Sobbing a lot less, staring up at hoplitejoe with shining eyes and hope in her heart) Oh yes, I do indeed. It was the darkest one of them all!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Greedily thinking about the rumoured Gold deposits in the deepest mineshaft of all, the one that even the hardiest of miners would not go near) Are you sure that it wasn't the deepest mineshaft, the one that is rumoured to lead straight to heck, where a host of monsters await?
Corinthian Girl: Oh no, not that one, I am quite certain.
Diablo: Darn it all to... well... darn it all to "here!" I could have used another would-be-hero's corpse to keep the fires going.
hoplitejoe (Miner): I know just the place that you mean! I will head over there immediately. Worry not, little Corinthian, we shall save your kitty cat.
Naming the Greek Cities
Narrator: Elsewhere in the empire...
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Wasn't the third City in the Greek empire supposed to be named Thermopylae, not Corinth?
Narrator: That was back in Vanilla. Now, they have moved the 4th City of Corinth up to 3rd place.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Yet another spam post.)
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): So, does Delphi still come next in the list?
Narrator: No, they replaced it with Thebes. However, we know that Egypt is in the game, and Thebes is their capital. So, that City name might just get skipped.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Does ANYONE know the name of the next City?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): The prophets foresee that it will be called Argos.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): What happened to Pharsalos? Also, what about Knossus?
Narrator: They are still on the list, but they will come later. Look, do you want the job or not? You can deal with whatever the City is named at the time of founding.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): I choose to accept the position of the future Governor of "Maybe Argos, Maybe Not"!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): :facepalm:
Barbarian Archers
Arrow Hawk (Scout): Sire, I regret to inform you of the presence of Barbarian Archers.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): I need more troooooooooooops!
Pericles: I shall consider your very politely-stated request...
mbkkbm (War Advisor):
Pericles: ... when the financial crisis is over or when our existing troops begin to be overrun, whichever comes first. In the meantime, make the best of what you were given.
Arrow Hawk (Scout): It is getting rather hairy out here. I may not be able to continue to dodge the Barbarians for much longer.
Making the Most out of the Planned Completion of The Wheel
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Prime Minister, maybe we could put that Settler on hold for a while and can aim to complete a Worker on the turn that we learn The Wheel, so that we may speed up the Trade-Route-connection process.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): My Settler... noooooooo!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Worry not. While you wait, and, in fact, anytime in the future, you are always welcome in my home, where you can meditate and be one with the universe.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): Don't you have a Temple or a Monastery or something like that to go to?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): What a delightful imagination you have! I will have to have a talk with FunkyBike1 on that subject one of these days.
Ripcord (the Worker): Controller, the latest Mine has been completed.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): I suppose that we might as well work it, to grow the City a tiny bit, instead of focusing solely on that Barracks.
A Missing Hero
Ripcord (the Worker): Say, has anyone seen hoplitejoe? He didn't show up for our regular mealtime together.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Gulps to himself, then pours on the charm) I'm absolutely certain that he'll be more than fine. Worry not, my good friend. He must just be banking some solid overtime hours in preparation for that holiday that you two were planning.
Ripcord (the Worker): What holiday?
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Uhhh... Here! Have a dung beetle cookie!
Ripcord (the Worker): Ooohhh, yummy, my favourite! (Promptly stops worrying about hoplitejoe, for surely, Yoshi must know what he is talking about.)
mayor (Governor of Sparta): As promised, Sparta is doing its part to help the floundering economy.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Hooray! Our Cultural Borders have expanded! Time to work that Fish!
The First Exotic Trade Good is Discovered--by the Vikings
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, my friend, I have just returned from a short stay with the Vikings. It seems that several turns ago, they began to harness an exotic good.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Ah ha! There's an excuse for war if I have ever heard of one!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Actually, it looks like you have other troubles to deal with first, closer to home.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Ah, worry not. My troops can take on those Barbarians on any day of the week! (Errr, I hope!)
A Hideous Eyesore or a Promise of Future Shrines?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, I rushed home as quickly as I could!
Pericles: What news, bring you, Tomorrow's Dawn?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, my good friend, Mansa's citizens have been parading up and down their paved streets.
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): We can build streets of our own, now, too!
Pericles: While that news is indeed excellent, I think that you missed Tomorrow's Dawn's main point. Why the parade?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Mansa has put together a towering, yet hideous, and altogether astounding series of stacked rocks. I can do nothing but stare at it and Wonder...
Narrator: Oh, so punny. :facepalm:
vranasm (Religious Advisor): This news is excellent! Mansa will surely begin to build Holy Shrines for us now!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Indeed, we must simply bide our time and wait for the right opportunity to strike.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Unless Mansa gets to us first, heh heh heh.)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): (Shoots a glare at mayor.)
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Retreats into his hidey hole.)
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Well, I suppose that there is no sense in being too hasty. We might as well try and at least get some Fortification bonus before fighting against these Barbarian forces.
vranasm (Religious Advisor): I would also like to point out that Judaism has spread to Athens! Should we have need of +1 Happiness, we will have the option to adopt that Religion. However, since this Religion is not currently shared by Mansa, I would suggest that we wait on the decision of whether to convert or not until some time in the future.
Narrator: Will we stick with researching Writing next, even though neither Mansa nor Ragnar has learned it first?
What has happened to hoplitejoe and the lost kitten--has Yoshi doomed our hero to an early grave?
Will mayor be able to hold back his enthusiasm or will he inadvertently reveal his plans to more than just the ever-watchful Red_Spy?
Only the future holds the answers to these and many more unasked questions!
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): My lord, are we still going to switch research to The Wheel?
Pericles: Tomorrow's Dawn, what luck have you had in bargaining with Mansa for this knowledge?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Unfortunately, Pericles, my good friend, I have sad news to report. While my envoys were not able to convince Mansa to share the secrets of The Wheel, they were able to make small observations of The Wheel's construction, which may help to speed up our domestic research by a marginal amount.
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): Thanks for the help! This information will indeed prove to be useful!
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): These envoys of yours sound like they are my kind of people. We should get some cross-training going on with your envoys and my... ummm... let me just call them "listeners."
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): I would like that very much.
Pericles: Alright, set research to The Wheel. It looks like we will have to do things the hard way.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Prime Minister, it has come to my attention that we are coming close to exceeding our military budget.
Pericles: Wait, who are you again?
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Your loyal Domestic Advisor, at your service. Our empire currently has a population of 6 citizens...
mayor (Governor of Sparta): Surely, there are far more people than that! I mean, there are more people than that in Sparta alone!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): It is a representative number. There are indeed more people than that, but we need some way to count the cattle, so to speak.
hoplitejoe (Miner): Hey, I object!
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Please treat the people with a bit more respect.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Fine. We'll stick with the term that I mentioned earlier: citizens. Anyway, as I was saying, hiring even one more unit will cost us in terms of Unit Costs until we can grow to a population of 9 citizens.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Hmmm, where did you learn all of that math?
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): I had your job in a different lifetime.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Nice! We should do lunch sometime!
Pericles: (Glares at Olaf.)
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Errr, out of my own pocket allowance of dung beetles, of course! Certainly, I would not dream of using the state's treasury! (Actually, yes, I would, but I suppose that I can be frugal in this time of need.)
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): I accept. We could make powerful allies, you and me. Prime Minister, we should also be careful to allow no more than 5 units outside of our Cultural Borders at a time, to avoid incurring Unit Supply costs.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): What about my armies?
Pericles: ilduce349 is right. For now, your mighty Warriors will have to pull double-duty. Still, I know that your capable veteran forces are more than up to the task!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): You sure are right about that! Why, it was only the other day that... (continues to regale the others with a war story, but no one is listening.)
vranasm (Religious Advisor): So, just to let me get things straight, are Missionaries counted in these unit counts of which you speak?
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Yes, all units are counted, including Arrow Hawk and any Work Boats that we send out exploring.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): That's all very interesting, but what has it got to do with me?
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Well, for starters, you will have to do your part in serving the people by keeping our empire's expenses as low as possible. Rather than building a Warrior which will only begin to cost us Gold per Turn, perhaps you can build a Work Boat for eastward exploration, but feel free to take your time in completing it.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): Maybe you can send that Work Boat to me, eventually, too! (Mansa might be more willing to take us over if I can convince him of how well I have prepared the City for his coming!)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): I heard that.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): What? What? I didn't say anything.
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Wait a minute...
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (His heart skips two beats.)
vranasm (Religious Advisor): I thought we just heard that building a Work Boat would run into the same problem, albeit a couple of turns later.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Whieh, they are talking about something else. It looks as if at least the others believed me. I really will have to watch out for that Red_Spy guy, though.)
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Exactly! I opt for building a Barracks, so that my troops will have a nice place to train (and to kick up their feet and hide from their girlfriends and wives when there are chores to be done).
mayor (Governor of Sparta): While we're at it, we might as well work the Oasis instead of the Corn in Sparta. We'll grow to Size 2 at the same time, while growing to Size 3 would just lead to Unhealthiness. So, I can contribute to the empire by first working the Oasis and then, at Size 2, both the Oasis and the Unnetted Clam.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): Excellent! Any action that can help to fill the coffers will be of use!
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Mr. President, may I have a word?
Pericles: Nice to see you, Mosher! What concoctions have you prepared for me today? Some more of that strawberry-dung-beetle jam? Perhaps a new form of dung beetle wrap? I could always use another pair of dung beetle sandals...
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Mr. President, I have long been a faithful supplier of your dung beetle needs and accessories. However, today I would like to petition to become one of the City Governors in your empire.
Pericles: I would love to help you out, but all of the City Governor roles are currently filled. We are also facing an economic crisis, a fact of which you are likely well aware, seeing as how you are a merchant. Therefore, at the moment, we can scarcely afford to settle another City.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): True, but I could not help but notice that you have begun construction of a Settler in Athens. Perhaps the City that it is eventually used to create could be led by me?
Pericles: I don't see why not. However, don't expect the City to be founded for quite some time.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): No worries, sir, I can be a patient man.
The Corinth Affair
Narrator: A short while later, in Corinth...
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth) is walking along the City's paths (remember, we don't have The Wheel yet, for streets) when he hears a soft sobbing coming from around the back corner of his home.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Little girl, how may I be of service?
Corinthian Girl: Oh, Yoshi, it's you! (She seems to perk up a bit.) My little kitty cat wandered away to a dark and dangerous place and I can't save her! (The sobbing continues again, with renewed fury.)
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Little Corinthian, where did you last see this kitty of yours? Also, can you describe it for me, so that we may better look for it on your behalf?
Corinthian Girl: (Still sobbing but making a visible effort to look up at Yoshi) Oh, Yoshi, she wandered into a dark mineshaft! Here's a picture of her. You have to save her!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): hoplitejoe, would you mind getting over here?
hoplitejoe (Miner): (Appears immediately.) Hi, Yoshi, how can I help?
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Wow, that was fast!
hoplitejoe (Miner): I am one of the Action Men (G.I. Joes), after all.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Oh yeah, right. Say, would you mind helping out this little Corinthian citizen? It seems that she lost her kitty in a mineshaft.
hoplitejoe (Miner): There are multiple mineshafts. Little Corinthian, do you know which mineshaft it was?
Corinthian Girl: (Sobbing a lot less, staring up at hoplitejoe with shining eyes and hope in her heart) Oh yes, I do indeed. It was the darkest one of them all!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Greedily thinking about the rumoured Gold deposits in the deepest mineshaft of all, the one that even the hardiest of miners would not go near) Are you sure that it wasn't the deepest mineshaft, the one that is rumoured to lead straight to heck, where a host of monsters await?
Corinthian Girl: Oh no, not that one, I am quite certain.
Diablo: Darn it all to... well... darn it all to "here!" I could have used another would-be-hero's corpse to keep the fires going.
hoplitejoe (Miner): I know just the place that you mean! I will head over there immediately. Worry not, little Corinthian, we shall save your kitty cat.
Naming the Greek Cities
Narrator: Elsewhere in the empire...
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Wasn't the third City in the Greek empire supposed to be named Thermopylae, not Corinth?
Narrator: That was back in Vanilla. Now, they have moved the 4th City of Corinth up to 3rd place.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Yet another spam post.)
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): So, does Delphi still come next in the list?
Narrator: No, they replaced it with Thebes. However, we know that Egypt is in the game, and Thebes is their capital. So, that City name might just get skipped.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): Does ANYONE know the name of the next City?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): The prophets foresee that it will be called Argos.
Mosher (Dung Beetle Merchant): What happened to Pharsalos? Also, what about Knossus?
Narrator: They are still on the list, but they will come later. Look, do you want the job or not? You can deal with whatever the City is named at the time of founding.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): I choose to accept the position of the future Governor of "Maybe Argos, Maybe Not"!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): :facepalm:
Barbarian Archers
Arrow Hawk (Scout): Sire, I regret to inform you of the presence of Barbarian Archers.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): I need more troooooooooooops!
Pericles: I shall consider your very politely-stated request...
mbkkbm (War Advisor):
Pericles: ... when the financial crisis is over or when our existing troops begin to be overrun, whichever comes first. In the meantime, make the best of what you were given.
Arrow Hawk (Scout): It is getting rather hairy out here. I may not be able to continue to dodge the Barbarians for much longer.
Making the Most out of the Planned Completion of The Wheel
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Prime Minister, maybe we could put that Settler on hold for a while and can aim to complete a Worker on the turn that we learn The Wheel, so that we may speed up the Trade-Route-connection process.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): My Settler... noooooooo!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Worry not. While you wait, and, in fact, anytime in the future, you are always welcome in my home, where you can meditate and be one with the universe.
Mosher (future Governor of "Maybe Argos, maybe not"): Don't you have a Temple or a Monastery or something like that to go to?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): What a delightful imagination you have! I will have to have a talk with FunkyBike1 on that subject one of these days.
Ripcord (the Worker): Controller, the latest Mine has been completed.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): I suppose that we might as well work it, to grow the City a tiny bit, instead of focusing solely on that Barracks.
A Missing Hero
Ripcord (the Worker): Say, has anyone seen hoplitejoe? He didn't show up for our regular mealtime together.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Gulps to himself, then pours on the charm) I'm absolutely certain that he'll be more than fine. Worry not, my good friend. He must just be banking some solid overtime hours in preparation for that holiday that you two were planning.
Ripcord (the Worker): What holiday?
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Uhhh... Here! Have a dung beetle cookie!
Ripcord (the Worker): Ooohhh, yummy, my favourite! (Promptly stops worrying about hoplitejoe, for surely, Yoshi must know what he is talking about.)
mayor (Governor of Sparta): As promised, Sparta is doing its part to help the floundering economy.
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): Hooray! Our Cultural Borders have expanded! Time to work that Fish!
The First Exotic Trade Good is Discovered--by the Vikings
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, my friend, I have just returned from a short stay with the Vikings. It seems that several turns ago, they began to harness an exotic good.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Ah ha! There's an excuse for war if I have ever heard of one!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Actually, it looks like you have other troubles to deal with first, closer to home.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Ah, worry not. My troops can take on those Barbarians on any day of the week! (Errr, I hope!)
A Hideous Eyesore or a Promise of Future Shrines?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, I rushed home as quickly as I could!
Pericles: What news, bring you, Tomorrow's Dawn?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Pericles, my good friend, Mansa's citizens have been parading up and down their paved streets.
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): We can build streets of our own, now, too!
Pericles: While that news is indeed excellent, I think that you missed Tomorrow's Dawn's main point. Why the parade?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): Mansa has put together a towering, yet hideous, and altogether astounding series of stacked rocks. I can do nothing but stare at it and Wonder...
Narrator: Oh, so punny. :facepalm:
vranasm (Religious Advisor): This news is excellent! Mansa will surely begin to build Holy Shrines for us now!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Indeed, we must simply bide our time and wait for the right opportunity to strike.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Unless Mansa gets to us first, heh heh heh.)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): (Shoots a glare at mayor.)
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Retreats into his hidey hole.)
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Well, I suppose that there is no sense in being too hasty. We might as well try and at least get some Fortification bonus before fighting against these Barbarian forces.
vranasm (Religious Advisor): I would also like to point out that Judaism has spread to Athens! Should we have need of +1 Happiness, we will have the option to adopt that Religion. However, since this Religion is not currently shared by Mansa, I would suggest that we wait on the decision of whether to convert or not until some time in the future.
Narrator: Will we stick with researching Writing next, even though neither Mansa nor Ragnar has learned it first?
What has happened to hoplitejoe and the lost kitten--has Yoshi doomed our hero to an early grave?
Will mayor be able to hold back his enthusiasm or will he inadvertently reveal his plans to more than just the ever-watchful Red_Spy?
Only the future holds the answers to these and many more unasked questions!
hoplitejoe
Top fun-poster
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2010
- Messages
- 5,470
As an Englishman I would like to be referred to as an action man rather than a "G.I. Joe"
Great update
Great update
Mosher
Mushroom dad
Dung-beetle merchant.
Yoshiegg737
Jungo Jungo
Yeah, work that fish 
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
I will be the RNG God. (that should be good )
)
mayor
Heart & Mind
Hey, great story!
I would like to be the governor of the next non-governed city, if I could.
And I'll take the next city with Gold, Silver or Gems (as the Treasurer's HQ and so I can be a governor as well
I'm starting to see a pattern
Great Update again Dhoom
Tomorrow's Dawn
Heroes Never Die
This is excellent. I really like the Shorts format that you're using, Dhoomstriker.
It feels like I'm watching a sketch comedy.
It feels like I'm watching a sketch comedy.
Mitchum
Deity
I would like to be the commander of the Barbarian Horde. I will be BLACK, of course.
EDIT: By the way, nice story. With SGOTM-13 done, I see that you've found something to fill your time...
EDIT: By the way, nice story. With SGOTM-13 done, I see that you've found something to fill your time...
Dhoomstriker
Girlie Builder
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 13,474
The Tech Debate
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Teacher, would it perhaps make sense to learn the wisdom of Pottery next?
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): My lord, this knowledge would allow us to build Granaries.
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Wouldn't those buildings simply encourage our people to sit back and be lazy?
mayor (Governor of Sparta): That building sounds like MY kind of building!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Indeed, Granaries would allow us to convert more of our Food into Hammers via the whip. We could also grow our Cities faster.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): I agree that Granaries are useful, but right now we need to focus on Commerce, not extra Hammers that we can't even use since we have capped out our military budget.
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): Besides, why waste our Hammers on Granaries when we can build me a City! Come on, pretty pleeeeeease!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): In terms of Commerce, Pottery also offers Cottages!
Olaf (Financial Advisor): True, but our cheap Libraries, cheap Great People, and free Flasks from settled Great Scientists are probably better in the short run.
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): My sources report that the nearby neighbours do not possess the knowledge of Writing. I would like to see us learning it, so that we may Open Borders and look for new contacts.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): While we will soon have domestic Trade Routes, some foreign ones would be better.
Pericles: Enough of this prattle! Don't you have jobs to do? We shall stick with Writing, as planned.
A Hero in Distress--or perhaps Dead?!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Runs into the room.) King Daddy! I have urgent news that needs your attention! It appears that one of our mines has collapsed, taking hoplitejoe with it!
Olaf (Financial Advisor): We have no money in the coffers to fund a re-digging effort.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Well, we can't just leave him there. Our citizens might start to rebel.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Perks up noticeably at this news.)
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): Mr. President, I have an idea. Isn'tDuke Action Man Snoop Dogg hoplitejoe one of the G.I. Joes Action Men?
Pericles: I see where you're going with this one. Tomorrow's Dawn, how quickly do you think that you can reach the Commander of theJoes Action Men, General Hawk?
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): I shall set out at once, my good friend.
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): In the meantime, I shall investigate this incident. Yoshi!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Quivers with fear.)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Come along. You're with me!
A Self-proclaimed god
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Hail! It is me, the Random Number Generator god!
Narrator: Uhhh, you should have said "Hail! It is I, ..."
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): (In sotto voice to the Narrator) Shut up! You're ruining my grand entrance!
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): (To everyone) Bow down and worship me, for I am your lord and master!
Pericles: vranasm, who is this creature and what is he doing in my court?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Teacher, he is likely an imposter. Even if he does have the powers that he claims to have, they do not make him worthy of being labelled a god.
Narrator: That's true. If one were to have the powers of "World Buildering," one could kick his backside up and down the Malinese streets, and even then I would not label such a being as a "god" but more like a "cheater."
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): I am not a cheater! I have magical, mystical powers! Why, I can influence the outcomes of battles!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Hmmm, I could use a guy like you in my army. Tell me more.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Basically, I determine whether your units will win or lose in combat. If I am happy, your units will win. If I am not happy, they will lose. It's that simple. Now, bow down and worship me!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Good luck with that one!
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): WORSHIP ME!
Pericles: No. I have better things to do and quite frankly, you're really starting to get under my skin.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Then you shall suffer the wrath of SouthernKing!
mayor (Governor of Sparta): I have a better idea. Your Honour, I think that ... (continues on in sotto voice, directed at Pericles).
Narrator: (This'll be good.
) A couple of minutes later...
Pericles: How devious you are, my good mayor! It has been decided! SouthernKing's words shall be put to the test.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): I fear no test! I am the best!
Pericles: That is good, because you are unlikely to still be smiling after you hear what I have to say next. Each turn, SouthernKing shall embody one of our Military Units.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Wait a minute here...
Pericles: (Continues, as though he had not been interrupted) mbkkbm will have complete control over which Military Unit you are assigned to represent.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Oooooh, I'm liking the sounds of this idea! Nice one, mayor!
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Beams with pride and for once isn't thinking thoughts of rebellion.)
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Wait, what if I die? That's not fair!
Pericles: (Still continuing) SouthernKing will be assigned 3 lives, starting at 3UP. Should that counter drop down to 0, he will be completely eliminated. However, he may redeem himself through combat. Should he earn a promotion via combat, he will gain an additional life, capped at 9UP. In this way, he will truly be in control of his own fate. If his claims are true, he shall survive. We will not label him a "god," but he will be allowed to live. Otherwise, his false claims, along with his life, will disappear on the battlefield.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): I know just the place to put him, too! (Places SouthernKing on the frontlines.)
SouthernKing 3UP: Noooooo... (His voice trails off as he disappears and rematerializes on the field of battle as a Warrior unit.)
The Deadliest Threat
Mitchum (Leader of the Barbarian Horde): (Spoken to the Barbarian forces which are arrayed against Civilization, as we know it) We have lived in harsh conditions in the wilderness while self-proclaimed kings have risen to rule over rabbles of weaklings. It is time to loot and pillage the riches of Civilization, taking what is rightfully ours!
Random Barbarian Warrior: Hear ye, and hear him!
Mitchum (Leader of the Barbarian Horde): In fact, it is time to reveal my true identity to the world!
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in Greece...
Optimus Prime: Pericles, a great danger lurks nearby.
Pericles: (Speechless.)
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): (After a moment's silence, spurts out the following words...) But, what, ahhh, who are you?
Optimus Prime: My name matters not and what I am is not important. What you must know is that a great evil is prepared to rise up against you. The time is at hand for them to strike.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Our forces are hardly ready to face the likes of you!
Optimus Prime: Fate rarely calls upon us at a time of our choosing.
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): But, but, this war is not our war!
Optimus Prime: I am afraid that it is now.
Mitchum (Leader of the Decepticons): Decepticons! Rise up and join me! The time is ripe and the battle shall be ours! Decepticons, ATTACK!
SouthernKing 3UP: (Gulps.) Whoa sh... ugar! What have I gotten myself into?
Narrator: Will Tomorrow's Dawn's be able to successfully negotiate with General Hawk for aid or will she fail, dooming any chance of saving hoplitejoe and likely dooming Yoshi as well?
How long can SouthernKing last on the battlefield and how long will it be before his luck runs out?
Will Mitchum and hisBarbarians Decepticons take over the world?
Stay tuned for the next highly-sought-after update!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Teacher, would it perhaps make sense to learn the wisdom of Pottery next?
FunkyBike1 (Science Advisor): My lord, this knowledge would allow us to build Granaries.
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Wouldn't those buildings simply encourage our people to sit back and be lazy?
mayor (Governor of Sparta): That building sounds like MY kind of building!
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Indeed, Granaries would allow us to convert more of our Food into Hammers via the whip. We could also grow our Cities faster.
Olaf (Financial Advisor): I agree that Granaries are useful, but right now we need to focus on Commerce, not extra Hammers that we can't even use since we have capped out our military budget.
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): Besides, why waste our Hammers on Granaries when we can build me a City! Come on, pretty pleeeeeease!
vranasm (Religious Advisor): In terms of Commerce, Pottery also offers Cottages!
Olaf (Financial Advisor): True, but our cheap Libraries, cheap Great People, and free Flasks from settled Great Scientists are probably better in the short run.
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): My sources report that the nearby neighbours do not possess the knowledge of Writing. I would like to see us learning it, so that we may Open Borders and look for new contacts.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): While we will soon have domestic Trade Routes, some foreign ones would be better.
Pericles: Enough of this prattle! Don't you have jobs to do? We shall stick with Writing, as planned.
A Hero in Distress--or perhaps Dead?!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Runs into the room.) King Daddy! I have urgent news that needs your attention! It appears that one of our mines has collapsed, taking hoplitejoe with it!
Olaf (Financial Advisor): We have no money in the coffers to fund a re-digging effort.
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): Well, we can't just leave him there. Our citizens might start to rebel.
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Perks up noticeably at this news.)
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): Mr. President, I have an idea. Isn't
Spoiler :
Pericles: I see where you're going with this one. Tomorrow's Dawn, how quickly do you think that you can reach the Commander of the
Tomorrow's Dawn (Foreign Advisor): I shall set out at once, my good friend.
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): In the meantime, I shall investigate this incident. Yoshi!
Yoshi (Governor of Corinth): (Quivers with fear.)
Red_Spy (Pro-Communism Spy): Come along. You're with me!
A Self-proclaimed god
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Hail! It is me, the Random Number Generator god!
Narrator: Uhhh, you should have said "Hail! It is I, ..."
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): (In sotto voice to the Narrator) Shut up! You're ruining my grand entrance!
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): (To everyone) Bow down and worship me, for I am your lord and master!
Pericles: vranasm, who is this creature and what is he doing in my court?
vranasm (Religious Advisor): Teacher, he is likely an imposter. Even if he does have the powers that he claims to have, they do not make him worthy of being labelled a god.
Narrator: That's true. If one were to have the powers of "World Buildering," one could kick his backside up and down the Malinese streets, and even then I would not label such a being as a "god" but more like a "cheater."
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): I am not a cheater! I have magical, mystical powers! Why, I can influence the outcomes of battles!
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Hmmm, I could use a guy like you in my army. Tell me more.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Basically, I determine whether your units will win or lose in combat. If I am happy, your units will win. If I am not happy, they will lose. It's that simple. Now, bow down and worship me!
vranasm (Religious Advisor):
Good luck with that one!SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): WORSHIP ME!
Pericles: No. I have better things to do and quite frankly, you're really starting to get under my skin.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Then you shall suffer the wrath of SouthernKing!
mayor (Governor of Sparta): I have a better idea. Your Honour, I think that ... (continues on in sotto voice, directed at Pericles).
Narrator: (This'll be good.
) A couple of minutes later...Pericles: How devious you are, my good mayor! It has been decided! SouthernKing's words shall be put to the test.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): I fear no test! I am the best!
Pericles: That is good, because you are unlikely to still be smiling after you hear what I have to say next. Each turn, SouthernKing shall embody one of our Military Units.
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Wait a minute here...
Pericles: (Continues, as though he had not been interrupted) mbkkbm will have complete control over which Military Unit you are assigned to represent.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Oooooh, I'm liking the sounds of this idea! Nice one, mayor!
mayor (Governor of Sparta): (Beams with pride and for once isn't thinking thoughts of rebellion.)
SouthernKing (Self-proclaimed RNG god): Wait, what if I die? That's not fair!
Pericles: (Still continuing) SouthernKing will be assigned 3 lives, starting at 3UP. Should that counter drop down to 0, he will be completely eliminated. However, he may redeem himself through combat. Should he earn a promotion via combat, he will gain an additional life, capped at 9UP. In this way, he will truly be in control of his own fate. If his claims are true, he shall survive. We will not label him a "god," but he will be allowed to live. Otherwise, his false claims, along with his life, will disappear on the battlefield.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): I know just the place to put him, too! (Places SouthernKing on the frontlines.)
SouthernKing 3UP: Noooooo... (His voice trails off as he disappears and rematerializes on the field of battle as a Warrior unit.)
The Deadliest Threat
Mitchum (Leader of the Barbarian Horde): (Spoken to the Barbarian forces which are arrayed against Civilization, as we know it) We have lived in harsh conditions in the wilderness while self-proclaimed kings have risen to rule over rabbles of weaklings. It is time to loot and pillage the riches of Civilization, taking what is rightfully ours!
Random Barbarian Warrior: Hear ye, and hear him!
Mitchum (Leader of the Barbarian Horde): In fact, it is time to reveal my true identity to the world!
Spoiler :
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in Greece...
Optimus Prime: Pericles, a great danger lurks nearby.
Pericles: (Speechless.)
ilduce349 (Domestic Advisor): (After a moment's silence, spurts out the following words...) But, what, ahhh, who are you?
Spoiler :
Optimus Prime: My name matters not and what I am is not important. What you must know is that a great evil is prepared to rise up against you. The time is at hand for them to strike.
mbkkbm (War Advisor): Our forces are hardly ready to face the likes of you!
Optimus Prime: Fate rarely calls upon us at a time of our choosing.
Mosher (future Governor of Argos--maybe): But, but, this war is not our war!
Optimus Prime: I am afraid that it is now.
Mitchum (Leader of the Decepticons): Decepticons! Rise up and join me! The time is ripe and the battle shall be ours! Decepticons, ATTACK!
Spoiler :
SouthernKing 3UP: (Gulps.) Whoa sh... ugar! What have I gotten myself into?
Narrator: Will Tomorrow's Dawn's be able to successfully negotiate with General Hawk for aid or will she fail, dooming any chance of saving hoplitejoe and likely dooming Yoshi as well?
How long can SouthernKing last on the battlefield and how long will it be before his luck runs out?
Will Mitchum and his
Stay tuned for the next highly-sought-after update!
hoplitejoe
Top fun-poster
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2010
- Messages
- 5,470
Mitchum
Deity
Now that I'm in the game as the barbarian leader, I'm sad to say that I'm rooting against you! Looking on the bright side, you should be able to afford to build more units soon...
EDIT: I am hoping that hoplitejoe makes it out of the mine though.
EDIT: I am hoping that hoplitejoe makes it out of the mine though.
Tomorrow's Dawn
Heroes Never Die
Spoiler :
I mean he's friends with ponies and everything.
Spoiler :
In all seriousness though, excellent update.
Eagerly awaiting more.
Mosher
Mushroom dad
This update went from "Cool!" to "wat, but still cool!"
Optical
The Fall of the Eleventh
SouthernKing is in trouble...
