Commence Operation Lazarus!
Step One: Gift the Mexicans squads of Nortonian Infantry. This will protect them from further attacks from the pirates and could help convince the Mexicans to join us.
Step Two: Send the chiefs of Oregon bouquets of California poppies as an apology to for our incompetent diplomats.
Step Three: Look into a cure for dysentery.
1)12(12): with the recent pirate attacks the Mexicans feel safer under the protection of the infantry. They thank you and agree to join, under hope of keeping those wacky pirates at bay.
2)19(19): blessed days! The chiefs felt sorry for the original outburst, giving you of their best diplomats as a gesture of good will to make up; Rozene Muwich now joins your diplomatic office. The overall effect has been to enhance your diplomatic core, at least temporally. [+1 diplomatic expansion for two turns, +Rozene Muwich; she will provide +1 to diplomatic roles she is assigned to]
3)12: your scientists discover a cure for dysentery; all you have to do is to manufacture it. [+dysentery design]
1) Hire Julius Caesar
2) Send Mr SIGNORE Dante to invade Greece
3) Make the best damn arrabiata sauce ever
1) 4: hes dead bro and the doctor is worried about you. Also the priests think you are wanting to perform necromancy and they are giving their concerns to the populace.[-1 sanity, -1 piety and -1 moral]
2) 11 (13): as the Romans and the Ottomans proved Greece is better occupied; General Dante De Palma brings victory for Italia, ensuring once again Italian can claim to be the dominant oiled body-builder of Europe.
3) 7: the chef added too much vinegar, turning the sauce into acid; it dissolved the bowl it was in and sank to destroy am undiscovered Renascence sketch hidden in the floorboards. A coalition of artists, historians and mutant turtles are suing you for damages to the arts. [-10m euros]
1. Expand the scope of our Immigrant Resettlement Program to allow for new Swedish settlements in the Queensland province.
2. The Swedish State welcomes and promises to give asylum in our Australian territories to Americans whose right to freedom of movement has been compromised by the newly built wall.
This was announced by State Councillor Maria Montazami, of the Swedish Hollywood Wives' Party of Progress, who held a rallying speech in Perth where she condemned the Trump administration and recalled how she herself emigrated from Sweden to California as a young woman without the government trying to stop her from leaving.
State Councillor Maria Montazami.
3. Make investigations into how we the government can help improve work conditions for aircraft personnel, to ensure their safety and well-being aswell as avoid incidents such as the one recently experienced by one of our diplomats.
1) 3 (4): Australians in Queensland have decided not to allow some Swedish state dictate the takeover of their country. The Swedish security force were attacked with boomerangs, while settlers founded hordes of kangaroos stamping the foundations of settlements. The failing have The whole scenario has bought a moral low for settlers and a great economic expense to the Swedish State, as well as realization of the public health crisis caused by living on a continent with poisonous beasts. [Queensland +1 defense against foreign expansion, while Swedish State gain -1 to expansion in Oceania, -1 healthiness, -10m dollars ]
2) 14: The Swedish State has gained diplomatic points for their condemnation of Donald Drumpf, as well as a influx of refugees from Iraq who request asylum after their country was invaded; this is a moral boost for the new Sweden. [+1 diplomatic rolls for 2 turns, +1 moral]
3) 3: the investigation has opened a nasty can of worms; the entire airline Swedish airline industry has, essentially, been taken over by the Swedish Chef, who has replaced all staff with his cookery students, including the pilots who are trying to use the planes to catch the light shuffles which are floating into space. Panic has stroke the airlines, costing the economy and sanity of the Swedish State. It is likely expansion outside Oceania will have to be put on hold until the crisis is shorted. [-1 expansion outside Oceania until the crisis is shorted, -1 sanity, -10m dollars due to airline panics]
1. Operation "Enduring Freedom" - Send the 7th Army, 12th Fleet and 24th Marine Corps to invade Iraq. Lets bring freedom to the world!
2. Trump will direct three Star Wars movies which will be an adaption of the video game Knights of the Old Republic. Money gained by the movies will go to state coffers.
3. Spend the 10m dollars in organizing an "Invest in America" advertisement campaign to promote the image of US as a friendly to corporations country across the world.
1)12: logistics may have proved difficult but the US forces have succeeded in liberating Iraq. There have an exodus of Iraqi refugees to the Swedish State but your advisers ensure you that Iraq is secured.
2)20: your films have both generate massive revenue and pleased critics, earning 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, whiles HK-47 has become the most quoted character of the week. You are officially a national treasure. You feel extra lucky, for the Force is with you. [+50m dollars, +3 culture, +1 bonus roll for 2 turns]
3)12(13) the campaign is a moderate success, though not as wide spread as it could be. [+1 diplomacy for 2 turns]
1: Representatives of the Foreign Office will attempt to spread the Revolution to Tunisia (i.e. peaceful annexation).
2: Representatives of the Foreign Office will attempt to spread the Revolution to Asyut. (I'm pretty sure that still counts as North African)
3: The Foreign Office will try to spread the Revolution to Algeria.
1) 16(18) the success of the Tunisian revolution has echoed into your schemes of unity. The peacefulness of your expansion has inspired imams to praise your piety, while from Tunisia a diplomat has come to your capital seeking to aid in your efforts of peace. [+1 piety, + Ali Ahmed; a diplomat who if set on diplomatic mission will increase the role by 1]
2) 19(20): storms of flowers danced over your diplomats as they reached Cairo and Thebes. Egypt will be yours to the death and your diplomats are more eager to have more flowers thrown at them. With Egypt united and North Africa appear to become one the Middle East can be aimed to unify under the banner of law. [+1 defense for Egypt, +2 diplomatic expansions for 5 turns, +1 Middle East expansion]
3) 14(16) By securing Algeria you have almost united North Africa; this enhances your peoples moral. [+1 moral]
Attack Columbia
Attack Venezuela
Attack Guyana
1)15(16): the invasion has driven out both government and rebel forces, taking from the rebels the coca farms that had fueled drug trades; now you can drive that gravy train. With your spice rum this should make you hearty and annoy the USA. [+coca farms]
2)7(8): a populist leaded militia managed to keep your pirates from landing. The militia leader has proclaimed himself as the prime reason why you were not able to invade; thankfully he forgot the microphone was off so no affect will come from his speeches.
3)11(12): You manage to strike through the rivers and rainforests, taking over the province. The GM was unable to think of anything else to write here, so be sure to invest in spice rum to help spice up his day.
1. Renew our attacks upon Austria, using as a tactical weapon of terror our crappy vegetable oil.
2. Begin an offensive in Slavonia. Roll in the tanks.
3. Learn from our mistakes and actually create fuel air bombs. Seriously guys.
1)10: the attack commences once more but while this offense has been more progressive into Austria it ultimately ended with a retreat for Venice as militants began to dug in. Though the vegetable oil was utilized as a terror weapon, successfully putting Australian troops off their meals, this was counted with report of goatherds sending their flock to eat Venusian supplies; either way however the Venetians have suffered insignificant losses.
2)16: despite the imitating concern being held by Laibach the Venetians manage to secure Slavonia. This victory has given Venice an opportunity to dive into the Balkans and make us of the high spirits the venetians armies have gained with their first military victory. As for Laibach they are said to be off to conduct a new concert in a unknown location
[+1 invading Balkan provinces, +1 expansion for one turn]
3)11: the first generation of fuel air bombs have been developed, though only one bombing run by the first bombs. [+fuel air bomb, giving +1 to an attack it is being used in.]
1. Orussia invades Siberia with animal conscripts and Moscow Cubs heroes. Make motherland proud, brave comrades.
2. Orussia invades Urals with Orussian dancing men. Dance well for supreme premier, heroes of the motherland. Dance well on body of capitalism.
3. Orussia invades Poland by catapulting tanks into nation. Feast on flesh of weak east bloc powers.
1)5(8): unfortunately, it is winter and a Steppe horde greets your struggling conscripts with an attack on supplies. You manage to leave Siberia but not before losing a great deal of troops; thankfully they will be replicable and the Moscow Cub heroes are ok.
2)11(14): Ural tank platoons were surprised when dancing men challenged them; the tanks did their best but could not keep up and thus were fed to scrap metal yard. Capitalism struggled but alas it could not resist the dance. The dance improves the mood of your nation. [+1 moral]
3)3(4) Initially the Orussians secured the Polish borderland, with prospects a smooth invasion being broadcast. Unfortunately, the catapulted tanks accidently opened their hatches, pouring out the tank crews to their deaths or their sentence into a PoW camp; those tanks that did not break up when landing were captured by Polish militia. Meanwhile hussars have devastated Orussian supply lines, from lancing grain supplies to impaling Orussian officers and taking said officials to Polish villages for the bodies to be staked, bringing peril to Orussian forces attempting to siege the villages. The greatest peril for the Orussian army, however, was Wojtek II, the decedent of the original Private Wotjek the bear. Wotjek II supplied needed artillery shells to Polish artillery cannons and even eat several Orussian troopers. In the end it was the Orussians who were feast upon by Polish bear. Failure has bought shame to motherland and pride to Poland. [Poland now has +1 defense against enemy invasion roles, while Orussia gains -1 invading former Soviet Eastern European Bloc, -1 moral, +1 shame]
With the Help of the Swedish Mukluks
1. Invade Uruguay again
2. Invade Paraguay
3. Invade Bolivia
1)15 (16) once again the Caliph attacked Uruguay
but this time with Swedish Mukluks! Horror befell the Knightly Templar Order of Our Lady of the Thirty-Three as their fortress monastery trembled before artillery fire, while leading crusaders were captured by the Mukluks to be ransomed. The victory has not ended the Knights but it has ensured the Caliph is chosen by God. [+1 piety, +1m dollars worth of ransom payments
2)16 (18) bravely the Mukluks fought the local Knights of St Blaise. In the heat of battle one Swedish Mukluk proved himself more than the rest; your court picks him out and he presents himself as Elee zee-a Brefe. This warrior may prove a useful general for your holy armies. Gud is greet! cries the Swedish Mukluks. [+1 piety, +1 moral, + Elee zee-a Brefe; +1 combat role to any battle this makluk general is assigned to.]
3)7 (9): despite the absence of the damned crusaders the assimilation of Bolivia into the Caliphate would be proved as a future story, as even the Swedish Mukluks came no match for what the Caliph faced: llamas. Spit after spit forced the Mukluks to retreat, a retreat bought down further when indigenous militia began raids on supply lines. Thankfully the Mkluks manage to flee the territory before sustaining too much damage but they are now requesting rain coats if they to do war against llamas again.
1. Force the defectors who failed to take Kyushu to listen to one of Red Sabers excellent performances and eat Hiusis brilliant cooking. This is also known as torture. All those who survive will be told to retake the province or enjoy an encore and dessert
2. Send Saber to lead another army to reclaim Edo. She will make short work of Godzilla with her
anti-fortress noble phantasm.
3. Force President Taiga Fujimura to take some economic lessons under Sonereal so she doesnt waste all of our money on truffles. Again.[/B]
1)1(2): the soldiers have the worst taste ever: not only have they survived but they very grateful for what they call excellent performance and cooking. They continue to slack off just to enjoy the performances with meal. They are so grateful your army accidently thinks you were rewarding them, resulting in mass defections that will hinder your conquests for 5 turns. If that was not all Hiusi and Red Saber are now convince they are masters of their profession, meaning you now more performances and food to dread. It if were not for the luck fortune you might have had a permanent drop in your combat roll; nevertheless expect future bad rolls to take influence from a drop in sanity, culture and healthiness. [-1 sanity, -2 expansion for 5 turns, -1 culture due to Red Sabers performances, -1 healthiness from Hiusis cooking]
2)19 (20): Godzilla proved no match for Sabers strike; though atomic breath is almighty Saber willed the defeat of Godzilla, leaving him dead until the next installment of the franchise. The people of Japan hail the day Kaiju Slay Day with your military officers advising to simply make Saber your main general in leading campaigns. The troops that have not deflected are eager to bring more glory for your dojo, especially those eager to explore the Sea China Sea. [+1 moral, +1 expansion for two turns, +1 expansion into provinces bordering the East China Sea, +Saber; any army she assigns too will have a bonus roll of +3]
3)3 (4): she does take lessons from Sonereal; she can now only communicate through Excel spreadsheets, much to the bemusement of your peers. You somehow find that truffle have become the new standard; the capital is flooded in truffles and a very large turnip has taken root in the dojo. Also she helped caused an economic recession through her truffle purchases and for trying to pass a -1% tax flat tax rate. Though it is likely Taiga may not have heeded Sonereals lessons you have a gut feeling the GM is simply venting his bias against excessive spreadsheets [-100 billion yen (AKA -10 million dollars), -1 economic roll for a two turn recession, +10 million truffles, +a very large turnip, +Taiga Fujimura can only now communicate through Microsoft Excel]
GM Notes
Next deadline is Tuesday 21:00; I am hopeful for full order hand ins before then.
