Imperium Offtopicum IX

[bestrfcplayer]

Just popping in to say that during the next two days, and after spring break (which begins on Thursday), I am not allowed on the computer until I get my grades up (but don't worry guys, its only in two subjects). So after the 16th, NPC me.

 

[Omega124]

"King Arthur, I come from news in the mainland! France to be exact". Sir Lancelot was speaking in the assembly of the Round Knights. "They claim some nation in Germany is-". Lancelot paused, not having any clue what the next word even is. "Erm, 'Face-is-it? Apparently, this is bad, and they want us to send-". Again, a pause, "dipelio-mats? To go discuss trade and a alliance"/

The council went immediatly into an uproar, mostly about what "face-is-it" actually is. Sir Bors said, "Sounds like the type of thing to consider doing. Any target is a good to me". Sir Robin defended the other side, "We do not need to send a crusade over to Germany. I mean, we need to secure Britannia as is, plus I've heard 'face-is-ism' isn't such a bad ideology in all".

King Arthur pondered the thought of accepting France's proposal, before saying, "I do not think we should agree with this proposal. These people sound like the same people as that Dennis a week before the Shism. You know, the 'watery tart' guy". At first, the knights were shocked at the king's profanity, before Patsy said, "Oh yes, that peasant. I remember him. What a quaint person". King Arthur nodded and said "So, in fear that their lordless ideology spreads even further, I must reject their offer. Now, as I have nothing else on the ta-"

Almost right before closing the meeting, Patsy spoke up in a whisper, saying "We still have to deal with India". Arthur sighed, "It appears he is right, as much as I wanted to start this whole 'make the King of the Britons king thing'. Alright, so some nation in India is offering us trade". Sir Robin said, "Excuse my Latin, but the hell did we even get the message, let alone the actual trade"? Arthur beamed, "My thoughts exactly, but apparently the newtimers know this weird technology called 'tell-e-phon', which allows instantaneous conversation anywhere in the world". "I'll believe it when I see it", chimed in Sir Bors. "Anyways, so, the newtimers will deal with the actual trade. They claim they can fly the goods. As in, literally, send the goods into the air from India to England. Seriously" said Arthur. At this point, all the knights started to laugh at such a bold claim. "Well, remember, this is India they're talking about. All the riches and everything. Except for Ivory. Apparently, Ivory is illegal in this day and age. I say it is a win-win. We get trade with India or a good laugh". A chorus of yeses emerged from the table, and the meeting was ajourned.

France: You godless, kingless people are even weirder than those "face-is-it" states with a crownless king. So we reject your proposal

Hadleys: We accept, but we honestly don't expect your bold claims of direct trade to England are true. But please, surprise us if you can.

 

[Tyo]

Hey, anyone wanna trade?

Also accept all trade directed at me if any.

 

[Omega124]

Hey, anyone wanna trade?

Also accept all trade directed at me if any.

Trade with Italian merchants seem not only like a good idea, knowing your reputation, but indeed actually realistic. We shall trade with you.

Also, claims:

 

[Tyo]

Interstingites have a bad rep?

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Albert Speer straightened his tie. He hesitated for a moment, then rapped on the door.

"Ja," said a voice.

He proceeded inside. Hitler stood, arms folded, staring at a book open on the desk. Slowly he turned to face Speer. He blinked twice. "So, you finally came."

"My leader," Speer began, "The traffic-"

"Don't sweat it. Let's sit down." They seated themselves opposite each other. The Leader's hands were clasped together, idly toying with a pencil. "You know, I can't say I expected to get off to such a good start. Maybe those YouTube hacks did us a favour; who'd'a thunk anyone would want to trade with us after the whole... well, you know." He looked up at Speer, who dropped his gaze.

"Even the Paris Commune might not be so bad. Hell, if I leave Fegelein in charge of cartography, he'll probably wind up butting heads on the front lines." Speer raised an eyebrow; Hitler chuckled. "Two birds, one stone."

After a brief lull, Speer started: "We've gone ahead and forwarded a trade proposal to Italy."

"The sooner we kick this economy back into line, the sooner I can finally reclaim my image on the world stage." He cast a glance at Speer. "Although I don't even know how we're turning a profit. Half the gas from Denmarj is sucked up by Himmler's stupid limo rides, so that's a loss; we don't have a merchant fleet, and Göring's using the Luftwaffe as his private taxi. So how the hell are we even exporting anything?"

Speer coughed into the back of his hand. "E-commerce, my leader. We've, uh, found there's a lucrative market for Downfall parodies."

*snap*

Hitler tossed the broken pencil to the floor and ran his fingers across his temple.


In addition to the aforementioned overture to Italy, the Downfall Gang is officially stepping up to the global market with the best Downfall parodies money can buy! Specially green-lighted for export, the "Weltblitzkrieg" Edition contains over twenty hours of comedy and a host of goodies, including behind-the-scenes footage, a "making of" documentary, and commentary by Hermann Fegelein! Quantities are limited, so order now!

 

[Double A]

 

[Tani Coyote]

Claims needed from:

-JoanK
-Hoplitejoe
-Nedim Napoleon

Predictions:

First war in Europe, of course. Failing that, running out of land will force a colonial race to Africa and South America.

 

[NedimNapoleon]

 

[Double A]

I will only permit Thorvald to colonize my continent.

 

[JohannaK]

Claim all Pacific Islands!!! 5 at a time, of course
Build an awesome fleet! And 5 armies.

 

[christos200]

Even if you do not agree with all the above notions, then you are still invited to attend a European development conference in Paris.

Communist French, we do not wish to say anything to Communist scums. We just hope that a war between our nations will be avoid, but we wont trade or have any relation with you.

RP coming.

 

[CELTICEMPIRE]

Can I still join?

 

[Tambien]

Ja. Choose 30 provinces.

 

[christos200]

Kingdom of Spain:

Flag:

Coat of Arms:

Capital: Madrid

Government: Absolute Monarchy

Religion: Islam

Economy: Mixed

Language: Spanish

Population: 13,000,000

Leaders of the Kingdom:

King Otto, King of Spain:

King Otto wants to modernize Spain. Although Islam makes even more difficult his modernization efforts, he still think that Spain can become a European Nation.

Mr. Ioannis Kapodistrias, Minister of Economy:

Kapodistria, the minister of economy, thinks that Spain should expand in Africa in order to get the middle eastern and North Africa oils. He believes that Spain can become a modern nation state.

Duke George I:

George I is Duke of Madrid. He serves the King, but has a level of Autonomy. He has his own private army and has a lot of land all over Spain. He advises the King, but he doesn't like very much the modernization policy.

Duke Constantine, son of Duke George I:

Constantine is son of Duke George I. He doesn't believe in modernization and thinks that Spain should become a federal monarchy, divided in duchies.

Mr. Eleutherios Venizelos, Prime Minister:

Mr. Venizelos is Prime minister and the most important person in Spain after the King. He believes in the modernization of Spain, but he think that first Spain must expand.

Mr. Chiang, Chinese Advisor of the crown:

Mr. Chiang is a Chinese businessman, who lives in Spain. Thanks to his money, he managed to become advisor of the Spanish Crown, the third most important position in Spain after the King and the Prime minister.

Charilaos Trikoupis, Foreign Minister:

He is the man who takes all foreign policy of Spain in his hands. He believes in peaceful relation with the other nations and rejects any scenarios about war.

 

[JohannaK]

What is this I don't even... :suicide:

 

[christos200]

This is RP.

 

[Robert Can't]

-snip-

Deja vu Much?

 

[NedimNapoleon]

Although Islam makes even more difficult his modernization efforts

 

[mayor]

-snip-

Christos, do you ever consider using different pictures, names etc?