Imperium OffTopicum XIV

[eduhum]

Kamehameha, king of the Pacific peoples and the representative of the 25000 islands that float in the ocean of the world, stood now still. Standing at the 34th storage-museum in Nauru, at the section of Russian paintings, he was captivated by a rather strange, uncommon work of art.
-How amusing... I wonder what it means... I wonder why was it painted...

Spoiler :

The description of it was mostly blank. Not always information had been able to be recovered from the pre-catacylsm. But yet something was written. Fast-paced, in ink: "Zaphorozhian Cossacks"
-Saka Rabuka! I'd wish to know the context of this.
There came his general secretary, who accompanied him wherever he went, carrying in his hand a paper of most importance, it seemed. He was a small, grim man, yet his eyes revealed great wisdom. He analyzed the painting and suddenly laughed. The king so stood surprised.
-I wish I knew it, but from what my eyes can tell, it's a very close subject from what was I appointed to give you.
And with that he gave him that paper...
-A letter from the PAU? Shouldn't be the Ministry of Foreign Relations handle this? This is not my competency, you know it.
-I know, Saka Kaliopate give it to me saying "That text is so funny, give it to the king, it will make him his day". I couldn't help reading it, it has made mine too.-
This said Rabuka, smiling.
-That man is funny. He browed. Let's see it then...

"It has become incredibly apparent that the region known as Oceania is unfit to govern itself...hmm...responsibility of the powerful to protect the weak...o rly...conference in San Franscisco to discuss how to deal with, and potentially divide, the Oceanic Question...wut?...GEAR and the PAU do not believe an independent state exists within the Oceanic region...Eeh??...supposed Oceanic state, belligerent and full of competing warlords...So, this personal or something?...again, there is no Oceanic-Pacific state... don't know if to laugh or cry...I am reading this report prepared by GEAR-PAU political scientists and they are indeed saying that Oceania is in a state of near anarchy, and that peacekeeping operations will be required.......BAAHAHAHHAHAAHA!! Wait, this is serious. Or is it?....Since there is no Oceanian state, there are no statements you could show me made by a representative of Oceania since, again, Oceania does not exist as a state...Oh, I recall that conversation, I videotaped it, Rabuka, so I can listen again, pure humor... pirates?... warlords!.......I see....what?? The end? I want more of this nonsense! The leader of 'murika just made himself again the laughing stock of the world. Has some psychiatrist investigated in his delusions of grandeur or something?
-Actually this is pretty serious. He is allied now with GEAR and wants us because of the Anadyr dispute.
-That wasteland??? They want to invade our country over a barren frost land we don't even have yet? Such amaze. Wow.
-Why don't you try to negotiate, get out of that territory or something?
-I would! I want! But that new supreme leader of GEAR won't listen! He won't say anything! How can he say he wants to resolve this if he doesn't cooperate? So cynical... Oh wait, let me just call Saka Matu'a!
-The governor of Rapa Nu'i? Well...ok I guess...
Now Rabuka was holding the phone
-Matu'a!
Grave was the voice at the other side
-Sire, is that you? Greetings!
-Oh, Matu'a, I'm afraid I must give you great tidings of doom... The PAU leader just said that there is no Oceanic state and you should be partitioned to their country. You know, it seems that there is no choice against his mighty nation.
-...Are you, like, really serious?
-April fools'!! You just belived that nonsense didn't you?
-Erm, april fools was some days ago, sire.
-Well, it's April, isn't it? So that still counts. Anyways, you're the first I'm calling. There will be a meeting of the different regions in two days here in Nauru. You should be prepared to come here by then. He put down the phone.
-Rabuka, will you remember to send today yet another message to GEAR? 'We are open to negotiations' and all that stuff.
-I know, as usual... we're getting close to thirty messages now.
-Just keep them pumping... They can't say we aren't open that way... Oh, look, a Brullyov!

 

[Robert Can't]

Meanwhile in other bestsellers in 2108:

The Man Who Killed Cassidy French - Paul Geoffrey (New Rome Publishing House)
Four weeks and still no damned Gravy - Henrietta Ducout (French National Press)
The Life of James Mechaeric: Looking at the man behind the man that started the war - Henry Rogers (New York University Press)
The Wizards and the Navy - Tyo Codson (Middle Earth 2.0)
Life Before Rosemary: A Conspiracy Theorist's Confession - Anonymous Author (Baden Books)
Egypt and How I survived It - Annabelle Andrews (Discord Biography House)
The Fault in Our SoI - Math Green (Purple Publishers)
Looking for Argentina - John Indyaman (CFCP)
And then I thought... - Chester Hetherwig (Bulgaria-Romania joint Publishing House)
Oceanic Rim - Gregor Jacobin (Brandenburg and Lymn)
Orchestra of Brothers - Howard Lee (nostalgia inc.)
Calculus of One and Several More Variables 42nd Edition - Sallas, Hille Etgen (Wiley)
A Good guide to Family Planning and Childcare - John Carver (Orphanage Press)

 

[Tyo]

As GM has said a conflict decided by GM would end in status quo lets just pretend the war never happened and I'll invade you later.

Trading/travel through Russia and Russian airspace is still forbidden to the monarchists though.

 

[Mathalamus]

The Fault in Our SoI - Math Green (Purple Publishers)

i'm gonna guess it was about the Roman Empire failing to conquer the platonic Republic, when it had the chance?

 

[Sonereal]

"Chance"

 

[Jehoshua]

As GM has said a conflict decided by GM would end in status quo lets just pretend the war never happened and I'll invade you later.

Trading/travel through Russia and Russian airspace is still forbidden to the monarchists though.

I can agree to that.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

at the section of Russian paintings, he was captivated by a rather strange, uncommon work of art.

OI! I'm IOT's honourary Hetman.

There gon' be blood.

Egypt and How I survived It - Annabelle Andrews (Discord Biography House)

Ironically, the Discord ref clued me in before the initials.

 

[Ailedhoo]

The following may have occurred in five years under coalitional oversight.

The W.A.C develops heavy industry in the Gambia and other coastal nations to exploit the metals in the W.A.C and to provide a backbone to the economy. Efforts attempt to set for ship building but primal aims lay in aiding the development of automobile and construction industries, the latter especially benefiting from the Fort Gurzil project.

The W.A.C conducts experiments in artificial agriculture to sustain its populace, while a small firm known as Badjie Farming Incorporated, ruled by Tida Badjie, has become attempts to try to research methodologies into creating artificial cotton.

The military industry develops, with a specialization on light and fast vehicles under way. The order with the USA has arrived to provide a navy for the Confederation’s defense, while the Confederate air force is under development, all with the “Sudden Sandstorm Warfare Doctrine” that Field Marshal Akachi Emeagwali developed, although his college Field Marshal Olajumoke Okorie has set herself to strive for the setting of some heavy divisions under her “Stone Lighting Doctrine.”

Within Confederal Algeria will there be established a specialist military complex set as a base for the Fanon Armoured Guerrilla Division, the Desert Hyena Legion and the Hannibal Heavy Assault Division, as well as the top military research facility within the W.A.C: Fort Gurzil, serving as the prime base of Marshal Kwakú Narh, Air Marshal Ismail Zidane and, the chief of Gurzil’s research division, Dr Khalida Sidi. The Fort is still under construction but parts of the complex are being used already for ensuring security and research.

Having establish a special royal connection with Thailand the mining tycoon Kadidia Bâ has been expanding her influence in Asia, attempting to make deals with Asian powers for minerals extracted from her mines. Her rival Amadou Ouane has decided to attempt the same pratice with the Americas in hope of gaining rival clients.

Desert wind power becomes a big focus along with atomic energy in order to power up the energy sector of the W.A.F.

Attempts are made to introduce the robotics industry into the W.A.C by Dr Aboubacar Semega, CEO of Kayes Unlimited Technologies Incorporated. Dr Semega hopes to have gain technologies from deals with the Indonesian government and its corporations, as part of a deal arranged by Kadidia Bâ who herself is keen to see K.U.T.I succeed.

Okot Takana, famous comedian renewed for his leadership of the Pan-African Party of Hyenas, writes a children’s comedy book titled “Yeah goes on a cold holiday” which stars a hyena called Yeah going to Greenland for a holiday. All cash made from the book will be donated to the Wildlife Welfare Trust, a charity set to help surviving wildlife.

The band trio known as Three Stars are rising to be an overnight sensation in the W.A.C. The band is made of Issa Bocoum, Kadidia Suso and Yoro Danso, all using a mixture of genres with heavy influence from folklores throughout the nations of the W.A.C, as well as from current political events. Their top hits include “Huveane Climbs,” “The Two Bears” (about the situation in Russia) “Anansi,” “Moon and Sun” (inspired by the Dogon creation myth), “Dr O Dear” (about a political corruption case in the Gambia in which the politician Dr Omar Jarju was said to have altered his votes for cash and a small golden deer figurine) and (for a charity event hosted by Okot Takana) “Hyena Jazz”

Next: the second Confederation wide elections of the W.A.C.

OOC: all events will require the GM's approvel.

 

[Civ'ed]

So, did everyone give their orders for the timeskip yet?

 

[Terran Empress]

So, did everyone give their orders for the timeskip yet?

im still waiting for the San Francisco meeting.

 

[Ailedhoo]

In orders do I all need to do is set out the claims (which I did) and the policy I plan for development (which I did)?

I just want to be sure I did enough... that said I have yet to do the elections... when I do them I will be completed for timeskip.

 

[Tyo]

In case I can't get a map in, this is what my expansion looks like, with priorities first:
As far north as the Norwegian and Swedish borders.
Ukraine
As south Azerbaijan, Armenia, and Georgian regions and everything in between
As far East as reasonably possible

 

[Jehoshua]

As much as possible the following shall be done.

Expand South unto the Caspian sea and into central asia, east into Siberia, and north unto the white sea, along the northern rim of Lapland and claiming the arctic islands. (prioritising the initial expansion to the white sea, and southern expansion into central asia and the shores of the Caspian sea to provide a means of maritime trade, and to avoid encirclement respectively)

 

[Mosher]

Purple is PAU controlled territory, red is GEAR, dark blue is Australia. The two light blue islands would be an independent Oceanic state.

 

[eduhum]

Kamehameha stood now on the council of main governors of Oceania.
-As representative of all the citizens of the country we belong to, I'll begin the session. And let's drop off the formalities, there is not much time. From now on, the head of state Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese Efi will handle the session.
-Thank you. As you know, this San Francisco conference just ended, and their leaders, who are far away from reality, have just 'partitioned' theoretically our country. The so called advocates for peace could instigate an aggressive war, one of the first since the cataclysm. As we see, humanity hasn't learned a thing from that catastrophe, an the continental leaders are as arrogant and blind as always. But this time we will not be oppressed again. This time we are powerful. Enough to withstand an offensive with their puny navies, mostly 5 years old, while our naval tradition is millennia old. We are the sea. It is our homeland. Every citizen of our country shall be mobilized, offer his ship if he has one, and contribute to the war, if it finally happens, with his own supplies. From the Eastern Islands, how many ships and men do we have?
-The area encompassing from the Easter Island to the Cook Islands we have 75000 men and 5000 ships of different size.
-From Hawaii, 400000 men and about 7000 ships only in comparison to their size, as many don't live on the coast.
-From Hawaii southwards to Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Guam, etc. 130000 and 20000 ships.
-In Palaos, Micronesia and surroundings we are 30000 and 2500 more or less.
-In Samoa, Tonga and Tokelau we have as many as 120000 and 9000 boats.
-In Fidji and Wallis and Fortuna we have 300000 men and 15000 ships; many are traditional catamarans, as many here have.
-In Tuvalu, Vanuatu and the Salomon islands we are more or less the same than what Saka Alik just said about Fidji, etc.
-From New Caledonia, 250000 men and 20000 ships.
-In Nauru we would have 700000 men, but only about 150000 would be free from their work. We have 30000 ships, and the military navy, which has over 250 ships of different sizes and functions, including the main vanguard, 9 catamaran style carriers, all built in the shipyards of Nauru.
-Very well. Remember that this is the very maximum of personally armed manpower we can reach. Be all forces mobilized, they should go in mass to raid all the Pacific. Meanwhile, every island the enemy should try to conquer will be fought to the last man, and every disembark, a catastrophe to the enemy. Compared, Iwo Jima will be an anecdote.
Let's hope the madness of the arrogant continental leader doesn't transcend into war, for although it will be their doom, but we would be better at peace.

Spoiler :

This is not power gaming. I made the stats calculating the population on Wikipedia of every country and the total one at the stats of the last turn. I divided into three more or less leaving out women children and old people. Sorry if its inconvenient for you.

 

[Civ'ed]

Kamehameha stood now on the council of main governors of Oceania.
-As representative of all the citizens of the country we belong to, I'll begin the session. And let's drop off the formalities, there is not much time. From now on, the head of state Tuiatua Tupua Tamasese Efi will handle the session.
-Thank you. As you know, this San Francisco conference just ended, and their leaders, who are far away from reality, have just 'partitioned' theoretically our country. The so called advocates for peace could instigate an aggressive war, one of the first since the cataclysm. As we see, humanity hasn't learned a thing from that catastrophe, an the continental leaders are as arrogant and blind as always. But this time we will not be oppressed again. This time we are powerful. Enough to withstand an offensive with their puny navies, mostly 5 years old, while our naval tradition is millennia old. We are the sea. It is our homeland. Every citizen of our country shall be mobilized, offer his ship if he has one, and contribute to the war, if it finally happens, with his own supplies. From the Eastern Islands, how many ships and men do we have?
-The area encompassing from the Easter Island to the Cook Islands we have 75000 men and 5000 ships of different size.
-From Hawaii, 400000 men and about 7000 ships only in comparison to their size, as many don't live on the coast.
-From Hawaii southwards to Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Guam, etc. 130000 and 20000 ships.
-In Palaos, Micronesia and surroundings we are 30000 and 2500 more or less.
-In Samoa, Tonga and Tokelau we have as many as 120000 and 9000 boats.
-In Fidji and Wallis and Fortuna we have 300000 men and 15000 ships; many are traditional catamarans, as many here have.
-In Tuvalu, Vanuatu and the Salomon islands we are more or less the same than what Saka Alik just said about Fidji, etc.
-From New Caledonia, 250000 men and 20000 ships.
-In Nauru we would have 700000 men, but only about 150000 would be free from their work. We have 30000 ships, and the military navy, which has over 250 ships of different sizes and functions, including the main vanguard, 9 catamaran style carriers, all built in the shipyards of Nauru.
-Very well. Remember that this is the very maximum of personally armed manpower we can reach. Be all forces mobilized, they should go in mass to raid all the Pacific. Meanwhile, every island the enemy should try to conquer will be fought to the last man, and every disembark, a catastrophe to the enemy. Compared, Iwo Jima will be an anecdote.
Let's hope the madness of the arrogant continental leader doesn't transcend into war, for it will be their doom, but we would be better at peace.

Spoiler :

This is not power gaming. I made the stats calculating the population on Wikipedia of every country and the total one at the stats of the last turn. Sorry if its inconvenient.

OOC: Implying 2013/2014 statistics are wholesome and accurate for the 22nd century

 

[eduhum]

OOC: Implying 2013/2014 statistics are wholesome and accurate for the 22nd century

Implying you read all what I said
I just said I took the total population of Oceania from the stats of the last turn that Robert Can't made (6 million). And I adapted those stats to every island according to wiki so as to make them a bit more plausible.

 

[Bair_the_Normal]

So the true face of tyranny has reared its ugly head once more.

 

[eduhum]

So, we prepare for a possible savage attack without explanation, and the oppressors call us tyrants.
You cannot make an ass of yourself more than this.

 

[Bair_the_Normal]

It is liberation time.