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Imperium Offtopicum XXIII

Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by NinjaCow64, Jul 9, 2019.

  1. Double A

    Double A ♫We got the guillotine♫

    Aug 22, 2009
    As Jason steps off the Argo after driving off a spontaneous Dionysus romp, a devout citizen asks him the question he's been mentally preparing for since he vanquished Poseidon:

    "Are you a god?"

    He ponders his decision one final time. Yes, it is the best path to take.

    "What is a god? A being of great power who demands worship. Our gods are arbitrary and fickle, but powerful nonetheless. I, too, am powerful. However, I do not demand worship. What I demand is justice. I wish to see our people freed from the yoke of cruel and indifferent beings.

    I suppose if I had to describe myself in a word, it would be "titan." Strong like a god, but not unworthy of the position. I hope to continue to prove this in my defense of the Empire. The Olympians will be made to understand that they are not our masters any longer."

    (Practically, confirm godhood by a different name.)


    A brave young scientist from Athens, conveniently named Theseus, was placed in charge of the autopsy of Poseidon. After performing the necessary rituals that were practically made up on the spot, he entered with a small team and braved the horrors of the belly of a god. After being separated from his increasingly smaller team, he came across a chamber containing what appeared to be a minor Olympian - unlike Poseidon, it was bipedal and had horns like a bull. Full of curiosity and awe, Theseus climbed onto this minion of Poseidon and very scientifically started poking it.
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  2. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 The Continuation of the Dream Supporter

    Apr 4, 2010
  3. tobiisagoodboy

    tobiisagoodboy Prince

    Nov 24, 2015
    Germany, in the forest
    *Sweats in German*
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  4. Robert Can't

    Robert Can't Grantaire

    Dec 7, 2007
    The Barricade
    "There's something in the ice."

    "Nonsense, its the moonlight playing tricks on you." Two men of Siberia are clambering along a steep slope not too far from the city walls. They are careful as to where they step as the eternal semi-night of the arctic winter means there path is lit only by moonlight.

    "Evgeny," The younger of the two has a shake in his voice as he addresses his companion "I tell you there is something in the ice."

    "Bah," Evgeny brushes off the concerns "Nothing can live in that water, and even if it could it is nothing for us to worry about." The frozen pool in question is one of toxic water that fills what was once an open pit mine. It is a deep black surrounded on all sides by the steeps slopes that betray its old purpose. Far below them the moonlight does shine off the poisonous ice in quite the interesting way.

    "What about the machines?" asks the young man "Surely they can survive down there still?"

    "Machines, men, animals - all eventually die here. This land is poison and freezing death."

    Broadcast on the Citizens' Network News Service
    The Citizens' Network News Services would like to remind all citizens that the lands outside the walls can be unsafe to travel in. Be it toxic waste, the dangers of the exclusion zones or the nefarious influence of consumerism, there are simply put many dangers that ordinary citizens should not expose themselves to. Leave this business to the brave men and women of the Bureau of Citizenship and Security - they work to keep all citizens safe and free.
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