Is it possible to change your personality?

[Disgustipated]

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. Sometimes you hear stories of people changing, but I have my doubts it is possible. Most of those stories are about people changing morally. Even that I don't believe (in those cases people are just extra careful not to break the law because they don't want the punishment).

Then you have these religious awakenings too. I'm not sure I believe in those either. I think most of them are fake, and people experience these just to draw attention to themselves and make it look like they are a good person.

So can a shy person turn into an outgoing person? Can a negative person turn into a positive thinking person? This is the kind of change I'm talking about specifically. It seems to me your personality is a function of hereditary and environmental factors in childhood and cannot be significantly changed. If anyone knows any research of personality changes (not brought on by drug abuse, insanity, or other chemical/physical changes in the brain), feel free to discuss it. And share any experiences of you or anyone you know undergoing significant personality change. And yes, if anyone is wondering, I am looking to change my personality.

 

[Scratch]

You could take a rod through the head. This therapy has never really caught on though.

 

[Brian Shanahan]

So can a shy person turn into an outgoing person? Can a negative person turn into a positive thinking person? This is the kind of change I'm talking about specifically. It seems to me your personality is a function of hereditary and environmental factors. If anyone knows any research of personality changes (not brought on by drug abuse, insanity, or other chemical/physical changes in the brain), feel free to discuss it. And share any experiences of you or anyone you know undergoing significant personality change.

I would tend to take the opposite view here. I know that I have changed significantly over the course of my life so far. When I was young I was shy to the point where I'd miss my own birthday parties, and now, while I do enjoy solitude, I am quite an outgoing person being able work smoothly in groups of mixed people. I was also (you may be shocked) quite an angry young man, quick to lose the head and bull into situations, now I am a lot more mellow, while I still get angry I tend to be able to think things through a lot more easily and my anger is more controlled.

Then you've got cases of people changing through outside influence. I'm sure you either know or know of someone who has suffered serious head trauma through an accident, or have gone through a bout of PTSD and have had their personalities significantly changed as a result. The fact is the brain and the body are both quite resilient but often they cannot restore a person as before so take the next best restoration.

I'm sure there are many other ways in which people do change, but personally those would be the two areas (conscious and outside influence) where I have experience.

 

[azzaman333]

Unlikely to happen, but not impossible.

 

[MobBoss]

Its possible for Humans to do just about anything....adaptable creatures that they are.

I used to be a lib democrat (not kidding) up until I had kids and decided conservatism and self-responsibility was a more appropirate model to live by and teach my kids. So yeah, people can absolutely change.

 

[GhostWriter16]

Then you have these religious awakenings too. I'm not sure I believe in those either. I think most of them are fake, and people experience these just to draw attention to themselves and make it look like they are a good person.

That is only sometimes true. I know MY experience was real...

 

[Boundless]

So can a shy person turn into an outgoing person? Can a negative person turn into a positive thinking person? This is the kind of change I'm talking about specifically. It seems to me your personality is a function of hereditary and environmental factors in childhood and cannot be significantly changed. If anyone knows any research of personality changes (not brought on by drug abuse, insanity, or other chemical/physical changes in the brain), feel free to discuss it. And share any experiences of you or anyone you know undergoing significant personality change. And yes, if anyone is wondering, I am looking to change my personality.

Of course it can, certain life experiences change people. There's no doubt in my mind that your childhood experiences do shape who you become to a certain extent, but I also think there's no reason to suggest why experiences as an adult can't convert those personality traits, as long as it's significant enough an experience. Plus as an adult you're a huge amount more reflective. Weirdly I'm actually currently writing on something similar to this for my dissertation, and Freud writes a lot about 'uncanny' feelings that are brought to light in adulthood that were repressed in childhood. Sort of like deja-vu if you like but in a more complicated form (I'm looking at it in reference to Hamlet, and look how much HE changed, and the play's set when he's mid-30s I think?). If you can identify with those feelings, and realise what was repressed, you can reflect on it and move forward in a different manner. Also, I don't think therapy would exist if it wasn't possible to try and change the way a person thinks and behaves. Having looked a lot into CBT treatment, it's about realising what you fear and then being able to change that thought process so you don't get anxious/panicky etc etc. So, I suppose, in short, yes I completely think you can.

 

[warpus]

So can a shy person turn into an outgoing person?

I did. Sort of!

I'm not really outgoing, but I'm not that shy anymore. I used to suck at smalltalk and any sort of conversation really - but now I'm good at it.. or at least I like to think so Going out to clubs, dancing, public speaking, etc. used to scare the hell out of me but now that doesn't happen anymore.. I used to get social anxiety and now that doesn't happen.

I'm still an introvert but I feel that need to go out every once in a while - that need didn't exist before.

 

[SuperJay]

Define "personality."

 

[Zelig]

I used to be nice and polite to everyone, now I'm a raging dick due to being drunk most of the time.

 

[Terrapin]

There is a certain amount of dissonance between the OP's question and some of the responses. I read the OP's question to regard whether an adult person with an otherwise stable personality can deliberately change certain traits. Hence the examples of introverts becoming extroverts and negative Nancys turning into Positive Petras. Many of the responses regard natural growth and evolution of people's personalities from childhood to adulthood. I think we can all agree that personalities change as we grow. Other responses seem to deal with issues only tangentially related to personality. MobBoss talks about a rather common political evolution, becoming more conservative with age. But is that a change of personality? Not in the sense of introvert vs. extrovert.

 

[GoodSarmatian]

I am a naturall a shy person, but I'm getting better at hiding it and act like I'm outgoing. I force myself to talk to people I don't know and try to copy other people's behaviour .
As far as I can tell it's sometimes not even creepy or awkward. The trick is to not just mimic other behaviour, but to analyse and adapt it.
I don't know how much is me just putting on a mask or how much it is changing me, but it gets easier and easier.

 

[duckstab]

It's not only possible, it's unavoidable. A human being is not a fixed entity, but rather a dynamic process. We are constantly adapting our views and responses based on changing external conditions. So obviously, at the very least, you can voluntarily change your external conditions and that will bring about internal changes as well.

More to the point, you can consciously choose to change in certain ways. There exists a whole spectrum of techniques, from behavioral therapy to meditation, that people have been successfully applying for thousands of years to bring about desired internal transformation.

I am not the same person now that I was before I moved to Austin, got married, had kids, started practicing meditation, not by a long shot. I'm less socially awkward, less self-absorbed, less angry, more caring, more realistic.

That doesn't mean that there aren't cases where whatever changes take place are very superficial. An alcoholic can become an exercise junkie but if they're not really going deep enough they may just go from being a drunken jerk to a physically fit jerk. That happens all the time, but it doesn't mean that meaningful changes are impossible.

Nor does it follow that change is easy, or that you can just will yourself to be different than you are. But with patience, diligence and honesty, you can definitely learn to steer you mind out of its accustomed ruts.

 

[nato2101]

Trauma can create a change (normally negative), so technically it should be possible to change for the better, shouldn't it?
Also there are things which create temporary changes, drugs and alcohol but also working out or studying(which increase confidence and therefore can make people more outgoing) although they tend to take more time.

 

[Dachs]

I change my personality all the time depending on the people with whom I am interacting and the setting in which I'm doing it.

 

[Mechanicalsalvation]

I've been thinking a lot about change lately. Sometimes you hear stories of people changing, but I have my doubts it is possible. Most of those stories are about people changing morally. Even that I don't believe (in those cases people are just extra careful not to break the law because they don't want the punishment).

Then you have these religious awakenings too. I'm not sure I believe in those either. I think most of them are fake, and people experience these just to draw attention to themselves and make it look like they are a good person.

So can a shy person turn into an outgoing person? Can a negative person turn into a positive thinking person? This is the kind of change I'm talking about specifically. It seems to me your personality is a function of hereditary and environmental factors in childhood and cannot be significantly changed. If anyone knows any research of personality changes (not brought on by drug abuse, insanity, or other chemical/physical changes in the brain), feel free to discuss it. And share any experiences of you or anyone you know undergoing significant personality change. And yes, if anyone is wondering, I am looking to change my personality.

I think it is totaly possible to change anything. In fact nothing remains the same. That is a nature of things. It may be a very slow process but it is constant. But I understand that you want something radical and immediately satisfaing like an instant coffee? That, I am afraid is very rare. The instrument for change of anything is willpower and not many people have it and to develop it takes ages (I still think its good investment though)
The good question would be why whould you like to do that? What are your motives?
I have times I am sick of myself or my enviroment. But I find it easier just to be myself, do things my own way, enjoy things I do. And if something I like comes along I learn it or try to acquire it and by that proces, if I stick to it I change. This change gives me satisfaction, joy and patiance to deal with anything I need in my life.

 

[Mechanicalsalvation]

I change my personality all the time depending on the people with whom I am interacting and the setting in which I'm doing it.

It means you have flexible personality. You change attitude and adapt to the people which surround you. You dont change your personality.

 

[bernie14]

a simplistic view of personality in general:

You “personality” may be defined as an enduring and fairly stable pattern of personal perception and behavior which usually begins to manifest in early childhood and affects how each person perceives and interprets oneself (interior) and environmental (external) factors and how each person tends to react emotionally to these factors.
Among the personality disorders, there are what we refer to as “ the weird the wild and the wacky”. The weird include paranoid, schizoid and schizotypal, the wild, include sociopathic, histrionic, borderline and narcissistic, and the wacky include avoidant, dependent and obsessive/compulsive personality disorders.
Exactly how your personality is unknown, but both nature and nurture are probably envolved…..to use a crude example, let’s say that your “city hall” (brain/DNA) plans and builds multiple routes to get to the same destination, each “road” has a particular ease of travel, so you tend to always use the same path, in time, by habit, that “road” is expanded and modernized and the others decay…..now, how bout if there is an earthquake that destroys your nice road…..you gotta learn an alternative path…..if we use this analogy on personalities, the problem tends to occur NOT because u use one road more than others, but when you tend to ONLY use one road, that is, if u have some paranoid and some obsessive and some avoidant and some narcissistic, etc traits, u are likely better able to deal with circumstances/stressors, than someone whose traits are all related to one personality style.
Personalities are very hard to change. I can think of two circumstances that cause relatively quick personality changes, these include certain types of traumatic brain injuries, “life or death/ life changing” type emotional experiences….these may be akin to the “earthquake” mentioned above. That is not to say that people can’t change. It requires significant motivation, it is very uncomfortable, feels unnatural….to use another analogy, it would be like learning to be use your non-dominant hand or learn a new language like a native, but 10x harder cuz u are dealing with issues OUTSIDE your consciousness!

questions? comments?.....i dont think the mods would be happy with specific recommendations but i would be happy to explain genral questions

 

[Dachs]

It means you have flexible personality. You change attitude and adapt to the people which surround you. You dont change your personality.

Pft, that's just redefining the word.

 

[Mechanicalsalvation]

You could take a rod through the head. This therapy has never really caught on though.

Been there, done that, have a T shirt....