Van Halen: Krunk where is the Oracle? What is taking him so long?"
Krunk: The Oracle? He ventured high upon the mountains, to meditate and recieve a vision from the One.
Van Halen: I know that you moron, he is taking much longer then he said he would.
Krunk: Well it's not Krunk's fault!
Van Halen: Like it wasnt your fault when you forgot to report for almost 6 months that the Chipites landed on this island.
Krunk: Krunk forgot, Krunk is sorry
Van Halen: Krunk is a drunk imbecile. Now now, dont be sad, you have your uses, sure you are dumb as an ox, but you at least make a good meat shield.
Krunk: ^_^ Krunk is happy he has good friend.
Van Halen: Yeees, right. Anyway the mobs outside are going crazy, they'll pulverize us unless they get a word from the Oracle soon.
Then, the door smashed down and an old man with a stick was standing on top of them. He had pale skin and a long white hair and beard paired with his white robes and as you can guess a white hat. Aside from being called the Oracle, he was also called Whity, for he was so white he would often blind people when they would look at him.
Van Halen: There you are, for One's sakes where the hell have you been you old deluded fool! And your paying for that door, just so we are clear.
Whity: Well I was going down the mountains and I got lost in a tavern errr a cave.
Van Halen: Whatever, give me that pimp stick of yours and get out on the balcony and work you magic on the people.
Thus Whity stepped out onto the balcony, the crowded masses eagerly awaiting him to speak and absorb his every word.
Whity: People of Exilsium, I have meditated for 7 days and 7 nights in the Pointy Mountains under a waterfall, awaiting a vision from the One. Alas I have gotten it, along with a pain in my back. My mind was as though in a storm, flashed with many images and word. Then the storm settled and I could see I was in the old Eden from which we were banished from. There was even a rainbow with cute little bunnies hoping around. Then with a great booming voice the One spoke to me. He saith unto me:
" Hard times have fallen on the people, and many enemies surround them. These foreign devils seek to destroy you, enslave you and tempt you into hellfire and damnation. Long ago there was a Man among you who could shape the world as he saw fit, he was my Avatar, he brought Light, Order and Truth where they were none. However once you were Exiled unto this earth for your sins, you didnt deserve it and I unmade him. Now, after so many years it is the time for him to return and save you. "
Whity: He gave us several markers from which we shall recognize him, like that he will be able to dodge a barrage on arrows and take over 20 men in hand-to-hand combat. He is already among us, mere mortals, but he is not aware of his potential. In order to find him we are to build a magnificent fleet of ships, with the flagship named Black Pearl. And we are to practice this thing called piracy! I need to further medtiation on that. Also we are to build a magnificent city at the foothills of the Pointy Mountains named Zion. Only then the One shall appear.
I must to warn you however, Eden was beautiful, but the One wanted to show me what would happen if we failed to find HIM. It was peaceful at one moment and then, it happened...NINJAS! THOUSANDS OF THEM! It was horror, pure horror I tell you, but then my saviours showed up. PIRATES! DOZENS OF THEM! The pirate leader had a long black beard, an eyepatch and hat with a symbol of a skull with crossbones on it. Was this the self image of the One? I do not know, all I've seen is that vastly outnumbered they slaughtered all of them ninjas and saved me. Salvation is near folks, lets get to work!
Also you hot girl with the pink hair in the crowd! Guards bathe her and bring her to me! She is vital to my meditation kekekekeke.