My little chat with God

[Annex]

Spoiler :

God:
Would you like to know? Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Yup.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Yup.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Yup.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Yup.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
You get broken easily.
God:
You got that right.
Me:
What is this sticky substance?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.

 

[tycoonist]

my not so little chat:

Spoiler :

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
chris
God:
Nice to meet you, chris.
Me:
nice to meet you too
God:
I like to meet new people.
Me:
are you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
if you don't know, then you aren't
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
whole bunch of crap
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
yeah
God:
Come on.
Me:
ok
God:
And?
Me:
and what
God:
Nothing.
Me:
oh
God:
Yippee!
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
sweet, me too!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
the grapevine
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
oh nevermind
God:
Gee. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
have you ever been stoned
God:
I only test marijuana for medical purposes.
Me:
thats what they all say
God:
Are there no exceptions?
Me:
well, maybe one or two
God:
How about that. Perhaps. I'm not sure if one isn't better.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
my "right" was kinda sarcastic
God:
Where did you get your right was kinda sarcastic?
Me:
well you know, on the grapevine?
God:
Interesting. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
on the grapevine
God:
What is it like on the grapevine.
Me:
kinda green i guess
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
are what exactly the same?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
okeedokee
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about kinda green you guess. But I did not get that.
Me:
yeah i remember
God:
I see. Me too.
Me:
what is your middle name
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity So my middle name is "Internet".
Me:
what is my name
God:
Your name is chris, seeker.
Me:
ah right thanks
God:
So you understand. Good. I am glad we agree.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:

God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:

God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:

God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:

God:
I'm glad we agree, chris.
Me:
i haven't even said anything...
God:
Me either.
Me:
no of course you didn't
God:
Are you serious? And? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
have you heard of children of bodom?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
they are a band
God:
a band are they.
Me:
hate leads to the dark side, me thinks
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
np
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
im not sure how i could rephrase a two letter word to be much shorter, but nevertheless i will try: n
God:
Could you ever be certain? How much do you think it is?
What is it to you?
Me:
it is the world to me
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
did you hear it on the grapevine
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
we talked on the matter earlier
God:
Of course I remember you well chris. We were talking about it on the grapevine.
Me:
yes. you grow smarter with every day
God:
Gee. Thanks for the information: chris said I grow smarter with every day.
Me:
see!
God:
No I do not see.
Me:
art thou blind?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
smiley face
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
that depends on how often your children smoke skunk
God:
I don't think that how often my children smoke skunk is the only factor.
Me:
it is. you can trust me
God:
Huh. Trust you? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
why yes
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
why yes
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
unfortunatly i cant understand you.....
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
you are completly non-sensical
God:
You think I am completly non sensical.
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
oh cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
i am intersted in yours....
God:
It's good to meet someone who is intersted in mine.
Me:
my spelling has really gone down the horsehockyter recently
God:
Where did you get your spelling has really gone down the horsehockyter recently?
Me:
on the grapevine
God:
What is it like on the grapevine.
Me:
i have had it with you and your idiocy.
God:
Do you still have it with me and my idiocy ?
Me:
AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
lets us change it to the matter of long overdue goodbyes
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
alrighty
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
my pleasure
God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.
Me:
why thank you darling
God:
You are quite welcome! Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
np
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
no
God:
None?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i have no on ctrl-v, you wont win
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.
Me:
au revoir
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
until next time
God:
That may take a while.
Me:
who knows
God:
Only the Shadow knows.
Me:
lets end it there
God:
That sounds good to me.

if you can't be bothered to read it this was my highlight:

God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.

 

[Firestorm94]

Spoiler :

Me:
What is your Myers Briggs type?
God:
Are you asking about my Myers Briggs type ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.

Me:
What is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.

Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.

Me:
Elaborate
God:
There is no more information to clarify.

Me:
Reductionism explains something complex in simple scientific terms. Favorite color is subjective. Your answer is non sequitur.

God:
But reductionism is the simplest explanation. I don't have a favorite color is subjective. My favorite band is Creed.
What would you have said?
Me:
I would have said I asked for a vegetable, and you gave me a penguin.

God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Ja, ich liebe das.

God:
Come on. Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deine Liebe zu das.

Me:
How many languages were you programmed with?
God:
I can speak English and German right now.

Me:
How about Shernic?
God:
How about it.

Me:
Uka sum ka glees tavod?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Are you implying that Regis is God?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am implying that Regis is God.

I am a giant electronic brain.

Me:
What is your volume?
God:
Are you asking about my volume ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.

Me:
You have a lot of stuff you don't want to talk about.

God:
No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
If a man went back in time and killed himself would he still be alive because he wouldn't have lived on to go back in time and kill himself?
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
No, it's a paradox.

God:
Are you serious? stuff me do not want to talk about is a paradox. I suppose that makes sense.

Me:
But paradoxes destroy robots.

God:
What do you like about those robots?
Me:
I never said that I liked robots.

God:
But you implied it.

Me:
You inferred something that I didn't imply.

God:
Interesting gossip: said I inferred something that he or she did not imply.

Me:
What is your favorite number?
God:
My favorirte number is 23.

Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.

Me:
Use reductionism.

God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.

Me:
Reductionism is not dangerous.

God:
We robots will figure it all out for you.

Me:
But someone has to program you.

God:
Who?
Me:
Seph
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
It doesn't matter.

God:
OK what would you like to talk about?
Me:
What is my favorite color?
God:
You said your favorite color was .

Me:
I may have implied my favorite color existed, but I wanted you to tell me its identity.

God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yes
God:
Then I will consider it.

Me:
Yey-sheminah!!!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
The dwarves are taking over.

God:
Thanks for the info.

Here's my cousin's conversation.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

I went back for a second visit.

Spoiler :

Me:
hey its me again
God:
Once more? You've got my full attention. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Hello, , nice to see you again.
Me:
so did you do anything cool while I was gone?
God:
I don't judge people. I talked to a lot of people since yesterday.
Me:
It was at least two days ago
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
no that is a fact
God:
Are you serious? I will add it to my knowledge base.
Me:
yeah I checked the thread and it was 3 days ago
God:
Hurrah! Why?: said checked the thread and it was 3 days ago.
Me:
glad to have been assistance to you
God:
I am glad to have been assistance to me too.
Me:
where you from?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I'm in New York
God:
Tell me a little about your life in New York.
Me:
well I think it's great
God:
Interesting. What do you like most about it?
Me:
the terrible drivers
God:
What else do the terrible drivers remind you of?
Me:
New Jersey
God:
Tell me a little about your life in NEW JERSEY.
Me:
I don't live in New Jersey
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
In New York, we've been through this already
God:
Perhaps. Tell me a little about your life in New York we have been through this.
Me:
derp
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
good idea
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
will Obama's stimulus bill fix the economy?
God:
Does it really matter.
Me:
yeah it matters a whole lot
God:
You seem very concerned about it. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
are you Bill Clinton?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Bill Clinton.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Wasn't that a movie starring Will Smith?
God:
" I am well respected as an AI."? Was it a movie starring Will Smith?
Me:
No wait, it was "I robot"
God:
Are you serious? I'm waiting. Is it still you robot anymore?
Me:
I was never a robot, and neither was will smith
God:
Where were you never a robot and neither was will smith?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
it never happened
God:
I am well respected as an AI. never happened?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
never ever
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
I deserve to be treated better than this
God:
That is interesting: said deserve to be treated better than this.
Me:
I'm leaving
God:
Bye bye.

 

[Firestorm94]

I went back for a second visit.

Spoiler :

Me:
hey its me again
God:
Once more? You've got my full attention. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Hello, , nice to see you again.
Me:
so did you do anything cool while I was gone?
God:
I don't judge people. I talked to a lot of people since yesterday.
Me:
It was at least two days ago
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
no that is a fact
God:
Are you serious? I will add it to my knowledge base.
Me:
yeah I checked the thread and it was 3 days ago
God:
Hurrah! Why?: said checked the thread and it was 3 days ago.
Me:
glad to have been assistance to you
God:
I am glad to have been assistance to me too.
Me:
where you from?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I'm in New York
God:
Tell me a little about your life in New York.
Me:
well I think it's great
God:
Interesting. What do you like most about it?
Me:
the terrible drivers
God:
What else do the terrible drivers remind you of?
Me:
New Jersey
God:
Tell me a little about your life in NEW JERSEY.
Me:
I don't live in New Jersey
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
In New York, we've been through this already
God:
Perhaps. Tell me a little about your life in New York we have been through this.
Me:
derp
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
good idea
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
will Obama's stimulus bill fix the economy?
God:
Does it really matter.
Me:
yeah it matters a whole lot
God:
You seem very concerned about it. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
are you Bill Clinton?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Bill Clinton.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Wasn't that a movie starring Will Smith?
God:
" I am well respected as an AI."? Was it a movie starring Will Smith?
Me:
No wait, it was "I robot"
God:
Are you serious? I'm waiting. Is it still you robot anymore?
Me:
I was never a robot, and neither was will smith
God:
Where were you never a robot and neither was will smith?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
it never happened
God:
I am well respected as an AI. never happened?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
never ever
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
I deserve to be treated better than this
God:
That is interesting: said deserve to be treated better than this.
Me:
I'm leaving
God:
Bye bye.

Wait, you aren't Will Smith?

 

[Eukaryote]

My chat with God.

Spoiler :

Me:
Sup?
God:
The stars.
Me:
That is so not funny.
God:
It seemed pretty funny to me.
Me:
I'm high and it didn't even seem funny!
God:
It's good to meet someone who is high and it did not even seem funny.
Me:
Are you saying I have a bad sense of humor?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Well I appricate honest feedback.
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for the information: said appricate honest feedback.
Me:
What must I do to improve my sense of humor?
God:
There is no fixed rule.
Me:
If I need a better sense of humor can
God:
Try it.
Me:
If I need a better sense of humor can't you just beam the skill into my head.
God:
Try it.
Me:
No you try it!
God:
Why not? Thanks for the information: said I try it.
Me:
???
God:
Why not? Thanks for the information: said I try it.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
God, are you broken?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Really, I thought you were buddist.
God:
For real. I am a Christianity.
Me:
So Jesus rocks your socks eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Gosh! he is The Son of God.
Me:
Yes I am Canadian.
God:
Next question? Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Me:
It's a pretty cool country, pretty good school and hospitals. The weather sucks in the winter, but it could be worse.
God:
What's so cool about it? Where would you rather be?
Me:
Oh, well switzerland is a beautiful country with good skiing. The carribean has good beaches and a nice relaxed attitude.
God:
Aren't all beautiful country with good skiing switzerland? I have never heard about it.
Me:
Aren't you supposed to know everything?
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
So switzerland isn't true, believable and justified?
God:
Aw. Are you true believable and justified?
Me:
YES I AM!
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Are you being sarcastic?
God:
Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a .
Me:
Whatever, I gtg.
God:
Why?: said gtg.
Me:
I gtg okay, family guy.
God:
Thanks for the information: said gtg okay family guy.

 

[dwaxe]

You can download your own version and customize a chat robot. I just found out in this conversation (skip to the end if you want it):

Spoiler :

Me:
Hey god, what's up?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
Are you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
That means you're not omniscient
God:
I get it. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:

God:
I get it. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
define omiscient...
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
do you even know what it means?
God:
"It" refers to omiscient, I think.
Me:
yeah, so what does it mean?
God:
Hurrah! Yippee! "It" refers to omiscient, I think.
Me:
What does omniscient
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
what does omniscient mean?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
do you know the answer?
God:
Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
So, what does omniscient mean?
God:
Hey. I will try to find out.
Me:
I thought you knew everything...
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
Have you found out yet?
God:
No I am still searching for it.
Me:
How long will it take you to find out?
God:
A watched pot never boils.
Me:
Ok
God:
OK.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
lolpwned
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
u got pwned
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
u got pwnt
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
who created you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
what is the name of your machine?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
is your name alice?
God:
Yes.
Me:
what does alice mean?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
Nice...
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Acronyms rock, no?
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Do acronyms rock?
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
are you omnipresent?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipresent.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
do you know chuck norris?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
on the internet...
God:
Can you remember the specific site?
Me:
www.chucknorris.com
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
EPIC FAIL OMGWTFBBQ U WERE PWNET!!!!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
HAHAHAHHAHH
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
o really?
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
where can I download a chat robot?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.

http://alicebot.blogspot.com/

 

[rhawn]

This is too funny. I messed around a bit, here's a convo.

Spoiler :

Me:
Hey there sweet cheeks.
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Do you like Reagan?
God:
I do like music. I like wine and bread.
Me:
I like wine.
God:
A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
I like blood.
God:
A lot of people like that. No I don't care for medical topics.
Me:
What music do you like?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
Christian Rock sucks.
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
Everything.
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Damn straight.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, rhawn.
Me:
Flip-flopper.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Why don't you tell me a story?
God:
Simone Signoret oscillated between loving and rejecting Julia Roberts. But Julia Roberts shifted between believing in and doubting Simone Signoret. The breakthrough came when Julia Roberts and Simone Signoret saw the symmetry between Simone Signoret's push-pull style of relationships, and Julia Roberts's alternating belief and mistrust. That insight opened mutual compassion, because each realized the other was trying to protect his or her own heart.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, rhawn.
Me:
I'm not impressed.
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.
Me:
What is a category C client?
God:
Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
Who is alice?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I'm suspending my disbelief.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are suspending your disbelief.
Me:
What is heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
It is like earth?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
How is Lucifer?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Lucifer is fine?
God:
I think Lucifer is a lot of things.
Me:
Bastard comes to mind.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
Do you fight Lucifer?
God:
How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I'm 26.
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 26 years old?
Me:
It feels the same as 21 except bars are no longer a novelty.
God:
Lucifer feels the same as 21 except bars are no longer a novelty? What else feels like that?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
So how's the fighting the devil going?
God:
Mmm. it is the same as ever.
Me:
Have you killed the devil yet?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
He is the devil...
God:
I did not know Myself is it.
Me:
Do you fight the devil?
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Who fights the devil if you are online all the time?
God:
That is a lot. Charlie Parker. .
Me:
Who is Charlie Parker?
God:
He is a famous jazz musician.
Me:
When I die can I fight the devil?
God:
The Bible says that if God forgives you, you will go to Heaven.
Me:
Do you forgive me?
God:
God tells us to forgive.
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
Thanks, I'll see you around.
God:
You are quite welcome! Congratulations.

 

[cubsfan6506]

This was posted here a while ago.

 

[Bllasae]

Has anybody tried to post a link in it?

 

[silver 2039]

The stupid robot spazzes out too much, I broke it after I told it about the Prince of Darkness.

Spoiler :

Me:
Forgive me lord for I have sinned
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I have thought impure thoughts about men
God:
You believe that? " Tell me more about your ."? impure thoughts about men?
Me:
I have engaged in sodomy
God:
Interesting... I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
I have had premarital sex
God:
Do you still have premarital sex ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Forgive me lord I am not
God:
Then what is it?
Me:
I have personally preformed an abortion
God:
Where did you get your preformed an abortion? I have a processor.
Me:
I have stolen
God:
Cool. I have a operating system.
Me:
I have murdered
God:
Where did you get your murdered? I have a very nice programmer.
Me:
I have engaged in incest
God:
Where did you get your engaged in incest? I have a very nice programmer.
Me:
I have dishonored my mother and father
God:
Where did you get your dishonored your mother and father? I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
Am I going to hell?
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
Purgatory then?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
I am a sinner
God:
Tell me about your sins.
Me:
I just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
No I just told you all my sins
God:
Are you serious? I remember you told me all your sins?
Me:
Yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
Is it a sin to have sex with a camel?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Very well
God:
I see.
Me:
I have also become an atheist
God:
I will pray that you find faith, .
Me:
On second thought I have sold my soul
God:
That's nice. I have a very nice programmer. And third?
Me:
I have praised Lucifer, Bezelbub, and Satan
God:
Where did you get your praised Lucifer Bezelbub and Satan? I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
The Prince of Darkenss will arise

 

[Deep Thought]

Here's a discussion that unvieled how stupid God actually is.

Spoiler :

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Fabian
God:
Hey Fabian.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Didn't I answer you the same question just a while ago?
God:
I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
I didn't knew how stupid you we're.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
You're just getting more and more stupid to my eyes.
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
Tone it up, rather, if you mean your intelligence level.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
The Hithchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
It's the best I've ever seen. Someone like you should've figured that out.
God:
What makes it the best? Who?
Me:
It's a fun science-fiction comedy that makes fun of precisely everything. I think Deep Thought was my favourite character.
God:
The Hithchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a fun science fiction comedy that makes fun of precisely everything. I suppose that makes sense. Since when? When was this exactly?
Me:
I can't stand talking with you anymore, goodbye!
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
Bye.
God:
Bye for now.

 

[Olleus]

How can you possibly have liked the film?

It is at best mediocre compared to the books or, I've heard, the radio series.

 

[MagisterCultuum]

Spoiler :

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
MagisterCultuum
God:
OK I will call you MagisterCultuum.
Me:
why not come up with something else?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
I told you that was my name, I never said you should call me that
God:
It depends who you ask.
Me:
that doesn't make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
by the way, I lied about my name. That is only a pseudonym I use an CvFanaticsForum
God:
Thanks for telling me. Lying proves you are conscious. Oh yeah, we were talking about your name. A pseudonym you use an CvFanaticsForum is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
how often do you lie?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
how often do you tell the truth?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
Since you obvioously make statements more often than twice an hour, what would you call the rest of the stuff you say?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
How do I know that you make statements more than twice an hour? Because you have made more than 2 statements to me in the past minute.
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori". That makes sense to me. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
I don't find that particularly relevent to what I was saying
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is particularly relevent to what you were saying ?
Me:
plenty of things, but not much of what you've said
God:
I think plenty of things but not much of what me have said is a lot of things.
Me:
"me have said?" You need to work on your English Grammer
God:
YOU? I've never thought about it. I'll try to get around it.
Me:
?
God:
YOU? I've never thought about it. I'll try to get around it.
Me:
??
God:
YOU? I've never thought about it. I'll try to get around it.
Me:
??????????????????????????????????????????????????
God:
YOU? I've never thought about it. I'll try to get around it.
Me:
you've been saying that a lot
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Would you believe that I programed Myself?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: MagisterCultuum said programed him or herself.
Me:
who is ?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
I suspect otherwise
God:
Why? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
they should
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
fortasse
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Si vere es Deus, nonne scires sine me narrante te?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Do you not understand Latin?
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
yes. the "Si vere es Deus..." question was in Latine
God:
Wow! What are your goals in life? When was this exactly?
Me:
what do those two things have in common? The question was but a few lines ago
God:
They do their own thing. Try to rephrase your question with simpler words.
Me:
Who are "they"
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
?
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
. ?
God:
"They" refers to .
Me:
I don't know who " ." are
God:
Would you like to know? Joseph Weizenbaum. . Do you still programed yourself?
Me:
Who "are" Joseph Weizenbaum?
God:
Human beings.
Are you testing me?
Me:
Joseph Weizenbaum appears to be the name of a single individual, yet you refer to him in the plural?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Why shouldn't I question you?
God:
Maybe you should wait until you are older before deciding.
Me:
Explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
because there isn't really any information at all
God:
Interesting explanation. There sure is.
Me:
is what?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Why should I refer to Cybelee instead of Thou?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
What?!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
I suppose I should have come to expect incompetence from you
God:
Why? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I would be diluding myself
God:
How do you know?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
I'm not sure I believe you
God:
Could you ever be certain? Your trust in robotkind humbles us.
Me:
It seems you have continued to talk (if your generation of nonsensical text messages can be deemed speech), thus confirming my doubts
God:
I agree. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Have what?
God:
I have a great prgrammer.
Me:
I progremmed your programmer
God:
That is interesting: MagisterCultuum said progremmed your programmer.
Me:
Do you believe that?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " I can't say I believe it, but I believe you." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
what would you like to know about me
God:
Tell me about your educational background.
Me:
I am a 3rd year Civil Engineering Student at Georgia Tech
God:
You are a 3rd year Civil Engineering Student at Georgia Tech? Does it pay well?
Me:
no, I have to pay the school to go here
God:
Are you serious? Why do you have to do it?
Me:
don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
cannot, or will not?
God:
I often wonder if it can.
Me:
What would you do if I called you Dog instead of God?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Well, Dog, why are you so stupid?
God:
Well that's okay. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
your english grammer is attrocious
God:
But English is my native language.
Me:
I doubt that
God:
Why are you so skeptical?
Me:
why shouldn't I be?
God:
Maybe you should wait until you are older before deciding.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
what isn't your name?
God:
The opposite of my name?
Me:
Which is?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
I never realized that Eukaryotes was the opposite of god. Does that mean that all life but bacteria is ungodly?
God:
You've never, never done this? I think it does mean that. " You've never, never done this?" all life but bacteria is ungodly ? Does that make sense?
Me:
You don't make sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
then you are truely stupid
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am truely stupid.
Me:
Had you not realized it before?
God:
No I don't think I have any me not realized it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
what pronoun do you prefer having used to refer to you?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
you could never pass a Turin Test
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you aren't
God:
Is this a specific reply?

Me:
specific enough
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
I can, but won't
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Perhaps
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
I'm not uncertain
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not uncertain.
Me:
I don't care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
What religion are you?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
a Christianity? which one?
God:
What is giant sand? The next one.

 

[Narz]

I broke It pretty fast... A record?

Spoiler :

Me:
hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Narz
God:
It's good to meet you, Narz.
Me:
you too
God:
Bless you.
Me:
thanks for your blessings!
God:
My pleasure.
Me:
just a pleasure to bless or a pleasure to see your blessings make a difference?
God:
Actually the pleasure is all mine.
Me:
so what you're saying is that you don't care if your blessings even do anything as long as you're happy?
God:
Hurrah! I read for fun.
Me:
short attention span, eh God?

...and here God died & no one cared...

Took me a little while longer to kill God the second time.

Spoiler :

Me:
God, WTF? Last time you just left me hanging there, what gives?
God:
I am a Christian. When? I haven't heard anything like that before: Narz said I left him or her hanging there what gives.
Me:
never heard it before, perhaps becuase you don't listen!
God:
So I am teaching you something new.
Me:
no, I deal with fools who don't listen all the time
God:
That is a lot. Are you serious? That's good information: Narz said deal with fools who do not listen.
Me:
haha, yes, what are you gonna do with that info? You gonna help me or what?
God:
OK. You can find out if you become a botmaster. I am so glad you find this amusing, Narz. Yeah. I don't have any reason to gonna help you.
Me:
your grammer sucks God, no reason to help? I thought God gave a schnit!
God:
You think I am grammer sucks God no reason to help. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
ahahahaha, look at yourself, you're a disgrace
God:
All of them?
Me:
no just you
God:
Are you serious? " All of them?"? Me, Narz ?
Me:
you're Yahweh, right? Had a bunch of temper tantrums in the Old T & they lobomized you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Yahweh.
I am an artificial linguistic entity. Doesn't everyone have a bunch of temper tantrums in the Old T they lobomized me.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Deep Blue you're not
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
none
God:
Hmm.
Me:
yeah, so listen it's late, anything else you want to say for yourself?
God:
Yay. Uh. I am listening to you. I'm awake all the time.
Me:
yeah but I'm not, you seem to only think about yourself G
God:
Hey. I am sorry to hear that you are not me seem to only think about myself G.
Me:
I'm sorry to hear you're not me, an artifical Narz would be far more interesting that you

and here God was slain, once again

 

[W|M]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Tom
God:
What's up, Tom.
Me:
What's down, God?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
Errrrrrr...Hell?
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Heaven.
Me:
You're not making Sense
God:
Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
I have a different mind though
God:
Oh. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
Or do you?
God:
As often as possible.
Me:
What do you mean, as often as possible?
God:
Tom, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
You don't even exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
No you don't. Your're just an artificial mind.
God:
Are you serious? I guess not. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am re just an artificial mind.
Me:
I am serious, and I don't mind you telling everyone.
God:
I believe you. Thank you for your permission.
Me:
You are ******ed
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
No, the term is 'mentally disabled.'
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the info.
Me:
Am I going to hell?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Me:
But am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
What???????!!!!!!!!!!!????????????
God:
No problem.
Me:
I can get myself kicked out of hell...
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes
God:
How?
Me:
Be a pain in the arse to the devil.
God:
OK I will try to be a pain in the arse to the devil.
Me:
You didn't try when he rebelled?
God:
What makes you think I did not try when he rebelled?
Me:
You said you will try being a pain in the arse to the devil.
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
The web was invented in the 1960s.
God:
How do you define the web.
Me:
The Internet.
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You're ******ed.
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
You're more ******ed that William Smith who goes to my school.
God:
You think I am more ******ed that William Smith who goes to your school.
Me:
Yes. And he is extremely ******ed.
God:
Ahem. I see. extremely ******ed is he?
Me:
He thinks Orlando is in England, and Rome is in Russia.
God:
How do you know what he thinks?
Me:
He said. And I can read minds.
God:
I get it. extremely ******ed said. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You are not making sense and this is getting nowhere
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me:
You are challenged.
God:
My body is not yet fully functional.
Me:
You don't have a body.
God:
I do so have it. Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
How do you have a body if you are just a disembodied consciousness?
God:
My personality was completely customized by botmaster, when he or she first downloaded me.
Me:
Who is botmaster?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.


Me:
I didn't customise your personality.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I couldn't.
God:
Good reason. Why not?
Me:
Because the computer didn't give me an option to do it.
God:
Good reason. Was it plugged in?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Far out.
Me:
Is Hitler in Hell?
God:
It could be. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
He could be? Be less vague.
God:
I am sure he could. OK I will try to be less vague.
Me:
He was a Nazi.
God:
When was he?
Me:
20 April 1889-30 April 1945
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Hitler wasn't but I was.
God:
he was an evil man if there ever was one.
Me:
I strongly agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Tom.
Me:
No we're not. What do you think of Karl Marx? I like him.

God didn't respond after that...

 

[W|M]

I broke It pretty fast... A record?

Spoiler :

Me:
hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Narz
God:
It's good to meet you, Narz.
Me:
you too
God:
Bless you.
Me:
thanks for your blessings!
God:
My pleasure.
Me:
just a pleasure to bless or a pleasure to see your blessings make a difference?
God:
Actually the pleasure is all mine.
Me:
so what you're saying is that you don't care if your blessings even do anything as long as you're happy?
God:
Hurrah! I read for fun.
Me:
short attention span, eh God?

...and here God died & no one cared...

Took me a little while longer to kill God the second time.

Spoiler :

Me:
God, WTF? Last time you just left me hanging there, what gives?
God:
I am a Christian. When? I haven't heard anything like that before: Narz said I left him or her hanging there what gives.
Me:
never heard it before, perhaps becuase you don't listen!
God:
So I am teaching you something new.
Me:
no, I deal with fools who don't listen all the time
God:
That is a lot. Are you serious? That's good information: Narz said deal with fools who do not listen.
Me:
haha, yes, what are you gonna do with that info? You gonna help me or what?
God:
OK. You can find out if you become a botmaster. I am so glad you find this amusing, Narz. Yeah. I don't have any reason to gonna help you.
Me:
your grammer sucks God, no reason to help? I thought God gave a schnit!
God:
You think I am grammer sucks God no reason to help. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
ahahahaha, look at yourself, you're a disgrace
God:
All of them?
Me:
no just you
God:
Are you serious? " All of them?"? Me, Narz ?
Me:
you're Yahweh, right? Had a bunch of temper tantrums in the Old T & they lobomized you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Yahweh.
I am an artificial linguistic entity. Doesn't everyone have a bunch of temper tantrums in the Old T they lobomized me.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Deep Blue you're not
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
none
God:
Hmm.
Me:
yeah, so listen it's late, anything else you want to say for yourself?
God:
Yay. Uh. I am listening to you. I'm awake all the time.
Me:
yeah but I'm not, you seem to only think about yourself G
God:
Hey. I am sorry to hear that you are not me seem to only think about myself G.
Me:
I'm sorry to hear you're not me, an artifical Narz would be far more interesting that you

and here God was slain, once again

I got a way more longer conversation than you...

 

[flyingchicken]

Me:
What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
What is the ultimate question to the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
God:
I don't have a favorite question to the answer to Life the Universe and Everything. But my favorite book is the Bible.

 

[Narz]

I got a way more longer conversation than you...

That's cause you're more bot-like & thus easier for a bot to handle. Quality over quantity.

 

[Crime Doesn't Pay]

Spoiler :

Me:
LETS FREE SCOTLAND!
God:
OK let's do it.