NESLife attempt #3

It was meant to be Von Dunkelheit- the penguin got his facts wrong, and Von Dunkhelheit couldn't be bothered correcting him.

The Coalition Expedition:
“Could you stop hogging the window? Others wanna look too, you know.”
“Sorry” said Kira, looking behind him. It was some guy he didn’t know- one of the mercenaries, probably.

The person seemed annoyed. “Could you move, please?”
“Right.”

Kira walked away- he didn’t want any trouble. “Mercs” like him, as they were called, tended to be very stubborn, and if he hadn’t given way the man probably would have punched him.

Most of the people he knew in the room were as expected. Joso was sitting bored by a nearby window, Naman was playing chess with some random, Dosios was obsessively practicing his fencing, and Kakriak was telling what sounded like an amusing anecdote. Kira wasn’t in the mood, though.

Not being able to think of much to do, Kira decided to go up to the window Joso was looking through. Since he was trying not to be bored, it wasn’t the most logical thing to do, but people in general aren’t logical.
“Hi”
“Hi”
“You bored?”
“Yea.”

That wasn’t much of a surprise- Joso was always bored. They’d even tried drugging him, but for the past five decades he’d been bored anyway. It was some sort of medical condition, and somehow it was still there.

Tagero stood up on the stand. Kira didn’t know him, but knew his name- he was in charge of the whole thing. Much as he tried, he was always distant from those he commanded. It was his money behind the expedition, though.

“People! I have an announcement to make.”

Most, though not all of the room turned to attention. Dosios was an exception, but that was as expected.

“Men of the Coalition Expedition! We are about to reach Kothora, and by doing so will fulfill what we have set out to do! Divided we may seem, but in truth we stand united- and ready to fulfill our cause!”

People clapped, but only because they were supposed to. The cause was in no way united- in practice and in theory, the ship was divided into three separate groups.

The Society for Living Space argued that the galaxy was overcrowded and house prices were too high, so it wasn’t worth the price of having Nature Zones. The Society for Good Philosophy argued that the kind of sentient species likely to come out of Kothora would be a genuinely inferior race, but due to fears of racism would not be treated as such- or at least, that’s how the others understood it. They tended to have highly philosophy arguments Kira couldn’t keep track of.

Finally, there was the mercenaries- they were obviously in it for the money. Kakriak was the only decent one among them- the rest were brutal thugs as far as Kira was concerned. The tension between them and the others made a mockery of everything Tagero was saying…
 
Spoiler :
That could actually inferfere with my plot- I'll have to spend time wearing down their humor value...

EDIT: Made some alterations.

With the Penguins
Von Dunkelheit waited slowly, as his transport docked into the invisible space station. This place wasn't known about to most of the galaxy- only the real powers of the multiverse had any idea it existed.

The door opened, to reveal his host. A young prodigy, with skill levels his academy mates could only dream of, a man of boundless ambitions...

"Von Dunkelhike, is it?"

The man sighed. "Yes. Yes, I am Von Dunkelhike."

It seemed the creature he was talking to was completly oblivious to the sarscasm. "It's good of you to come. We have some reports on Sector 7."
"Sector 7? Unlikely- we have a truce there. All interference can last for 100,000 years tops."
"These guys don't belong to any of the Powers. They don't follow our rules."
"Hmm. So what do you need me for?"
"If they get away with this, we can kiss peace in this sector goodbye. I think I can do it, but I need you to make absolutely sure..."
"Understood."

He thought for a second. If his hunch was right, this would be more difficult then he thought. "Yes- it's dealt with. I have a plan..."


It was meant to be Von Dunkelheit- the penguin got his facts wrong, and Von Dunkhelheit couldn't be bothered correcting him.

The Coalition Expedition:
“Could you stop hogging the window? Others wanna look too, you know.”
“Sorry” said Kira, looking behind him. It was some guy he didn’t know- one of the mercenaries, probably.

The person seemed annoyed. “Could you move, please?”
“Right.”

Kira walked away- he didn’t want any trouble. “Mercs” like him, as they were called, tended to be very stubborn, and if he hadn’t given way the man probably would have punched him.

Most of the people he knew in the room were as expected. Joso was sitting bored by a nearby window, Naman was playing chess with some random, Dosios was obsessively practicing his fencing, and Kakriak was telling what sounded like an amusing anecdote. Kira wasn’t in the mood, though.

Not being able to think of much to do, Kira decided to go up to the window Joso was looking through. Since he was trying not to be bored, it wasn’t the most logical thing to do, but people in general aren’t logical.
“Hi”
“Hi”
“You bored?”
“Yea.”

That wasn’t much of a surprise- Joso was always bored. They’d even tried drugging him, but for the past five decades he’d been bored anyway. It was some sort of medical condition, and somehow it was still there.

Tagero stood up on the stand. Kira didn’t know him, but knew his name- he was in charge of the whole thing. Much as he tried, he was always distant from those he commanded. It was his money behind the expedition, though.

“People! I have an announcement to make.”

Most, though not all of the room turned to attention. Dosios was an exception, but that was as expected.

“Men of the Coalition Expedition! We are about to reach Kothora, and by doing so will fulfill what we have set out to do! Divided we may seem, but in truth we stand united- and ready to fulfill our cause!”

People clapped, but only because they were supposed to. The cause was in no way united- in practice and in theory, the ship was divided into three separate groups.

The Society for Living Space argued that the galaxy was overcrowded and house prices were too high, so it wasn’t worth the price of having Nature Zones. The Society for Good Philosophy argued that the kind of sentient species likely to come out of Kothora would be a genuinely inferior race, but due to fears of racism would not be treated as such- or at least, that’s how the others understood it. They tended to have highly philosophy arguments Kira couldn’t keep track of.

Finally, there was the mercenaries- they were obviously in it for the money. Kakriak was the only decent one among them- the rest were brutal thugs as far as Kira was concerned. The tension between them and the others made a mockery of everything Tagero was saying…

The Penguin Multimedia Craft Glacier emerged out of glittering blue warp as it entered into Panzerus' Gravity well.



"We've arrived." mumbled Pikt from his control chair, pressing a variety of buttons for no particular reason whatsoever, as the system was automated. Steam hissed out from a few pipes, dramatically.

Gris, guerilla penguin extraordinaire, coughed raucously.

"Damnit, do you have to do that every time?"

"It looks cool."

"He's right, you know." noted Admiral Trik, straightening his elabourate hat.

Gris rolled his eyes and coughed a bit more.

"Coordinates set. We're on course to Delta Panzerus."

"Again?"

"You've never been here before, don't make me hit you with the retcon stick."

"Oh, right."

At this point, Tekk, resident computer expert and token cyborg, would have rolled his eyes, if it wasn't for the fact that the metal half of his face lacked the articulation. Instead, he just spoke in a vaguely irritated tone and made a mental note to drop someone out of the airlock later on.

"Your life stories can wait. Do any of you guys know why we're here?"

"Iggy didn't get hungry again, did he?"

"No, but we've got some other intruders on the system, and we can't tolerate that. We are here to engage...

"Is this a dramatic pause?"

"It used to be, you idiot."


Tekk edited his earlier mental note, replace 'someone' with 'Pikt'.

As I was, we are here to engage... the elder defenses.

"The elder defenses?" asked Pikt, eagerly. "Didn't we set them up last time we came here?"

"Retcon..." warned Gris, tapping a stick against his flipper.

"Oh give me a break, people aren't going to be searching through the forums to find out what continuity is and what isn't."

Tekk sighed. The airlock was too good for him.

"Elder, in this case, is a name and not an adjective. Anyway, I've actually just activated them remotely."

"That's it?"

"For the moment. Now, we wait for our 'guests' to arrive. Oh, and Pikt.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to need some help with something out by the rear airlocks."
 
Calm before the Storm:
"THE SCANNERS!" cried a voice.

"What!" cried Tagero, turning to face the hologrammatic projection. Everybody turned to see, and just about everybody was shocked.

A general tension suddenly entered the air. Slowly, it dawned upon people, one by one- battle was going to begin, and there was nothing they could do about it...

On a ship nearby, things were also very tense. “MURDERER!!!” cried a voice, turning to face the guilty cyborg. He rolled his eyes. “Oh please- you thought I’d forget to make plans?”

He drew a gun. “This is the only weapon inside this ship. You’re penguins- your flippers can do me no harm. Besides, I’ve rigged the system so I control the elder defenses with my mind. You are no match for me.”

The admiral and his crewman faced down the murderer. At this rate, there was no way out of this…

Von Dunkelheit looked at the window, amused at the situations unfolding. A woman’s screams rang in his ears, and were pleasing to them.

“Guards- put her down on the table. I’ll rape her soon enough.”

The woman screamed further, as her captor looked at the window. A murderer he was, and he knew it.

“We have a truce- but that doesn’t mean I can’t engage in a little sabotage. These unlucky crews will be my first kills in a very long time…”
 
@Lord_Iggy, I recognize that ship design. Very cool :D

Call me a noob, but who is this Von Dunkelheit? And why does he have to rape people? :confused:
 
In one of Das's earlier NESes, some player had his character declared himself (practically) the Antichrist- the character was Von Dunkelheit. The game ended in nuclear war as the French player (his character being De Gaulle) declared himself Christ and the two battled. Various silly references have been made to Von Dunkelheit, making it hard to make him a serious villian.

As for the rape, I was just trying to make him look really evil- I may overdone it a little. In-story, he was doing it for pleasure.
 
lurker's comment: You have singlehandedly destroyed any possibility of further reference to the (admittedly absurdly named) von Dunkelheit ever. Good job? :p
 
Wait, is the women a Pengiun?! What the hell.
 
As I said- I wanted to make Von Dunkelheit look evil. Who thinks I should just retcon the whole thing away and take a different approach?
 
Pffft - I have numerous references to rape in my FFh story :p. Don't worry about it.

See my sig for a read :D. (Calabim stories) leave a comment if you do :D.

[/advertise] :p
 
Spoiler :
Calm before the Storm:
"THE SCANNERS!" cried a voice.

"What!" cried Tagero, turning to face the hologrammatic projection. Everybody turned to see, and just about everybody was shocked.

A general tension suddenly entered the air. Slowly, it dawned upon people, one by one- battle was going to begin, and there was nothing they could do about it...

On a ship nearby, things were also very tense. “MURDERER!!!” cried a voice, turning to face the guilty cyborg. He rolled his eyes. “Oh please- you thought I’d forget to make plans?”

He drew a gun. “This is the only weapon inside this ship. You’re penguins- your flippers can do me no harm. Besides, I’ve rigged the system so I control the elder defenses with my mind. You are no match for me.”

The admiral and his crewman faced down the murderer. At this rate, there was no way out of this…

Von Dunkelheit looked at the window, amused at the situations unfolding. A woman’s screams rang in his ears, and were pleasing to them.

“Guards- put her down on the table. I’ll rape her soon enough.”

The woman screamed further, as her captor looked at the window. A murderer he was, and he knew it.

“We have a truce- but that doesn’t mean I can’t engage in a little sabotage. These unlucky crews will be my first kills in a very long time…”
Um, NWAG... sorry, but your stories are extremely difficult to follow. What is going on?

The way I see the situation:

A character named Von Dunkleheit who isn't Von Dunkleheit contacted the Penguinskan Imperium in an Invisible Space Station about the Coalition Expedition's intrusion at Panzerus.

He was not present in the Glacier during my story.

In your latest story, he is on that very ship, and threatens the penguins with a weapon after Tekk dumps Pikt out of the airlock.

And then there's a screaming woman... um...

Oh well. I can work with this.
 
Von Dunkelheit was looking from his ship, not the Glacier- he had set things up so Tekk would dump Pikt out the airlock, having contacted the Penguinskan Imperium to send a ship. He hasn't killed anybody in a long time, and so couldn't resist luring in a few more people.
 
Okay, but how did he aim a firearm at a penguin if he's not on their ship? And what's with the woman?
 
The person who drew the gun was Tekk, not Von Dunkelheit. As for the woman, this Von Dunkelheit just wanted pleasure and had captives avaliable (Genghis Khan did it).
 
Well, it's probably best if you don't write stories about what goes on between other people's characters. Firstly, why would Tekk say 'You're penguins, your flippers are useless against me?' He's a penguin too, although his robotic arm has fingers. Secondly, throwing someone into a hard vacuum isn't really that serious- certainly not serious enough to pull a gun over. Penguins, as you, of course, know, are vacuum-resistant.

Also, Gris, being a guerilla stereotype, would have a gun, and Tekk certainly wouldn't go against his fellow penguins (throwing Pikt into the vacuum excluded, of course ;)).
 
Oops- sorry. Didn't realise- maybe we should just retcon that whole story away...
 
O.K then. I'm not sure what should happen with the ship, but just to reduce the seeming appalingness around Von Dunkelheit...

EDIT: Corrected a spelling mistake.

A Great Line
As Von Dunkelheit smiled at the action about to begin, unknown to him a message was being relayed to him via commlink.

"Von Dunkelheit Junior, report in! I have heard you are making plans to violate our truce with the Penguinskan Imperium! If so, you are to stop this outrageous activity immediately! Come in, Von Dunkelheit Junior!"

Sitting at the comms, a young and recently demoted penguin prodigy viewed the transmissions as they arrived.

"Well- he told me to delete this sort of thing if it came... Ah well."

Pressing a button, the creature threw the message into the metaphorical trash bin...
 
The Unearthlyvalion ferociously made its way towards the insect nest. It preferred larger prey, but recently had had to satisfy itself with the bits and pieces of hives. More recently, a drought had resigned it to eating rocks. While they were relatively nutritious, they tasted awful.
The insects scattered. Another day, another failed hunt.
The unearthlyvalion grabbed a few slow ones and went back to the swamp. Sneaking, it noticed a Lupus Argentum feeding on a kill overhead. The Unearthlyvalion licked itself. This could be a two-for-one.
The Lupus went to the side to have a drink, oblivious to the rather suspicious log floating nearby. The log opened its mouth and chomped.
 
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