Random Rants LV: The Joy of Ranting

[madviking]

death to banderists

 

[gay_Aleks]

"students, in this entry test we'll only have C# functions and nothing else"
"lolwat I lied I'll copy the exit test from last year with all the non-C# stuff giving most points"

in summary.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Apparently there are some people who think "clothing-optional" means the same thing as "mandatory nudity".

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

It's very disorienting when you search for a song you used to listen to and it doesn't sound at all like you remembered it did. (I mean the tune and the lyrics are right and its the same artist, but the sound is just ????).

 

[gay_Aleks]

Yeah. Especially with new "remixed" or "remastered" albums. It's just not the same.

 

[JohannaK]

Last time I shave ever. I went to the restrooms and when I went to wash my hands I couldn't recognise myself.

 

[Borachio]

Had you shaved your hands? Is that why you didn't recognize them?

Or could it be that those weren't your hands you washed, eh?

 

[JohannaK]

There was a mirror and when I saw my face I didn't know it was my face.

 

[Borachio]

Then what makes you think it was you?

 

[JohannaK]

There was nobody else. I checked thrice.

 

[Borachio]

OK. That's fair.

I prefer toilets where I'm the sole occupant, too. Saves on a lot of confusion.

Still, if there are any other users, I can usually clear them out in a minute or two by bellowing out some "song" or other. Often the odd hymn will do it.

But practically anything will do, as I'm as poor a singer as I am a dancer.

Insane laughter has much the same effect.

 

[BenitoChavez]

Have you ever had a teleconference meeting with roughly 20 participants, only those participants are all in the same room and they are all talking amongst themselves, with like 3-4 conversations going on at once, and then randomly someone over the phone asks you a question and suddenly everyone goes silent waiting in anticipation for the answer to the question you didn't quite catch because everyone was blabbing their mouths off all at once?

Yeah that happened to me.

Also run on sentences.

 

[Arakhor]

Last time I shave ever. I went to the restrooms and when I went to wash my hands I couldn't recognise myself.

What horrible accident have you suffered that you can't remember maybe five years ago before you could grow facial hair?

 

[JohannaK]

None. What makes it all the more sinister is that a few months ago I shaved clean, but it wasn't like this. It's really odd.

 

[cybrxkhan]

Could be that your complexion change, or you gained/lost some weight, changing your appearance?

A few months ago, I shaved after not having done so for several months due to my health condition. Since I gained a lot of weight since then, after shaving I thought I looked kinda different, in a good way.

 

[gay_Aleks]

The effects of my attempts to jog after remaining relatively inert for the few last years do not translate well to my body.

 

[JohannaK]

No, I used to weight 70.2 kg (I usually check every couple days and it was always the same result) and now I'm at 69.7 kg (constant for a few weeks already). It's not really noticeable. Besides I don't go to the gym or do actual sport. I try to walk a lot, though I walk less than I'd like to.

 

[Arakhor]

A nutritionist told me specifically not to weigh myself every day, as people's weights naturally fluctuate, so you're just wasting your time (at best). Not that I usually ever weigh myself, but this was last Easter in hospital when I had nothing else better to do and the nurses were concerned about my stick-like figure.

(No, seriously, I've seen sticks with better muscle definition and washboards with less-defined ribs.)

 

[JohannaK]

I don't understand why I shouldn't check my weight. I don't even try to control it, just make sure I have pooeped and taken a shower just before I do tom make sure I do it in the same condition.

 

[Arakhor]

I didn't say you shouldn't. Just don't do it multiple times a week.