Random Thoughts 9: Attack of the Vapid Posts

[Cutlass]

Why start a cult when you can just have a megachurch? No book writing (or reading!) requisite.

Reclining pews with the 64oz cupholders. You know, because the faithful are thirsty and that communion wine isn’t gonna last ya three hours of a sermon.

Honey, where are we parked? Oh, we’re in the Book of Matthew lot. Is the gift shop still open? My glow in the dark Jesus phone charger needs a new battery. Oh, this escalator only goes to the food court.

Something seems wrong to me about any church that needs to put the pastor on the Jumbotron.

There's plenty of money in just being a plain old fashion televangelist.

Standard News


You Won’t Believe How Much the Richest Pastors in the World Are Worth
Business
| November 14, 2019 | By Robin Milling
21. Pat Robertson - Net Worth $100 Million

Source: Getty Images
Marion Gordon “Pat” Robertson served as a Southern Baptist minister in Virginia before becoming a media mogul and executive chairman. Pastor Robertson hosts The 700 Club, the flagship program of the Christian Broadcasting Network, which he launched in 1960. After his unsuccessful bid for President of the United States, Robertson founded the Christian Coalition, a Christian right organization that raises money for conservative political candidates. He is the founder, CEO, and chancellor of Regent University. He also established the American Center for Law & Justice, a major public interest law firm headquartered in Washington, D.C.

All you have to do is occasionally predict that God is about to destroy the world to punish the evil liberals.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

While reading a book from the 1950s, I did a double-take when a character started talking about having a boner.

Turns out it's old slang for a silly/boneheaded mistake.

 

[choxorn]

 

[Valka D'Ur]

I have freaking really bad gallstones. Had an attack the other night & ended up going to ER and they said my gallbladder is up to it's neck in stones. ****ing annoying. Whatever, I'm adjusting my diet & pretty much have to cut out the stress eating which is like 50% of my eating... Seeing a specialist Thursday, hopefully they don't have to remove parts of me.

On the plus side maybe this is part of why my stomach has hurt for 20 years (dunno how long these stones have been there building up cuz I only just got a cat scan just now, I had an endoscopy within the last year but that just checks your stomach and the upper part of the small intestine). It's annoying I had to find out when it may be too late to save my gallbladder. Of course if I wasn't able to make it to a hospital (lived somewhere without access to medical care) I'd be really f-ed so I try to count my blessings.

I realize this was a few weeks ago (I've been gone awhile and am catching up), and I'm curious if you had good news from your doctor's appointment.

I remember how I felt before and after gall bladder surgery (I don't have one anymore, thank goodness). The hardest part about the surgery was recovering at home. My then-current cat, Gussy, didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to sleep with me (on me), and I screamed when he jumped on me.

After it was over, being pain-free was wonderful.

How I imagine every episode of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman:

quinn: hello i am doctor
bumpkin: no. doctor is boy
quinn: girl can be doctor too
bumpkin: no! only boy

A few moments later...

bumpkin: oof i am sick
quinn: here is help
bumpkin: oh thank you! i guess girl can be doctor too

The last part of that should be this way:

bumpkin: oof i am sick
quinn: you said girl can't be doctor, so bye!
bumpkin: wait, i change my mind

My grandmother used to watch this show. I tried it out because the male lead used to play Jake Harrison on One Life to Live (the soap I watched back then)


Regarding the part of the conversation about cults... I recently found an old SF paperback by L. Ron Hubbard when he was still trying (and failing) to be a successful SF author.

Normally I believe in recycling, but that book promptly went in the garbage. Back when I bought it, I hadn't known about Scientology.

 

[Snerk]

I almost bought an apartment but I chickened out because I'm a smoll boi.

 

[Takhisis]

Somebody's trolling the Españish wikipedia. The entry for sandwich says that a sandwich is a type of hamburger.
It is brilliant absurdist humour, but I wonder whether I am committing a sin against sandwiches for thinking it funny.

 

[Kyriakos]

I need to finish the new lit seminar. The coronavirus lock really left everything in a horrible state...

Everything done for money - laziness should be more easy to combat with the thought of not having enough money in the future.

 

[Takhisis]

Everything done for money

You need therapy for Europhilia.

 

[Takhisis]

Beavis and Butt-head is supposed to return to the screen, with Mike Judge at the helm. I hope they get it right, but after so many botched revivals I'm a bit jaded.

 

[amadeus]

All of the following are kind of connected as I have a moment:

Top hats: when are they coming back in style? Also, Rich Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly game does NOT have a monocle. Some people seem to think he does, but I never thought he did. Speaking of cartoon mascots...

Cereal commercials: when I was a kid you turned on the TV Saturday morning and you’d see Toucan Sam, those Rice Krispies (is that how they’re spelled?) guys, etc., etc. I never cared for Tony the Tiger. What’s with that bandana? Even for a cartoon cereal mascot, it makes no sense. And with cereal...

Spelling: Rice Krispies. Some of these things I’ll let slide, but do we have to spell stuff weird for brand names? Crisp starts with a “C.” What’s a krispy? I assume that’s the singular form. Wikipedia actually has an entry on this concept.

I am not a crackpot.

 

[Zardnaar]

All of the following are kind of connected as I have a moment:

Top hats: when are they coming back in style? Also, Rich Uncle Pennybags from the Monopoly game does NOT have a monocle. Some people seem to think he does, but I never thought he did. Speaking of cartoon mascots...

Cereal commercials: when I was a kid you turned on the TV Saturday morning and you’d see Toucan Sam, those Rice Krispies (is that how they’re spelled?) guys, etc., etc. I never cared for Tony the Tiger. What’s with that bandana? Even for a cartoon cereal mascot, it makes no sense. And with cereal...

Spelling: Rice Krispies. Some of these things I’ll let slide, but do we have to spell stuff weird for brand names? Crisp starts with a “C.” What’s a krispy? I assume that’s the singular form. Wikipedia actually has an entry on this concept.

I am not a crackpot.

They're called rice bubbles here or ricies.

 

[GenMarshall]

You just won 9001 internet points!

 

[amadeus]

They're called rice bubbles here or ricies.

That’s even worse!

 

[Zardnaar]

That’s even worse!

Possibly yes.

My breakfast

Spoiler Brekkie :

 

[Valka D'Ur]

That looks disgusting.

 

[Zardnaar]

That looks disgusting.

Oatmeal and peaches.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Oatmeal and peaches.

It still looks disgusting. I can understand eating one or the other, but both at once?

 

[Zardnaar]

It still looks disgusting. I can understand eating one or the other, but both at once?

You don't put fruit on cereal?

Or is it more American style just add more suger, cheese and/or deep fry it.

 

[amadeus]

I thought those were mangoes.

 

[Zardnaar]

I thought those were mangoes.

I can see that. They're tinned fruit. Winter the fresh stuff is pricey.

Do you get Mango and peach flavoured yoghurt overseas? Yoghurt runs out Friday, Sunday is shopping day.