Random Thoughts XII - Floccinaucinihilipilification

[Synobun]

A few days ago, I met my Boss, who is also my best friend, and told him that outside of a backyard one on one fighting at school, I really never throw hands, because outside mostly it will never end up fairly. I told him once when I walk with my ex to a mall, a group of 5-6 guys cat-calling my girl, I can't do anything but pull her to walk faster, and they were laughing at me. At that time I feel like they spit on my face.

My Boss told me when he used to went to a club that also happened to him, 3-4 people sitting (squatting) outside of the club, and he and his ex were about to enter and she used rather revealing clothes, and those guys start to cat-called her. When he entered the club he was just unable to accept what happened and had intrusive thoughts all the time. So he went out, go to those people who were cat-calling her, kick one of them, and went back not telling her what happened he just did it for himself. No one stand or said anything to him. And I think the jerk deserves the kick, that kick saves a lot of future incidents.

Some people seem to have almost no fear, he enters a situation where he got beat up several times by a group of people, and he just keeps taking the risk whenever he thinks it is necessary. A brute, but I really admire the courage though. Perhaps the psychological pain of being helpless and emotionally oppressed is much more painful than the beat-up itself.

You admire the courage of physically attacking someone because they said rude things?

 

[H4run]

You admire the courage of physically attacking someone because they said rude things?

In my book that's harassment, I know perhaps it is not cool to reply to verbal harassment with physical assault, but I feel cat-callers are just abusive and oppressive.

 

[Synobun]

In my book that's harassment, I know perhaps it is not cool to reply to verbal harassment with physical assault, but I feel cat-callers are just abusive and oppressive.

Ooga booga, brah.

 

[H4run]

Ooga booga, brah.

Remember, I love it when Smith did the slap

 

[Takhisis]

Remember, I love it when Smith did the slap

Uhm, but you're not rich or famous.

 

[H4run]

Uhm, but you're not rich or famous.

Naaaaah in cfc I am rich and famous, and only here and here alone I admire the slap, you got the twist?

 

[Valka D'Ur]

You admire the courage of physically attacking someone because they said rude things?

Are women and/or their spouses/friends/SOs supposed to just accept being harassed?

 

[H4run]

Actually, I give Syn question another thought,

Why am I proud of what my Boss did?

I gave it a thought when I was riding a motorcycle to the office, I come to the conclusion that is because I want to do what he did but I was scared, so I admire his courage to pull out things that I cannot do myself and keep thinking for years.

Is it wrong what he did? Perhaps, but it's hard to make even cat-callers, like should in return I cat-call them back? Is it a fair punishment? Like made them wear bicycle pants or whatever then cat-call them, calling them "cheapo" and whistling at them in front of their parents or friends, humiliate them verbally? That's impossible to pull, but let's say for argument's sake that I can make such an event possible, I don't know if it's effective! Maybe instead of getting humiliated, they will find it funny instead.

However, ladies and gentlemen, a kick in the head is quite a nice punishment! Not a fair one but nice for jerks like cat-callers.

 

[H4run]

I kind of miss talking to @Farm Boy , we got a little bit situation here my friend, care to share your thought about this? What is your opinion regarding this?

 

[Farm Boy]

Wouldn't be my style. But I understand. Would probably watch the YouTube video.

 

[H4run]

Wouldn't be my style. But I understand. Would probably watch the YouTube video.

Me too, I would not take that risk, I should be mindful about who I am with at that time, confronting them most probably would result in a physical altercation that will endanger me and whoever I am with at that time. Because here is what actually happened when a group of people cat-called someone:

"I disrespect your gf, your sister, your wife in front of you and make her feel that she deserves to get verbally handled by a stronger group of men because we can do it, we have the quantity here! and you can't do anything about it unless you want some from us"

That's what it means to me, and with that, the physical threat is always there, as a bluff or as a real threat, it's not stated but it's looming in the air. Hence in the back of my mind physical repercussion is almost justified. Because if you go and talk to them, their default problem solving will be a physical threat, "so what you gonna do about it?", unless you hit first and you are lucky that everyone waiting for someone to react which can get you away without a push back and that what happened to my Boss I think.

Man can be such a gentleman when they are by themselves but set them with 3 or 4 of their friends, they can turn oppressive and mindless to others.

 

[Synobun]

Are women and/or their spouses/friends/SOs supposed to just accept being harassed?

There is nothing you or anyone you know can do about groups of troglodytes hooting and hollering on the street. Harun's associate was lucky he wasn't killed and was able to walk away afterward. These men have been socialized from a young age to be disrespectful and dangerous, and any act you take in direct response only increases the danger to you and those you're with. This isn't a suggestion to just be meek and let it happen, but instead an observation that the situation is designed to make you powerless. There is a question of escalation where, if you respond, you have to become more dangerous than the original threat, which will only encourage other groups of these people to become more aggressive in turn. You start playing chicken with these people and the method of play is violence.

Put differently, Harun's associate didn't actually change anything. He made himself feel better in the moment, but nothing would have happened if he'd just ignored it. The only possible result of what he did is that the next group those men harass will be in more danger because they might predict a violent response from their partner and adjust accordingly. This isn't like a schoolyard where you fight back once and the bully becomes a stand-up guy. If that particular group had decided to force the issue after Harun's associate came out, his partner would have likely been calling an ambulance and hoping she didn't just watch her partner die in a street fight because he couldn't control himself after someone said something objectionable.

There is a romance to the idea of crushing cat-callers, but it simply does not play out that way in real life. The pay-off is minuscule compared to the risk. A kick in the head is a nice punishment, until you decide to punish someone who will kill you for the fun of it. There is a good reason why self-defense experts tell you to run if you are challenged by a group, and it's not because they love cardio. Actively going out of your way to start a physical confrontation with a group of people is a bad idea. Sometimes a bad idea is necessary (e.g., if they are following you and you know you can't get away), but in a situation where the only thing you have to do is stay silent and walk away... I don't see the gain beyond a five-second surge of vindication when you feel like you've just enacted Hammurabi's justice and you're lucky enough the other people decide to let it go.

 

[H4run]

There is nothing you or anyone you know can do about groups of troglodytes hooting and hollering on the street. Haroon's associate was lucky he wasn't killed and was able to walk away afterward. These men have been socialized from a young age to be disrespectful and dangerous, and any act you take in direct response only increases the danger to you and those you're with. This isn't a suggestion to just be meek and let it happen, but instead an observation that the situation is designed to make you powerless. There is a question of escalation where, if you respond, you have to become more dangerous than the original threat, which will only encourage other groups of these people to become more aggressive in turn. You start playing chicken with these people and the method of play is violence.

Put differently, Harun's associate didn't actually change anything. He made himself feel better in the moment, but nothing would have happened if he'd just ignored it. The only possible result of what he did is that the next group those men harass will be in more danger because they might predict a violent response from their partner and adjust accordingly. This isn't like a schoolyard where you fight back once and the bully becomes a stand-up guy. If that particular group had decided to force the issue after Harun's associate came out, his partner would have likely been calling an ambulance and hoping she didn't just watch her partner die in a street fight because he couldn't control himself after someone said something objectionable.

There is a romance to the idea of crushing cat-callers, but it simply does not play out that way in real life. The pay-off is minuscule compared to the risk. A kick in the head is a nice punishment, until you decide to punish someone who will kill you for the fun of it. There is a good reason why self-defense experts tell you to run if you are challenged by a group, and it's not because they love cardio. Actively going out of your way to start a physical confrontation with a group of people is a bad idea. Sometimes a bad idea is necessary (e.g., if they are following you and you know you can't get away), but in a situation where the only thing you have to do is stay silent and walk away... I don't see the gain beyond a five-second surge of vindication when you feel like you've just enacted Hammurabi's justice and you're lucky enough the other people decide to let it go.

He was lucky I agreed with that, he kicked the right guy, and the others paused waiting for others to react while he disengaged and leave them like a fool, who they are. The only logical thing that one can do when a group of people ends up physically harassing you, which happened once when my sister got pulled by a group of ticket brokers (they are one-third broker, two-third bastard) when she was with me at the bus station, is to get loud and avoid yourself being isolated. A fight back is nice and romantic, but yea, most probably they will lynch you.

One thing that made me not able to forget that incident, it is because my ex was laughing at me when I told what happened to my friend, she told me that I am scared and try looking for support, I was really angry at her and questioned myself at the same time "am I a coward?" "Should I protect her at that time?"

 

[The_J]

Na, your reaction is exactly right.

 

[choxorn]

There is nothing you or anyone you know can do about groups of troglodytes hooting and hollering on the street. Harun's associate was lucky he wasn't killed and was able to walk away afterward. These men have been socialized from a young age to be disrespectful and dangerous, and any act you take in direct response only increases the danger to you and those you're with. This isn't a suggestion to just be meek and let it happen, but instead an observation that the situation is designed to make you powerless. There is a question of escalation where, if you respond, you have to become more dangerous than the original threat, which will only encourage other groups of these people to become more aggressive in turn. You start playing chicken with these people and the method of play is violence.

Put differently, Harun's associate didn't actually change anything. He made himself feel better in the moment, but nothing would have happened if he'd just ignored it. The only possible result of what he did is that the next group those men harass will be in more danger because they might predict a violent response from their partner and adjust accordingly. This isn't like a schoolyard where you fight back once and the bully becomes a stand-up guy. If that particular group had decided to force the issue after Harun's associate came out, his partner would have likely been calling an ambulance and hoping she didn't just watch her partner die in a street fight because he couldn't control himself after someone said something objectionable.

There is a romance to the idea of crushing cat-callers, but it simply does not play out that way in real life. The pay-off is minuscule compared to the risk. A kick in the head is a nice punishment, until you decide to punish someone who will kill you for the fun of it. There is a good reason why self-defense experts tell you to run if you are challenged by a group, and it's not because they love cardio. Actively going out of your way to start a physical confrontation with a group of people is a bad idea. Sometimes a bad idea is necessary (e.g., if they are following you and you know you can't get away), but in a situation where the only thing you have to do is stay silent and walk away... I don't see the gain beyond a five-second surge of vindication when you feel like you've just enacted Hammurabi's justice and you're lucky enough the other people decide to let it go.

^This

 

[Valka D'Ur]

There is nothing you or anyone you know can do about groups of troglodytes hooting and hollering on the street. Harun's associate was lucky he wasn't killed and was able to walk away afterward. These men have been socialized from a young age to be disrespectful and dangerous, and any act you take in direct response only increases the danger to you and those you're with. This isn't a suggestion to just be meek and let it happen, but instead an observation that the situation is designed to make you powerless. There is a question of escalation where, if you respond, you have to become more dangerous than the original threat, which will only encourage other groups of these people to become more aggressive in turn. You start playing chicken with these people and the method of play is violence.

Put differently, Harun's associate didn't actually change anything. He made himself feel better in the moment, but nothing would have happened if he'd just ignored it. The only possible result of what he did is that the next group those men harass will be in more danger because they might predict a violent response from their partner and adjust accordingly. This isn't like a schoolyard where you fight back once and the bully becomes a stand-up guy. If that particular group had decided to force the issue after Harun's associate came out, his partner would have likely been calling an ambulance and hoping she didn't just watch her partner die in a street fight because he couldn't control himself after someone said something objectionable.

There is a romance to the idea of crushing cat-callers, but it simply does not play out that way in real life. The pay-off is minuscule compared to the risk. A kick in the head is a nice punishment, until you decide to punish someone who will kill you for the fun of it. There is a good reason why self-defense experts tell you to run if you are challenged by a group, and it's not because they love cardio. Actively going out of your way to start a physical confrontation with a group of people is a bad idea. Sometimes a bad idea is necessary (e.g., if they are following you and you know you can't get away), but in a situation where the only thing you have to do is stay silent and walk away... I don't see the gain beyond a five-second surge of vindication when you feel like you've just enacted Hammurabi's justice and you're lucky enough the other people decide to let it go.

Y'know I am somewhat familiar with the issue of bullying and what, if anything, can be done about it. All too often nothing can be done, and that's the case in person or online. After all, we both belonged to a forum where the owner referred to female members as "my wimminz" and couldn't understand why I'd object to being classified as something he owns. That wasn't that many years ago, and he still holds a grudge. In fact there was a thread there about cat-calling and I don't think more than one guy in that entire discussion had even the beginning of a clue as to why cat-calling is wrong even if they substitute the metaphor of "cheeseburger" in place of making it explicitly sexual.

 

[Takhisis]

After all, we both belonged to a forum where the owner referred to female members as "my wimminz" and couldn't understand why I'd object to being classified as something he owns. That wasn't that many years ago, and he still holds a grudge.

Just go to another forum, I'd say.

 

[Farm Boy]

Do I own my friends?

 

[Takhisis]

If you git gud, yes.

Or are you talking about something that's not vidjagames?

 

[Farm Boy]

Oh. Totes mine. Wear their *** for a hat.