It was twenty turns ago today
Sgt Pillar taught the band to meme
They’d been rolling 1s and 20s, natural
Give ‘em your secrets, they’re confidential
So may I introduce to you
The memes you’ve trusted for all these turns
Sgt Pillar’s Lonely Meme Club Band

[EXTERNAL SCREAMING BREAK]


We’re Sgt Pillar’s Lonely Meme Club Band
Entrust us with your secrets, please
We’re Sgt Pillar’s Lonely Meme Club Band
Sit back and let your secrets go
Sgt Pillar’s Lonely, Sgt Pillar’s Lonely
We’re Sgt Pillar’s Lonely Meme Club Band
It’s wonderful to know them, your secrets are a thrill
You’ve got such lovely secrets, we’d like for you to tell us them
We really want to know

I don’t really want to stop the memes
But I thought you might like to know
That’s the singer’s gonna singg a songg
And he wants you all to singg alongg
So may I introduce to you
The one and only Meme Man
Sgt Pillar’s Lonely Meme Club Band
 
That was one devil of a "Be Prepared"roll. :p

#JustReusThings
 
Action: Defend my territory, counterattack if possible.
 
the sultan will diplomatically unite all the disparate Turkish states under one nation.
3 (2): First we must define what we mean by 'Turkish', since by the most pedantic and liberal view, you'd be trying to annex land stretching from the Bosporus to Mongolia, and you definitely don't have the resources for that. The move also leads to fears of imperial ambition and Greece and Bulgaria begin rearmament in response, while Islamic Jihal'QaISIS exploits it for a fresh recruitment campaign. -2 diplomacy with Greece and Bulgaria; +5% support for Nationalists.

*dons sunglasses*
Stage an anti-USA coup in Denver.
It's go time.
19 (19): As Gary Oldman George Smiley said: "And that's how I know he can be beaten. Because he's a fanatic. And the fanatic is always concealing a secret doubt." Rigorous though the Thought Police were, they could never hope to stamp out all dissent (since thought control requires science and no-one in Cabinet believes in that claptrap). Exploiting the government's recent PR fumble, you banded together the opposition into a united militia to water the tree with the blood of patriots and tyrants, emphasis on the latter. (Denver, Albuquerque, Cannon AFB, Hill AFB, USA 3rd Fighter Squadron, 4th Ground Attack Squadron, 8th Air Defense Battalion, 4th Cavalry Company, and 6th Infantry Battalion defect to SPLMCB; USA loses $2016 wealth taxable.)

NATIONAL OUTLOOK

Liberty or Death: If there's anything Washington has made clear, it's that anyone opposing its twisted politics is less than human. Either you win this fight, or you won't live to fight again. +3 spy defence, +4 ideological defence and -5 mutual diplomacy with United States; all units gain +2 defence, +2 morale, +3 combat v. United States.
War Economy: When your very survival is on the line, command economics is not only palatable, it's downright critical. +2 recruitment, +3 military production, -4 civilian economy, -2 foreign trade; +5 to amending this policy after the war.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ

JamesCaesar
Revolutionary Leader
100% approval
+2 to music
+2 morale to nearby units

Malcolm Granger
Air Force General
Rank: General (max. command: Major Command)
+3 combat, +1 mobility, +1 supply to attached units

1. Pay $25 ($3.50 for the past 2 turns, this turn and the 3 next turns, plus an additional $4 as a goodwill gift) to Double A for lake usage rights so we may move up the Nile unhindered in the future.
2. Expand the bureaucracy so we have one more additional action.
15: You clear your slate, with interest.

18: Loosening the state's belt, you yield your fat assembly more breathing space. +1 Action and +1 statecraft; Libertarian faction gains +10% support from retaliatory protests.

BY THE POWER OF SABER
I HAVE THE POWER
TO GIVE ALL PCS IN THE GAME
AS MANY EXTRA ACTIONS AS SHE WISHES
FOREVER AND EVER
AMEN
16: In the interest of levelling the playing field against the Furry heresy, Altria Pendragon, First of Her Name, King of the Bretons, dispenses Her Grace thusly:
  • The United States of America receives 1 Action to keep it competitive;
  • The Cult of Minimalism receives 1 Action since it's so tiny it's cute;
  • Australian Capital Territory receives 3 Actions in reward for its fealty (and since it's a city-state actually behaving like a city-state);
  • CivCube's Congo receives 1 Action in an effort to sway its host player back;
  • Great Britain receives 2 Actions since it is the Once and Future Kingdom;
  • Feminist Namibia receives 1 Action since, while led by an Unbeliever, it is the vanguard against international misogyny;
  • The European Federation receives 1 Action for the same reason as Congo;
  • Double A receives no actions since he is a mythical beast without a country;
  • The Empire of Ài receives 3 Actions because frankly, my dear, you're gonna need 'em;
  • Hoxha's Bunker Emporium receives no actions since it is an NPC state and this isn't Tanipolarity;
  • The Volksreich receives 1 Action to counteract its starting penalty;
  • The Empire of Majterre receives no actions, since it is a hive of sorcery and Frankishness;
  • The Faxumite Empire receives no actions since it's the whole reason this is necessary;
  • California receives 1 Action because its dank RP is second-to-none;
  • The Kiwi Empire receives no actions since its technology clearly makes up for it;
  • The Khmer Thalassocracy receives no actions as it is a race of beastmen sworn to the False Prophet Managan;
  • Istanbul receives no actions as it is heathen and Saracen;
  • Rationalia receives no actions, given it does not believe in the Divinity of Altria in the first place;
  • Custerfield receives no actions since Actions induce Conflict and it has stated its neutrality;
  • Norrland-Sápmi receives 1 Action for similar reasons as Ài Lmao;
  • Sgt Pillar's Band receives no actions; it's already got McCartney so what more could it need? :^)

Implement the Norrland-Sápmi Cyrillic Alphabet for Swedish, Finnish and Western Sami languages as a step towards a new independent education system with emphasis on socialist teachings to boost our industrial economy and wash away the stains of southern imperialism from our culture.
6: 'A' for effort, but overhauling the lexicon overnight in a foreign alphabet proved too much, too soon. -$16,000 in administrative overhead, and -1 to cultural, educational and scientific actions for the next eight turns as the country scrambles to match the new standard.

Offer the SPD the following if they disband and return to their homes.
- No prosecution by the British Government.
- British subsidies to relocate overseas, if SPD members so desire.
- An official commitment to peace and cooperation in Europe by the British Government.
- A free pig for every member of the SPD.
14: Swayed by your commitment to continental peace and prosperity, elements of the SPD standing army agree to demobilize, although no-one is currently talking official reintegration yet. SPD 2nd Mechanized Infantry, 3rd Infantry and 5th Infantry regiments' strength reduced 10%; +1 peaceful diplomacy with, -1 casus belli against the European Federation; Prime Minister e350tb gains +2% approval; +5% support for British Labour in the European Federation.

Have the Empress Esther Solomon use her dark magic to summon forth a department's worth of impish familiars to aid our administration so our realm may be more manageable to govern via their demonic efficiency.
12 (15): Side-stepping the royal court through a semi-autonomous bureaucracy frees up time previously spent on daily minutiae for focus on the big projects, although Council members wonder if this new civil service has an agenda of its own. +1 statecraft to the Empress; new Civil Service political faction (5% support).

make custerfield's defenses stronger.
3: And then the other shoe drops as an investigation into no-compete contracts with several private arms companies sparks a national scandal when they are exposed as collusive profiteers. The equipment looked good on the test range, but proves ridiculously fragile in the field—you paid how much for this con?! -$3 million in state funds; military units suffer -3 combat for 10 turns as National Defence scrambles to find more reliable suppliers.

CONVERTING THE MILITARY IS NOT ENOUGH! WE MUST GO CONVERT THE POPULACE! NON-VIOLENTLY OF COURSE, WOULDN'T WANT TO CAUSE A WAR.
11 (9): Entering Dalandzadgad, you deliver a sermon at hoplitejoe's memorial, explaining that the martyr might be alive today if not for excessive rules and action modifiers. Your oration attracts a small crowd of curious onlookers, but otherwise fails to inspire.

The Autarch has placed forward plans on creating an electrified railroad system between Wellington and Auckland in the northern islands and another electrified railroad system between Christchurch and Dunedin.
12 (14): Earmarking $800,000 for the project, you hire several construction crews for the ambitious goal of upgrading the national rail network and expanding commuter service to the south of South Island. Estimated completion time: 8 turns.

commission the construction of a really large battleship as part of a naval build up.
15 (17): Not to be outdone by the Volksreich, you approve the construction of the creatively-titled Bismarck II-class, a modernized battleship with enough firepower to destroy a planet the Royal Navy a host of top-of-the-line features such as guided missiles and electronic command-control systems. Your $8 million investment should pay off in 16 turns.

The coupers will be aided with the espionage of our great Californian Republic.
18 (17): WE FIGHT A LIFE-OR-DEATH STRUGGLE AGAINST THE POWERS OF ANARCHO-CAPITALISM. ONLY COMPLETE TRUST IN PILLARS CAN PROTECT YOU. ONLY TOTAL DISCLOSURE WILL SAVE THE LIVES OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. EMPTY YOUR MIND, AND SUBMIT TO OUR MEMES. THE LESS YOU DEREGULATE, THE BETTER OFF YOU WILL BE. WE ARE PILLARS. ENTRUST US.

(Detroit and Charlotte erupt in Civil Disorder: -2 stability, -2 statecraft, -5% wealth taxable in each city until the riots are quelled; all regular USA forces not already engaged lose 1 loyalty, and are immobilized for 4 turns from confusion over which front takes precedence.)

Create a rocket and attempt to land on the surface of the Moon.
11: Aerospace engineers think they've figured out a propulsion system that will work at this latitude, and construction begins on a $20 million launch facility at Gdańsk. Will Poland finally into space?

Lucina Megan amiibos are patriotic! My action is to produce them to fund the war and help the morale of my soldiers!
3 (6): A noble effort, using the KKKapitali$ts' own tools against them, but one that detracts from the war industry and fails to recoup production costs in its first distribution cycle. -$25,000 in state funds, and -1 military production for the next five turns. (All players may purchase their own Omegamiibo for $12.99 as a free action—Tolni's is already shipped.) Meanwhile, the Hick Brigade continues its attack.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19 (19): You wail on those Redcaps like a hyena matriarch that saw The Lion King for the first time, dealing 10% damage and sending them into a rout. (1st Redcap Battalion suffers -2 defence and cannot attack for 4 turns.)

With the help of Persian Grand Electrician Mehdi Sadaghdar, subjugate (claim) Persia/Iran.
11: You lay claim to the remainder of Ilam and Khuzestan. With no counter-movement from Tehran, you presume this makes them yours to keep.

Defend my territory, counterattack if possible.
*roll*
You focus on holding your ground.
6: Beset by enemies without and within, the army is starting to question whether the Commander-in-Chief is suited to actually command it. All regular forces suffer -1 morale.

pYZen9Z.png

News on the March

Fear and Loathing in Colorado



The American conflagration is beginning to attract international interest, with a Californian-sponsored uprising in Denver further complicating Washington's already precarious position. Despite continuing deterioration of US military command and outright defections by its personnel, including four-star air force general Malcolm Granger, to the Colorado rebels, Redcap partisans assaulted turncoat positions. The garrison at Hill AFB scrambled in time to repel the attackers before they overran the base; while comrades in the south have drawn first blood against rebel forces in Albuquerque, they are badly outnumbered and outgunned and unlikely to be reinforced soon.

Meanwhile in the east, the Namibian offensive continues to stall; with the main assault still stonewalling against the Washington garrison, the army is digging in, preparing for the inevitable Trumpnik counterattack. The battle for Toronto continues, with American armor trying to force the insurgents back to New York as skirmishes against the city's remaining defenders have thus far proven inconclusive. The Bluecapes have managed some success, however: Omega has routed the 1st Redcap Battalion, opening the capital's flank, while continued pressure against the guerrillas near Columbus will likely lead to a retreat soon.

With the conflict expected to intensify, refugees have begun fleeing from Detroit and the embattled capital before combat moves into the cities and escape is completely cut off. While this is IOT, we would like to remind world leaders to refrain from wanton murder of civilians.

Bulgar Display of Imperialism
Tensions are high in the Mediterranean after statements from Istanbul provoked remobilization in the Balkans and the resurgence of Islamist terrorism. Needless to say, the Sultan's expansion plans will need heavy revision:

Bulgaria—Its small-but-well-trained army insists it has no designs on Istanbul, but politely reminds the Sultan that any jokes about "Balkan genocide" are no match for its tactical SCUD launchers.
Greece—Likewise affirming its commitment to non-aggression against Anatolia, it nonetheless maintains the national guard bases on the frontier islands. While Athens has taken no definitive policy on Crete's quasi-autonomy thus far, it regards Majterre's aegis as an unlawful incursion against Greek sovereignty.
Islamic Jihal'QaISIS—A confederation of multiple extremist factions, its goal is to subjugate the Muslim world under a rigid Wahhabist interpretation of the faith. Has not officially declared war on anyone yet, but that's because its foreign affairs department is about as backward as its ideology.

Beijing Forces Enter Qingdao
In the first border test since the splinter, members of Shen Yun entered Qingdao as part of a regular patrol. While no altercation occurred, the move is seen as a direct challenge to Empress Ren's authority in the city—not that they seemed to know it was hers in the first place.

Congolese Rebels on the Move
Reports of multiple incursions into government territory have prompted calls for action by President CivCube. While no violence has occurred, the public fears that if left unchallenged, the rebel factions will stake more assertive claims against the government in future. Mbuji-Mayi has yet to release a public statement.

Bunker Bans Contraceptives
Reports smuggled out of Antarctica reveal that Enver Hoxha has declared a total ban on contraceptive tools and practices. While the notoriously tight-lipped administration has not released an official statement, observers speculate the move is part of a strategy to supplement the manpower lost in last turn's rocket accident and prevent the total collapse of the Most Marxist–Leninist Place on Earth!™. When asked whether a state-sponsored breeding programme was in conflict with Lysenkoist doctrine, the Great Helmsman replied "That's doubleplusungood," before having the revisionist spy arrested and executed detained for questioning.


Notes from the GM

I thought I should clarify how extra actions work before it becomes an actual issue. By default, most additional actions obtained apply to your administrative capacity, i.e. conducting diplomacy, enacting policy, and the like—basically, how much you can juggle on your presidential desk. This does not increase how much physical action your avatar does, i.e. attack multiple times per turn, hack that computer terminal while also making a milkshake, &c. You can (try to) level up personal actions as well (and even those of your companions); these will always be tracked as a character stat, though like the above, usually won't serve double-duty unless explicitly indicated. Basically, whereas your One Guaranteed Action can be used for anything, everything after that splits into either/or. The front page has been updated accordingly.

I'll have a couple busy spots this week and next, though depending on how this turn plays out I might manage an early update betwixt. To that end, corollary to the timeliness (or lack thereof) of orders this last round, I'm bumping the start date a bit: next update begins Thursday next, possibly even Wednesday if I think I can air it before the Second Delay.
 
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Sultans personal journal:

...crap. i may have erred a bit. Bulgaria and Greece has risen up in a, frankly, brilliant display of genre-savvyness. have they read TV tropes? in any case, maybe we should not focus on expansion. ever again.

Sultans Address to the nations of Greece and Bulgaria:

i know this may not be helpful *at all*, but, for the record, we only ever desired the lands in Anatolia. we had no interest in the Balkans, and we DEFINITELY have no interest in genocide. maybe we should go for peace? the City state of Istanbul has no real interest in war. well, except for the ISIS.

To Bulgaria: there appears to be a bit of land unclaimed by either of us. what should be done there?

Sultans Address to Rationalia:

We seem to have caused the ISIS to rise up. again. this is our mistake, and we will clean up our mess, and own up to it. sorry about that.
 
the Sultan hereby takes this one action, as recommended by the Ambassador from KET:

action: pray to ISIS, the Egyptian Goddess, to smite the ones abusing her name. (meaning, smite the ISIS rebel group.) Military targets only.
 
617469-bigthumbnail.jpg


PRAISE SABER! PRAISE SABER! PRAISE SABER!

Actions:

1) Get the psychic dolphins at the National Zoo and Aquarium to commune with DoubleA psychically to come fill out his damn citizenship papers. They're all sea creatures so that should work, right?
2) Begin the construction of the International Broadband Network, a glorious super fiber optic network that will provide super fast internet to the whole world and also rebuild all the lost internet infrastructure (especially CFC because I want my IOT memes Saber confound it).
3) Recruit Iskander from Fate/Zero to become Muster-Master General of the ACT. He will be responsible for inspiring lots of people to join the military of the ACT through his enthusiasm and coolness.
4) Oversee the construction of an All Terrain Armoured Transport (AT-AT) factory because :culture: anything that New Zealand can do we can do better... :culture:

I would buy an Omegamiibo, but that sounds dangerously close to Lucinaist heathenism so I kindly decline and keep doing my business.
 
Action 1. Wage a public relations campaign in the interest of winning over the Libertarian base, if not their leadership. Emphasize that the Emperor remains committed to minimal government, but the needs of foreign and defense policy in an increasingly-dangerous world mean steps must be taken. The only thing worse than a slightly expanded Faxumite state is a much larger enemy state rolling over it. Cite the success of the Majterre treaty as evidence of the Emperor’s commitment to peace and how future alliances, friendships and non-aggression pacts can help keep the state’s need for defense spending down. Ultimately, the world is not a vacuum, and the minarchist paradise Faxum has created will not withstand external pressure without some unfortunate changes. The Emperor is committed to keeping government from becoming too intrusive (after all, no one can appreciate a right to privacy in one's activities as much as him), but the same cannot necessarily be said of would-be conquerors.

Action 2. Invest $100 in the arms industry to help resolve the shortage of supplies to our brothers in the Sudan. With the increasing dangers of the world around us, we must have a unified, strong defense or we will fall one by one. The purchase of armaments, and subsidies to arms manufacturers to help get production to more respectable levels, will be part of this defense.

UdGRa6u.png


Action 3. Meet with Egyptian leaders of the region in black and attempt a diplomatic annexation. Becoming a state (or several states) within Faxum will provide Egypt with enormous economic, diplomatic, and military benefits. The Faxum-Egyptian border will no longer be an issue in national security, and both our peoples can focus on protecting the natural frontiers of the Sahara in the West, the Mediterranean in the North, and the Sinai in the East. Economically, the dissolution of the Faxum-Egypt border will allow for the natural thoroughfare of the Nile – now fully unified under one government with unified economic policies – to be used without hindrance, and Egypt will reap the full benefits of being along the lucrative Majterre-Faxum trade routes.
 
Firstly, I of course buy an Omegamiibo, as it is my patriotic duty

Action One:



Due to my popularity in the Great White North (as seen by all the friendly Canadians who have come out to support me, love you guys <3), I must find a way to get this war with the smelly fascists done and over with. Therefore, I implore the help of the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen, or RCKY, in help with the final struggle against the christos menance. After all, they just recently recovered from the disastrous Harper government. They know what it's like.

If they could be so kind as to depart from the Winnipeg/Calgary area and go southwards towards that nice, undefended border, that would be great!

Action Two:

As soon as Megan gave the order to her council to contact the Canadians, she excused herself. She had to make another call, one of pressing national security. The Generalissima needed her privacy for a conversation like this, due to the sensitive nature of the contents being discussed.

Hastily typing a long string of numbers, the ruler of Namiba rushed the phone to her ear. She impatiently tapped her foot as the phone continued to ring and ring. What seemed like an eternity later, Megan was finally greeted with a tepid bonjour. The Generalissima grinned at hearing the familiar voice on the other side.

"Bonjour," Megan greeted enthusiastically, "Yvette. It's been a while, non?"

An audible sigh was the first response the blue haired woman received. "What do you want, Megan?"

Megan was flabbergasted at her character's annoyance. "Is there something wrong, Yvette?"

"Oui," Yvette retorted, "Let me guess. You want another IOT where you parade me around to shill for your chosen ideology. Use me for a projection for the womanyou wish you were, simply because back in middle school you determined you liked the name Yvette so you use it every time you make a French-cultured character."

"I...." Megan drew a complete blank. What the hell is going on?

"Look, Megan, I'm happy in Namur. Zhakov and I are raising a family together. We stopped OSIRIS, we stopped that German alliance in that 'cold' war, and most imporantly, we stopped Tigershark, the Xenids, and that fracking Order! Let me just enjoy my happy ending already!"

"This isn't like the other times. I just need you for one operation. Just kill-"

"One operation turns into one game. Then you'll keep reusing me the next time you're France, etc. etc. Don't lie to me."

Megan knew Yvette was right. There was no way she could promise her character that she'd never use her again. After all, Megan liked Yvette, and is probably one of her favorite personal creations. To say she had no intentions of using her ever again is like Tom Morello saying he's putting down "Arm the Homeless" for good.

"Look," Megan pleaded, "I need someone with your skillset. I need a sniper to take out a very important target. That's why I called you. I'm not going to mess with your relationship with Zhakov or Élodie. I'll even say it's canon in this game. You have a happy, perfect marriage! Just, god, I really need someone dead and gah."

"You're probably also going to make me young again, aren't you?"

"Well, duh, I need you as you were as a sniper, not as a politician."

Yvette sighed heavily. "Fine. I'll get over to America as soon as I can."

"Trés merci, Yvette," Megan said exasperatedly. "I'll give you the deets when you get here."

Hire Yvette Pettigrew to assassinate Christos directly
 
Majteree will invite the world to times of joy!

State Action Most Vital to Perform: engage the matrilineal marriage between Artemis Solomon, heir to the Imperial Throne of Majterre, and the British Prince Henry of York. All that come from the marriage will be of House Solomon and henceforth be successors to the Majterren Empire.The marriage will ensure closer links between the Majterren Empire and the United Kingdom. We will invite world leaders to come to the wedding for the act itself and the feasts that will be held.

Free Action: use state funds to buy a Omegamiibo
 
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upload_2017-6-5_2-41-29.jpeg

The Prime Minister sat at his desk, sitting back and looking contented.

"Alright," he said, "It looks like our SPD situation is defused for the time being - and on top of that, we have more actions. Things seem to be looking up!"

"We still owe money for the lakes," Wilson reminded.

"We'll cross that bridge later," shrugged the Prime Minister, "For now we have more important matters - such as the Royal Marriage. Ford?"

"I'm pretty sure everything seems set to go ahead on that front," shrugged Ford, "The marriage will strengthen ties between ourselves and the Empress, which means we won't have to worry too much about securing the Channel against any possible incursions."

"That and the public loves a good Royal Wedding," shrugged Bernard, who was taking notes in the corner.

"That they do, that they do," nodded the Prime Minister, "Alright, see to it that it goes ahead."

ACTION 1: Wed Prince Henry of York to Artemis Solomon on agreed matrilineal terms. Wedding proceedings will be attended by the Prime Minister, Foreign Secretary Stanford Pines and Culture Secretary Mabel Pines.

"Okay," said the Prime Minister, "What's next on the agenda?"

"Ireland," replied Ford, "If we want to control the Western Approaches, we'll need access to Irish ports."

"Who's in charge in Ireland right now?" asked the Prime Minister.

"We don't know," replied Wilson.

"Hmm...alright, send a diplomatic team, see what we can do," nodded the Prime Minister, "Alright chaps, that'll be all - Pearl, stay here."

ACTION 2: Send a team to Ireland to discuss peaceful annexation of the island, or at very least the rights to establish naval bases on it's western coastline.

The Prime Minister waited until the other ministers were gone before leaning in.

"I plan to become involved in the American War soon," he said, "Christos must be stopped, for the good of us all. But I don't think we're ready."

"So we'll need more troops?" asked Pearl.

"Not quite, although that would be helpful," replied the Prime Minister, "I have it on good authority that there are...artifacts in this country. I offered...the interested party permission to search for them, but I think it would be beneficial to begin a hunt ourselves."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Pearl," he said, "I want you to find Excalibur."

He paused.

"Or Caliburn," he added, "Or whatever it is. I have a friend who'll get really annoyed if I get my mythical swords mixed up. If he decides I've got this wrong he may bludgeon me to death with a D&D rulebook..."

"I'll get started right away," nodded Pearl, "That sword will be ours, mark my words!"

She marched out of the office, leaving the Prime Minister alone.

"Are they the same sword? Different swords? Does it depend on who you ask?" he muttered to himself, "Do I need to pray to Sabre? Or Geoffrey of Monmouth or something? Arthurian myth is confusing..."

ACTION 3: Send Pearl on an epic expedition to find Excalibur/Caliburn/Whatever.

FREE ACTION: Buy a Omegamiibo for my office.
 
Majteree will invite the world to times of joy!

State Action Most Vital to Perform: engage the matrilineal marriage between Artemis Solomon, heir to the Imperial Throne of Majterre, and the British Prince Henry of York. All that come from the marriage will be of House Solomon and henceforth be successors to the Majterren Empire.The marriage will ensure closer links between the Majterren Empire and the United Kingdom. We will invite world leaders to come to the wedding for the act itself and the feasts that will be held.

Free Action: use state funds to buy a Omegamiibo

The ambassadors to France will be attending the official feast in my absence due to domestic issues.
 
The Empire of Majterre will be making plans to for table arrangements; we will welcome head of states you to declare if you are coming or sending a representative. Please note we need to make arrangements for your table and any diet needs, so please place in advance so we can ensure your place at the table.

We have already given plans that Emperor Tani I will be granted a seat next to King Leon II.

We will create a design of the table setting to know where you will be all seated for the wedding feast.

The ambassadors to France will be attending the official feast in my absence due to domestic issues.

We welcome your ambassadors. Do they have diet needs?
 
State Action Most Vital to Perform
: engage the matrilineal marriage between Artemis Solomon, heir to the Imperial Throne of Majterre, and the British Prince Henry of York. All that come from the marriage will be of House Solomon and henceforth be successors to the Majterren Empire.The marriage will ensure closer links between the Majterren Empire and the United Kingdom. We will invite world leaders to come to the wedding for the act itself and the feasts that will be held.

the Sultan will take part in the wedding celebration, because its something different and useful and fun to do.

special requirements:
1. you may see him pray to ISIS, the Egyptian goddess a lot. some care may have to be taken, to avoid misunderstanding.
2. the Sultan wishes to bring two of his Royal Gaurds with him. he is paranoid about his safety.
3. he will want the location of the wedding to be well guarded in general. obviously. he is paranoid about other people's safety as well.
 
You say you want a revolution, well you know
We all want to roll good roles
You tell me to appease the Sultan, well you know
You’re crazy aren’t you Math

But when you talk about royal feasts
Don’t you know that you can count me out
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all furries
All furries, all furries

You’re getting mad about an island, well you know
It’s like American Empire again
You tell me that Crete’s that important, well you know
It’s not part of the big plan

But if you want more roles for actions that don’t deserve it
Don’t you know that you’re just encouraging, encouraging the furries
The furries, the furries

[Keyboard solo in the style of the Soviet National Anthem]

You say there’ll be a steady update schedule, well you know
The first turn took a month to come out
You say it’s because “the sprites, the map”, well you know
You’re just spending time on Fegel-Alert

But if you’re making special sprites for any old schmuck
How can you expect us to give a woooosh

Don’t you know all that matters are the meeeeemes
Meeeeeemes
Meeeeeemes
Meeeeeemes
Meeeeeemes
It’s just the memes!
 
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We would welcome the company of bards from other realms for the wedding to increase the entertainment!

We also welcome jesters...

For the record we would like to purpose that Saga Vollan, troll grey warrior priestess and the Empress's personal chaplain, will serve as the priestess of the wedding.

the Sultan will take part in the wedding celebration, because its something different and useful and fun to do.

special requirements:
1. you may see him pray to ISIS, the Egyptian goddess a lot. some care may have to be taken, to avoid misunderstanding.
2. the Sultan wishes to bring two of his Royal Gaurds with him. he is paranoid about his safety.
3. he will want the location of the wedding to be well guarded in general. obviously. he is paranoid about other people's safety as well.

We are pleased you come. You may bring your royal guards. The guarding of the wedding will be handled by both the UK security services and our own imperial guard, the latter commanded by Thorvaldr "Hammerfist" Stenberg, troll shadow warrior priest and champion of the Empire. As for the ancient Egyptian goddess of health, marriage, and wisdom we will not bar you from your praying and will have information available to avoid confusion with Daesh.
 
We welcome your ambassadors. Do they have diet needs?

Not that I know of, no. But your chefs better make nice food or they're going to be up for elimination next Tuesday.
 
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