Roll To Dodge 3

[choxorn]

I regenerate my eyes.

5: Your eyes spontaneously grow back into your head, and they now are mysteriously glowing blue. Also, (+4 hp)

After being underwater so long, I finally realize something. I am trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense at all. As such, I realize that the latern doesn't even exist and that I am in fact at home in my bed dreaming. How else would all this crap make sense? (Well other than the D1C3 G0D I hang out with him often)

4: You wake up at home, and realize it was just a dream. Then you realize that's a dream too and wake up back in the room. But you're not drowning any more, at least. OH POOP.

I grab the lightsaber by the handle.

3: You successfully grab it by the handle, but forget to pick it up, and instead just hold it on the floor.

I eat Bratmon in an attempt to restore HP.

2: You open your mouth and attempt to eat Bratmon, but cannot bite through the carrot's skin.

Damn you! That was my plan!

I eat Perfection in an attempt to restore HP.

4: You bite Perfection's arm off. (+4 hp), (-4 hp for Perfection) It proves to be kind of hard to chew though, and the bats attack you while you're chewing:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You bat all the bats away with the bone from Perfection's Arm. And continue to eat the boner.

EFFECT ADDED PERFECTION: One-Armed. You're missing an arm, and can't do anything that requires too arms, and take -1 to all rolls.

I modify the laws of physics so that entropy can decrease spontaneously and use that to recover my health.

4: The laws of physics refuse to bend at your whim, but pity you and heal you anyway. (+2 hp)

I slap Captain2 with the bazooka. He needs to die.

2: You attempt to slap him, miss, and start twirling around in a circle, and trip on a crack. (-2 hp)

I use the first-aid kit to recover health!

5: SUCCESS! (+7 hp)

scratch my quest for enligtenment

I give into the swords requests and stab Diamondeye

4: Diamondeye is stabbed. (-4 hp) Diamondeye is DEAD.

ACHIEVEMENT: First Blood! First person to kill someone else. Worth 30 GS.

Hmm. I'll just keep this roll for later. It's not like I can do anything.

1: You fail. And the bats attack you for no reason at all, just cause you rolled a 1:

ROLL TO DODGE!
3: They bite you a few times. (-5 hp)

I FALCON PAWNCH perfection.

3: You abort the baby he wasn't pregnant with, shout FALCON PAWNCH! in a strange way, and take away his remaining 1 HP. Perfection is DEAD.

I create a ball of fire that will unfreeze me from the ice, and time so that I'm back with everybody else in the dark room.

4: The fire melts the ice, but not the time. And it burns you. Didn't think that one through too well, did you? ROFL MAO (-4 HP)

I use ma 5 to quickly become a person again.

5: You are no longer a carrot. The bats still want to eat you, though:

ROLL TO DODGE!
3: The eat part of you, but nothing important, just some of those fat rolls. (-6 hp)

 

[Milarqui]

I extract the life-force of everything around me to recover.

 

[Winston Hughes]

Having developed a taste for human flesh, I will now attempt to eat Seon, whose glowing blue eyes look rather delicious.

 

[rhawn]

I am now an angel. I need a bell to ring so that I may gain my wings and make baby Jesus happy. Someone please ring a bell to make a little boy happy! May I suggest preventing someone from jumping from a high bridge or perhaps smashing one of your opponents in the skull and giving them a concussion?

 

[Catharsis]

I shine the light from my Shiny Sword in Bratmon's eyes so I can steal his reserve 6.

 

[civplayah]

I offer help to someone, anyone who can tip me back onto my new wheels!

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I use a time machine to get me unfrozen and back in the present day, in the dark room.

 

[Diamondeye]

I leave this thread after dying. Bye, suckers!

 

[Milarqui]

I have a plan for Roll To Dodge 4, which is going to take place in a mall. This is a special rule I have made up for it:

Special Rule: Entering a Shop
If you decide to enter a shop, I will throw 2 dices so that I can decide what happens when you do enter:
- First dice: Relationship between expectations and reality.
You must tell me the name of the shop and what you expect to be there. Depending on what I get on the dice, you'll find either what you wanted or what you didn't want.
1: Are you sure you were looking for THIS? (the shop doesn't have anything at all similar to what you wanted)
2: We might have had that, but... (the shop has something slightly similar to what you wanted)
3: If you had come last year, we would have given you that (related to what you look for, but not exactly that)
4: Yeah, but it was 50 years ago (you find what you looked for, but the shop's stok is either old or half-broken)
5: We indeed sell what you want (up-to-date of whatever you want)
6: OMFG! I called for a little rain and got the Flood! (totally up-to-date and great quantities of what you wanted, and even something more)

Example: Player A: I enter Victoria's Secret, and expect it to be full of sexy feminine lingerie.
3: You enter Victoria's Secrets, and find it full of BDSM-related objects.
Player B: I enter Ammu-Nation and expect it to be full of weapons and ammunition.
6: OMG! When you enter Ammu-For-A-Nation, not only do you find enough weapons to supply a medium-sized army, but also a FRIGGING TACTICAL MINI-NUKE!

- Second dice: Watch out for that las...
When you enter a shop, the alarms may blare up or not, thus bringing different responses to you. However, in here there is no police, as the shops are equipped to fully answer by themselves to the potential threat of a robber (i.e. you).
1: Get away or get OBLITERATED! (Shop answers with immediate and overwhelming reaction to your entrance in the shop)
2: Wanna see me put this through your head? (Shop answers with immediate reaction to your entrance in the shop)
3: You have 5 seconds to deactivate me (Alarm sounds, but you still have a chance to get away or to deactivate it... if you find the control panel)
4: Situation: DEFCON 4 (the alarm doesn't sound, but it may in the next turn)
5: Cree, cree, cree (the alarm is deactivated and will never sound. That's the sound crickets make, BTW)
6: Oh, sorry, Sir, we didn't expect you here! (The alarm is activated, but it somehow recognises you as the owner of the shop, and will now obey you!)

Example: Player A has entered Victoria's Secrets, a BDSM shop.
6: The shop lights turn on, giving everything a reddish hue. Then, a sensual feminine voice says, "My Lord and Master, how may I help you?", and a sexy woman dressed with a domino mask, leather bra, leather tanga and leather high-heel boots and carrying a whip enters the room.
Player B has entered Ammu-For-A-Nation, a shop with lots of weapons and a tactical mini-nuke.
1: An alarm blares. Out of nowhere, a shoe appears. You sigh. Then the shoe launches itself at the tactical mini-nuke, and hits it. After a few seconds, you think it's a dud, but suddenly WHAT THE HELL KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Other rules stay the same!

 

[Seon]

My eyes are shining? I grow a new pair of wings to turn into an angel.

 

[Bratmon]

Attack bats with inf sword.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I ask this question again for the sake of all players. If you die, do you come back as goasts as in the previous 2 games? Or just leave?

 

[choxorn]

Attack bats with inf+1 sword.

It's only the Infintity Sword, not Infinity Plus One.

I ask this question again for the sake of all players. If you die, do you come back as goasts as in the previous 2 games? Or just leave?

Yes, you do, I already answered you.

 

[mythmonster2]

I use Force Jump to jump up and smash down into Milarqui with my lightsaber.

 

[mechaerik]

I click on Perfection's corpse and loot it of all its valuables.

 

[Perfection]

My corpse releases a truly horrendous death fart in mechaerik's face

 

[choxorn]

Sorry for lack of update yesterday, I wasn't here to update.

I extract the life-force of everything around me to recover.

6: You steal 1 HP from every player, even the dead ones. This adds up to a total of (+15 HP), and (-1 HP) to every player. Captain2, who only had 1 HP, is now DEAD.

Having developed a taste for human flesh, I will now attempt to eat Seon, whose glowing blue eyes look rather delicious.

1: You attempt to bite him, only for his glowing blue eyes to suddenly shoot lasers at you. (-10 HP)

I am now an angel. I need a bell to ring so that I may gain my wings and make baby Jesus happy. Someone please ring a bell to make a little boy happy! May I suggest preventing someone from jumping from a high bridge or perhaps smashing one of your opponents in the skull and giving them a concussion?

5: You will gain your wings the next time someone either prevents someone from dying or attacks their head. Or a bell just rings for some other reason and I decide to give them to you.

I shine the light from my Shiny Sword in Bratmon's eyes so I can steal his reserve 6.

6: Your shiny sword blinds Bratmon, allowing you to steal his reserve 6, and his reserve 3.

I offer help to someone, anyone who can tip me back onto my new wheels!

4: You tell rhawn you'll ring a bell if he tips you up again. Whether or not he does so is his choice.

I use a time machine to get me unfrozen and back in the present day, in the dark room.

3: You remain frozen in time. And you're still in the present day, you're just frozen.

I leave this thread after dying. Bye, suckers!

Fine, goodbye then.

My eyes are shining? I grow a new pair of wings to turn into an angel.

4: You too can gain wings when a bell rings, but not yet.

Attack bats with inf sword.

5: You kill a few of them, but the remaining ones are visibly annoyed and attack you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You slice all of them that attack you.

I use Force Jump to jump up and smash down into Milarqui with my lightsaber.

2: You jump, but still find yourself unable to lift the lightsaber off the ground.

I click on Perfection's corpse and loot it of all its valuables.

1: The corpse gets up as a zombie, punches you in the face, and steals the Brothel Gift Card back. (-9 HP)

My corpse releases a truly horrendous death fart in mechaerik's face

5: You unleash a massive fart, releasing a somewhat poisonous gas cloud in mechaerik's face. (-4 hp to mechaerik), and he'll lose another 4 hp if he fails to escape it.

 

[Milarqui]

NEAT! Most harmful attack in the game!

I send out an hypnotic wave, so that everyone and everything around me will ignore me completely, thus preserving my health until everyone else is dead.

EDIT: Why didn't anyone comment on my neatly organized ruleset for RtD4?

 

[mythmonster2]

I say "Screw it" and bash Milarqui with my AK47.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I still try to get unfrozen from time! This has not been my best moment. I wish that I hadn't tryed to time travel.