Roll To Dodge 3

[Terrance888]

I leave the volcano to heal myself in order to kill Winston after defeating Kill Fire.

 

[civplayah]

I attempt to blind rhawn with my brilliant light.

 

[mythmonster2]

I open my new box.

 

[Bratmon]

I keep the outcome of this roll on reserve as well.

I also threaten anyone who comes near me.

 

[mechaerik]

I mug Perfection.

 

[choxorn]

And on the 4th day, The LORD said "Let there be an Update to Roll to Dodge", and Roll to Dodge was updated!

I teleport to the D1C3 G0D's house so we can chill again.

Okay then, I change my action to: I call the D1C3 G0D so he can pick me up and we can chill again.

You know what I'll just reserve the outcome of this roll for later.

1: you fail to reserve the outcome for later, and instead bonk your head against the lantern, which still doesn't break. (-5 hp)

2 TURNS UNTIL DEATH

Out of sadism (and desire for a rules experiment), I try to stop killfire teleporting.

In case that works (does "multiple actions at once" count later posts after an intiial one), I will switch to attempting to punch my way out of the room.

Despite my circumstances, I attempt to raise an army.

1: Your attempt at switching and doing these things results in confusion.

Wild THEWESTLEY has become confused! He hurt himself in his confusion! (-6 hp)

Ouch, ouch, ouch. What nasty little creatures bats are! What was Sinterklaus thinking when he packed this gift? All I wanted was a green power ranger action figure. I'm sure one of his Elves made a mistake when packing this present. My mother would be very dismayed if she knew I was irresponsible and played with things only grown ups should touch. I leave the rocket launcher and the light saber on the ground. These are gifts for naughty boys, not a good boy like I. I like the shiny armor, I will put it on and play knights and knaves!

2: You drop the shiny armor in addition to the lightsaber and the rocket launcher accidentally. WTFLOL

I pray to the Almighty God that a solution may present itself in order to rid myself of the evil bats and players.

6: God gives you the Not-Quite-So-Holy Hand Grenade of Acre (The Antioch Grenade was taken), and a piece of cheese.

I pick up the bazooka and begin to hunt bats with it

6: You slide over to rhawn, grab the bazooka, and fire it, killing several bats all in one fell swoop. But more are still there!

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: They bite you a few times, blah blah (-5 hp)

I chop Milarqui's hands off before he can finish praying.

3: His 6 creates a holy shield around his hands, preventing you from doing this. Also, the bats attack:

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: You know the drill. (-5 hp)

I open my gift

6: You find the Unholy Sword of Satan, who hath commanded you to use it to kill stuff. You also get a laser gun (unlimited ammo).

I wipe my boogers on Captain2 and open gift.

3: You wipe them on a box, but miss Captain2.

6: Jesus Christ, Santa's been nice with the presents! You get the Holy Shotgun (12 bullets), and a gift card that may be redeemed for $100 at the nearest brothel.

I open th survival kit.

1: Out pops a knife, which stabs you in the eyes. (-8 hp)

EFFECT ADDED: Blind. You can't see and thus take -1 to all rolls.

I grow myself a new carrot penis, to replace the old fleshy one that the bats are currently feasting on.

5: A nice-looking penis-shaped carrot appears where your penis once was.

I leave the volcano to heal myself in order to kill Winston after defeating Kill Fire.

5-3 for posting 4 actions simulatenously=2: You remain in the volcano. (-4 hp)

I attempt to blind rhawn with my brilliant light.

5: Rhawn is blinded! He trips over the shiny armor he dropped. (-3 hp for rhawn)

I open my new box.

3: You get a shiny gold coin.

I keep the outcome of this roll on reserve as well.

I also threaten anyone who comes near me.

5: You now have both a 5 and a 6 in reserve. Congratulations.

I mug Perfection.

5: Perfection is hurt (-4 hp for Perfection), and you steal his Brothel Gift Card and Flashlight.

 

[TheWesley]

I attempt to restore my lost H.P.

 

[kill fire]

Alright, thats it. SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME! I teleport home so I can enjoy a merry Christmas.

 

[Milarqui]

I use the Not-So-Holy-Hand-Grenade-of-Acre against Captain2.

 

[Diamondeye]

I decide that blowing up Captain2, who has a lazer, is a priority, and as such I use my newly-gained bazooka to blow him to smytherines.

 

[rhawn]

Waaaahhhh! My eyes. Oh my what did I do to deserve this. I want my mommy!

 

[Seon]

I run around screaming Aah aah aah aah agh aah agh

 

[Captain2]

I pee myself as a free action and then use my lazer gun to kill Diamondeye

 

[Catharsis]

I decide to go back to Plan A and stab Milarqui in the groin instead.

 

[Winston Hughes]

I turn Bratmon into a carrot.

 

[mythmonster2]

I grab rhawn's lightsaber and block any incoming attacks.

 

[Terrance888]

I destroy the 6 sided dice so you are forced to use a 4 sided dice.

 

[civplayah]

I shine a beacon in the sky, trying to find someone who can make me a custom-made lighthouse wheelchair.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I unfreeze my self.

 

[Perfection]

I shoot mechaerik with the shotgun