Roll to Dodge: An eternity of Chaos

[W|M]

WIM: I don't have any money, perhaps you mean Winston?

No, you clearly have money hidden on your body.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I join and make a pizza.

13: You now have a peperoni pizza

Danke.
With my Ninjaing powers, I make some ammo.

12: You manage to create 20 rounds of ammo.

"I made a mistake. I meant for you to kill roman gods, vampires."

2: They completely fail in their attack on the Roman Gods losing half their number. Jupiter sends Neptune and Mars to Earth to kill you.

Kill some Djinn(Genies) in Arabia, in search of an ancient text(Ulmeka Al'Haram or simply Al'Haram) to solve the love problems on Mount Olympus.

Spoiler :

Ulmeka Al'Haram=Almaqah's Harem
Almaqah=Arabian sun god
Al'Haram=How to fire a harem from a trebuchet.

1: You board an airplane to Arabia but it crashes, you somehow survive but you lose 100 HP

I proceed to pull the Earth into the Sun.

6: You fail in fact you pull yourself into low Earth orbit.

I steal SKs money

10: You are unable to steal it seeing as he is in low earth orbit.

Buoyed by my new-found wealth, I spend a night of drunken gambling at The Sands, in the company of various celebrities and mobsters.

14: You win it big at the blackjack tables ($200.00) But you also get drunk (-1 to rolls requiring co-ordination, +1 to rolls requiring a large amount of guts)

My clan assassinates SouthernKing for attempting to destroy the Earth!

16: They surround him and attack causing 20 HP of damage

I join them in the assault.

14: You back them up for another 10 HP of damage to SK

 

[Nintz]

Seeing as how SK is now in space, I send my loyal ninjas to New York for WIM instead.

I forge myself a katana.

 

[W|M]

I steal topsecret's pizza and eat it.

 

[Winston Hughes]

I make friendly with some mobsters over Dry Manhattans and Cuban cigars.

Spoiler Dry Manhattan :

2oz Rye Whiskey
1/2oz dry vermouth
1 dash angostura bitters
1 maraschino cherry
1 Orange Twist

Add the whiskey, vermouth and bitters to a mixing glass containing a few ice cubes and stir. Put the cherry into a chilled cocktail glass and strain the mix over it. Twist the orange peel over the drink and add.

 

[topsecret]

I eat MY pizza, giving me super powers.

 

[JohannaK]

I join and become James Bond in 1964 in Las Vegas due to the plot of Diamonds are Forever taking place before the film was actually shot.

 

[CivDad]

Dropping out because the RNG killed my roleplay.

 

[Darth Caesar]

Dropping out because the RNG killed my roleplay.

Mars and Neptune dispatch you. They stay and hang around Earth while your vampires are left leaderless.

I join and become James Bond in 1964 in Las Vegas due to the plot of Diamonds are Forever taking place before the film was actually shot.

4: Congratulations you are James Bond in 1964, but you are also captured by an evil mastermind and handcuffed to a chair. You’re going to have to find a way out of this

I eat MY pizza, giving me super powers.

8: You only manage to get a bite before WIM takes it from you

I make friendly with some mobsters over Dry Manhattans and Cuban cigars.

Spoiler Dry Manhattan :

2oz Rye Whiskey
1/2oz dry vermouth
1 dash angostura bitters
1 maraschino cherry
1 Orange Twist

Add the whiskey, vermouth and bitters to a mixing glass containing a few ice cubes and stir. Put the cherry into a chilled cocktail glass and strain the mix over it. Twist the orange peel over the drink and add.

5 (4+1): All goes well until you spill your martini on Don Robert’s coat, he has his boys take the money for the cleaning ($50.00) and then throw you outside the casino (-3 HP)

I steal topsecret's pizza and eat it.

12: You take topsecret’s pizza from him and eat it, it taste good.

Seeing as how SK is now in space, I send my loyal ninjas to New York for WIM instead.

I forge myself a katana.

12: They find him and attack him for 5 HP
1: While trying to forge the sword you set yourself on fire, causing -10 HP and losing -5 HP per turn until you put it out.

SouthernKing, SamSniped and James Caesar suffer a 5 hp penalty for no action this turn

 

[JohannaK]

Silly evil masterminds. I open the handcuffs with a universal master key that Q gave me in The Living Daylights.

 

[topsecret]

I head to China and learn Kung-Fu.

 

[W|M]

I steal both the handcuffs and Joan's key.

 

[Milarqui]

I join in and lay claim to all of Australia, since it is now depopulated.

 

[SamSniped]

I run for president.

 

[Nintz]

My ninjas continue to hunt WIM.

I jump in a river.

 

[Winston Hughes]

I use my club as a front for a prostitution/blackmail scam, in which I secretly take photographs of married men in flagrante with vice girls, then threaten to expose their dirty secrets unless they pay me large sums of money.

 

[KaiserElectric]

I summon the Eye of Cthulhu!

 

[Darth Caesar]

Silly evil masterminds. I open the handcuffs with a universal master key that Q gave me in The Living Daylights.

15: You succeed, and thanks to the incompetent guards sleeping on the job you walk out of the evil mastermind’s fortress

I head to China and learn Kung-Fu.

16: You are now have a moderate expertise in kung fu

I steal both the handcuffs and Joan's key.

12: You manage to take Joan’s handcuffs but not the key

I join in and lay claim to all of Australia, since it is now depopulated.

17: You now have control over a barren wasteland filled with radioactive Koala Bears

I run for president.

20: Congratulations in the chaos of the moon collision you ascend to the position to President of North America, and the United Kingdom!

My ninjas continue to hunt WIM.

I jump in a river.

7: He evades them
14: You jump in a river quenching the flames

I use my club as a front for a prostitution/blackmail scam, in which I secretly take photographs of married men in flagrante with vice girls, then threaten to expose their dirty secrets unless they pay me large sums of money.

8: You are unable to find any girls attractive enough for the endeavor, thus it fails.

I summon the Eye of Cthulhu!

19: You summon the Eye of Cthulhu from another dimension ready to obey your orders, he spawns two Servants of Cthulhu

Mars and Neptune are wary of the Eye of Cthulhu's arrival
The Greek God-hating Vampire Coven start converting citizens to vampires to replenish their numbers
Police sirens are heard in the distance

Southern King and James Caesar suffer -5 HPs due to no action

 

[Darth Caesar]

I am no longer accepting additional players

 

[KaiserElectric]

I find an embarrassing photo of SamSniped and upload it to the internet.

Meanwhile, have the Eye of Cthulhu whack around SouthernKing.