Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[GenMarshall]

I punch through Bagleman's hide to escape!

 

[Darth Caesar]

I read something on science while I travel

 

[Seon]

I journey to the ship's AI core, where my body shall interface directly to the AI and become one.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I wrench it from Redspy's hand and plunge it into his face!

10: You're smart enough not to grab the blade again.

I backstab Terrance with my knife.

18 (19): You plunge the rotating blade into his back for a grisly 17 damage, leading to severe hemorrhaging (-12 hp/turn).

Ok, I'm bored now. I shoot more missiles at the ship.

16 (19): Everyone on board suffers 23 damage, and the structural integrity of the observation deck is now critically compromised.

Strangle Red_Spy.

5 (10): You grasp at nothing as his head jerks backward in response to the knife in his dorsal region.

The acid finally is neutralised on my own bodily fluid.

3: Medic, man, you need a medic! The corrosion worsens to 14 damage per turn.

I punch through Bagleman's hide to escape!

7: You discover to your dismay, that Bagel Man, being made of grain, does not have a hide.

I read something on science while I travel

18: You gain a +3 bonus to rolls concerning chemistry from reading !!!!!'s cookbooks.

I journey to the ship's AI core, where my body shall interface directly to the AI and become one.

10: Abaddon will likely have posted guards there by now.

!!!!! and Verarde suffer 20 damage for inactivity.

 

[Red_Spy]

I attack Abaddon with my knife.

 

[Double A]

I shoot a super missile at the ship.

 

[GenMarshall]

I burst out of Bagleman

(Jesus! When is Bagleman going to leave me alone!?)

 

[mythmonster2]

Perform battlefield surgery on Terrance to fix him up.

 

[Terrance888]

I accept mythmonsters help my lying still, swearing to repay this debt.

 

[Boundless]

Woops, nevermind!

 

[Abaddon]

I cry out for a medic to come and help me while assuming a defensive position.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I concoct a healing salve with my new knowledge.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I attack Abaddon with my knife.

3 (4): mythmonster2's bodyguard won't let you leave.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): A shattering blow liberates you of 18 hitpoints and worsens your bleeding by -6 hp/turn.

I shoot a super missile at the ship.

9 (12): Your souper missile obscures the viewports.

I burst out of Bagleman

11: You flop out of the doughhold.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13: You manage to evade the counterattack.

Perform battlefield surgery on Terrance to fix him up.

18 (20): You restore 100 hitpoints, stem the bleeding and mend his ankle.

I accept mythmonsters help my lying still, swearing to repay this debt.

7: Your agitated nerves lead to 7 damage from involuntary lurches.

I cry out for a medic to come and help me while assuming a defensive position.

20: You're carted to the (blood-soaked) medical bay. Each turn you remain in operation will restore 40 hitpoints.

I concoct a healing salve with my new knowledge.

7 (10): You make a power drink.

 

[Double A]

I shoot missiles at the med bay.

 

[mythmonster2]

Pursue Red_Spy.

 

[Red_Spy]

I disguese as CivGeneral.

 

[landlubber]

I ask around to see if anyone knows the guy who made the war game.

 

[Seon]

I strangle a guard and take his uniform and weapons.

 

[Abaddon]

Medics patch up my body and I lose the "death at less than 50" thingy...

 

[Terrance888]

I beat on Red Spy.