Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

I find a tribal village.
 
I inform them that the contact number is (44) 10 1800 8135, and hope that they can confirm my identity quickly as I have pressing matters of international urgency to attend to.
 
I steal Abaddon's photos for my benefit :p
 
I use the absence of a floor to get underneath everyone else whilst they can't see me.
 
landlubber said:
Okay. So, now, I look for some water.
1 (2): You find a brush fire. A big one.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (8): OH TEH NOES it's spreading around you!

Dhoomstriker said:
I join the game as a humanitarian and do something nice for each of the other participants.
11: You haven't killed them. That's a start, I guess.

Abaddon said:
I combine the Perkins Gentlemen's Pomade, two gum balls, a fake Soviet medal, and an ostrich feather into a fantastic outfit of which i take photos using my disposable camera and pay for the development (however much it costs?) out of my $30.
2: You spend $12 to photograph a mess.

Red_Spy said:
I ask the rebel leader for a job.
14: Go make sure Skwink and his friend don't get themselves killed.

CivGeneral said:
I find a tribal village.
14: You come across a tribe of bushmen.

mythmonster2 said:
Look for tourists to kill.
15: You stumble upon a group of tourists just back from safari.

hendo said:
I inform them that the contact number is (44) 10 1800 8135, and hope that they can confirm my identity quickly as I have pressing matters of international urgency to attend to.
12: They're trying, but it's a busy signal.

Skwink said:
Sam and I invade Washington DC.
19: You somehow manage to convince the rebel leader to let you go off on your own, commandeering a yacht and setting sail for the East Coast.

Boundless said:
I steal Abaddon's photos for my benefit :p
14: You run into the camp and snatch the photos, cackling madly.

EnglishCrusader said:
I use the absence of a floor to get underneath everyone else whilst they can't see me.
20: You use your bare hands to dig out a vast tunnel network.

Darth Caesar said:
I start building a GDR
9: You lack the components.

Verarde said:
I look for useful items.
16: You collect some twigs, a tuber, and a discarded compass.
 
I follow Skwink to Wahington D.C.
 
While Sam covers my back, I borrow Sam's Rifle and snipe the President from our boat.
 
Since it was recently Abaddon's birthday, I bake a cake for each of the other players and then feed a piece of each and every cake to each player, so that everyone can enjoy a piece of everyone else's representative birthday cakes; representative meaning that they get their cakes now regardless of when they were born. I was so busy thinking about everyone else that I forgot to save any cake for myself.
 
I use my vast network of tunnels to crawl to Washington DC.
 
Red_Spy said:
I follow Skwink to Wahington D.C.
8: That was the last boat!

mythmonster2 said:
Attack the tourists in a wild frenzy.
3 (5): You trip and fall flat on your face, suffering 9 damage.

Skwink said:
While Sam covers my back, I borrow Sam's Rifle and snipe the President from our boat.
18: He's down!

Dhoomstriker said:
Since it was recently Abaddon's birthday, I bake a cake for each of the other players and then feed a piece of each and every cake to each player, so that everyone can enjoy a piece of everyone else's representative birthday cakes; representative meaning that they get their cakes now regardless of when they were born. I was so busy thinking about everyone else that I forgot to save any cake for myself.
1: Run around and catch everyone, even the two guys across the pond?! That's impractical to the point of your sanity slipping 3 points.

EnglishCrusader said:
I use my vast network of tunnels to crawl to Washington DC.
8: You'll have to tunnel under the ocean first.

Darth Caesar said:
I find the components
7: Not around here, guv.

landlubber said:
I run away!
20 (20): You run away so fast, your vapour trail extinguishes the fire.

hendo said:
I explore the station for any potential friends or useful items while they try to contact the embassy.
5: One of the constables decides you might behave a little better in a cell.

Verarde said:
I use the compass to find which direction is west.
13: 50 degrees to starboard.
 
I try to find a way to Skwink.
 
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