Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Verarde]

I join the game.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I read about time travel

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Sorry for all these delays. This week is especially busy.

Start tracking apes.

8 (10): Doesn't look like they've been through here.

With my new found rhinosity I set off in search of grass to eat.

10: *chew chew* *grimace* "This is the life..!"

I gather mystical herbs to try and ease the effects of the pills.

18: They also invigorate you, giving a +1 bonus for your next eight rolls.

I turn my stick into a spear.

7: NO ROOOOOOCKS!!

I purchase a good luck trinket from one of the markets.

3: Ah. You don't have your passport on you. The police take you in for questioning.

I meet a man and befriend him. His name is Samuel North.

15: You team up with Civil War vet Samuel W. North, C Company, 126th Pennsylvania.

I make a giraffe my friend/pet/horse-back ride.

10: It runs away.

The tourists have a very enjoyable safari with myself as their guide.

11: Well, no maulings yet.

I find a M1911 in the glove compartment in the jeep.

2: The jeep was booby-trapped by rebels.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: You suffer 10 damage as the whole thing explodes.

I join the game.

13: Welcome.

I read about time travel

4: Theoretically possible, but practically impossible.

 

[GenMarshall]

God damn it!! (I'm quite tempted to poke at the program Thorvald is using to see if the dice hates me or something)

Roll: I gather some healing herbs

 

[Red_Spy]

I join the army.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I go find a sexy rhino girlfriend.

 

[mythmonster2]

Look for a primitive weapon.

 

[Skwink]

Sam and I got to a speed dating place.

 

[landlubber]

I hope the pills wear off soon.
That's my action.

 

[hendo]

I convince the officers that I am a foreign diplomat, and therefore benefit from diplomatic immunity and cannot be punished, and that I'd have been unable to get through airport security without my passport anyway.

 

[Boundless]

I re-capture the giraffe, making it my slave instead.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I read about Giant death Robot Construction

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Wait, have I joined?

EDIT: I have. Whoops. Anyway:

I find a machete on the floor.

 

[Verarde]

Excellent. I find a powerful weapon.

 

[Abaddon]

The Tour ends, and the tourists gives me gifts for having such a fantastic time.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Things should be back on track now. Thank you for your patience.

I gather some healing herbs

13: You pick some herbs that shouldn't be poisonous.

I join the army.

4: You're press-ganged into a rebel group. But hey: Kalashnikov!

I go find a sexy rhino girlfriend.

17: In the interests of decorum, I shall forego a rhino-orinted pun.

Look for a primitive weapon.

20: You pick up a thick, solid branch, worth a +2 bonus to attack rolls.

Sam and I got to a speed dating place.

4: You get press-ganged into a rebel group. But hey: Kalashnikovs!

I hope the pills wear off soon.

They already have.

I convince the officers that I am a foreign diplomat, and therefore benefit from diplomatic immunity and cannot be punished, and that I'd have been unable to get through airport security without my passport anyway.

11: Highly suspect, yet... possible. What's the number for your embassy?

I re-capture the giraffe, making it my slave instead.

6: Damn, those things are fast. You lose 6 hitpoints exhausting yourself in the chase.

I read about Giant death Robot Construction

18: You gain the expertise to construct a GDR.

I find a machete on the floor.

5: There is no floor where you are.

Excellent. I find a powerful weapon.

14: You dig up an AK-47, fully-loaded.

The Tour ends, and the tourists gives me gifts for having such a fantastic time.

19: You get a jar of Perkins Gentlemen's Pomade, thirty bucks in tips, a disposable camera, three gum balls, a snowglobe, a fake Soviet medal, and an ostrich feather.

 

[landlubber]

Okay. So, now, I look for some water.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I join the game as a humanitarian and do something nice for each of the other participants.

 

[Abaddon]

ON MY RL BIRTHDAY so be nice?

I combine the Perkins Gentlemen's Pomade, two gum balls, a fake Soviet medal, and an ostrich feather into a fantastic outfit of which i take photos using my disposable camera and pay for the development (however much it costs?) out of my $30.

 

[Red_Spy]

I ask the rebel leader for a job.