Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Earthling]

I wait around and rest, regaining health and finding a place to crash with my remaining money if it'll be long, until November 19th.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I kill the cops.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

The Spartans and I go out to get Ice cream with magical-food-healing-powers.

3: Johnny Evilguy sabotages your order, giving you poison ice cream that depletes 18 health.

Practice my fire breathing imbetween lessons on demonology.

4 (5): You set your room on fire. You are not immune to fire.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (10): You take 2 damage from the heat.

I place in a request for a pair of night vision goggles.

5: "I'm afraid you'll need a request form to request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request the request..."

I summon a retinue of angels

17: You have six angels attending you.

I expel tuxedohamm back to the generic city in which we started.

6: You foul up the procedure, and you both take 6 damage.

I travel backward in time to 1982.

2: Without preparation, planning or even a rudimentary grasp of the space-time continuum, you attempt to shift your position in it. You nearly kill yourself in the botched attempt, suffering 26 damage.

I escape into hiding to recover from my loss.

15: Even after civplayah's erroneous ritual, you manage to sneak away back to the mortal plane.

I go out and buy enough orange juice to flood all of the city we started in.

13: You purchase a disturbingly large quantity of citrus refreshment for $60,000, but it is stored in multiple warehouses out-of-county.

I get all the generals to get all of their troops and rally to my position.

4: The troops become scattered and lost in the streets. Until they regroup, all their actions suffer -3 to rolls.

I wait around and rest, regaining health and finding a place to crash with my remaining money if it'll be long, until November 19th.

8: All the hotels are booked solid.

I kill the cops.

7: You attempt to sucker-punch the closest officer in the face, but he dodges your blow. His partner pulls out the Taser.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15: You narrowly avoid the barbs.

A posting in the classified section of the local newspaper outlines a request by a rich eccentric for "cash-strapped adventure-seekers looking for work".

 

[civplayah]

I keep chasing tuxedohamm.

 

[Earthling]

Guys, you probably could all stop trying to go back to 1982. Especially since I'll still be actively trying to get back to the present shortly. Have fun trying to erase yourselves from spacetime again and again if you want though.

My results... all right, I have a car to crash in anyway, that's the life of a college student, again, I'm chiefly just concerned with the date, doesn't look like I missed it.

So I'll put this a different way, assume I can manage sitting around like a perfectly normal person: I go with my new pals in the band to the football game against California.

 

[TheLastOne36]

I attack inactivity with my arm hoping that I will remember this thread next time, as well as gain something from doing so.

 

[choxorn]

I chase after Johnny Evilguy and slice his head off with my sword.

 

[Seon]

I descend from heaven to inflict the players on the mortal plane with divine wrath.

 

[tuxedohamm]

Sacrifice some children to regain my health.

 

[kill fire]

Thats it. I focus all of my energy it to one explosion, that will hopefully kill or at least mortally wound all of the players, even myself.

 

[GenMarshall]

Ugh!! I file and fill out the nessicary beurocratic paper work to request a pair of Night Vision goggles

 

[Earthling]

Oh yeah and I'm going to call that I bet that Metal Detector guy I sent off will pop back up, if he's not part of this adventurers lead right now. I originally thought to send instructions to someone to show up in a generic city dressed in a robe with a beard and then wander around and disappear into the crowd - your typical ontological paradox, but I didn't have any friends/minions/lackeys to do so.

 

[Anonymoose]

Is it too late to join? I'd like to join as a moose with human-level cognitive skills. Or just as a regular human. Whatever's acceptable.

 

[Earthling]

Looks like you could still join by the first page player list. I'm still not sure when the so-called "Round One" is going to end

 

[choxorn]

Thats it. I focus all of my energy it to one explosion, that will hopefully kill or at least mortally wound all of the players, even myself.

Can "All the players" not include me?

 

[Abaddon]

Continue my lessons.. in hell obviously (not on mortal plane)

 

[Omega124]

I start singing Rage against the Machine's "Bulls on Parade", emphizising the chorus to get the troops to my position.

" Rally 'round the family, with a pocket full of shells!"

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I keep chasing tuxedohamm.

7: Unfortunately, with him outside of Heaven and with no supernatural powers yourself, you are unable to penetrate his aura of invisibility.

So I'll put this a different way, assume I can manage sitting around like a perfectly normal person: I go with my new pals in the band to the football game against California.

8: California wins.

I attack inactivity with my arm hoping that I will remember this thread next time, as well as gain something from doing so.

9 (9): Only time will tell...

I chase after Johnny Evilguy and slice his head off with my sword.

12: You cripple him.

I descend from heaven to inflict the players on the mortal plane with divine wrath.

3: You are chastised for unprovoked aggression and suffer -2 to attack rolls for the next five turns.

Sacrifice some children to regain my health.

2: The police bust in on your operation and attempt to subdue you. Violently.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (7): A scuffle results in a loss of 6 hp.

Thats it. I focus all of my energy it to one explosion, that will hopefully kill or at least mortally wound all of the players, even myself.

3: You halve your health in the resulting misfire. In addition, all energy-based attacks will suffer -4 penalty to rolls until your energy reserves recover.

Ugh!! I file and fill out the nessicary beurocratic paper work to request a pair of Night Vision goggles

4: You somehow manage to get yourself posted solo on a covert ops mission to take out a generic bad guy in the city. The chopper is leaving now.

Is it too late to join? I'd like to join as a moose with human-level cognitive skills. Or just as a regular human. Whatever's acceptable.

Welcome aboard.

Continue my lessons.. in hell obviously (not on mortal plane)

4 (5): Your marks slip.

I start singing Rage against the Machine's "Bulls on Parade", emphizising the chorus to get the troops to my position.

" Rally 'round the family, with a pocket full of shells!"

7: It appears they are too far away to hear.

The police take another shot at bestrfcplayer.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: He's shocked out of 10 hp, but he's still up.

 

[civplayah]

I take over heaven with my loyalists.

 

[Seon]

I summon an army of angels